Distance Learning
by time4moxie
Summary: Post Season 3 opener Pam's learning who she is and what she wants, and how sometimes you have to fight for what you want. Rated M for one or two or twelve chapters...
1. Chapters 1 through 8

Author's Notes: 

I don't want to wish away Autumn finding out how things go between our lovebirds - so I decided to just take matters into my own hands. I'll probably be way off, but it's still a lot of fun!

Also - this is my very first attempt at ANY sort of fanfic! So constructive criticism certainly welcome, and all comments taken in the spirit of  
good Jam-will!

EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm have a hell of time formating this. I can't get it to show their email addresses, so I just left them as they are. I'm sure you'll get the point. :-)

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Chapter 1 

It had been a long day, and Pam spent most of it feeling badly for Oscar. As usual Michael made the biggest ass of himself while thinking he was doing the right thing, and now everyone in a 10 block radius was aware that Oscar was gay. Spending the afternoon locked in the conference room while Michael attempted to put a lip lock on Oscar in the spirit of accepting diversity would not be believed by anyone who did not work at the Scranton branch of the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. Well, maybe ONE person would believe it, but that person wasn't someone she knew anymore. That person walked out of her life in May. He left her over four months ago and hadn't made a single attempt to contact her since. So she did her best not to think about him. Unfortunately she was coming to realize that her best wasn't even beginning to cut it.

Jim had left to take a promotion at the Stamford branch practically overnight after the casino fund raiser. Left immediately after telling her that he loved her. He had even kissed her. How does someone you've been friends with for over 3 years - best friends, really - lay all of that on you and then disappear forever because you didn't give them the answer they were looking for? She will never forget how angry she was the Monday she came into the office and found he was gone. That kiss and brief conversation made up the last moments they had shared, and her feelings of being totally abandoned just took over, making her practically hate him in her fury. She swore that she'd just put it all behind her and move on without him.

She didn't think like to dwell on the fact that perhaps she didn't have a real reason to be angry. She couldn't pretend that she had no idea he felt that way about her. Yes, his confession had been taken her aback in its intensity, but out and out surprise her? No, it hadn't. It just made her face the fact that she was living two lives - one with him in the office, Monday through Friday from 8 to 5, and then the other one that involved getting married to Roy. If she was being truly honest with herself, she shouldn't be angry at Jim for leaving, she should be ashamed of herself for letting things go on as long as the did, and then breaking the heart of her best friend in the process. But it was easier to just be angry. She didn't have to lie awake examining her own broken heart in the middle of the night if she just stayed angry.

As the months passed however, her angry shield against all things Jim started to chip away. She stopped pretending to do something else if his name was brought up in casual conversation. When the Dunder Mifflin quarterly newsletter came out in August and mentioned his promotion, she kept a copy. Granted she hid it in the back of a bottom drawer, along with a messy stack of scrap paper, a pair of extra socks, and 2 boxes of raisins that probably should have been tossed out ages ago, but she did keep it. And she remembered it was there.

It was late afternoon when Dwight opened a package that just arrived from the Stamford branch. Pam didn't think anything of it until she heard him say Jim's name. Suddenly the only thing she could focus on was what was in the box. Dwight pulls out a headset and something that could only be described as a weedwacker with the bottom cut off.

_What in the hell was that thing?_

She finally saw the lettering on the side of the machine. GAYDAR, it said, and she practically burst out laughing.

_Oh My God,_ she thought. _How is it even possible he knew about what happened today?_

She thought back to a conversation she overhead between Jim and Dwight ages ago, with Jim convincing Dwight that a machine existed that could tell you if a person was straight or gay simply by waving it over them.

Dwight must have called Jim today, she thought. But she was simply amazed that Jim could pull it off so fast.

Her first reaction was to email him and let him know what a wonderful thing he had done. It wasn't until she opened up a browser window that she remembered he hadn't made any contact with her since that night she told him she was still going to marry Roy - despite their fantastic,earth-shattering kiss. She had also sworn to herself that she wasn't going to be the first one to break that silence.

She sat at her desk and argued with herself over what to do. She knew she was being petty, and it didn't sit well with her. She had been through a great deal these last few months, practically entirely on her own. She faced the fact that the best friend she ever knew moved away. She called off a long-planned wedding only days before the event. She was living independently for the first time in her life. Had she learned nothing from all of this? Did she really still believe that she alone had sole right to be angry for the way things had turned out between Jim and herself? She had walked away from Jim, and then walked away from Roy. Where was she walking to, exactly?

_It's not like sending a simple email is admitting you were wrong and can't live without him, _she scolded herself. _Isn't it time you test the waters and see if there's any friendship left at all?_

So she screwed up courage and started the email.

_**To: j.  
From: p. **_

**I commend you for the Gaydar. Dwight is besides himself over his new tool. I'm sure soon he'll out all of us. Thanks so much for that.**

**Oops, I think Dwight's just discovered he's gay. :-)**

She stopped, wondering how much more to say. It was surprisingly easy to open with such a light tone, and she could probably ramble for a great deal longer, but she was afraid of writing too much. She would be mortified if she wrote him a long email and he didn't so much as acknowledge it. She felt a strong longing to write something a litter more personal, to try and see how things stood, but she chickened out.

Let's just see if he even bothers to reply.

She took a deep breath and hit 'send'. She let out her breath so loud Ryan looked up from his desk (well, Jim's desk) and gave her a strange look. Lately that's been his usual look to her.

_Well, I guess that's that,_ she thought. _We'll see what happens._

But the butterflies in her stomach gave away the fact that she certainly did not feel as nonchalant about this as she was pretending. He'd won; she gave in and contacted him first. But somehow she didn't feel like she'd lost just yet. She realized that the only way she'd lose now is if he decided to ignore her attempt at reaching out.

She just hoped she wouldn't have to wait too long to find out.

* * *

Chapter 2 

Jim was returning to his desk after a stop at the vending machine when he heard the faint ding that announced a new email arrival. He popped open his soda and took a big swig while he brought up his email account. The shock of seeing the return address nearly caused him to choke on his drink.

Pam. It was an email from Pam. He wondered when this day would come, although after four months he was starting to worry that his chances were shifting from "when" to "if" she'd ever contact him.

He opened it and immediately began to smile. He chuckled at her thank you for letting Dwight out them all and grinned even harder when she said Dwight had just discovered his own gayness. He was still smiling inanely at the screen when Andy stood up and noticed him.

"Hey, Big Tuna – what's got you smiling?"

Jim immediately brought another window up, blocking Pam's email when Andy leaned over trying to see what Jim was reading. "Nothing, man," Jim said nonchalantly. "Just some news from home."

"Well, I'm outta here," Andy declared. "Why don't you get out from behind that desk and get a life, okay?"

"Will do," Jim replied.

Andy had been razzing Jim about his long hours at the office practically ever since Jim started. Sometimes Andy accused him of being a brownnoser and out to make everyone else look bad. Other times Andy picked on Jim's working hours as proof that Jim was a loser with no social life. Jim didn't really care what Andy – or anyone else at the Stamford branch – thought. If Jim was working overtime it was because it was a way to keep busy. He knew if he spent too much time alone at home, he'd spend most of it thinking about Pam. Well, that and play video games. And he doubted that too much of either was very good for him.

But tonight was different. Having received Pam's message Jim was eager to head home and away from the eyes of the world to think about what this could mean. So he started tidying up his desk as soon as Andy left and packed up his messenger bag. And even though he knew he could reread her note on his laptop at home, he printed out a copy and stuffed that into his bag as well. He smiled at his foolishness – he felt like he was acting much like a 14 year old girl who just received an autographed photo of her favorite boy band group member – but he didn't really care. That short email had woken up parts of his mind and heart that had been stuffed down for quite some time, and damned if he wasn't going to make the most of it. It was turning out to be quite a good day.

When Jim can bear to think about it at all, his memory of the night of the casino party focuses mostly on one thing: that the hardest thing he's ever done in his life was to walk away from Pam after that kiss. Their kiss. Not the drunkenly sweet and jubilant kiss she planted on him at the Dundies, but their first real kiss. He knew when she kissed him back that he hadn't been imagining her interest in him all these years. Her admission that she had wanted to kiss him for a long time as well was music to his ears. He was so close to believing things were finally going to pull together. But then she insisted that she was still going to marry Roy. With that statement she had pretty much plunged a knife into his heart.

He thought that overall he had hidden his pain pretty well. He managed to respond with a simple 'okay' and walk away from her. He would have done anything for her, given her the world had she but asked for it, but if laying his heart completely open met with the equivalent of "that's nice, but it's not enough" then he knew he could do no more. He walked away because the only other option was to beg. And he knew that if she hadn't changed her mind after that kiss, begging would just make him feel more pathetic than he already felt. So he turned and walked away, and decided that the rest of his life had to start immediately.

And that's why he was living in Stamford, despite his claim to the film crew. Let everyone think he decided that paper selling was his life's desire, and not a dark-haired receptionist that could make him laugh with just a look. He was making more money, and had moved up a title. He was living in a well-located apartment near where his new branch was located. It was newly built, with lots of amenities, and if it was smaller than his old place it didn't really matter as he no longer had a roommate to share it with. In so many ways it was clear that he had made a move for the better. But then why was this short email the best thing he could remember happening to him since he arrived?

When Jim got home, he threw a frozen dinner in the oven and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He threw is messenger back on the kitchen table and took out the printed email. Unfolding it, he pressed out the creases in the paper and reread it. He smiled yet again, and began to wonder what made this little event be the one that finally got her talking to him again. Had he known a prank would get her attention, he would have done one months ago.

Time to play detective, he thought. What did I do to get her to write to me? And what should I be doing next?

Two and half beers and one lasagne entree later, Jim still wasn't sure what his next move should be. There was nothing in her email that suggested he even needed to respond to what she said. It was just a short note basically telling him that his prank had worked. But he knew Pam, and he knew that she wouldn't have written if she didn't want him to write back. He had to believe that this was her way of reaching out to him. And it was so classically Pam. Play detached – play like you don't care – and then see if it gets a response. That way if he didn't reply, she could act like she never expected one.

Okay, what am I going to say to Pam? He wondered for the zillionth time. Finishing off his beer, he placed his dishes in the sink, and he headed back to his bedroom. He threw himself onto his bed, rolled onto his back with his hands behind his head and began to formulate his reply. He glanced over to his desk, still right next to his bed. His whole bedroom was pretty much a re-creation of his bedroom back in Scranton. He looked at the photo he had prominently on the desk. It was one of Pam and himself from last year's Christmas party. He had been standing at Pam's desk; Pam was showing him that she got her teapot back from Dwight. Just as they were smiling over the 'extra presents' that he had added, Phyllis called their names and then snapped the photo. After the holidays Phyllis had given copies of the photo to each of them. Jim thought it was the greatest picture because it was so clear that they had been sharing a private happy moment. He wondered for a moment if he should ask Pam what she had done with her copy, but then thought better of it. Better to keep the tone as neutral as hers had been.

To hell with it, he groaned, I'm just over-analzying one stupid email. It's not like it's a declaration of her undying love. Maybe Andy's right and I do need to get a life.

He got up and sat at his desk, turning on his laptop. Once bringing his email account up, he opened Pam's message. He read it once again (although he already knew it by heart) and hit the reply button.

**_To: p.  
From: j._**

**Pam -**

**I'm always glad to be of service. I wish I could have seen Dwight parading around in all his glory, ridding the Scranton branch of all those frightening homosexuals. You'll be able to sleep safely at night now.**

**I hope everything else is going okay up there. You wouldn't believe how different the Stamford branch is. Nobody even thought my jello joke was funny. But at least my desk has a window view.**

**Feel free to keep me updated. I do wonder how people are.**

**Take care,**

**Jim**

He sat back and reread his reply. Smooth Halpert, he smiled. Nice and light, but with just enough interest so that she will feel confident in writing again. He hit the send button, and then laid back down on his bed.

In some ways it was an entirely ridiculous situation. He had moved away to start fresh, to forget Pam and the heartbreak, and here he was doing what he could to get her to talking to him again. But Jim was nothing if not loyal, and despite how they'd left things he missed her because she was his best friend. He still had Mark, his buddy from college, but it wasn't the same. Mark was a drinking buddy, a sports buddy, a just-hanging-out kind of friend. He knew he could depend on Mark for anything, and Mark had been down a time or two this summer to see him. But Mark wasn't the person Jim could talk about his feelings with, or his crazy ideas, or vent his problems. Pam had been that person. Behing apart might be easier on his heart in the sense that he wasn't reminded everyday that they weren't a couple, but the real downside was that he didn't have anyone to talk to anymore. The people at the Stamford branch were pleasant enough, but it took less than a week for him to realize that there wasn't anyone who shared his sense of humour, and to him being able to share a real laugh was absolutely necessary in a good friend.

And then there was the part of him that despite everything – the moving, the silence, the uncertainty – knew he would never be able to give up the hope that one day he and Pam would have the relationship he knew they were capable of. That was the part that had originally responded so strongly to her email this afternoon. That little bit of hope that he could not manage to snuff out. It had come close to dying, certainly. But a phone call from Toby in early June had reignited the spark. As things stood now, Jim knew he still had a chance. But decided he wasn't going to do the chasing anymore. He would wait until she came to him. He'd always be welcoming of any advance she made, but he knew for things to work out the impetus was on Pam. And he really hoped today's email was the start of that dance for them.

* * *

Chapter 3 

Pam entered the building at the ungodly hour of 6:30am. She had spent a sleepless night wondering if Jim was going to reply to her email. She had no way to check from home as the computer she used to have was Roy's. She made a mental note to go out and buy a laptop computer just as soon as next payday arrived.

The only other person in the building when she arrived was the security guard. He gave her a wave and a look that told her he was extremely curious why she's be showing up for work so damn early. She just smiled at him and hoped she didn't come in early for nothing.

She slipped into chair and turned her computer on. She didn't bother turning on the lights and with the darkness and the quiet she almost felt like she was doing something illegal. The slight nervousness in her stomach just added to the drama.

5 new emails awaited her. In a test of patience (or masochism), she started from the most recent and read each individually. First there was a message from corporate confirming paid holidays in 2007. Then a rambling piece from Michael reminding her to remind him about something or other. Some spam came next - this time promising her she'd lose 15 pound in one week with 'absolutely no effort on her part at all!' The fourth was from the Lackawanna Community College, which included a PDF file of the next quarter's classes. And finally, thankfully, an email from Jim.

One of the reasons she had come in early was so she could enjoy in private his email if it arrived. At at the sight of his name, she practically beamed at the computer. Without witnesses, she left the feelings of relief and happiness just wash over her. He had written back, and she was sure that meant that all was not lost.

_Maybe there's a chance we can be friends again, _she hoped, as she began to read his reply. It didn't take her but a minute to compose a reply:

**_To: j.  
From: p._**

**What do you mean they didn't find your jello joke funny? Did you start small with a stapler or did you go right for the calculator? It's clear your talents are being wasted in Stamford.**

**Who do you want to know about?**

**Pam**

Feeling more cheerful than she could remember feeling in a long time, Pam practically bounced to kitchen to get a cup of tea. She carried the steaming cup back to her desk, and was starting to sort out some files sitting on her desk when she realized she had received another email.

**_To: p.  
From: j._**

**You're in the office early, Beesly. I don't remember you being such an early bird. What brought you in so early? Anxious to check your email, perhaps?**

**And I'll let you decide which gossip is in the most urgent need of sharing.**

**Jim**

So he noticed that she was in work too early, and she was slightly embarrassed that he had guessed the reason why. But she could hear the teasing tone in his voice as easily as if he had been standing here talking, so she pretended to ignore his insinuation and decided to throw the accusation back at him.

**_To: j.  
From: p.  
_**

**Hey - Looks like I'm not the only person waiting by their keyboard. :-P**

**Are they really working you that hard in Stamford?**

**Worried in Scranton,  
Pam**

There, she smiled. Let's see what he says to that. She sat back in her chair and enjoyed her tea, feeling more light-hearted than she had in ages. She decided that now was not the time to delve deeper into these awakened feelings, but for once to just go with the flow.

_I'm tired of watching every little word I say or worrying what someone will make of it. Starting today I'm just going to say what I like and people will have to deal with it._

She felt so good that she thought she should mark today as some sort of holiday. A sort of "Yay for Pam" Day. She was about to announce the holiday to Jim, but in her reverie she hadn't noticed that he had replied already.

_**To: p.  
From: j.**_

**Beesly:**

**I will have you know that since I have a laptop, I could just as easily be waiting by my keyboard at home in my pajamas than at the keyboard at work. It's good to have the capability to be pathetic 24/7.**

**As it is, yes, I am at work. I do my best to avoid Stamford traffic, so I'm usually in early and stay late. It's not too bad here, but it's really a different kind of weird than what I'm used to. At least in the Scranton office you could look at people (Dwight!) and know they were certifiably insane. Here everyone dresses and looks likes professionals, but if you dig slightly deeper you see they are alien mutants. I'm not kidding. When you meet Andy you will completely understand what I mean.**

**You neglected to dish the dirt on my former compatriots – what's been happening there?**

**Desperate for Gossip in Stamford,  
Jim**

She was lost in Jim's lastest reply when Michael walked into the office. He flipped the lights on, and saw Pam at her desk.

"Why it's Pamela Beesly, Ladies and Gentleman!" Michael said in a voice best used under the big top than in an office building. "What brings you in this early, Pama-lama-ding-dong?"

Not even Michael and his inane prattle could shake her good mood. She quickly closed her email, as her correspondence with Jim was not something she wanted to share with anyone right now - especially not Michael.

"Good Morning, Michael," she said simply, giving him an indulgent smile. "I just woke up early and decided to get some stuff done here."

"Great. Good for you . It doesn't do any good to lie and bed and cry, so you might as come in and keep your mind off how terrible your life is going." Michael then disappeared into his office, mercifully leaving Pam to go back to her email.

**_To: j.  
From: p._**

**Me again. Michael's just come in. Thankfully he's gone off into his office before I had to smack him down. I usually try to avoid doing that before lunch, but today he's already being more Michael than usual.**

**I'm trying to picture you dressed professionally, but I'm afraid it just not happening. You'll have to send pictures.**

**And as I have just decided that today is officially Yay For Pam Day, if you want to know what you're missing up here, you'll have to play a game with me.**

**Up for it, Halpert?**

**Pam**

* * *

Chapter 4 

Jim noticed that people arrived for work at the Stamford office generally much earlier than they did back in Scranton. Actually it seemed like the people did everything here just a bit more than back home. They dressed more professionally, they were more serious about their work, even the inter-office relations seemed more intense. There was no undertone of friendly comraderie like that he had grown to love in Scranton; hell he had to admit that on some level he had even liked Dwight. But here you were either loved, hated, or ignored. He was pretty sure he was still in the ignored category (except for his interaction with Andy), and he had to admit that it didn't bother him much. It came in handy, like for this morning. He had been pasted to his computer screen since the first message arrived from Pam, and as various employees arrived, nobody seemed to notice that he hadn't once gotten out of his chair. He was careful to switch over from his email to a spreadsheet if someone walked by his desk, but for the most part he could have been downloading pornography and he doubted anyone would have noticed.

He grinned slightly at the analogy. While absolutely nothing had been said this morning that would have raised a censor's eyebrows, the way he felt having this email conversation with Pam certainly had resulted in a physical reaction. Every time he opened the next message he felt a flutter in his stomach, and his legs felt a little weak. He blamed it on the fact that he hadn't eaten nor had much sleep last night. But deep down he knew the truth. He had just missed her so damn much over the last few months. The fact he was finally interacting with her, and that she was being so lighthearted, so teasing - so much his favourite version of Pam - made it almost feel like the sun had come out after weeks and weeks of rain. He knew better than to assume that this was going to go anywhere farther than chatty emails. But after so much silence this was like cool water to a parched man. And he had certainly been thirsty.

Karen had just arrived at her desk at the same time his email alert went off. He waited a moment before reading Pam's message. Karen probably wasn't watching, but he always felt like he was under a microscrope when she looked at him. When she left to go to the kitchen he quickly switched back to email. He managed to read her message and post a reply before Karen came back to her desk.

**_To: p.  
From: j._**

** "Yay for Pam" day, you say? Now that sounds like there's a story I need to hear. Spill it, Beesly.**

**What game do you have in mind?**

**Increasingly curious in Stamford,**

**Jim**

Sending it off, Jim took this moment to finally get out of his chair and get some feeling back into his legs. A bathroom break and a vending machine stop later, he was back with two cans of soda. _Ah, caffeine,_ he thought. _The breakfast of champions._ As hoped, he already had a reply from Pam.

**_To: j.  
From: p._**

**Never you mind about the background on 'Yay for Pam' day, you dork.**

**Do you want to play or not?**

**Feeling lucky,**

**Pam**

Jim laughed quietly. He could picture her typing this email, the challenge she issued reflecting clearly on her face. That was one of the things he loved so much about her. Even if she wanted to, it was nearly impossible for her to hide her feelings. He never met anyone who wore their heart on their sleeve so much or so well. It was just one of the reasons he always found himself looking at her, watching her. When she was happy, she positively radiated joy. When she was angry or irritated, well...he knew when to lay low. He wished he could see her face today.

**_To: p.  
From: j._**

**I am always ready to meet any challenge you issue. I just think I deserve to know why we are celebrating YOU today. I mean, why is it "Yay for Pam" day and not "Yay for Jim" day?**

**Just curious,**

**Jim**

He knew his reply was veering towards perhaps a more serious conversation, but considering how the morning was going, he felt a confidence he hadn't had in a while. What he really wanted to know was if he had been of any influence in her decision to make today a 'holiday.' He knew it sure felt like a special day to him.

_**To: j.  
From: p.**_

**Deserve t****o know? Hmm, that might be pushing it a bit. ;-)**

**Okay, I'll tell you, but it's not that big of a deal. I just feel really good today, really in control of my life, and I decided today that I was going to stop worrying about what I say to whom. I'm just going to start saying what I think, and to hell with the consequences. So I'm commencing my new bad attitude with a "Yay for Pam" day. I expect by next year Hallmark will be issuing the appropriate greeting cards.**

**Good enough for you, Halpert?**

**Pam**

_Wow. Who was this woman and where did Pam go?_ He smiled. I think I could get used to that, if it's true.

**_To: p.  
From: j._**

**Definitely good enough for me. So let's start celebrating "Yay for Pam" (YfP!) day immediately. Is there something special I should do or wear in honor of this?**

**And start telling me about the game already!**

**Seriously, I'm really happy that you are so feeling so good, Pam. I'm glad I got to hear about it directly from you.**

**Jim**

He slowly let out his breath as he sent off his message. He had hesitated in writing that last sentance, but what the hell, he thought. If she's serious about saying how she felt, then he should too. They had spent too much time in the not-so-distant past speaking less than the truth to each other.

Andy made his morning entrance. He was later than usual, and he was not in a very good mood. "Goddamn cops," Andy said to no one in particular.

Jim knew was going to be dragged into a conversation with Andy anyway, so he just jumped in. "Hey, what's up, man?"

Andy spun his seat around, and smacked his hands on the edge of Jim's desk. "What is the point of driving a Lexus if you aren't going to make the most of it? I ask you, Big Tuna, what is the point?"

He had said that last sentence like there was a period after each word. (Either that or he was attempting a William Shatner impression.) Jim shrugged, not quite sure where this was going.

"There ISN'T a point! A Lexus demands to be driven fast, to be pushed to its limits." Andy snorted. "You try telling that to a goddamn Connecticut State Trooper."

"Ahh," Jim replied, trying to sound sympathetic. In the pause before Andy respnded Jim heard his email alert ring. He pretended not to notice it, and prayed Andy didn't. Andy seemed to think that everyone's email was his to read as well, and the topic of Pam wasn't one he ever imagined he'd want to discuss with this man.

Fortunately Andy was too wrapped up in his own drama over this morning's speeding ticket to have noticed. He continued to rant over his perceived injustice while Jim deftly brought the new message up.

**_To: j.  
From: p._**

**Okay - we're going to play a version of a game I played once called 'Truth or Crap'. Basically I'm going to make a statement about someone or something here in Scranton. You have to decide if what I've said is Truth, or if it's Crap.**

**If you get it right, I have to give you another statement. If you get it wrong, then you have to tell me something. Since I don't know anyone in the Stamford office, your statements can also be about you, or about the Scranton branch.**

**Ready to play?**

**Pam**

**P.S. ..and, if I'm really going to start saying how I feel, I should probably start by saying that I'm glad we are talking again. I've really missed talking to you.**

Stamford's regional branch manager Josh Porter walked into the sales room and slapped his hand against the wall to get their attention. "Morning meeting in the conference room in 10." He walked out really looking directly at anyone, their compliance assumed.  
Jim sent off a quick message to Pam. He was beyond pleased by her P.S., and didn't want her to worry she'd said the wrong thing because he hadn't replied immediately.

_**To: p.  
From: j.**_

**I just got called into the morning meeting - I'll let you know when I am back so we can play Truth or Crap. I am guessing there's some sort of scoring system to this?Otherwise, how will we know when I beat you thoroughly in this?**

**Jim**

**P.S. ..and in the spirit of YfP! day, I think you should know that I'm happy we are talking again, too. I've missed you, Pam. I've missed you a lot.**

He sent off the message before he could regret being so daring, and headed to the conference room. He could feel that his face was flushed from the burst of adrenalin he experienced being so honest with Pam. He grabbed his usual seat along the wall and just rested his head in his hand, hoping no one would notice his slight crimson blush. He was also hoping he wouldn't have to do much talking, because the last thing on his mind was paper-selling trash talk with Josh. Jim was more concerned about where today's conversation with Pam might lead. He wondered if today was the day he'd finally get an answer to the one question that had been on his mind since he moved here.

He remember clearly the day before he left for Australia. He was packing up his stuff - some for the trip, some for the move. His phone rang, and when the caller ID said it was Toby, he thought it was just about the right time for a break. He grabbed a beer as he answered the phone, and headed out to the patio for a chat.

Toby didn't waste any time getting to the point of his call: he had just found out that Pam had called the wedding off. Jim had no idea how to respond to the news, even though Toby was well aware of his feelings for Pam. Toby had urged him to go see Pam before he left for Australia, because he couldn't believe it was coincidence that she was breaking it off so soon after Jim's confession and kiss a few weeks back. Jim's first reaction was to go to her, simply because he knew she would be hurting. But he remembered how cold she had been to him the last few weeks since he told her that he loved her, and changed his mind. It would be better to wait and let her come to him. If she left him for Roy, then she would eventually turn up, right? So he thanked Toby for the news, and sat quietly for most of the rest of the afternoon on the patio, drinking beer after beer. When he left for Australia the next day, he was nursing a pretty bad headache. But his heart ached even more.

Jim only realised that the morning meeting had ended when the people around him started to stand up and file out the door. Thankfully Josh hadn't asked anything of Jim. At least he hoped he hadn't. Back at his desk, Pam (in the form of her newest email) was waiting.

**_To: j.  
From: p._**

**Not that it matters, since I am going to so completely wallop you, but we will award one point for every statement you correctly identify as either TRUTH or CRAP. The first person to 20 points will have to buy something for the loser.**

**Let me know when you are back. I have my statement list ready and waiting.**

**Pam**

Hmm. No other response to the missing each other part, he thought. Probably best for now. At least she admitted it first.

**_To: p.  
From: j._**

**Okay, I'm back.**

**BRING. IT. ON.**

**Jim**

It was like she had been sitting in wait for his return.

**_To: j.  
From: p._**

**Truth or Crap: Round 1**

**Michael and Oscar kissed in front of everybody yesterday.**

**Think that's true? Hmm? Could it be? ;-)**

**Pam**

**_  
To: p.  
From: j._**

**Given that Michael called me to ask about GAYDAR, I'm going to have to go with TRUTH for that one, as frightening as it is to even think it could have happened.**

**One for me then?**

**Jim**

**_  
To: j.  
From: p._**

**I gave you an easy one to lull you into a false sense of security. I won't be so nice this time.**

**Truth or Crap: Michael is still dating BOTH Jan and Carol (that real estate woman).**

**Your answer?**

**Pam**

Jim went with his instincts on this one:

_**To: p.  
From: j.**_

**I think this is a loaded question. Michael would say that he is still dating both.I don't think Jan would admit it if they were.**

**Jim**

**_  
To: j.  
From: p._**

**Just answer the question!**

**Pam**

**_  
To: p.  
From: j._**

**Geesh, fine. Okay!**

**I'll say that yes, he is still "dating" both, using whatever definition Michael is currently using.**

**I think you're already afraid I'm going to win...**

**Jim**

_**  
To: j.  
From: p.**_

**Ha! Wrong:-D**

**Michael himself told me that he's decided to date Carol. Although I'm pretty sure he still thinks Jan wants him. Your turn to come up with a statement!**

**Pam**

Jim stopped to think about what statement he should make. He knew what he WANTED to ask, but thought he should at least start with a less loaded question.

**_To: p.  
From: j._**

**Before I start, let's just point out that the score is currently:**

**Beesly - 0 Me - 1**

**Truth or Crap: My first day of work here I was given a nickname based on my lunch.**

**Jim**

_**  
To: j.  
From: p.**_

**Can you tell me who gave you this so-called nickname?**

**Pam**

**_  
To: p.  
From: j._**

**No, because I don't believe in cheating, even if you do so desperately need the point.**

**Besides, I might be making it all up.**

**Jim**

**_  
To: j.  
From: p._**

**Fine. :-P**

**I think it's unlikely that anyone's calling you Ham'n'Cheese, so I will say that statement is FALSE. **

**Or CRAP. Take your pick.**

**Pam**

_**  
To: p.  
From: j.**_

**Oooooh! Nice try, but you are INCORRECT!**

**I know as soon as I send this I will regret telling you, but it's true. On my first day I brought a tuna fish sandwich, and Andy started calling me Big Tuna. I'm convinced he doesn't even know my real name.**

**Now it's back to your serve.**

**Jim**

**_  
To: j.  
From: p._**

**My dear Big Tuna,**

**Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!**

**Love,  
Pam**

**P.S. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha :-D**

**_  
To: p.  
From: j._**

**I knew I could count on you for support and comfort.**

**Now where's my next question, Loser?**

**Jim**

_**  
To: j.  
From: p.**_

**Hey B.T. -**

**Here it is: Kevin and Stacey have finally set a wedding date.**

**Truth or Crap?**

**Pam**

**_  
To: p.  
From: j._**

**I'm just an old romantic, but I'll say that's truth.**

**(and I'm ignoring your feeble attempts to rib me about my new moniker. You are just jealous you don't have such a creative nickname.)**

**Jim**

**_  
To: j.  
From: p._**

**Jealous? Of a man who's nickname makes me wonder if he's packed in oil or water? I don't think so!**

**And I hate to rub salt in an open wound, but you, my fish friend, are W.R.O.N.G.  
It's Phyllis and Bob (you know - Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration!) who are now engaged, though I'm not sure what date it's going to be. I'm sure you'll be invited.**

**What's my next statment? I need to tie up this game!**

**Pam**

The mention of weddings reminded him of what question laid most heavily on his mind.  
_ Oh, what the hell?_ He thought. _Most she can do is stop talking to me..._

**_To: j.  
From: p._**

**I'll look forward to it. I'm glad Phyllis is happy; she's always been good to me.**

**Here's your statement:**

**Not only did Pamela Beesly NOT marry Roy Anderson this past June, she never told her best friend that it didn't happen.**

**Truth...or crap?**

**Jim**

* * *

Chapter 5 

For the first time in ages the workday was just flying by for Pam. She'd arrived at 6:30am and by the time she'd looked up at the clock it was nearly 11am. _Gee, how did that happen, _she giggled to herself. Good thing she really didn't have anything pressing to accomplish today, as she had already pretty much written off the day in terms of doing anything but enjoying this reconnection with Jim.

**Ping.**

In came his statement for her in their Truth or Crap game. She opened her email eagerly. The smile on her face slowly turned downward, and she felt herself flush.

_Goodness,_ she thought. _How am I supposed to react to that?_

She knew this topic would be coming up, but she didn't expect it quite so soon. She actually wanted the chance to talk about it, because she had spent a lot of time thinking about everything that went wrong earlier this year. But today's conversation was so light-hearted and fun, and she just didn't want to ruin that just now. Email wasn't the place to tell him how wrong she had been. Wrong in so many ways.

It took her a few minutes to word things to her satisfaction. She was going on the hunch that despite a lack of smiley face in his last message, he wasn't angry with her. She tried to put herself in his position, and knew if the situation was reversed him not telling her would have really hurt, given how long they had been friends.

_**To: j.  
From: p.**_

**To quote some paper salesman I know: Wow. Wasn't expecting that.**

**In terms of the game, we both know that's an easy point. It's Truth.**

**But it's also Crap. And I have so much to answer for – so much I WANT to tell you, but I'm hoping that you'll be just a little more patient on this point. It would be easy to write it all out in an email – it's all a bit safer at a distance, isn't it really? But you deserve more. You deserve better.**

**If I haven't scared you off with that answer, can I please have another statement? For the score now stands at:**

**Halpert: 1 Me: 1**

**Tie! And I'm really in the mood to win. :-)**

**Pam**

She hit send, and hoped it was enough. She waited for his reply. And waited. She did some half-hearted filing to bide her time, but stopped when she realized she was putting 'J' in front of 'H' in the alphabet. She hit refresh a few times, but still no reply.

_Damn, _she thought. _I screwed up again._

It was nearly 12:30pm when she decided to go to the kitchen to eat her lunch. She wasn't in the least bit hungry, but she needed something to pass the time. She was so anxious that she had said the wrong thing. As she grabbed her lunch bag from her lower drawer, she heard the familiar sound of email. She dropped her bag as if it were on fire, and twisted quickly in her chair. She thought she would throw something if it wasn't a reply from Jim.

_**To: p.  
From: j. -**_

**Hey, sorry about my delay in replying. Josh grabbed me for a late morning meeting that I so wasn't expecting. Looks like I'll be going to Philly next week for a convention or something.**

**Anyway, despite what it looked like, you didn't scare me away. You don't get off that easily, Beesly. But I'm free all this weekend, if you want to call.**

**And yes, here's your next question:**

**Kevin has been emailing me every week giving me "the Scranton Low-Down."**

**Is it Truth or is it crap?**

**Jim**

Pam was relieved that reply hadn't spoiled everything. But she still had a little shiver of nervousness when he read his invitation to call. It was one thing to be chatting via email; but could she be this brave when she heard his voice? His idea that she call THIS weekend gave her butterflies. _He's waited four months to know what the hell happened, _she scolded herself. _Can you blame him for trying to find out how much longer it will be?_

_**To: j.  
From: p.**_

**Ooh, that's a good question! It's something I would expect from Kevin, but he hasn't said anything about it to me.**

**I think it's the truth.**

**And are you serious that you are free all weekend? I thought a cool new social life came with such a job promotion.**

**Pam**

_Nice deflection, Beesly, _she could hear him say. And he certainly would be right. _Yeah, I'm being a coward. _She agreed to herself. _But I need to think this through. Am I ready for this conversation yet?_

What scared her most wasn't telling him the part about how she called the wedding off, or how she spent her time afterwards. Even explaining why she never called to tell him the news wasn't going to be terribly hard for her to talk about. What she worried most about was his reaction. She had hoped to have more time in regular conversation with him, to try and find out how he was feeling about her now. He didn't seem like he'd changed much, but then again his confession of love in May was a blindsiding she didn't expect either. Maybe he's acting just the same but has decided he made a mistake in telling me he loved me and now he's relieved he's far enough away. How do I fill him in without giving away how much differently I see things? She wanted nothing more than to tell him that she was interested in going farther in their relationship now, but paralyzed with fear that he no longer felt the same way.

_This 'being honest' stuff is a load of crap sometimes, _she thought crossly. Then she smiled at her own pun. She was prevented from thinking about even worse jokes because Jim had replied.

_**To: p.  
From: j.**_

**Yes, that does sound like Kevin, doesn't it. But it's not him – it's Michael. Which is why I don't trust anything written in it. ;-)**

**I believe that means you are (once again!) incorrect. It now stands at my lead with 2. Your question?**

**Oh, and yes, this job promotion did come with a fancy new social life, but apparently I was not hip enough to maintain it. So it's been back to video games and porn for a while now.**

**Is your cell phone number the same? I expect your home phone must have changed, but I don't have it (nor your new address). Do you have my new cell phone number? Or my new address, for that matter. All this exchange of information, fun isn't it?**

**Jim**

_**To: j.  
From: p.**_

**No, that's not right, cheater. You don't get a point if I get a question wrong! It's like volleyball – you have to have the ball back in your court to score. My getting the answer wrong just means you get the ball back, so to speak. So it's still 1-1. I knew you were a geek, but I thought you played sports at some point in your life – Geesh!**

**Re: games and porn – I'm so relieved some things haven't changed. I was worried you'd be too classy for me now.**

**Yes, my cell phone number is the same. Here's my new information:**

**7 Laurel Drive  
Scranton, PA 18505-2213  
570-347-9460**

**I don't have an answering machine set up at home yet, so it's probably best to rely mostly on my cell phone. No, I don't have your new information – so please send along. Do you want another to play another round of ToC?**

**Pam**

_**To: p.  
From: j.**_

**Why wouldn't I want to play another round? Not quitting on me, are you?**

**Here's my current address, etc.:**

**1455 Washington Blvd.  
Apt # 122 Stamford, CT 06902- 8800  
Home: 203-329-1578  
Cell: 203-324-6363**

**It's actually possible that not only am I now too classy for you, but I'm too classy for myself. The place I live is more like a hotel, but my options were limited at the time. (And don't get me started on the rent difference!)**

**Where's my ToC statement? And should I write you in for sometime this weekend or what?**

**Jim**

_**To: j.  
From: p.**_

**Rats – Jan's just come in and she doesn't look too happy. Three guesses who's on her naughty list today? (and I DON'T mean that kind of naughty list!)**

**My replies may be slow if she decides I'm needed to watch the horror show.**

**Your statement for the ToC game is: I have applied for the DM graphics department internship.**

**If you are sure you'll be free, I could call you tomorrow night – just let me know what time would be good for you.**

**Pam**

In so many ways she didn't feel ready to talk to Jim on the phone, but she found it impossible to turn down his second less-than-subtle reminder. She just knew that once she heard his voice, there'd be no going back.

Much as she had feared, Jan appeared from out of Michael's office and asked Pam to join them in the conference room.

_**To: j.  
From: p.**_

**Damn. She's called me into the conference room with her, Michael and some guy who came with Jan. I think he's a lawyer. I don't know when I'll be back, but remember that you only get ONE guess at the statement.**

**Try not to miss me, okay?**

**Pam**

As she picked up her notebook and pen, she joined them in the conference room. She wondered if it was wise signing off on that last email that way, given their situation. That and the fact that last thing she wanted him to do is NOT miss her. When she thought about calling him tomorrow she could only hope he had missed her.

She barely paid attention during the meeting that seemed to drag on forever. Pam was taking dictation for letters Michael had to send out to make reparations for the Oscar incident, and Jan was pulling together a new routine for Michael that seemed would ultimately just mean twice as much paperwork for Pam. By the time she could escape it was nearly 4pm, and she couldn't get back to her computer quick enough. _Twenty-four hours and I'm already shamelessly addicted to him again,_ she thought. But it wasn't a feeling she really minded.

There were two emails waiting for her from Jim.

_**To: p.  
From: j.**_

**I hope you aren't kidding about the graphics internship. You know how I feel about that. If that's not a Truth I will drive up to Scranton right now and smack you.**

**Sorry to hear about the commotion – hope Jan leaves you out of it. I just got an appointment confirmed, so I'll be out a sales call this afternoon. Hopefully we can continue our game until I have to leave.**

**Jim**

**_To: p.  
From: j._**

**Looks like you got snagged. I'm leaving here in a few minutes, so I guess the game's on hold until Monday. Consider it your weekend reprieve.**

**Saturday's good to call. I really will be home all day, so let me know works best for you. I'll be online from home over the weekend, so if you reply to this before you leave work I'll get it.**

**I look forward to talking to you (versus "talking" to you) tomorrow.**

**Try not to miss me either, okay?**

**Jim**

She couldn't help but smile at the way he had turned her last statement around against her. _Yeah, I'll try to stop missing you, _she thought. _And then I'll try to stop breathing, too. _She sent him a short message saying she would try to call early afternoon; probably no later than 2pm. She felt she needed to give him an exact time so she couldn't completely chicken out.

Since Pam had been in so early, she didn't feel the least bit guilty in leaving well before her usual time. She picked up some groceries, stopped off at the post office, and still was inside her apartment in time for the six o'clock news. She watched the news while she made a simple dinner. And during it all, the only thought on her mind was calling Jim. She had no idea what she was going to do between then and tomorrow.

After dinner she thew a load of wash in. She changed the sheets on her bed. She took a long bath. She looked at the clock. It wasn't even 8pm yet. She thought she was going to scream. She contemplated going to bed, but she knew there was no way she could sleep. Finally she faced the fact. She needed to call him now and just get it over with. She spent a few more minutes of useless debate over the fact she said she'd phone him tomorrow, not tonight.

Finally she just picked up her cell phone and threw herself on the couch. She had programmed his telephone numbers in her phone when he sent them this morning. In retrospect she thought that had been a wise move, as her hands were shaking so badly at that point that she didn't think she could have dialed a 10 digit number to save her life.

She listened to his phone ring twice, and then there he was.

"Hello?" Jim said. God, she thought. Had his voice always been that deep? That sexy?

"Hey, Jim – it's me, Pam."

"Hey! What's up?"

"Um, listen – I hope I'm not bothering you. I'm not interrupting anything, am I? Because I could just call you tomorrow like I said I would..."

Jim cut her off. "No! Not at all – I already told you I wasn't doing anything. Tonight's good."

"Oh, okay. It's just that it felt like a weight hanging over my head so I thought I should just get it over with..." she trailed off when she realized what she had just said. "Wait – I mean, I WANTED to talk to you – it wasn't a chore or anything bad..."

She could hear Jim laughing. "That's fine, Pam, really. I think I understand what you are trying to say. I'm glad you called tonight, actually – I was sitting here wondering how I was going to pass the time until you called tomorrow."

His confession, identical to her own, nearly made her cry with relief. He hasn't changed, she thought gratefully. "Yeah," she replied.

There was a brief silence. "So how are you?" he asked quietly.

"I'm doing pretty well, actually," Pam said truthfully. "It's taken a while, but I think I've finally got a handle on which direct I want my life to move."

"That's awesome, " Jim said. "It really is – "

"I've missed you though," Pam said, cutting in. "Don't think that I haven't."

Jim went silent. When he finally spoke his voice sounded a bit rougher. "I've missed you too, Pam."

She wondered briefly if he was crying. Just the though that he might be made tears spring to her own eyes.

"Jim, I'm so, so sorry." She said, feeling her tears welling up. "I'm just sorry about everything."

"I know." He said soothingly.

"I know I don't deserve it, but I want to make things right again. Am I too late to make things right?"

"Don't be silly," he said, his voice sounded more like his own again. "Do you think you could ever be too late? We're friends – we always will be friends. No matter what."

"Given how I've treated you in the past, it could easily have been too late. I'm sure anyone else in the universe would tell me it was too late. I spent a great deal of time this summer thinking about all the reasons you had to hate me, and all the ways I proved what a horrible friend I really was to you. "

"That sounds like quite a list. Can you send it to me on Monday or do you just want to read through it now?"

"Now you're laughing at me."

"No I'm not." he said, trying unsuccessfully to mask a chuckle. "I just think that maybe you're being a little too hard on yourself. You weren't the sole guilty party to this mess."

"Oh that's right. Your crime was telling me you loved me. I can see how I'd never forgive you for that."

"It wasn't the best timing, though, was it?"

"Given I was getting married in three weeks, what option did you have?"

Jim gave out a huge laugh. "Wait a minute! Are you defending me? Which side are you on, because I'm confused."

Pam could do nothing but join in his laughter. "I'm hoping that we're on the same side," she finally replied.

"So you want to fill me in on what I've missed since June then?" Jim asked tenderly.

"Just the highlights or the play-by-play?"

"Oh, definitely the play-by-play."

"I hope you have a lot of minutes on your phone plan then"  
"I'll survive," Jim replied. "But in the future maybe we should get one of those plans that lets us talk to each other for free."

Pam giggled, and then began the process of opening her heart completely open to Jim. She told him how confused she had been the weekend after the Casino Night, and how angry and heartbroken she was to find he had gone without a goodbye.

"Yeah, that was a pretty cowardly way to go out," Jim admitted. "I'm sorry about that."

"Again I'll remind you that you were under a bit of duress at the time. I realize now that I should have taken that as a sign to find you."

"So it was the being angry at my leaving that kept you silent?" he asked.

"Partly, at least at first," she said truthfully. "Then after I called the wedding off I guess I expected you'd find out somehow and you would contact me. When you didn't I assumed you didn't want anything to do with me anymore. By that point I was too proud to be the one to reach out. It was pretty stupid."

"We've both had some shining stupid moments," he concurred.

"Speaking as someone who feels things might actually turn out okay," Pam said slowly, "I wonder if it just had to turn out the way it did. I'm not sure I'd have learned so much about myself if I hadn't spent all of June and July crying."

"You cried ALL of June and July?"

"It sure seemed like it. First I was crying out of anger and frustration. Also I cried over all the time I had spent in what turned out to be the wrong relationship for me. Then I cried because I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Finally most of the pieces started falling into place, and I was crying less."

"Well that's good to hear."

Pam took a deep breath and finished her thought. "I guess the only thing I cried over after all of that was you. I missed so you much."

"I know the feeling," Jim replied.

Pam tried to lighten the mood a bit. "Well you'll be happy to know that I haven't shed a single tear in the last 2 days."

"Nah, me neither. You think we can make it 3 days?"

She could hear him smiling, and it pleased her. "I think so. I'm willing to shoot for a whole week if you are."

"Done deal, Beesly. You're on."

She wanted to say something else – something more that would let him know just how deeply she missed him. Not just as a friend – but missed what might be theirs now had she just not been so afraid that night. But he wasn't offering anything more than what she was, and she was afraid to be any bolder. So she started talking about less sensitive subjects, like her new apartment and how she'd been decorating. And how she'd been creating art like never before.

"That reminds me, Beesly," Jim said. "Tell me that last round of Truth or Crap you sent me was true. Tell me you applied for the graphics internship."

"Well, no – actually it was crap," she began.

"Pam!"

"Wait! I'm not done – I haven't applied yet because I'm signed up to take some classes over the next couple of months. I want to expand my portfolio so when I apply they'll have absolutely no choice but to take me."

Jim sighed, "Well, thank god for that. I really didn't have enough energy to drive 3 hours to Scranton tonight to smack some sense into you."

Even though he was joking, she felt a little down at his comment. How I wish he could be here, she mused.

"Still with me, Beesly?" Jim asked, breaking up her fantasy before it even had a chance to start.

"Oh yeah," she said, with more coolness than she actually felt. "I was just wondering what it WOULD take to get you to drive up here."

"Well now," Jim grinned. "Now that's a very interesting and potentially loaded question. I guess it would depend on what you're offering."

Pam knew he could hear her blushing. "Well, to be honest I can't say I had thought it through quite that far."

"Well, I could be open to negotiation if you come up with something," Jim smiled.

"So I suppose the reward of seeing my bright, smiling face isn't enough of an enticement then, Halpert?"

"I never said that."

"Well, call it a hunch then. I don't expect most guys would consider a handshake and a coffee reason enough to drive 3 hours one way to see a girl"  
"In case you hadn't already noticed, Miss Beesly, I am NOT 'most guys'. And I am slightly offended that you think I am."

Jim assumed an injured tone so well that all Pam could do was break down into giggles. "Oh, I'm well aware you aren't 'most guys'." She calmed down and asked mischievously "Does that mean you're on your way?"

Jim didn't respond. In fact the phone was quiet so long Pam first thought the connection was lost. "Jim?" she queried.

"I'm here," he replied. "Do you really want me to come up?"

Just the way his voice wavered slightly while asking the question made Pam's stomach do a huge flip. Man, this is it, she thought. Please don't let me screw this up.

"Um..let me just put it this way: what I want and what I think we should do are different things. To answer your question, yes. I would love to see you. But I think you already know that. And for as crazy wonderful it would be to have you here, I'm not sure I'm ready for it, if that makes any sense. I've gone from thinking you were lost to me forever to having spent nearly every waking moment talking to you today. I think if I actually had you in the same room I'd have a heart attack."

She heard him laugh again, and knew she'd gotten it right for once. "Do you understand?"

"Yeah, yeah I do, Pam."

"Just tell me again how I haven't lost you."

"You never lost me, Pam. Not really, anyway."

"But I should have. I deserved it."

"Well, I guess that's something I can just hold over your head for the rest of our lives."

"Fair enough," she smiled. "I have no doubt you'll make the most of it."

An idea struck her and she became serious again. "Hey, I've been telling you all about how I've been coping. You have neglected to talk about you."

"You mean, 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation'?"

"Yeah. I mean, how did you find out about the wedding being off? How did your first days at the Stamford branch go? I have no idea what you were going through."

"You know, do you think we could save that conversation for tomorrow?"

"Sure," she said, suddenly afraid she'd offended him. "Did you want to hang up now?"

"No – no, not at all. It's just - " Jim stammered, "It's just that I really have tried to block out that period of time. I'm not sure I want to bring this whole conversation down right now."

She was sure he didn't mean to, but Pam felt a wave of incredible guilt over how she hurt him wash all over her again.

"Oh, Jim," she cried. "I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot."

"No you're not. It's okay." he replied. "Really. I know I should talk about it. But we've got time, right?"

"All the time in the world. I promise you I'm not going anywhere. You will regret every talking to me because I'm never going to let you out of my life ever again. Got it?"

"I got it." She could tell he was smiling again, and her heart swelled a bit. It mattered so much to her that he be happy. She could easily imagine spending the rest of her life making him happy.

"Ryan thinks I'm crazy," Pam said matter-of-factly, trying to change the subject to something less sensitive.

"..and this is news how, exactly?"

"I'm serious!"

"Why would he think you're crazy?"

"Because he always catches me staring at him."

"Do I want to know why you are staring at him?"

"Well," Pam began, realizing how this was going to sound. "He sits at your desk now. And I guess I'm just too used to looking in that direction."

"Yes, I have to admit I miss being treated like eye candy," Jim grinned.

"Hey, you are what you are – it's not my fault if you're devastatingly handsome."

"You know, you could have tried to make that sound at least a little convincing."

Pam broke down into giggle fits again. "I thought I was being convincing."

"Uh-huh. Well, as they say – don't give up your day job."

"Besides, I find it very hard to believe that you don't have the ladies of the Stamford branch eating out your hand. I'm sure you've hardly noticed I'm not there to gawk since you have so many admirers to chose from."

"Oh yes, they're lined up around the block. In fact I'm going to have to cut this call short soon so I can satisfy the three waiting for me back in my bedroom."

"Only three?"

"Well I need to keep my strength up for the half-dozen I've got lined up for tomorrow."

"Nice." Pam tried to sound offended, but her laughter gave her away.

"Actually, there are few women there that would even be remotely my type."

"And what is your type, exactly?"

"Well, I'm usually partial to dark-haired creative receptionist-types."

"Oh, well those are pretty hard to find."

"Tell me about it. I've had to settle for those long-legged New York model types."

The image of Jim with a beautiful model was a little dig in her heart, even though she knew he wasn't being serious.

"Suck it, Halpert."

"Wow – touched a nerve, have we?"

"I said suck it." She did manage a little smile this time.

"As you wish," he said congenially.

Pam wasn't sure she heard him right. "Have you been OD'ing on the Princess Bride again?"

Jim paused. "Maybe," he said playfully.

"You know, admitting the problem is the first step."

"I thought I did that in May."

"Whoa – you are so on your game tonight, aren't you?"

Jim laughed. "It's the company I keep."

Pam thought she could easily spend the rest of the night talking like this with Jim. It was like summer had never happened, but better. Better because she was free to talk, to flirt, to just have fun without feeling a nagging sense of guilt. Better because she had a better sense of who she was, and what she wanted. Better because she had a new and deep appreciation for Jim. There weren't words to describe how lucky she felt to have been given this second chance with him.

It was approaching midnight when Jim mentioned the time. "You do realize we have been talking for four hours?"

"Hmm – that long? You could have been here by now."

Jim groaned slightly. "I don't think I want to think about that right now. If you don't mind."

"No, I guess it's better we don't. Is it too forward of me to ask when I might see you?"

"That's up to you, I guess," Jim replied. "You're the one who's worried about dying of a heart attack."

"Oh, right," Pam laughed. "I forgot."

"This coming week I'm going to be in Philadelphia. I have to meet Josh at an office supply convention at the beginning of the week, and then I'm going to take the rest of the week off to stay there and see some friends."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, just a couple of friends of college who moved down there when they left Scranton to get a life. I expect I'll be back in Stamford that following Sunday."

Pam got off her couch and walked to the calendar hanging in the kitchen. "So that means the first open weekend for you is the second weekend in October."

"Most of my weekends are open ones. This is really just a fluke. A poorly-timed fluke," he replied.

"Hmm. Well I have an all day art seminar that second Saturday in October, which wastes half of that weekend. What would you say to getting together the third weekend of October? We might even still have some colored leaves on the trees by then."

"That sounds doable. Shall I come up to Scranton or do you want to come to Stamford?"

"You come up here, if you don't mind. I want to show you my new apartment."

"Done deal. I shall write it on my calendar."

They talked for a while longer. Nothing of outstanding consequence was said, but it was as if neither could bring themselves to hang up.

"I should mention that is now well after one o'clock in the morning," Pam yawned.

"Bored of me already?" Jim teased.

"Never. But I have been up for about 20 hours."

"Yeah, me too. I guess we could always finish this tomorrow."

Pam giggled. Everything was starting to seem hilarious as sleep-deprivation sunk in. "You think?"

"Or not," Jim replied pointedly. "Maybe I just won't answer the phone when you call."

"Not likely," she teased. "You'll be waiting by the phone all day for my call."

"Probably," he agreed softly.

"Well you give me a call when you wake up tomorrow."

"As you wish," Jim said again.

"No, as you wish," Pam replied.

* * *

Chapter 6

Though Pam had gone to bed hours later than usual, she found herself wide awake at 7am. She laid in bed, with a vague feeling that she was forgetting something. Suddenly she sat straight up in bed - "Shit!" she said, throwing the blankets back. "I've got a class today!"

In the wake of recent events, Pam had completely forgotten that she was signed up for a one-day program in beginning graphic design at the university. It didn't start until 10am, fortunately, but forgetting the class so completely like that wasn't the way she wanted to start her day. She went to the kitchen for her morning tea and to refresh her memory on the schedule for today.

Design Projects for Adobe Illustrator: 10-11:50  
PhotoShop for the Digital Photographer: 12-1:50  
Drawing for Graphic Design: 2-3:50

_Nothing too difficult, _she thought. In fact when she signed up last month, she was excited to be able to try out a few software packages before having to invest in one. She still looked forward to going, but she was worried she might miss Jim's call.

_Better just leave him a text message and let him know,_ she thought. She kinda liked having somewhere to go this morning. It wouldn't make her look like she had no life. And for some reason, she found it more appealing to think about talking to him through the night again instead of the middle of the afternoon. _I guess it feels more like a date if I'm tying up his evening,_ she thought to herself. _God, I'm such a freaking loser._

She grabbed her phone from the couch where she had left it last night. She typed I forgot I have some classes today. **Won't be home until after 4pm. Hope I can call then.** - and then went back to her tea. She nearly jumped out of her chair when her phone rang. Who could that be at 7:30am on a Saturday morning?

"Hey, you," a familiar voice said as she picked up the phone.

"What are you doing up, Halpert?" she asked, a big grin spreading across her face. "I thought I wore you out last night."

He made a noise that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a choke. "Nice. Does your mother know you talk like that?"

"Who do you think taught me?"

"Okay. It's way too early to have an answer for that."

"Exactly. What are you doing awake?"

"Not much, really. Just couldn't sleep. I got your message and thought I'd call. What classes are you taking?"

Pam spent nearly an hour talking on the phone to Jim about the classes, her plans for them, and the like. Then they talked about television shows, and then films they'd seen.

"Listen, I hate to cut this short, but I need to get ready for my classes," she said. "Should I call you when I get back?"

"Sure, if you want..."

"Yeah, I want. Unless you don't - "

"No, definitely. Call me later."

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"I just don't want you to think you have to spend every minute of the weekend on the phone with me. I know we talked a lot last night, and now this morning..."

"Do you seriously think I'm get tired of you that fast? Or is this some reverse psychology thing to get rid of me?" She was smiling, but his tone confused her.

"Yeah, that's it," Jim laughed. He paused a moment. "I guess I'm just still not used to the idea that we are talking like we used to. I didn't want you to think... hell, I don't even know what I didn't want you to think. I just want to be sure you don't mind all this contact."

"Oh, Jim," she said warmly. "If you could appreciate just how much I've missed having you around to talk to, you wouldn't even consider such an idea."

He chuckled self-consciously. "Okay, fair enough. Talk to you later then."

Pam made it to her first class with plenty of time to spare. She was looking forward to being a bit creative today, and couldn't seem to keep a smile off her face. The world just seemed right to her today.

The classes were small, so the individual attention given was a bonus she hadn't expected. By four o'clock she felt that she had discovered a whole catalogue of new ideas for her artwork. The PhotoShop class had opened her eyes to a medium she'd never seriously considered before. She had always enjoyed taking photos, but now she was extremely keen on doing so for more than just holidays and birthday parties. She couldn't help but think that one of the things she'd like to attempt would be to photograph Jim. She always found him (from an artistic point of view) a compelling collection of angles. _Now that's a project I could sink my teeth into,_ she grinned. She'd have to run the idea by him later.

She was home shortly before 5pm, and was proud of herself for not immediately dialing his number as soon as she walked in the door. She was hungry and tired and thought she'd make a better "date" if she took care of these issues first. She made a quick sandwich and ate it on the way to her bedroom. She then proceeded to stretch out on her bed, intending to take a short catnap.

When she was awoken by the sound of the telephone, she looked at the clock. It was 10pm, and she was definitely late for her date.

* * *

Chapter 7

The phone rang for the fourth time and once again transferred the caller into voicemail. Jim sighed and hung up. He'd already left 3 voice mails since seven o'clock. Leaving another wasn't going to result in him finding out any sooner where she was.

He paced around his apartment anxiously. He wasn't quite sure what to do, and he felt completely useless being this far away. _Well this is a first,_ he mused._ I don't remember ever being stood up on a telephone date._

Not that it was a date, really. It was just another night he was suppose to talk to Pam. She said she'd be home after 4pm and she'd give him a call. She even assured him that she wanted to talk despite their 5 hour session last night. But it was coming up to 10pm and he hadn't heard from her. If he was trying to find some deprecating humour in the situation, it was to detract him from the fact that he was getting worried about her.

He remembered that her home phone didn't have an answering machine. He decided to give that number a try. If for some crazy reason she had her cell phone turned off, at least she'd hear this one ringing. Assuming she was home. But he had to assume that. Because the idea that she was in trouble somewhere else left him feeling slightly panicked.

He dialled her home number. It rang. And it rang. And it rang. He decided he'd let it ring until the operate cut in and told him to give up. That automated 'the party you are trying to reach is not answering' messages. He has just counted to eleven when the ringing stopped.

"Hello?" Pam sounded breathless and a bit stressed.

"Hey, what happened? Are you okay?" Jim couldn't have hid his concern if had wanted to.

"Oh, no!" Pam wailed. "I'm so sorry!"

"What? What's wrong, Pam?"

"I came home around five really, really exhausted, so I decided to have just a little nap before calling you. The phone ringing just now is what woke me up. Good lord, I can't believe I slept this long! I'm so so sorry, Jim!"

Jim was beyond relieved that her MIA status had such a simple excuse, but he couldn't resist teasing her. "Nice one, Beesly. I've been sitting here going out of my mind with worry, and you're just off getting some beauty sleep."

"Really?" she sounded suprised. "I'm sorry if I worried you."

She sounded so sincere that Jim relented a bit. "Okay, maybe not quite that bad, but I was starting to think you found a better offer and had stood me up."

"Stand up a hot date like you?" she teased back. "How crazy do you think I am?"

Jim laughed, "Certainly crazy enough."

A silence lulled between them for a moment. "Is it too late to talk?" Pam asked sheepishly.

Jim felt a flutter in his stomach at her question. Her voice held a combination of contriteness and hope. He was pleased that she was worried she might have missed a chance to talk tonight. Certainly that must be a good sign. "Yeah, I think I can manage to stay awake for a little while, unlike some people I know..."

"Great. Um, can I call you right back. I want to switch to my cell phone, and I, um - want to get a drink, change my clothes, and use the bathroom..."

"I'm not sure I needed to know all of that," Jim grinned. "I'll give you 20 minutes to call back, and if you miss your deadline this time I'm calling the cops to check on you."

When Jim hung up the phone, he grabbed another beer from the fridge and headed to the sofa. He smiled at the thought of Pam in her apartment, probably looking a bit groggy from her nap and her hair slight mussed. He tried to imagine if she was going to put on pajamas, and if so what sort they were. He wasn't sure how she'd react if he asked her that question. Most of all he wondered where all of this was going, if anywhere.

Make no mistakes about it - having Pam back in his life made him feel better than he had in months. The fact that she was now free of Roy, and clearly had become much better at acting on her wishes and desires only made it that much more exciting to him. But he still felt a bit in limbo, still nursed the fear that her declarations of missing him meant that she missed him only as her friend. He felt that since she hadn't directly mentioned that one night in May it might mean she wanted to act like it never happened. Part of him worried that he was setting himself up to be hurt all over again, while the other part felt so loyal to Pam that he couldn't believe her capable of being so cruel a second time. So much has changed since then, he thought, that I'd really be a fool not to wait it out and see where this heads. But despite how much he loved her, he was more afraid than ever to put his real feelings out on the line again. This time he knew she would have to be the first to come forward. She'd have to tell him she wanted him, and she was going to have to be pretty obvious about it. In the meantime he would enjoy this time with her, and try to give her every opportunity to tell him how she really felt.

His cell phone rang. "You're a minute late, Beesly," he grinned.

"You're stopwatch must be off, Halpert. I know for a fact that I'm at least 2 minutes early. So suck it."

"Wow – a bit touchy are we? Good to know that disrupting your nap makes you cranky."

"I'm not cranky. I'm feisty."

"Really?" Jim grinned. "Is that what they're calling it these days. In what ways are you feisty?"

Pam laughed. "Oh, I think it's something you should just come see for yourself."

"Again with this 'come visit me' stuff. The road between Scranton and Stamford runs both ways, you know."

"I know...and maybe one day I'll just turn up on your doorstep."

"That would be wonderful." Jim had replied without thinking, and now felt a little self-conscious at the intensity in which he'd said that.

"Would it?" she asked softly.

"I think you already know the answer to that question."

"Hey," she said brightly, not quite ready to go down that path just yet. "I have an idea."

"Oh no," Jim replied. He knew she was changing the topic, but what could he do? "What are you up to?"

"Well," she began, giggling just a little. "Seeing as it's already so late..."

"Yes...?"

"We should make this like a slumber party!"

Jim laughed. "A slumber party? Over the phone?"

"Yeah! Come on, Jim. It will be fun!"

"How so?" He had to smile at her enthusiasm.

"Well, first off – what are you wearing?"

"Clothes."

"Jim!"

"Pam!"

"Come on, just answer the question, Halpert. What do you have on"

"Why does this suddenly sound like an obscene phone call?" He laughed.

"Fine," she tried to sound pouty. "I was just asking a simple question. If you don't want to play - "

"Jeans and a sweatshirt," Jim interupted her.

"Better," she smiled. "I asked because if you are going to a slumber party, then you had better be in your pjs."

"I see." Jim tried pulling off his best teenage girl impression. "And then what? We sit around talking about painting each other's nails and giving each other facials? Or maybe we could crank call the cute boys we like."

"Jim, you're scaring me. You know entirely too much about slumber parties."

They laughed together for a moment. "Come on, Halpert," Pam coaxed. "Go back to your bedroom and get your pajamas on."

"Oh, alright," Jim said. "But I'm taking a few beers back there with me."

"Ooh, good idea," Pam said brightly. "I think I have some wine around here somewhere. Oh, here it is. Do you think I need a glass if I'm the only one drinking from it?"

"I think you'll be fine without one."

"Good. Are you in your bedroom yet?"

"Yes, and I'm trying to decide between the blue or the green flannel pjs."

"Definitely green. They'll bring out your eyes."

Jim bust out laughing. "Who's going to see my damn eyes?"

"Well, I guess no one," Pam replied. "But I'll know how nice they look on you."

"Okay, the green it is. But you better remember to compliment my eyes tonight."

"Duly noted."

"So Beesley," Jim mused. "Just what are you wearing?"

Pam chuckled. "I knew you'd ask."

"Well, fair is fair, " Jim argued.

"True, true. Hmm... well I'm actually torn between the yellow flannel sheep pajamas and red silk nightdress with the thong panties. Which one sounds better to you?"

Jim knew what she was doing, and knew he'd play along. But he laughed at himself all the while, because he knew that picturing her in either of those outfits would be equally arousing to him. That's just how much she had him at her mercy.

"You know, I bet you don't even own a red silk nightdress. You're just being a wanton tease."

"I do so own one!" Pam replied with mock indignation.

"Really?" Jim scoffed. "Then send me a picture of you in it."

Pam was not expecting a challenge like that. She felt her heart beating a little faster. "But... but I don't know anyone who could take such a picture."

"Yeah, yeah. Excuses. Go put your sheep pajamas on, tease."

"You know, I was going to wear the sheep ones anyway. But do so have a red nightdress." She couldn't help laughing even while she still blushed as his request for proof.

"Whatever, Beesly," he replied, sounding way more casual then he was feeling at the moment. "What's next after pjs?"

"We get in bed, of course. Ideally it would be slumber bags, but I guess our own beds will do. So get comfy."

"And don't spill your drink," Jim added helpfully.

"Definitely." She took another sip of wine from the bottle. "Nice stuff. I better not drink it too fast, though."

Jim smiled. The last time he remembered seeing her really drunk was the night of the Dundies. He had to admit that he wouldn't mind the both of them being a little drunk tonight. Just a little, he thought. Just enough to lower some insecurities.

Jim, wearing his green flannel pajamas that accented his eyes so nicely, climbed into his bed. He put the two beer bottles he brought from the kitchen on his nightstand and took a big drink out of one of them. Then he settled back, with his arms up behind his head and his cell phone cradled against his ear.

"Okay, Beesly. I'm dressed and relaxing in bed."

"Great. So am I."

"Sheep pajamas"

"Sheep pajamas."

"Now what?"

"We talk."

"Anything in particular you want to cover?"

"Well...how about we play '3 Things'?"

"You are just really adept at games, aren't you?" Jim teased. "How do you play?"

"Well, you come up with a question, and each person has to come up with 3 replies. I'll go first."

"Okay..." Jim wondered what he was letting himself in for.

"What three things drive you craziest about Michael?"

"Only three? Wow, that's going to be hard to limit." Jim laughed. "Let's see. One, his inability to speak in an indoor voice. Two, his completely irrational and groundless hatred of Toby. Three, that he puts up with Dwight. What about yours?"

"Good answers. Oh, I should mention that we can duplicate one or two of each other's answers, but not all three. So I agree with the Toby issue. I guess my second would be his need to dryclean his jeans, and finally that he asks me to look up the strangest bits of information for him. Last week he wanted me to find the cheapest place to adopt a Chinese baby from."

"Yeah, I could see how that'd get annoying fast. New question – If you could only talk to 3 people for the rest of yourself, who would they be?"

"Hmm...well, my mom, of course. And you. Oh, and Jon Stewart."

"Jon Stewart?"

"Yeah – he's awesome! He'd be so cool to talk to. I thought you liked him."

"I do – it was just a surprising answer."

"And your three?"

"Well, there's you – and notice I put you first and not SECOND on the list, and then my mother, and of course my brother, Jonathan."

"How nice to pick your family. And me."

"You're part of my family," Jim said simply.

Pam replied softly, "and you're part of mine." She waited a moment to start the next question. "Name 3 of the happiest moments of your life."

Jim felt the questions were starting to take a turn for the more intimate, and began to think that this 'slumber party' arrangement had been a good idea. Lying in the near darkness with a little bit of alcoholic reinforcement made taking this questions seriously a little easier. He felt a little braver to give answer that might shake things up between them.

"Not hard to answer this one. Being on the winning little league team back in 5th grade, graduating from college, and the day I met you."

"I didn't know you played little league," Pam mused. "I bet you looked adorable in your uniform. My three happiest moments, compliments of the wine I've been sipping are placing in a national art show in high school, finding out that my dad's tests for cancer were negative, and yesterday when I started talking to you again."

"I never knew your dad had a cancer scare," Jim said. "When was this?"

"Oh, it was before I met you. He was fine, but we lived through about a week of worrying whether he was terminally ill. So on that note, what were your 3 saddest moments of your life?"

"You know how to bring a room down, don't you?" he sighed. "Okay, but I can really only think of two incidents in my life that were totally devastating to me."

"Well, I'll let you off the hook if they are two good ones."

"Oh, they are."

"Go on then."

"The first was my grandmother dying when I was 10. I was pretty close to her and it hit me pretty hard."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Jim." Pam soothed. "That must have been so awful."

"Yeah, I still miss her."

"And your second saddest moment."

Jim took a deep breath, and despite his better judgement, decided to take just one more chance. "The night I kissed you and you still told me you were going to marry Roy."

* * *

Chapter 8 

Jim waited for Pam's response. He felt a little guilty, confessing to her how much her response had hurt him, but it was the truth. He felt she deserved to know that. Actually, he deserved the chance to make her aware of how badly that night has hurt. He had played off her second refusal so calmly at the time that perhaps she hadn't realized that he walked away from her with his heart shattered.

Nearly a minute had gone by with no response from Pam. Then he thought he heard the sound of sniffling. "Pam?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm still here," she replied. "I just don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything," Jim said. "But you did ask."

"I know," she said simply. She took a deep breath and sniffed a bit more. "Jim, I could never begin to apologize for how awful I was to you then. I was so confused and scared to think about what I wanted and what was best for everyone, and in the process I sent out so many mixed messages that I wasn't really being your friend at all. I was just very selfish. I hope you can understand that while May really wasn't that long ago, I've changed so much. I look back now and it's like someone else was inhabiting my body."

Jim couldn't resist pushing her a little further. "So what are you saying?"

"That I wish I hadn't hurt you like that. I don't ever want to hurt you again. I wish I could make it up to you somehow."

"Make it up how?"

"I don't know. Make it so you knew you could trust me again. With your feelings and everything. Really be your best friend."

"Best friend," he repeated. He was starting to feel like he had heard this conversation before, and his stomach felt tight. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything at all. He opened up the second beer on the dresser and drank as much in one shot as he could. Then he laid back, the silence still standing between them.

"Do you remember what I said to you that night?" He finally asked.

"Of course I do." Pam replied.

"What did I say?" He voice, while soft, was deadly serious.

"You...you said that you were in love with me."

"And I said I didn't want to be just friends. I wanted to be more than that."

"I remember."

Jim was silent, willing her to say something more. To say that she felt that way now, too. He wasn't going to offer again. She had to be the one this time. But she wasn't. He wanted to just hang up the phone and go to bed, still alone. He didn't see how this conversation could possibly go anywhere good at this point.

"Yeah, well," Jim sighed, not really sure what else to say.

"I think about that kiss all the time," Pam said softly. So softly Jim didn't quite believe she had actually said anything.

"I'm sorry?"

She cleared her throat and spoke again. "I said that I think about that kiss all the time. I should have just shut up and let you kiss me again like you were going to."

"Would it have changed anything?"

Pam sighed, "Probably not. But it would have been nice."

"I see," was all Jim could say.

"Do you, Jim?" she began. "I don't think you do see. If you're wanting me to say that I would have done that night differently, I don't know if I would have." She took a shaky breath and spoke quickly before he could interrupt her. "What I'm trying to say, or at least think I'm trying to say, is that if I knew then what I know now, that night would have never happened. I wouldn't have put you in a position of not knowing where you stood with me. I wouldn't have said one thing but do things that made you think I meant something else. You wouldn't have felt desperate to say something to me because I was getting married and you thought it was to the wrong person. Because I would have done it right. I would have walked away from my engagement and then told you how I felt."

Jim just laid motionless on his bed, taking in every word she had just said. "And how would you have felt?" he asked. He thought his voice sounded a bit shaky, but he didn't care. He just had to know.

He heard her laugh a little. "I guess the way I feel now." Her laughter took some of the tension out of his body. She was purposely being enigmatic, which made his heart do a funny dance inside his ribcage. Her laugh wasn't the sound of rejection.

Lying in the dark, Jim had a shy smile on his face, "..and that would be what, exactly?"

Jim was sure he heard her smiling back at him. "Well, I think you're alright," she said, suddenly shy.

"Alright? Just 'alright'?"

"I already said I wished you would have kissed me again. Do I really have to spell it out for you, Halpert?" She was trying to hid her embarrassment by being a smart ass.

Jim was not going to let this moment go. "Yeah, Beesly, I think you are going to have to spell it out for me. I'm not quite understanding."

"I-I think it might be nice to see what it's like when best friends become more than best friends." she said in in a rush, as if she didn't say it all at once she wouldn't have been able to say it at all.

"When best friends become more than best friends?" repeated Jim. "You mean like Best Friends with benefits?" He drew out each word slowly because he knew she was feeling self-conscious.

"Yes," was all she'd say.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that would involve a great deal of sex," Jim said.

Pam gave a very loud, very surprised shout. "You did NOT just say that!" And then she giggled, which took away the pinch of indignation she was going for. "Oh my god, I can't believe you just said that."

"What?" Jim asked, his voice full of mock innocence. "I was just trying to explain the ' with benefits' part."

"Shut up, Halpert."

"Hey, just trying to help."

"I said Shut up!" Then she started giggling again, which made Jim start to laugh more as well.

When the laughter died down, Jim spoke again. "So, where does that put us?"

"Do we need a tag?" Pam asked. "Can't we just consider ourselves 'together' for a while, then figure out where we are?"

"That works for me," he said warmly. "Are we allowed to date other people?"

Pam felt stricken for a moment. Then she heard his chuckle and realized he wasn't being serious. "No, absolutely not. You can't even look at another woman."

"Hey right now I can't even look at you. I should be able to look at something."

"Tough. It will just motivate you to come see me."

"Pam, I assure you that I need no extra motivation." Jim didn't think he had ever said anything more true. Lying in bed, the clock approaching midnight - everything in him said that he should drive up to Scranton right now. Now before she had a chance to change her mind about seeing what it was like to move beyond being best friends. "I want drive up and see you tonight."

Something in his voice told Pam he wasn't joking. "I would love to see you, Jim. But I think we should wait. It's already nearly Sunday and by the time you got here there wouldn't be many hours before you'd have to leave again. And I think that would be harder to bear than you not coming up at all."

"Yeah, you are probably right."

"I am, and besides, if you left now you'd be cutting out on this great slumber party!"

"Of course, how could I be so rude?"

"Now where were we?" Pam asked. "I'm just over halfway done with this wine."

Hearing Pam say that she wanted them to start being more than friends made Jim feel intoxicated. He knew he really wasn't, but he couldn't help this silly, giddy feeling that had come over him. He couldn't resist teasing her some more.

"I believe you were going to tell me about all this great sex we're going to be having."

"Jim!"

"What?"

"Don't keep saying that!" Then Pam giggled again.

"Why? Don't you think the sex will be great? Are you implying will we be just having mediocre sex?"

"We're not going to be having sex at all...at least not unless you start behaving yourself."

"I don't think behaving oneself during sex makes it as much fun," Jim mused. "But I'm willing to try it once if you want."

Pam could not quit giggling. She felt like a teenager. "You are doing this to embarrass me. Quit it, Halpert, or I'm not going to talk to you anymore."

"We could try to do it silently as well, I guess."

"I'm hanging up now!" she warned, giggles still sneaking out between her words.

"Oh, alright." Jim relented. "Spoilsport." He couldn't resist whispering, "But don't you wonder just a little, wonder what it will be like?"

Pam gave out an exasperated sound. "Of course I have, you idiot. That's why I don't want to talk about it right now."

Jim sat up and finished the last of his beer. "Wow - a confession from Pam at last. Do tell."

"I don't think so, Halpert."

"Why not?" Jim turned on his pleading voice. "Please, please, please?"

Pam laughed. "No! I'm not ready to have this conversation. Not yet."

"Okay," Jim replied, "But I hope I don't have to wait too long to hear it."

"Well, what about you? You are doing all the asking and I don't hear you offering anything yourself. Have you wondered what it might be like?"

Jim stretched out his lanky frame and turned to lay down on his left side. He tried to imagine what Pam was thinking, what answer she might be waiting for. "Have I wondered what it might be like?" He repeated her words back for dramatic effect. He tried to sound as nonchalant as he could. "Oh, only every single day for well over three years."

"Oh. my. God. You have not."

Bingo. He got the response he was hoping for, and couldn't help smiling at her mix of embarrassment and disbelief. He hoped the news thrilled her a little as well. After all, he was telling her the truth.

"Hey, you're the one who asked, Beesly."

"Fine. I redact it." They both broke down into laughter again. Pam begged, "Can we PLEASE just talk about something else right now?"

"As you wish."

"Thank you. Hey – you never told me about your Australian adventure."

Jim would have much rather gone back to their previous topic of conversation, but respected her wishes. He knew he could afford to be patient a little longer. "It was okay." He said.

"Just okay? Honestly! Speaking as someone who'd love to go someday, I'm sure it had to be better than okay. Where did you end up going?"

"Let me think. I flew into Melbourne and stayed there a few days where it rained for about half the time. Then I drove up to Alice Springs, and stayed there a few days. Ayers Rock is near there, and that was pretty impressive. I drove over to Cairns and viewed a bit of the Great Barrier Reef. Then I headed down to Sydney for the last few days. It all went pretty fast, actually."

"Wow – you drove all that? Alone?"

"Yeah, it wasn't bad actually. I had lots of time to think."

Pam thought it sounded a bit lonely. "I wish I could have gone with you."

Jim chuckled, "That's a lot of what I thought about, actually."

"So, did you pick up lots of beautiful Australian girls?" Pam wondered aloud.

Jim tried to discern her tone of voice at the question, but wasn't sure if she was teasing him or being serious. "Do you really want to know?"

Pam was silent for a moment. "Yeah, I think I do."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment."

"Pam..." Jim wished yet again that he wasn't so far away from her right now. "I can't say that I never had an opportunity, but I didn't have any interest. And yes, I met some really beautiful women. But they weren't you, you know?"

He heard Pam sniffling again. "Hey, you okay?"

She couldn't help letting a sob escape. "So what did I do so right that I got a second chance with you?"

"Hey, please don't cry. This is supposed to be a happy call." Jim wanted so much to be there to hold her.

"It is," she said, and she sobbed again.

"Oh yeah, that's completely obvious, Beesly. Remind me never to agree to a weepy conversation."

Pam laughed in spite of herself. "Suck it, Halpert."

"I'm just saying." Jim felt a little better that could comfort her without being right next to her. "Besides, one day you'll be really angry at me and then we'll see how happy you are with your second chance."

Pam laughed again, and the tears seemed to have stopped. "Hmm..." she said. "Thanks. Think you'll ever want to go back sometime?"

"I'd consider it, assuming I could find the right traveling companion."

"And what's the criteria for the right traveling companion?"

"Ooooh, very strict requirements, I can assure you, " Jim intoned as seriously as he could muster.

"Really? And where could I find this list of strict requirements?"

"Well, it's not really a list," Jim said blithely, "And there's really only one requirement."

"And that would be?" Pam pressed.

"It would have to be you."

* * *


	2. Chapter 9

Late Sunday morning sunshine streamed into Pam's bedroom window. Stirring slightly, Pam rolled over to avoid the glare. She was fighting the urge to wake up. She stretched and pulled one of her large pillows close, wrapping her arm around it like she might have done had a lover been sleeping there. Jim, she smiled sleepily. She couldn't help but wish that Jim had been there instead.

Memories of last night's conversation floated in her mind. She'd managed to finish that whole bottle of wine, but she never felt terribly drunk at any point. She had felt relaxed and happy instead. And loved. By the end of last night she certainly felt loved. They had talked yet again for hours and hours. Even when they both started yawning neither was willing to call it a night. At around 2am their conversation started to get slower, pauses between thoughts lasting longer. She remembered being lulled by just the sound of his breathing.

"I guess I should hang up the phone now," she had said.

"Hmmm..." Jim had replied. "I guess so."

But she didn't hang up the phone, and a moment later Pam had added "It's just that...well...it sounds silly, I know, but I don't want to hang up. I just like knowing you're here. Even when we aren't talking I feel like you're with me. When I hang up you'll be gone."

"Then let's not hang up," Jim had suggested. "Just go to sleep, Pam. I'll still be here."

So they agreed to settle down and shut their eyes. There was still an occassional comment, or a giggle, or a sigh. She thought she had said "Good night, my love," as she finally drifted off, but maybe she'd had just dreamed it. She kind of hoped she had said it. Because she knew at this point that he was her love. He had been for a long time. It was time to not only acknowledge it, but to enjoy it.

She's not sure she'd know how to describe the start of their relationship had anyone asked. It certainly wouldn't sound romantic to an outsider. And although they'd only started talking again a mere three days ago, this couldn't seriously be described as a 'whirlwind' romance. No, she felt quite strongly that they had earned their right to be together at this point. 

Had she really told him she wanted to be more than friends? She felt a rush of excitement just thinking about it, especially given Jim's subsequent teasing. Her heart flip-flopped just thinking about his comments on 'all the great sex' they would be having. When she tried to imagine making love to Jim, she could feel herself blushing scarlet, as if she'd never been with anyone before.

But this wasn't just anyone, it was Jim. And to think about their relationship moving in that direction was thrilling and slightly scary. Sure, she'd had sex before. She'd been with Roy for nine years after all. But she was so close to Jim emotionally that moving to a physical relationship made her feel like she'd be removing the very last barrier between them. What would it be like to be so completely vulnerable to him? She knew she could trust him with her life; it looked like she was about to trust him with her heart and soul as well. 

At least she had some time to get used to the idea. He was going to be in Philadelphia for just about all of the coming week, so she expected there wouldn't be any marathon phone dates until next weekend at the earliest. His visit up to Scranton wasn't supposed to be until the weekend of October 20th. She suddenly realized something very exciting - the 20th was Jim's birthday! She couldn't believe that they'd set that day and neither she remembered nor did he mention it. What a birthday that's going to be, she smiled.

With thoughts of all the things she was going to plan for that weekend for Jim, she got out of bed and went to the kitchen to start boiling water for her morning tea. She looked out her kitchen window and thought it looked like a perfect early autumn day. She knew Jim would be leaving for Philly sometime in the afternoon, so it would be a good day to do something alone, preferably something creative. When the water boiled, she filled her teapot to seep and went back to her bedroom to find her phone. It was under one of her pillows, with the power light indicating that a charge would be seriously appreciated.

She looked in her closet for something to wear, and in doing so caught a reflection of herself. After last night's interaction she decided that her sheep pajamas were now her favourite clothes, and closed the closet door. It was Sunday; who said she couldn't stay in her pajamas? She grabbed a scrunchie from her dresser and pulled her hair back into a ponytail, not even bothering to brush it. 

She finished making her tea, found her sketchbook and pencils, and decided to enjoy the little that was left of the morning by sitting out on her porch. Pam was renting the corner unit on a row of 4 apartments. The building was made of brick, and each unit had its own little front porch. It was only big enough to hold two patio chairs, or one chair and a table. But it was certainly big enough for Pam to enjoy it. She decided to sit on the top step so she could rest the sketch book on her lap. She put her tea on one side of her, and her pencils on the other. From her position she could see down the hill, and even catch a glimpse of Lake Scranton. 

Even though she couldn't see it, Pam decided to sketch the stone bridge that ran across the narrower end of the lake. It used to be part of the dam structure, and the chunky coarseness of the stonework always was fun for her to draw and shade. She sat there for nearly a half an hour, finishing her tea and getting lost in the detail of her sketch. She barely noticed when her neighbor stepped out to get his Sunday paper, or the cars that would drive past now and then.

She didn't even notice the burgundy Toyota that had pulled up along the curb just a few feet away from the apartment block. She didn't look up when the driver of the Toyota got out, shut his door and started to approach her. It was only when his shadow blocked her sunlight did she look up to see what had happened. And then the look on her face was priceless.

"Hey," a familiar voice greeted her. Jim Halpert stood at the base of her concrete entrance steps, looking unbelievably fantastic in a pair of brown cordoroy jeans and a forest green sweater, a bit of his white oxford buttondown peeping at the collar.

"What are you doing here!" She immediately put her work down, but she stayed rooted to her spot on the stairs.

He couldn't help but grin at her, looking like she'd just rolled out of bed. "I just thought I'd stop over and say hello."

"From Stamford! Jim, I thought you had to drive to Philly today." Pam just continued to stare at him, unwilling or unable to comprehend the fact that he was standing there in front of her.

"I do. I just took a small detour first." He gave her another smile and held her stare.

The look in his eyes told her that he was waiting for a signal that it was okay with her that he'd come. She shook off her intial shock and stood up. Because of the two step advantage she had, her face came right up to his. 

"Oh my god," she whispered. "Come here."

Jim didn't need any more coaxing. They both leaned forward, wrapping their arms around each other like they never planned on letting go. "I am so happy to see you," Jim said, his voice overflowing with emotion.

Pam leaned back just a little to look at him. She wore a small smile, and when she saw his eyes were filled with tears, she moved her hands from his waist to the sides of his face. She stroked his cheek softly with her left hand. "You have no idea," she replied. Then she leaned forward and gave him the kiss she had been waiting for months to deliver.

It's uncertain how long Pam and Jim would have been content to stay there, standing on her front porch steps and kissing each other like their very lives depended on it. But a honking horn and a group of teenage boys shouting "Get a room!" as they drove by was enough to make them stop, look at the car, then at each other, and being to start laughing.

"I guess we better go inside," Pam said ruefully. Jim nodded, still laughing. Pam grabbed her sketchbook and pencils with one hand and picked up her empty tea mug with the other. "Come on," she encouraged. 

Jim held the door for her, and then followed her in. Depositing her things on the kitchen counter, she turned back toward him. "Ta da," she said, opening her arms wide. "Welcome to my apartment. It's not very big, and it's not very tidy but that last part is on your head because I wasn't expecting guests."

Jim smiled and looked around, "It looks great. Can I sign up for the full tour?"

"Well, that should take all of five minutes," she grinned. "You are standing in the living room, and I am standing in the kitchen. Somewhere between you and me I suspect is the dining room, but as you can see it's all pretty much one big space. Or one small space."

"I don't think it's small," Jim said. "I'm pretty sure my place is smaller."

"Okay, the tour continues down this bit of strip they like to call a hallway. Here to the left is the bathroom, and to the right is my bedroom. The door next to the bathroom at the end of the hallway leads to the laundry room and storage."

"Wow - I wish I had my own laundry room," Jim admired, as he peeked inside the room. "I have to take my stuff downstairs to the community room."

Pam was standing with her back against the end of the hallway. "Well, that's it for the tour. The gift shop is right up front, on your way out. Thanks and enjoy the rest of your day."

Jim closed the laundry room door and leaned back against the frame. "That's it? What about the bedroom tour?" he smiled.

"I just pointed out the bedroom, weren't you paying attention?"

"Hey, I thought I paid for more than just a brief glimpse from the doorway. As I recall you spent quite a long time in my bedroom on your tour."

She smacked him in the chest with the back of her hand and she walked passed him. "Fine, but it's going to cost you extra." She pushed her bedroom door fully open, and headed to her bed to try straighten out the sheets.

"Pam... don't you make your own bed when you get up?" Jim gave her a look of disapproval. "I really didn't expect that you'd be such a slob."

"Hey - " she said, sticking out her tongue at him, "nobody told you to just drop by unannounced. I didn't get out of bed until nearly noon."

Jim walked closer to the bed, now standing opposite her. "Must be nice," he mused. "I've been awake since sometime after 8am."

"Oh, quit whining and help me make this bed," she said, giving him just a little smile when she looked up at him. He acquiesced, but as soon as they were finished he sat down on her bed, his back against the headboard and his long legs stretched out in front of him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Pam asked him, unable to keep a smirk off her face.

Jim put his hands behind his head. "Just checking out the comfort level."

"Really?"

"Yeah. This is pretty nice. I could get used to it." 

"Oh, I'm so glad you approve." She walked around to his side of the bed. She grabbed his wrist and started to pull on his arm. "Now get off my bed." 

Pam had walked right into his trap. As she tried to pull him off her bed, he leaned over,  
grabbed her by the waist and quite easily dragged her across his lap and onto the other side of her bed. "Jim!" she yelled.

He leaned over her, moving his hands up to her arms to keep her from getting off the bed. "What?" 

The way he smiled over her made her suddenly feel weak. "What are you doing?" She tried to sound angry but she failed miserably. 

"I'm just trying to recreate our slumber party from last night," he replied. He scooted down until he was lying down, a small strip of bed still separating them. He was pleased to note that when he released her arms she didn't move off the bed.

Pam couldn't help but smile and rolled on her right side to face him. "..and for what reason?" 

Jim made his hurt face. "Just because! Is it too much to believe that I just want to get a feeling for the room? This way I can imagine where you are the next time we have another one." She just looked at him, a bit uncertain. "And," Jim continued,  
leaning in to her, "I can't tell you how many times I've wondered what it would be like to kiss you on your bed."

Jim brought his arm up and around her waist, pulling Pam closer to him as he moved in to kiss her. Pam felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest, her hand moving up the front of his sweater. She felt the soft material under her fingers,  
and closed her hand around it. Almost instinctively she pulled him closer to her.

Pam felt like the room was spinning when her lips touched Jim's. She was relieved she was lying down, because she'd never in her life had a kiss like this, and was pretty sure she would have fainted if she had been upright. He felt so warm, and his lips were softer than she expected. Contrasting to his soft lips was the feeling of his cheek brushing against hers. The trace of stubble she felt tingled, and she could still feel it against her skin even when he turned his head to focus on kissing her neck. She closed her eyes and moved her hands around to his back, feeling the combination of muscle and bone that reminded her that while he might be on the thin side, there was plenty of strength underneath. She turned her face back towards his and captured his lips with hers again, quite certain that she would never be able to kiss him enough.

A few minutes later Jim pulled back to look at Pam. Her lips swollen, her cheeks and nose a shade of red from his stubble. He had never seen her look more beautiful.  
He reached to touch her face, tracing her lips with his right thumb. 

"Hey," he said softly, giving her a broad smile.

She smiled, turning her head so she could kiss his palm. "Hey."

"I hope that was okay." His eyes never left hers.

"Yeah," she replied, "It was more than okay."

"Good," he said tenderly. "I know I've been giving you a hard time, but I don't want to move any faster than you're ready for." Jim then smirked. "I mean, I've been waiting for you since forever already."

She couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, you have, haven't you?" She reached out and mirrored his action by touching his face. "I'm sorry for that."

Jim put his finger over her lips. "No. No more 'sorries', okay? We're starting fresh today."

Pam just nodded. She didn't trust herself not to start crying if she said something.  
As if he sensed it, Jim tried to lighten the mood. "So if this is our first day,  
it might be a good idea to introduce ourselves. Hi, I'm Jim Halpert. I've heard so much about you."

Pam rolled on her back, shaking from the laughter that was bubbling out of her. She looked over at him, tears trailing down the side of her face. She put her hand out to him. "Hi, I'm Pam Beesly," she managed to squeak, "I'm really glad to meet you."

Jim smiled even wider and reached over, rolling her back toward him. He enveloped her in a huge bear hug, kissing the top of her head. 

Pam sighed, and snuggled against him. "I wish we could just stay like this forever." 

Jim chuckled. "I'll see what I can do," he replied, squeezing her closer.

They stayed cuddled up on Pam's bed for nearly an hour, kissing and laughing and generally trying to get used to the idea that this was all really happening. 

"So it's okay that I suprised you by showing up?"

"Yeah, but better you surprised me than told me you were driving up. I would have been a nervous wreck for 3 hours."

"Why?" Jim sounded genuinely perplexed.

"Because this is such a Big Thing, this, this..."us". Part of me is terrified I'm going to ruin it somehow."

He pulled her closer, "Never. I have no doubts we'll have our moments, but I'm not planning on going anywhere, no matter how hard you try to get rid of me."

"Well, I'm sure I'll try my best," Pam grinned. 

Jim kissed her again, then said, "I have something very important to ask you."

Pam looked momemtarily worried, so Jim quickly added, "Are you hungry?"

She laughed. "Yes, that was a very important question. And I certainly wouldn't turn down food at this point." She reluctantly sat up. "Did you want to go out and get something to eat?"

"I'd rather not. Isn't there someplace that can deliver?"

So they went into the kitchen to look through Pam's folder of local menus. In the end they decided that their first meal together would be the accepted food of the gods: Pizza with mushrooms and extra cheese. Pam wanted to wait out on the porch for the delivery guy. Jim estimated that they'd have about 40 minutes to wait and instead convinced Pam to wait inside on the couch. 

"I'd really rather not be shouted at again to get a room," he joked, and pulled her down onto the couch with him. What started as side by side kissing slowly moved into semi-reclined kissing. By the time the Pizza Guy knocked on Pam's front door, Pam was practically laying on top of Jim. She knew she looked guilty when she opened the door, and Jim wasn't much help, still half-lying down on the couch and smiling inanely at the delivery guy. In her embarrassment she tipped the guy an extra $10, hoping he wouldn't go back and gossip to the store employees about the little tableau he had walked in on.

"Nice one, Halpert," she said, shutting the front door and heading for the pizza.

"What?" Jim asked, finally getting off the couch to join her in the kitchen.

"Do you think you could have made it a little more obvious as to what the guy was walking in on?"

Jim grabbed a slice of pizza and started to eat. "Who cares what he thought?"

"Well, I do!"

"Why?"

"I don't know - I just do!"

Jim leaned over and kissed her neck, leaving a little pizza sauce behind. "Don't worry,  
next time he can interupt us having sex on the living room floor, and that will make him forget all about what he saw today."

Pam just shook her head, grabbed her pizza and sat back on the couch. "You are unbelievable," she said, shaking her head. "I can't believe I have known you all this time and never realized what a deeply sick and perverted man you are."

Jim laughed and joined her on the couch, sitting much closer to Pam than he needed to.  
"See, that's the beauty of this relationship, Beesly. We've been around each other for years, and yet only now will you get to discover the real Jim Halpert."

She gave him a long look. "What if I want the old, fake one back? I'm starting to think there are things I really don't need to know about you."

"Too late," Jim replied joyfully, biting into his pizza. "You're so stuck with me now."

Pam sighed, doing her best martyr impression. "It would seem that way."

Several slices of pizza later, Pam felt stuffed, so she grabbed on her big throw pillows and attempted to make herself comfortable on the floor. She tried a a few positions until settling on putting the pillow under her head and laying on her back.

"What time do you have to leave for Philadelphia?" she asked.

Jim had been cleaning up the pizza plates and boxes in the kitchen. He made a displeased face. "I should probably leave around 4pm. I think they're expecting me to go out to dinner with them." He came back into the living room, grabbed the other big pillow off the couch and sat next to Pam on the floor. "Do you want me to tell them I can't get there until tomorrow?"

She knew from the look on his face what he was really asking. She reached out for his hand, and rested it on her stomach between her own two hands. "I think you should probably keep your plans," she said. "I'm not sure I'm quite ready for a real, in-person slumber party just yet."

Jim nodded and lay down on the floor next to Pam. She moved so that she could rest her head on his chest, wrapping her arm possessively across his waist. He brought his arm underneath her and held her close against his side. She didn't look at him, because she was sure she's disappointment in his eyes. "You know that I want you to stay," she finally said.

He stroked her arm. "Yeah, I know," he replied. "It's okay."

"I just need to get used to idea. Things have changed so much since last Sunday at this time."

"I'd say you got that right." He smirked. He moved over a bit so he could look into her eyes. "Pam, it's fine. I mentioned it because I just wanted to stay the night - to see if sleeping next to you is wonderful as I imagine it woud be. But I can understand you feeling it might not be wise."

She didn't know exactly what to say. It hadn't occurred to her that Jim was suggesting just staying to sleep over. She felt her heart melt a little bit. How very much like him to place so much value on something romantic like that. 

"Let me think about it," was all she could say. 

She could feel Jim nod. She sat up and grabbed the television remote. She handed it to Jim and then laid back down to snuggle up against him. Whether he left or stayed, she wanted to be close to him for as much time as she could. 

Jim turned on some old bad science fiction film from the 1960s, and their attention wavered between mocking the film to being completely engrossed in each other. At one point while watching the film, Pam became very aware of the fact that Jim's hand had moved from resting on her hip to hoving at the waistband of her pajama bottoms. She glanced up at his face, but his eyes didn't move from the screen. She said nothing, wondering what he was up to. She felt his fingers toying with the hem of her t-shirt, and soon she realised his fingers had slid just a bit under her shirt, gently stroking the soft skin of her stomach. she drew a deep breath in, unbelievably aroused by such a small action. 

"What are you doing?" she asked him. She didn't look up at him, because she was certain that if he looked into her eyes she wouldn't stand a chance. 

"I'm sorry," Jim apologised. "Is that bothering you?" 

She looked up at him anyway, expecting to find him giving her a teasing look. Instead he looked serious and a bit concerned.

She couldn't help but smile. "It's making me crazy," she confessed. "Can you save that trick for another time?"

He tilted her chin up and kissed her gently. "Sure." She laid her head back down on his chest, not knowing if she was relieved or slightly disappointed that he had done as she asked. She decided it was better not to think about it.

For both Pam and Jim the afternoon passed by in a blur. By the time the film had ended it was already 3:30pm, and Jim was starting to think about getting back on the road.  
When he excused himself to use her bathroom, Pam wandered over to the kitchen counter and plopped herself on one of the stools. It has been the best afternoon she could remember having in ages, and it was all because she was with Jim. Even if you took all the kissing stuff out, she had felt so good just to be with him again. Doing stupid everyday stuff like ordering pizza and watching bad television. Add all that kissing stuff back in, and she wasn't sure how she was going to let him walk out that door.

When Jim came back out to the living room, she walked over to him silently and just wrapped her arms around him. He immediately responded by pulling her close to him and resting his head on top of hers. They didn't say anything at all. They didn't need to. This was the reason she told him last night not to come. She knew it was going to kill her to watch him walk out that door. It was so much easier to be separated when you don't know what you're missing.

"Well," Jim said, stepping back from their embrace.

"Yep," Pam replied. "I guess you better get moving."

He touched her face to make her look up at him. "I don't have to go, you know."

She nodded. "I know. But you promised your friends. You should go. We'll see each other again soon."

He nodded. "The weekend of the 20th, right?"

She remembered her earlier thought. "Why didn't you remind me that was your birthday?"

"Oh right. It is, isn't it?" He smiled a bit sheepishly. "Would you believe I hadn't really associated the two?"

She laughed. Somehow she could believe it. "Well, we'll make sure it's a memorable birthday weekend." She thought for a minute. "and, well - maybe we could work something out for the weekend prior to that. I have my classes on Saturday but if you drove up here we'd have most of the weekend together."

Jim nodded. "That sounds great."

They walked to the front door. Pam was about to open the door when Jim put his hand on her arm. She looked up and they stood for a moment staring at each other wordlessly.  
He leaned down and she quickly met his lips for another kiss. It was several minutes before Pam had the opportunity to try to open the door again.

"Right," Jim nodded. "Time for me to go." He walked out first and she followed slowly behind. She stood at the side of his car as he go in. He put on his seat belt, rolled down his car window and tried to smile up at her. 

"I'll call you when I get there," he promised. She leaned in and kissed him one more time. "You better," she said. 

She walked back up to her porch and waved while she watched him pull away. She was happy that she made it inside the house before breaking down in tears. She couldn't believe how much it hurt to watch him drive away, even if was a few weeks until she would be with him again. 

She stood in the kitchen and continued to cry for nearly ten minutes. Through her tears she saw her cell phone sitting on the counter. She stared at it intently, as if she was willing it to ring. Finally she snatched it up, flipped it open and pressed her favourite speed-dial number.

She listed to it ring twice, and then it picked. "Please come back," she said. 


	3. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

He knew it was her when his phone rang. He had been willing her to call him from the minute he watched her walk back into her apartment. It tore him apart to drive away. The last thing he wanted to do was drive to Philadelphia - not when everything that matter to him was in Scranton. He knew even before she spoke that she was crying, and when she spoke the three words he had been hoping to hear, please come back, he replied with four. I'll be right there.

When he arrived back at her apartment he didn't even knock. He just pushed the door open, his overnight bag on his shoulder. Pam was sitting at the kitchen counter, with her head in her hands. She turned around to look when she heard him enter. She wiped the tears off her cheeks with her palms and gave him the most pathetic smile he'd ever seen. He put down his bag and immediately strode across the room to her side. Embracing her in a hug, he first tried to cheer her up. "Well, that was quick trip."

Unfortunately his attempt at making her feel better resulted in fresh tears. "It's okay, I'm back." She didn't say anything, which started to concern him. "Hey, Pam, what's the matter?"

"I don't know. I'm an idiot," she replied, hiding her face in his sweater.

He pulled back and lifted her chin up. "Look at me. I've worked with Dwight for six years, so I'm an expert on idiots. You," he kissed her on the nose," are no idiot. Now could you please tell me why you are crying?"

Pam finally looked up at him. "Because I can't make a single decision and stick with it? First I'm content to say 'sure, go be with your friends' and then the minute you accept my decision I melt down and then it's suddenly 'no, come back!' What the hell is that about?"

He smiled as he began to gently rub her back. "It's fine. You know I didn't want to leave anyway. Besides, this has been a pretty emotional weekend for both of us, wouldn't you say?"

She nodded. Her tears had stopped, but she still looked forlorn. Jim was determined to cheer her up. He took her hands and pulled her out of her chair. "Come on, let's go lie down," he said pulling her toward her bedroom. She hesitated, a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. "Just let me hold you," he added.

Jim sat on the bed first, moving backward to make room for Pam. He offered her his hand and she squeezed it tightly. She laid down next to him, as they carefully wrapped their arms around each other. His hand reached up and gently brushed back the hair that was falling in front of her face.

"Do you know how much it means to me that you called and asked me to come back?" he asked tenderly. "I mean, do you know what that tells me?"

She looked over at him. "That I'm unstable?"

He chuckled and kissed her temple. "Well yeah, but I knew that anyway."

She couldn't help but smile and looked back up at him self-consciously. "So what does it tell you, Halpert?"

"It tells me things have really changed, Pam." he replied, leaning in so his quiet tone would be heard. "The last time I walked away, you didn't stop me. This time you did."

She looked up and found his face so near hers that she could feel his breath on her cheek. She looked into his eyes - those gorgeous, expressive green eyes, and wondered how in the world she could have ever let him walk away that first time.

"I'm just overwhelmed, I think." She finally said. "This is all happening so fast, so dramatically, and watching you leave just kinda brought into focus the enormity of how much things have changed. How they will continue to change. Believe it or not, these are the happy tears. You should have seen the sad ones."

Jim's finger traced the moist path a tear had recently made. "I would be satisfied to never see tears of any kind from you again, Beesly."

"I could say the same thing of you. I've already seen a lifetime's quota of your tears."

"Are you casting aspersions on my masculinity?"

"I'm just saying you cry." She smiled saucily up at him. "Like a girl."

Jim suddenly lunged over her, pining her body under his. "That was completely inappropriate, Beesly. I demand satisfaction."

She looked up at him like he had suddenly come unhinged.

"Tickle time!" he cried, and commenced by grabbing Pam's sides.

"Jim, no!" she screamed. Well, giggle-screamed. And despite her protest she immediately began retaliating, trying to find his most ticklish spots. Despite her best efforts it became clear that he was winning. "Wait, stop! Time out!" she cried.

"Sorry, Beesly, no time outs." he laughed.

She tried to sit up, "No, seriously, Jim." Her tone made him wonder if she was mad at him, so he stopped.

"I want to file a protest with the commissioner," she continued. "We are currently quite unevenly matched."

"In what way?"

"Well look at you, then look at me. You've got corduroy jeans, a shirt, AND a sweater on. I've got pajamas. You clearly have the advantage in that I can't even get close to your skin. No wonder you aren't ticklish - you're hiding under protective layers!"

Jim sat up, pulled his sweater up over his head, and threw it on the floor. "Better?" he asked.

She cast a critical eye over him, certainly enjoying the view but feigning cool indifference. She leaned over and pulled his shirt out from his trousers. Now there was access to under his shirt, much as he had been attempting to do with her. "Fine, now we're even," she declared, immediately taking the offense and pushing him back onto his pillow.

Jim was feeling too competitive to let her get the advantage, and the wrestling and tickling continued full force. He knew it was completely juvenile, but something about Pam always seemed to draw out his need to play. Besides, who's he to to pass up a chance to be so close, to touch her? A part of him remembered that he's allowed to do that now - she's actually encouraged him to do it - but old habits die hard. And he still couldn't see a point in the future where he would take his ability to be close to her for granted.

While Pam's insistence on leveling the playing field meant she now was disproving his claim that he wasn't ticklish, it did come with other problems. Without his sweater on, Pam could feel his body that much better with each touch. And it was damn unnerving. She was managing to find ways to sneak up his shirt to tickle him, and once she succeeding in doing so, Jim demanded equal concession to do the same to her. She refused his request but he started doing it anyway. She was just glad she always wore a sports bra under her pajamas.

After several rounds of play with no apparent winner, they drew a temporary truce to lie back and catch their breath. Pam eventually propped herself up on her elbow so she could look at Jim. She noticed that sometime during their rough housing the second button of Jim's oxford shirt must have come undone. She investigated his shirt, and was somewhat surprised by what she found.

"Well what is this I see?" she gently tugged at the chest hairs that were peeking out of his open collar.

"Hey - careful, Beesly."

"Jim Halpert has chest hair?" She moved closer, pulling down on his shirt to look closer. "I have got to see this."

Jim put a hand up to his neck. "Do you mind? You can't just paw me like you own me."

"Sure I can," she grinned, pushing his hand away and starting to undo the next button. "You got more hiding in here?"

Jim let out an exaggerated sigh. "I'm so tired of you treating me like a sex object."

"Oh shush," she focused on undoing the last few buttons on his shirt. When she had finished she brushed it open with her fingers, and rubbed her hands across his chest.

"So when am I going to get this same priviledge with you?" Jim complained, a twinkle in his eye.

"When I get chest hair," she responded, enjoying the feeling of his chest under her fingertips. "Why didn't I know this about you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just never managed to work it into the conversation. Does it really matter?"

"Uh-huh," she murmured. "Had I known of this before, it would have changed everything." Before he had a chance to challenge that absurd statement, Pam lowered her head and began to press kisses onto his chest. He decided his comments could wait, and closed his eyes to enjoy this new feeling. She left a trail of soft kisses from one side of his chest to another, and then worked back across a row lower. Every time he felt her lips on his skin it was as if a little jolt of electricity had run through him. When she reached his nipples she gave a him a little bite within her kiss. It caused him to shift a bit, but he felt incapable of saying anything. His hands slipped up into her hair, and tugged the pony tail band out. Her hair spilled over his forearms, chest and stomach. The simple sensation of her hair brushing against him so intimately made him feel a bit weak, and he said her name softly.

Gratified that her touch affected him so much, Pam continued to kiss his chest, slowly working her way down his belly, and traced the line of hair down to his waistband with her lips. Jim involuntarily took a deep breath, because for a moment he was so aroused by her kisses that he forgot to breathe. He was deeply aware of his desire for her, and his erection just inches from her face made it pretty obvious to her as well, even through the heavy corduroy. She glanced up at him, a hint of a playful smile on her lips.

"Pam...?" A question, a caress, a warning, a plea.

She pulled back, glacing with appreciation at the body she was enjoying so much. She crawled back up towards his pillow, and kissed his neck.

"Hmmm...?" she purred.

Jim opened his eyes, his face flushed. "If you were planning on taking our relationship slow, this isn't exactly the route I would have suggested."

She smiled. "I know. But it's entirely your own fault. I had no idea you were so damn sexy."

His laugh was husky. "Yeah, I get that reaction a lot."

Her response was to slide her right hand slowly back down his chest, hesitating at his waistband while she watched his face for a reaction. His eyes met hers and never wavered, as if he was daring her to go on. She continued to meet his gaze while she moved her hand lower. She felt him jump just at the pressure of her hand through the material. She kept her hand there, starting to move it against him. She continue to look at him, trying to read the expression behind his eyes. She noticed that his breathing was a little shallower.

"You don't play fair at all," he said.

She was teasing him and she wasn't about to stop. She was enjoying this too much. She leaned in closer, her lips mere inches from his. "You want me to stop?"

He closed his eyes and ever-so-slightly shook his head. "Don't you dare," he whispered as he pulled her head down to kiss her. His kisses increased in their urgency as she unbuttoned his trousers and slowly pulled the zipper down.

Her heart was racing, a little bit of nervousness wrapped up in a dizzying amount of excitement. She wasn't sure which one of them had moaned when she slipped her hand into his pants and wrapped her hand around his stiff penis. He shifted his hips, and eased his corduroys down a bit as she freed him from his boxers.

She place gentle kisses along his jaw as she wrapped her hand around his warm, hard penis. Jim groaned and pushed his hips up to meet her touch. She smiled and kept kissing his face. "Pam..." he said again.

"Shh...Let me make you feel good."

She was actually quite skilled in this area. Her past relationship with Roy had started in high school and she had lost count of the number of times he'd asked her to do this in the car as they sat in her parents' driveway after a date. Even when she was having sex with Roy he often asked her to masterbate him if they were out somewhere and he wanted a quick release. Toward the end, when having sex with him was something she just couldn't bear to go through with, she would do this as a way to keep him from pestering her for more. With her mind focused on other things, or other people, it was the equivalent of a sexual chore to her.

But not this time. This time, kissing him, watching his chest rise and fall as his breathing quickened, and concentrating on the fact that the man in her hands was Jim, Pam thought she was easily as turned on as Jim obviously was. She never appreciated before how hot such a simple act to could be, if you were with the right person.

His hips pushed against her hand as she maintained a firm friction, paying attention to keeping her fingertips stroking the underside of his penis, particularly just below the head. She knew she was hitting the right spot as his hips started to rock a little faster, a little harder.

She continued to match his rhythm as she started to kiss his mouth, opening his mouth with her tongue. She could feel that he has brought his hands up into her hair and was pulling her mouth harder down onto his. Her tongue ran along the inside of his mouth. When she pulled her tongue back, he began to lick and suck on her lower lip. She captured his tongue in her mouth, and began sucking on it in accompaniment to the movement of his hips and her hand tight around him.

It wasn't very long before she felt his body tensing up, his hands pressing hard into her back. A deep sound, somewhere lost between a cry and a whimper escaped him as she felt his penis pulsing hot against her hand. Within moments her hand felt warm and wet, and she could hear his ragged breath. She kissed his lips softly, moving to kiss his cheeks, his nose, his still closed eyelids. Then she laid her head down on his chest and wrapped her newly freed arm around his waist, possessively claiming him as her own.

They laid together in the quiet room for several minutes. Jim wasn't sure he ws capable of speaking immediately. He had imagined such a situation with Pam only in his fantasies, and to say anything was to risk waking up from the dream. The longer they stayed wrapped up in each other, the more it slowly seemed real to him. He finally cleared his throat, and Pam lifted her head to look at him. The love he saw in her eyes was unmistakable; he hoped she was able to see what he was feeling as easily in his.

He felt a small smile coming on. "Thank you," he said simply.

"Anytime," she smiled back. "I hope that was okay."

Jim swallowed hard. "Okay?" His voice actually cracked slightly, much to his chagrin. "Yeah...yeah. That was, well...Wow. Definitely more than okay." He still hadn't quite recovered enough to speak clearly.

She grinned at his inability to form a coherent sentence. "So you think you'll keep me?"

"Oh, hell yes," he immediately replied, tightening his arms around her. She put her head back down onto his chest and savored the moment of intimacy between them. He eventually nudged her and she sat up.

Jim sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Did you want to get cleaned up?"

Her hand was mostly dry by this point; she'd wiped it absentmindedly on her pajama bottoms earlier. She didn't care, though. "No, I'm fine, thanks."

He seemed surprised. "Um, really?"

She cuddled back up to him. "Yeah," she sais slowly, "Why?"

"I, I... well I thought it was the usual thing to do afterwards."

"Oh, so you've been a party to things like this before?"

"Well, you know - I like to read a lot." She could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Yeah right, your only knowledge of such things is based on repeated readings of the The Joy of Sex, hmm?"

"...and how else would I know?"

She pulled herself up onto her elbows to look at his face. "You're right, I really don't want to know." She leaned in closer, as if she was about to reveal a very important secret. "Here's the thing, Halpert," she said in a fake whisper. "It's not toxic waste. It's you. I think I can deal with it."

"Who are you? And what have you done with Pam Beesly?"

She giggled. "Hey, you said I was going to experience a whole new Jim Halpert. Maybe you need to brace yourself for a new and improved Pam Beesly."

He stroked her shoulder. "I didn't have many complaints about the old one, but I'm certainly open to this new model. Pam 2.0."

They both moved forward for a kiss, with Jim wrapping his arms around Pam and guiding her on to her back. As he moved closer, pressing against her, she cupped his face with her hands, and pulled back to look into his eyes. Again. He smiled tenderly down at her, and kissed her.

"Can you do me a favor?" she asked.

"Anything."

"Can you please pull your pants back up?"

He laughed at her politeness, then blushed a bit, but soon complied.

"Thanks. It was more than a little distracting."

He kissed her on the neck. "I thought that was the point."

"I'm not sure I'm I can take any more distraction right now." Her voice sounded alittle shaken.

He stopped nuzzling her neck and gave her a concerned look. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm just not ready to dive into everything tonight. If you know what I mean."

"Shh - it's not an issue. I just wanted to do something nice for you now."

Jim had sounded so heartbreakingly sincere and disappointed that Pam couldn't help but giggle. "You don't really believe I did all that just for your pleasure, did you?"

He tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow at her. "I'm pretty sure I was the one who had the most fun."

She giggled again, "Don't be so sure about that, Halpert. It's not only about orgasms, you know."

"Really? I look forward to this enlightenment." He grinned and placed a kiss on her shoulder. "And in the meantime please feel free to use me mercilessly for your own pleasure."

"Oh, I intend to."

When they finally managed to drag themselves out of the bedroom, the sun had already dipped below the tree line. Pam stood in the kitchen, peering into pizza boxes.

"You want some more pizza?" she asked.

He made a face that clearly declined the offer. "Let's go out."

"I thought you didn't want to go out to eat?"

"Yeah, well, I got what I came for," he leered at her, "No sense in not going out."

"Typical." Pam rolled her eyes. "Well don't be surprised when I order the most expensive thing on the menu."

Jim came up behind her and put his arms around her. "Sure," he replied, kissing the nape of her neck through her hair. "But if you order dessert I shall take that as my cue to demand a repeat of this afternoon when we get back here."

She elbowed him in the stomach and made a move towards the bathroom. "Pervert."

"Me?" Jim looked shocked. "Looked in a mirror lately, Beesly?"

She turned back. "Shut it, Halpert," she stuck out her tongue. "I'm going to get dressed so we can go out and spend your money."

When she shut the bathroom door, Jim was still standing there with a delighted grin on his face.


	4. Chapter 11

It took a moment for Jim's eyes to adjust to the darkness. He could hear the sound of Pam's steady breathing. He could feel the warmth of her body, especially where her leg rested against his. When he looked over at her face, he thought he could just make out the curve of her lips. Lips he had spent the better part of last night kissing. 

He smiled at the memory, fighting the urge to kiss her again. He knew he should just let her sleep. He glanced over her shoulder at the dresser next to the bed. It was 4:37am. He knew that soon the morning would come, and this time he really would have to go.

His eyes were starting to focus on things in the room. Pam's bedroom. He had been slightly surprised when he originally saw the colors in this room. Her bedspread and curtains were a patchwork of gold, burgundy, forest green, and indigo. He would have expected a more pastel flower pattern. But then again, that was the Pam he used to know. The one lying next to him now, well she had already surprised him multiple times over the last few days. He felt like he was going to be spending a good amount of time finding out all these new facets of her life and personality. But he was more than ready to learn.

He stretched out and rested his arms behind his head. He noticed Pam's dress folded over the back of her dressing chair. When Pam had gotten out of the shower last night, she came out dressed in nothing but a towel. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world. She had asked where they were going to go for dinner so she would know what to wear. Without a thought he had replied "Steinman's" and watched her light up in delight.

Steinman's was one of Scranton's best restaurants. It was arguably THE best. It was the kind of place where you knew to wear a suit and tie. It was easily the most expensive restaurant in town, but it was renowned for serving the quality of food that matched the cost. It was the kind of place you went to celebrate things like graduations or anniversaries. Or engagements. Jim had thought it was the only place worth taking Pam that night.

Jim had managed to completely shower and change without one sighting of Pam. He tapped on her bedroom door, only to hear a very morose 'Come in' from Pam. She was sitting on her bed, a purple terry robe pulled on over her undergarments. When he asked her what the matter was, she practically sobbed.

"I have absolutely nothing to wear to a place like Steinman's," she had pouted.

Jim took a look through her open closet. He saw a few things that he thought would be suitable, but then something else caught his eye. He hesitated for a moment, then grabbed it off the hanger and laid it on the bed next to her.

"Wear this."

She looked at the dress and then back up at Jim. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "I'd like to start having some good memories associated with that dress."

When she finally walked out of her bedroom, Jim could only stare in appreciation. She looked more beautiful than the last time he had seen her in that shade of periwinkle blue. "You are so beautiful," he had finally managed to say.

"I think it's because of the company I've been keeping," she had replied warmly.

Pam's movement next to him was enough to rouse him from his memories. She turned over so her back was now facing him, and he thought he heard her mumbling something about 'dried weasels'. When she settled back down, he slid behind her, wrapping his arm around her. He carefully brushed some hair from behind her ear and placed a gentle kiss there. She murmured something inaudible again, but it sounded pleasant this time. He gave her another kiss and continued to replay their evening in his mind.

The restaurant had been pleasantly empty when they arrived. It was decorated to resemble a wine cellar; a mix of grey stone and dark brown wood. They were seated at a half-circle booth for two, and the high seat backs made it seem even more intimate. The waiter had lit the candles on the table and asked if they were celebrating a special occasion. Pam had giggled a bit, which caused Jim to blush slightly. They agreed that they were, but never got around to explaining exactly what it was they were celebrating.

And despite Pam's claim that she would order the most expensive thing on the menu, she had actually been quite hesitant to spend so much on a meal. She'd turned down Jim's suggestion of an appetizer, but instead suggested that they get the seafood platter for two because it came with a starter salad.

"Plus, I seem to remember you loved crab," she had smiled. Jim knew it was silly, but it still tugged a little at his heartstrings that she had remembered that. He was pretty certainly he'd only mentioned that fact once.

They hadn't talked much during dinner. Instead they sat very close, holding hands as much as they could given that they needed to use their utensils, and would taste things off each other's plate. They had been, by far, the most nauseatingly cute couple the staff had seen all weekend. When they did talk, it was mostly about random, unimportant things. At one point Jim had been talking about the highway construction project going on near his apartment, when he realised how insipid he sounded. He stopped talking in mid-sentence, causing Pam to look quizzically at him.

"This is silly," he'd started to say. "Do you know what I sound like?"

"Like a nervous guy on his first date?" Pam provided helpfully, a grin playing at the corners of her mouth.

"Worse. Like a very nervous guy on his first date with the girl of his dreams."

She had leaned over and kissed him. "You're not doing so bad."

"Don't you kind of wonder how a first date would have gone, had things been different?"

She had shrugged. "I don't think about that anymore. You said earlier today that we were starting fresh, right? Well then, this IS our first date. Well, our first date after some things thrown in that usually happen AFTER a first date."

They'd looked at each other and laughed. "As you wish," Jim replied.

The highlight of the meal for Jim was when the dessert tray was brought around. As the waiter took his time describing each thing on the tray, all Jim could think about was his comment to Pam earlier.

...but if you order dessert I shall take that as my cue to demand a repeat of this afternoon when we get back here...

When he had looked over at Pam, the sparkle in her eyes told him she had remembered his ultimatum, too. Jim raised a silent eyebrow at her, daring her to make a choice.

"Oh there's no way I'd leave without having dessert," she had said sweetly to the waiter. She'd ordered the devil chocolate triple torte, 'with two spoons, please.' When the waiter left with the order, they could barely contain their laughter.

Jim had tried to look serious, but failed miserably. "Well, I hope you know I meant what I said."

She said nothing, but gave him a coy smile. When the decadent cake arrived, she made a point of eating it as licentiously as she could. She stared at Jim while she brought the fork to her mouth, slowly pulling the cake off. She would always leave a little bit of chocolate ganache on the fork so she could suggestively lick it off before spearing another piece of cake and starting all over again. After a while Jim had forgotten he was supposed to be eating it as well and just concentrated on watching her eat it.

Her antics had reached their intended mark. "Are you going to be done anytime soon?" He asked, his eyes never leaving her lips.

"In a hurry to get home?" she had asked teasingly.

He had said nothing, but he didn't need to. They way he cocked his head and smirked said it all.

Jim thought about the rest of the meal, and the drive home. They seemed to have reached an unspoken arrangement that conversation wasn't necessary at that point. All interactions between the restaurant and Pam's apartment had been conducted by a look, or a smile, or a slight squeeze of a hand or arm. When they had arrived back at Pam's, Jim was starting to feel a bit nervous. His joke about dessert had been just that, a joke. He felt a bit awkward wondering if Pam thought he had meant it seriously. Even if she was willing to do it again, he was uncomfortable at the thought of it not just occurring spontaneously, like it had that afternoon. To him, nothing doused a fire quicker than a situation feeling forced.

But as it turned out, Pam didn't refer to the 'dessert compensation' at all when they got in. She invited him to get comfortable, helping him take off his coat and tie, all interspersed with the friendly, affection kisses that she gave so well. They had ended up cuddling together on the couch, having discovered that Alfred Hitchcock's Notorious has just started on one of the classic film channels.

It had seemed an appropriate film, Jim had thought, but he wasn't sure quite why. Maybe it was just its intensity, the chemistry between Bergman and Grant from the very start. Even so, the film could only hold his attention for so long. The longer he sat watching it, the more the only thing he could focus on was the woman sitting next to him.

He thought that either she had felt the same, or that she was capable of reading his mind, for it was not long into the film's run that she started to sneak kisses from him while they watched it. Then she began running her hand over his shirt, slowly undoing one button of his shirt at a time, then slyly denying she was doing anything of the sort every time he asked her about it.

He'd finally turned to her, attempting an impatient manner. "Should I just take the shirt off for you?"

"Oh, no," she had breezed, "I can do it." Then she'd kissed him again and he resigned himself to his fate. Not that playing cat and mouse with Pam wasn't a game he'd gladly play every night for the rest of his life, if the opportunity presented itself.

Lying in bed, Jim pulled Pam a little closer to himself as he remembered their play on the couch. If they had drunk wine at dinner he might have found her behavior a little more understandable. It's always easier to be a little more daring if you've been bolstered by liquid confidence. But they hadn't. Which made Jim realise that maybe she really did love him. She hadn't said it in words as of yet, but even if Pam had gained a million times more self-confidence and assurance, he couldn't see it in her character to behave so openlyto him if she didn't feel something deeper than simple lust. At least he kept telling himself that.

He wasn't sure he was ready to relive all of the evening. But he rolled back onto his pillow and stared at the plain ceiling. He had been enjoying the movie, enjoying kissing and cuddling Pam. His Pam. He certainly didn't mind when she had unbuttoned and then removed his shirt, because it just meant he felt her that much closer against him. He did find it amusing that he was half-dressed and she was still complete in her periwinkle dress outfit. Well, minus the shoes, anyway. He had taken it to mean she was still a bit shy about opening up that much to him. And honestly he was fine about it. On so many levels it was enough just to be with her.  
It was those few other, lower, levels that were secretly cheering about her being fascinated with taking his clothes off.

About half-way into the film Pam had suggested they move the pillows to the floor and watch from there. Jim easily agreed, and soon they were snuggled up together on the floor. She had begun to caress his chest again, and from the look in her eyes he knew what she was thinking.

"You do know I was joking about the dessert, right?"

"So you wouldn't want me to?" She smiled innocently at him.

"I'm just saying that you don't have to."

"And if I wanted to?"

"Well far be it for me to hold you back from your dreams," he grinned.

They started to kiss again, and soon he felt her hands on him. Undoing his trousers, her careful attention to giving him pleasure proving that their earlier encounter was not a fluke. She knew what she was doing. And what was even better in his mind, she seemed to like to do it to him.

He was secretly pleased that he knew this time he'd be able to hold out a little longer. To be honest he was surprised he hadn't ejaculated the minute she kissed his chest last time. That's how much he wanted her. But even this second time wasn't going to be setting any records for duration.

He felt her slide her lips down from his mouth to his neck. Then she slowly moved back down to his chest, and then his belly. When she didn't stop there, Jim wasn't sure what to say, or to think. As he felt her warm, wet mouth against him, licking him so intimately, he just closed his eyes and gave into the moment.

Jim felt himself become erect at just the memory. He didn't have an extensive history to compare tonight to, but even if he had he was sure Pam's ability to pleasure him would be second to no one. He could barely believe that just thinking about her giving him oral sex was enough to make him feel like he was on fire.

He looked over at Pam. He hadn't noticed that she'd turned slightly back towards him, but now he could see her face again, and noticed she was still sleeping. He lay there in the dark for a moment, conflicting feelings and yearnings gnawing away at him. In the end he decided it wasn't going to hurt anyone to take the frustration away at his own hands.

He reached down and quietly began to masturbate. It was probably the most surreal experience in his life, but he couldn't help it. He even felt a little guilty. Not that he bought into the idea that it was impure or wrong, but that he just would have rather shared the feelings with Pam. He hoped once more that it wouldn't be too long before she'd feel comfortable enough with herself and with him to let him give her at least a fraction of all she had been giving to him this weekend.

He knew his breathing was getting harder, and that warm feeling was start to grow in his stomach, when he glanced over to look at Pam again. His heart nearly stopped when he realised that she was awake. Awake and looking at him, aware of what he'd been doing. He stopped immediately and wondered what in the world he was going to say to her.

Fortunately he never had to say anything. She moved closer to him, moved so that her entire body lined up against his. She shifted onto her left side, and cupped her right hand along his chin. She leaned in and gave him a long kiss. "Please don't stop," she whispered against his lips. He looked at her mutely, as if he had absolutely no idea what she was saying to him. She nodded slightly, and moved her right hand to his stomach. "Let me watch you," she asked him softly.

He leaned toward her, and taking her face between both his hands kissed her. Kissed her deep and long and tenderly. He pulled back and looked into her eyes, but said nothing. He laid back down, and she followed, holding him close with her arm across his chest. He reached down, brushing her hand slightly, and went back to what he has started. He was aware that she was looking at him, and he found it incredibly erotic. The implications of the multitude of intimacy lines they were crossing was not lost to him. He felt he was in a place he never thought to be with anyone, not even Pam. But at the same time, it felt so damn good.

Any nervousness he felt quickly fell away to be replaced with his need for satisfaction. Feeling Pam's body against him, aware of her gaze, he soon felt the familiar tightening, the spiralling exhilaration as he reached orgasm. He knew he had responded a bit louder than he usually did, but he tried not to think about it. He was just glad that he had still been partially hidden under the darkness of night in the room. As pleasurable as it was, in the moments after it ended he wondered how he'd ever be able to look at her again. He loved her with all his heart, but he couldn't help but feel terribly embarrassed.

He thought his best defense was just to fall asleep, or barring that, to pretend to be asleep. A few hours of dark silence was probably what he would need to make it seem like less of a big deal later. He silently rolled away from Pam, pulling his pajama pants up and grabbing a bit more blanket to hide under. Pam wasn't fooled however. She spooned up behind him, and wrapped her arm once again tightly against his waist. He didn't move or say a word, so she started to drop small, soft kisses on his shoulder. Still no response. She kissed him a little longer, then waited to see if he had fallen asleep. She could tell from his breathing that he was still awake. It was too shallow, too tense.

"I don't care what you think, Jim Halpert," she said softly. "You have nothing to feel badly about. I know I'm not perfect, and this weekend has been very one-sided, but I want us to be able to share everything. And I do mean everything. You belong to me, and I'm never going to let you go. Never."

She kissed his shoulder again and let herself slip back to sleep, before the reality of Monday morning hit them both.


	5. Chapter 12

"Dunder Mifflin, This is Pam."

Pause.

"Just a moment, I'll transfer you sir."

Pam dialed Stanley's extension and put the phone down. She had just walked in the door when the phone rang, and she rushed to answer it, not even getting her jacket off yet. She had walked in late this morning. Well over an hour late, and a quick scan of the office seemed to indicate that no one had even noticed.

She hung her coat, put her purse in her lower desk drawer, and took her lunch bag into the kitchen so she could put it in the fridge and then get some tea. No one appeared to take any notice of her. It was just another Monday, in an office that looked exactly the same as it had on Friday. Except Pam didn't think it looked the same. She kept trying to figure out what was different today, but there were no clues. People sat where they always sat, doing the things they always seemed to be doing. When she finally sat down with her tea, she realized the problem. The office hadn't changed, she had changed.

It had been a long time since she'd shown up at work in such a good mood. The past couple of months had been a long series of 'let's just get through the day', and then 'let's get this over with so I can go do other things'. And while she still would have preferred to stay home, her newfound happiness had managed to catch a ride into work with her. She wondered if anyone would even notice a change in her.

"Pamela, where have you been?" She looked up from her station to see the accusing eyes of Dwight K. Schrute, Assistant to the Regional Manager. She couldn't help but smirk a bit, causing Dwight to repeat his question, this time loud enough to disturb the whole office.

"Nowhere, Dwight - I was just got in a little late today."

"A little late? You are at least one whole hour late. That's not acceptable, Pamela. You are the face of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. What does a customer think if they walk in and they don't see our face?"

"Dwight, nobody just walks in as a customer."

"That's not relevant. They call, and it's like they might as well be standing right here. With you late they are left pounding on a locked door."

"The phones are kept on automatic voice mail until I get in. So they are still able to leave messages if it's important."

"If it's important, you should be there to take their call. You can be sure Michael will be made aware of your tardiness."

She nodded, attempting to look contrite so he'd just walk away. Shewas sure if he kept on much longer she'd start giggling. But she had no luck.

He continued to interrogate her at her desk. "So why were you late?"

She couldn't help grinning, but she shrugged noncommittally. "I was just late."

"Did you have a job interview?"

"No."

"Then where were you?"

"At home. Dwight, I just overslept."

"By accident or on purpose?"

She gave him a look that clearly indicated how much he was starting to irritate her.

"What does that mean?"

"Did you 'accidently' sleep through your alarm, or were you just not committed enough to your job to get out of bed on time?"

Pam put her tea mug down and stood up. She wasn't getting mad because of his questions, she was getting angry because he was sucking her good mood right out of her. "Actually, you know what, Dwight? I'll tell you the truth. I was late because I had a lover in my bed and I didn't want to leave him."

She could tell that her attempt to silence Dwight had in fact silenced the entire office. Whoops, she thought. I guess I shouldn't have shouted that. She sat back down but couldn't completely hide a smirk. At least I was being honest, she thought. All she could think of was how much she wished Jim were there to see this. Dwight still stood in front of her desk, but he hadn't said a word since her outburst. She looked

back up at him, as if daring him to go on.

"No, you didn't," he finally replied.

"Oh, and you know this...how?"

"Well, you didn't get married...and you aren't engaged any longer..."

"Which is why I called him my 'Lover', Dwight. Are you done now?" She turned back to her computer in a dismissive manner, and was relieved when he just sniffed loudly and turned away. She didn't even have to look up to know he was heading into Michael's office. She would have called Jim immediately if she could have gotten away with it. Instead she did the next best thing.

* * *

**What a morning for you not to be here. I'll probably talk to you before you read this, but if I don't PLEASE remind me to tell you how I told Dwight (and at the same time the entire office) that I was late into work this morning because I was in bed with my lover and didn't want to leave him.**

**Seriously. You're just lucky he left me alone before he demanded I name names.**

**Call me as soon as you get this!**

**Love,**

**Pam (aka the new office slut...!)**

* * *

**  
**

Grinning, she sent it off, still wishing she could pick up the phone and call him. She reached for the phone just as Angela walked over to the copier. Pam put the handset down, and glanced over at Angela. She was not surprised to see Angela giving her 'that look'. What surprised Pam was how completely unaffected she was by it. Not that she ever really cared what Angela though, but usually her judgemental attitude really set Pam off. Today, Pam just wanted to smile sweetly at her. So she did. And it was so worth it to see the look on Angela's face.

* * *

**You're killing me - you know this, right? I just gave Angela a huge smile and she just about freaked out. How can it be so much fun today without you? Oh that's right - you're still here. points to my heart**

**Nauseaous yet? ;-)**

**Please, please call when you get this!**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

Whether through luck or the fear that she had gone crazy, Pam was left alone for quite sometime after that. She kept herself busy with the small stack of things she had to do, the things she had completely ignored on Friday because she had been absorbed in talking to Jim. The phone rang.

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."

"Is this the same Pam who has a thing for men with chest hair?"

She covered her mouth so no one would notice the broad smile that had just lit up her face.

"Maybe." she said, trying to keep voice down, "Depends who's asking."

Jim's laughter made her feel even more giddy. "Are you doing okay?" he asked.

"Well, I'd rather not be here..."

"Yeah, I know. If I could stay another day you wouldn't be."

"Thanks. There will be other times, though...right?"

Jim laughed softly. "Is that really a serious question?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm pretty close to getting on 476-South. I just wanted to let you know that I tidied up the place up a little. You know, made the bed, took out the trash, made sure everything was locked up like you said."

"Thanks," she said, touched by his consideration. "I could get used to that."

"Well as I recall you don't seem to go out of your way to make your own bed."

She couldn't help but smile. "If you want the job, it's yours for the asking."

Jim paused for a moment. "Hmm...well I've got a few more interviews for bedmaker coming up. Can I get back to you on that?"

"Oh no, I'm sorry." she grinned. "I already have several people waiting should you decide not to accept the position."

She heard him chuckle. "Shut up, Beesly."

"So you want the job?"" She asked softly. She really didn't want the conversation to end.

"Pam..."

She noticed the teasing was gone from his voice. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry if things were a little awkward this morning...I.."

"Shush, it's okay." She looked up to make sure there were no eavesdroppers standing near her desk. "and I really wish I could talk to you right now about it..."

"But it's probably not the best time and place," he finished. "I know. But I didn't want you to worry that there was something wrong between us. Or that I didn't have the best time of my life with you yesterday. Because I did."

"Yeah, I did, too. But promise me we'll talk about this soon, okay?"

"I promise. I'll call you when I get to Philly?"

"You better. Oh, and if you can, check your email. I've already sent you things to tell you that I can't repeat over the phone."

"Wow. Sounds like you've had quite a morning."

"Oh, I have. And the best part was before I even got here. Bye, Sweetie."

She cut the conversation off a bit quicker than she'd wanted, but she saw Michael approaching her. She turned to her computer and pretended to work, hoping that he wasn't actually going to stop. She was of course, completely wrong.

"Pam-a-rino! What is this I hear about a LOVER in your bed these days?" He had emphasised the word 'lover' so strongly that she was sure the guys downstairs in Vance Refrigeration had probably heard it.

Pam rolled her eyes and regretted saying anything to Dwight. While it had felt good to be a bit shocking at the time, she knew she wasn't going to hear the end of it now that Michael had wind of it.

"It's nothing, Michael. Dwight was giving me a hard time about being late today and when he pressed me for a reason, I just told him what I thought he wanted to hear."

Dwight, who was of course already right next to Michael complained. "That's not true! I don't want to hear that she has a lover."

"No, I'm sure you don't, Dwight," Michael reassured him. "In fact," he said loudly, "I'm pretty sure nobody in this office wants to hear that Pam now has a lover. Isn't that right, everybody?"

Pam just closed her eyes and wished this day were already over. Scratch that. She wished the week were over. Or even better, the next two weeks so she'd be home waiting for Jim to arrive instead of sitting here listening to her supposed sex life get bandied about.

Michael leaned over the desk. "So who is he? Anyone we know?"

"It's no one, Michael," she lied.

"It's Roy isn't it? Have you two gotten back together?"

"NO!" Pam's denial came out a bit stronger than she had intended. "No, Michael, Roy and I are definitely NOT back together."

"Oh, well, that's a shame." He started to walk away from her desk, then turned back. "Well,when you feel ready to introduce him to us, you know where I am."

She nodded and started another email.

* * *

**Michael has been alerted to the fact that I told Dwight about having a lover in my bed this morning. I'll spare you the obscenity of who he named as a possible choice.**

**Any chance I can just transfer to the Stamford branch and work with you again?**

**Love,  
Pam**

**P.S. Could my first sentence be any longer or more confusing? I trust your skills in diagramming sentences will translate it for you.**

* * *

She sighed. She knew it would be well over 2 hours at the earliest before Jim would read her emails, and more importantly, have time to reply. She knew that in comparison to Friday this day was probably going to feel like one of the longest of her life.

It was only just after 10am, but she decided she already needed a tea break. She was going to sit in the kitchen, but the look Kevin gave her as she passed made her run and hide behind her desk. Once again she regretted what she'd said to Dwight. Then she remembered the looks on both his and Angela's faces and giggled. Maybe it was worth it just to shock those two. She knew Jim would be proud of her.

Ah yes, Jim. She couldn't help but smile. Taking a look across the office, everyone seemed distracted by their tasks. So Pam thought the best way to pass the morning was to pretend to shuffle some papers, and just think about yesterday.

So much had happened on Sunday that she barely believed it had only been one day. And her heart did a skip when she thought how different things might be right now if he would have listened to her and NOT come up. Thank God he didn't listen to me, she mused. Maybe she should tell him to feel free to ignore her wishes more often. He already seemed to know what she really wanted better than she did.

But hasn't that always been true? She wondered. He was always the first to encourage her to trythings she wouldn't or couldn't admit an interest in. He made her braver. She thought that in the preceding months she had done a good job of putting her desires first, but it was clear that it was much nicer having someone else near who wanted the best for you, too.

She knew she wanted the best for him as well. She hoped he understood that. Certainly she spent a great deal of time trying to express that fact. She blushed a little reliving some of Sunday's highlights. She had surprised herself a bit, being so forward. But she trusted him completely. And it was true, he did make her feel braver. And damn, she really hadn't realised he had hair on his chest. She grinned a bit at the memory. She couldn't possibly have made her weakness for chest hair any less obvious, could she? But it was true, and in retrospect she should have expected it. After all, he was just about perfect to her in every other way.

Remembering what he had said on the phone just a little while earlier, Pam thought about this morning. 'The awkwardness' which Jim had been referring. When her alarm went off, she did get out of bed to get ready for work. Jim was awake too, but not at all his usual talkative self. She worried she'd done the wrong thing earlier; perhaps she should have pretended to stay asleep. But at the time, listening to him, feeling the bed shaking, it was impossible for her not to move closer to him, to touch him. Surely he realised how much watching him had turned her on. She gave up getting dressed and had crawled back into bed with him.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Jim," she said tentatively. "I mean about earlier."

He looked up at her, and she could see the distant look in his eyes starting to melt a bit. "I'm sorry, too," he replied slowly. They shared a long hug and a short, soft kiss. "I guess..I guess I was just surprised," he started to say.

She immediately kissed him again. "Let's not talk about it now. How about we talk about it some time later? Maybe over email?"

He had seemed immediately relieved. She had to smile at that, as she still wasn't quite sure what he was so bothered by. She found it funny he was so shy about it. Not that she had room to talk. Her desire to touch him seemed an odd contrast to her fears of having him touch her.

Perhaps 'fear' was too a strong word. She didn't fear him; she feared her reaction to him. She'd spend these last months gaining control of her life. She enjoyed feeling self-sufficient. But having Jim back in her life brought out both her strengths and her weaknesses. And she wasn't yet sure which category her desire for him fell into. She knew that she wanted him; hadn't she always wanted him, really? She just worried that if she gave into all her feelings for him, she might end up back where she started: too dependent on someone else.

That's why her interaction with him on Sunday was so one-sided. She couldn't bear not to touch him, but she worried she'd lose control if she let him return the favour. Thinking about these things under the cold light of the office fluorescents made her feel foolish. I think entirely too much, she scolded herself. All of these mind games and internal monologues were just avoiding the obvious. She needed to be with him.

Had he stayed one more night she was sure it she would have made it evident that she was ready. She also would have found a way to make it special. Special like the night she'll finally tell him that she loves him.

Because of course she loves him. She thought she probably had loved him all this time without really understanding it. She'd been certain about her feelings for over two months now. And absolutely convinced since Friday. She could immediately think of four times yesterday when she had to fight to keep those three words from just jumping out: when he'd arrived on her doorstep unannounced, when he chose her periwinkle dress as a symbol of putting their past behind them, after his embarrassment in the early morning hours, and when she was about to leave for work this morning.

Why hadn't she said it yet? It was irrational, but she wanted the time she said it to him to be as memorable as the time he had said it to her. She wanted it to have a "Where were you when JFK was shot?" kind of feel. But wanting it special didn't mean she didn't ache to tell him. And she felt a little guilty because at various times yesterday things felt momentarily awkward, like he was waiting for her to say it. How could he not expect it after this weekend? Granted, he hadn't said it to her either over the past 4 days, but he wasn't the one who needed to set things right.

Was it possible that he didn't love her - wasn't IN love with her anymore? Always a slight chance, perhaps. Though if that were the case their weekend certainly wouldn't have rung true with Jim's style. But it was enough of a disquieting thought that Pam swore she'd work out how to tell him by the time they next met.

"Hey Pam, guess what?" Kelly's bright voice barged right into Pam's thoughts.

"Hey Kelly," Pam said, semi-smiling. "What?"

"We're all set for tomorrow night!"

"What are you talking about?" Pam was momentarily confused.

"What am I talking about? The date, silly! The double date!"

Pam raised her eyebrows in horror.

"Do not tell me you forgot about it. I've already made the dinner reservations. It's going to be me and Ryan, and you and Tom. You remember Tom - he writes this way cool comic strip in the local paper, and he's my neighbor, and it just so happens he's single and looking - just like you! Won't it be awesome if you guys really click tomorrow? It will all be thanks to me!"

Pam felt a little sick. "Kelly, I'm not sure tomorrow's such a good idea."

"Don't be silly, Pam. You really need to get out and have fun. Then you won't have to make up stories to Dwight about having a lover in your bed." Kelly rolled her eyes, indicating her opinion on how likely such a scenario really was in her opinion. "Just make sure you wear something sexy tomorrow!" she bounced away to find Ryan before Pam had a chance to protest again.

Pam wanted to bang her head against her desk. How could she have forgotten? Kelly had been bugging her for ages about dating, and last week she agreed to go out just once to shut her up. Last week - two days before she had emailed Jim. It might as well have been a century ago given how different things were now. But she felt stuck, and wondered how she was going to explain this to Jim.

She shook her head and smiled a little. There's no way he's going to take this as some sort of competition to him, she grinned. I'll just explain that it's a Kelly thing and he'll understand. She really wasn't too worried. She just didn't want to go out on a date with a man she never met before. A man not Jim.

She sighed, and decided he might as well find yet another email waiting.

* * *

**Hi, it's me again. I'm sure your ego is suffocating you with all this fan mail. :-)**

**I'm not quite sure how to say this, but I just thought I should mention that I have a date tomorrow. Yep, you read that right: Pam Beesly has a date. Before you start worrying, (or not!) please know that this was something I was browbeaten into early last week - long before I even thought to get the courage up to email you.**

**This has all been arranged by Kelly, so I shouldn't have to tell you that it's guaranteed to end in disaster. Apparently he's a cartoonist, so Kelly thought he and I would have loads in common. I'm just hoping we share the same feelings on hygiene.**

**Again, C.A.L.L...M.E. when you get this. I need some tips on what to wear and how to do my hair.**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

By 11:30am, Pam decided that she needed to get out of the office. Using the excuse that she needed to get some postal supplies (they were actually delivered right to their office simply with a phone call), she decided to go computer shopping. She really hadn't missed having one at home until she had gone crazy last Thursday wondering if Jim has replied to her original message. And while she knew they'd call each other a lot, she figured emailing and IM'ing would work out to be a more cost effective way to keep in touch. Plus, she thought - it was always easier to be flirtatious online. She could tease him in a way she might be self-conscious to do in person, at least at first. She saw buying a laptop as an investment in their future.

Pam was gone longer than she had expected, and it was well after one o'clock when she snuck back to her desk. She didn't even return with postage stamps, so hopefully no one was going to try and make her story stick. When she saw that Dwight was out on a sales call, she knew she was in the clear.

She logged into her computer and found one email.

* * *

**I am confused. Tell me again why you can't get out of this 'date' tomorrow night?**

**Jim**

* * *

She sighed, and rested her head in her hand. This did not look like a good way to start their time apart. With no one in listening distance, she decided it was better to call.

"Hey, Pam," he said upon picking up the phone. His tone seemed neutral, which made Pam a little nervous.

"Hey, I thought you were going to call me when you arrived in Philly."

"Yeah, well I did, but I got the office voice mail. We didn't talk about letting people know about this weekend, so I didn't leave a message."

"Oh, yeah, I didn't think about that. I was out looking at computers. Sorry I wasn't here when you called."

He didn't say anything to that so she plunged ahead. She wondered why she had this heavy feeling in her stomach. "I got your email. Are you mad at me?"

"No, I'm not mad." He paused. "I guess I just don't understand why you'd still want go through with a date after this weekend."

Just then Dwight walked back into the office. "Damn it," she whispered, "Dwight's just come back. I don't suppose you have access to email right now?"

"We don't have to talk about this right now."

"Yes," Pam said firmly, "we do. I'm not starting this week with a silly misunderstanding." She glanced around furitively, but no one was near her desk. She lowered her voice anyway. "It's hard enough being without you. Please don't be angry with me."

She heard him sigh. "I'm not mad, Pam, honestly. I... Well, if you want to talk about this in email I can do it now."

"Really?" For some reason she was surprised. "Aren't you at your friend's house?"

"Yeah, I am. But she had to work this afternoon. It's just me and the internet connection until around 4:30pm. But can you send it to my Gmail account? It's easier to access that from here."

"Sure. Actually I'll start using my Gmail address, too."

* * *

**Hey, it's me. Note my Gmail address.**

**So, I let's get this date thing sorted. Does it truly bother you for me to go?**

**Ohh! And did you get my first three emails?**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

**First, awesome new email address. I think I shall use it exclusively from now on.**

**Second, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would give anything to have been back working in the Scranton office this morning when you put Dwight in his place. Bravo, Beesly. Just Bravo. The Angela smile sounded hilarious, but the 'Lover' bit was pure genius. I'm glad I had at least a small supporting part in the whole thing. I won't ask who Michael suggested because I'm already aware of how clueless he can be.**

**As for your double date: Does it bother me? Yes. Should it? I know it probably shouldn't. But it does.**

**And to reiterate a previous comment, I'm not mad at you. I just miss you already and it's hard for me to imagine you getting all dressed up to go out with a stranger, when you really should be with me.**

**Do you have an opinion about what we should tell people about us, if anything at all?**

**Love,  
Jim**

* * *

**I'm really sorry that this bothers you. It's not a real date; you know that. The whole night I'm going to be comparing it to our date at Steinman's. How do you think the two are going to compare, Halpert? (Hint: there will be NO dessert tomorrow.)**

**I mean, the guy could be George Clooney and I'm going to be sitting next to him all night missing you! That's got to count for something, right:-)**

**Also, I just feel its too late to cancel and not look like a jerk. Plus, you have to remember that I'd have to deal with Kelly hassling me for why I cancelled, then have her trying to set up another one. I just figure that I could go on this one, get it over with, then just tell her I'm not interested in any more blind dates.**

**If you give me your blessing on this, perhaps I could make it up to you somehow?**

**And I'm very glad that you aren't angry with me. Keep it for when I really deserve it. ;-)**

**As for telling people, I'd ratherjust keep this between us right now, okay? It makes it even more special than it already is. People will find out eventually, but for now the secrecy makes me smile. kiss**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

**Give my blessing? Hah, not likely. I'm not a saint. But I could be talked into not sulking so quite much, if the 'making it up to me' part was good enough. Please s send details.**

**Anyway, I guess I'll be too busy at the convention tomorrow to call you much about it. I have to be there around 10am, and we've got accommodation so I think it's an all day/evening thing. It will be nice to see Michael. I don't even dread seeing Dwight, which is both weird and amazing. I'm sure that will wear off soon, though.**

**Promise me you'll take detailed notes of the guy's every flaw, okay?**

**Love,  
Jim**

**P.S. Yeah, I'm completely okay about our 'secret'. But don't expect me to kiss you in an email, Beesly! Geesh! ;-)**

* * *

**pout What do you mean, no kiss:-(**

**Thanks for at least not giving me TOO hard a time about tomorrow. Give me call tonight if you want to negotiate on a reward. ;-)**

**Anything else on your mind you'd like to talk about? Anyone? Bueller?**

**Oh, and what's your friend's name? You haven't told me anything about her besides the fact that you went to college together.**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

**sigh**

**kiss**

**Happy now? The things I do for you, Beesly...**

**I expect I will be able to call you tonight, but I really can't give you a definite time. I think the current plan for tonight is just dinner and then back here. I don't know if it's just me and her or if she's inviting other people. Can you at least give me some categories that I can choose from regarding my reward for not taunting you and your casual dating lifestyle? Make it worth my while, Beesly. You are breaking my heart after all.**

**Well, what can I saw about my friend? Her name is Wendy, she's about 5'7", blonde hair, blue eyes, and she works in a marketing department for a hospital. I think you'd like her. She's smart and funny.**

**I also should tell you something else about her. I didn't mention this originally because I didn't see why it should matter, but after this date thing you're doing tomorrow I'd feel like a huge hypocrite if I didn't say something. See, Wendy was my girlfriend in college. It's not something you need to worry about at all, but like I said I just don't want you to find out later and think I hid it from you on purpose. We are just friends now. I mean it.**

**I'm almost afraid to send this off, but I will in the hope that you trust me.**

**Love,  
Jim**

* * *

**Wow. That's interesting. And you were upset about a fake date? I'm not sure I know what to say about this. I can understand you not thinking it mattered when you first mentioned it, but why didn't you say something yesterday?**

**Is she really pretty? When was the last time you saw her? How long ago did you date, and for how long?**

**I hope you don't mind these all these questions. I just want to know how to picture the scenes in my head when I'm alone this week and want to beat myself up about it.**

**Pam**

* * *

**Dear Pam,**

**Come on - please tell me you were kidding when you wrote that last sentence. The idea that you have anything to 'beat yourself up' over is ridiculous. Do you really think anyone would hold a candle to you in my eyes - especially after yesterday?**

**I will tell you more about her, since you asked. I think she's pretty, but not outstandingly gorgeous. Her features are symmetrical and she doesn't have any hairy warts, but I think it's mostly her personality that makes her look attractive. She can be very animated when she's excitedabout something.**

**Gee, that description is starting to sound like someone else I know. Maybe I do have a 'type'! (Would it be a good idea to insert a kiss for you in here about now?)**

**We met shortly after freshman year began, and we were together about 18 months. That's 18 months in total, but we started to slowly drift apart after the first year. I think it took the final six months for us to break it off with each other. At least it's my memory that the break up was pretty mutual. I didn't hear from her for ages, then about a year ago I got an email out of the blue from her. We emailed sporatically after that. When I sent her my new Stamford address she started to email more often. This is the first time I've seen her in person in about 6 years. She still looks much the same, but I have absolutely no urge to kiss her, much less spend the week having meaningless sex with her. I swear I have my own bed, in a separate room. I'm not sure if the door has a lock, but if you want, I can make sure I prop a chair under the handle every night to keep me safe and chaste. 8)**

**I'll mention it again: You know you can trust me, right?**

**Love,  
Jim**

* * *

** Jim,**

**I think a whole email full of kiss's would be a good idea about now. ;-)**

**Yes, of course I trust you. I could argue that you don't even have an obligation to point that out, seeing as our relationship doesn't currently have any "official" label. But somehow I think you'd argue that point.**

**I'm not going to lie and say that I don't wish she was horribly mean and disfigured, with a hunched back and a hook for a hand, but I guess your description will have to do. I don't suppose she already has a gorgeous boyfriend to keep her mind off of wanting to get back with you? I mean, from my point of view I don't see why she won't want to make a play to get you back. You are, after all, the great catch. (Oh wait - I mean you're the Big Tuna! heehee!)**

**Remember, this is Pam 2.0 now. I am fully confident in my ability to keep my man faithful. (Or some sort of rubbish like that.)**

**On a related note, are you still feeling awkward over what happened early this morning? If so, why?**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

**I'll see what I can do about the email full of kisses. But no promises. If anyone finds out they'll cancel my membership in the 'He-Man Woman Hater's Club' for sure.**

**And I'll just say once more that you have nothing to worry about while I'm here. Worry about what it's going to be like in 2 weeks when I'm back in Scranton. Two weeks is a long time to survive on just a day full of memories, even if it was a hell of a day.**

**And as for your last question, I'm still not sure. I know it probably isn't that big a deal, and it's not like you really saw anything new. I guess maybe I was embarrassed after it was over because I was pretty much 'caught', wasn't I? I mean, I'm lying in bed with you, after the day we had... I don't think I could have convinced you I was thinking of someone else, now could I? (And if you must know, I would have been fine had I not started to think about how much I enjoyed watching 'Notorious' with you...)**

**Okay, I'm just going to shut up about this now. I don't think I'm helping myself much, and I'm sitting here blushing in an empty room! I blame you entirely, Beesly.**

**One a final note, I will say that you have the honor(!) of being the only person to ever witness such a thing. Not even my mother ever walked in on me, and I was pretty much unstoppable at 16.**

**I suppose I'll feel less awkward after your turn. 8)**

**New conservation topic, please?**

**Love,  
Jim**

* * *

**big hugs**

**You know you are fucking adorable, don't you? Because you are. hugs**

**Oh! Do I get some sort of trophy for my 'honor'? Perhaps a Dundie for Best Voyeur:-D**

**As for a new topic, I should let you know that Michael, Dwight, and Angela have already left for the day. Not sure why, not sure I need to know why. But since this is now the case, I'm thinking of heading out of here soon. I won't leave until I hear back from you, though.**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

**You should definitely get out if you can. Are you heading right straight home?**

**Love,  
Jim**

* * *

**I need to pick up some groceries, but that shouldn't have me out too late. Why?**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

**No reason, just wanted to know where you'd be. I will call you sometime tonight, okay?**

**Love,  
Jim**

* * *

**I promise to keep my cell phone near me, so call whenever. And have fun with what's-her-name.**

**Oops, I meant Wendy. ;-)**

**Tell her your very jealous significant other, who has with connections to the mob, says 'hello.'**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

**Significant other?**

**Love,  
Jim**

* * *

**Is there a description you'd prefer to use instead?**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

**I thought we agreed on 'best friends with benefits'.**

**But I'm open to your idea. You are after all significant. and other. 8)**

**Love,  
Jim**

* * *

**If you can work in BFwB into my message, be my guest. The real emphasis in the message was on the JEALOUS and CONNECTIONS TO THE MOB.**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

** I kind of figured out the theme of that message. Good to see you're keeping an open mind about my visit here.**

**Now get out of there before anyone comes back that can make you stay until 5pm!**

**Love,  
Jim**

* * *

**This is the last email for the night, I swear.**

**kiss**

**Love,  
Pam**

* * *

Pam walked out of the Dunder Mifflin Scranton office much the way she had walked in that morning, feeling unusually happy and thinking about Jim. She shook her head in disbelief as she got into her car. She had a date tomorrow and he's spending the week with an ex-girlfriend. What a great way for their relationship to be starting. She was a little pleased that he didn't like her going out, even if he knew it wasn't a 'real date'; she was proud of herself for refusing to believe that his stay in Philadelphia wasn't some omen of doom for them. Maybe she was growing up a bit.

She headed for the grocery story, but found herself first stopping at a department store to browse through the new winter fashions. She made a point of stopping in the lingerie department. She didn't own too many nice pajama sets, and now she had the perfect reason to change that fact. She took one look at the sexier pieces and headed right back to the comfort of the soft cottons and flannels. She didn't think she'd ever be the type of woman who could wear nighties that looked like they itched. She wondered if Jim would be disappointed with this news.

When she finally made it to the grocery store and home, the clock in her kitchen said it was 8:05pm. So much for getting out of work early, she thought. She put away her groceries, and then took a good look around her apartment. Jim was right; he had tidied up. In fact there was so sign of any artifact that would prove he'd been here at all. For some reason that made her a little sad. Next time she'd remember to take some photos of him, or make him leave something behind. Anything that she could touch and look at to remind her that this was indeed real. That they were starting to make their way to each other.

She had some soup and fresh french bread for dinner, then decided to call it an early night. She walked into her bedroom, turning the lights on to the sight of a neatly made bed. A neatly made bed and a small pile of items sitting right in the center of the bed. Intrigued, she sat on her bed and reached for the pile. The first thing on top was a handwritten note. She recognized his writing; it was a curious combination of cursive and printing, and while always slightly illegible, Pam found it endearing. It also wasn't a strictly masculine hand; Jim had a way of curling the ends of letters like 'g' or 'y' that made her smile. She didn't know much about handwriting analysis, but she always felt his personality shining through when she looked at his writing. Her heart beat a little faster, wondering what he'd written.

_Dear Pam,_

_Hope you find everything as you like it. I am leaving my pajama shirt here for you, seeing as it appears I am not allowed to wear it any longer when I'm around you. I thought you might like to wear it when I can't be there to keep you warm in person._

_The envelope contains items I thought you would like to have. They really belong to you now, anyway. You asked me about some things on Friday that I said I wasn't ready to talk about. I think I'm ready to start sharing more with you now._

_I'm already missing you and I haven't even walked out of your apartment yet. Imagine how I must be feeling by the time you read this note._

_Love,_

_Jim_

She felt tears pricking her eyelids. Had she just not been wishing she had something to hold on to so she could feel closer to Jim? How was he so damn good in just naturally knowing what to do? She slipped out of her work clothes and put on Jim's pajama shirt and an old pair of grey sweat pants. She sat back down on the bed and just hugged her arms close to her for a while, trying to absorb as much of Jim as she could from his shirt. She couldn't wait for his call.

She finally reached for the remaining item he'd left on her bed. A manila enveloped, bent at the edges but seemingly thick with something. She opened the enveloped and poured the contents onto her bed.

Postcards.

Postcards from Australia.

And every single one of them addressed to her.


	6. Chapter 13

Pam sat on the edge of her bed, looking at the pile of postcards for a very long time. Some were lying face up, visions of sand, sea, and skylines shining up at her. Some were lying face down, Jim's unique penmanship on them. Every one that was face down seemed to be addressed to her. She felt very conflicted. She was dying to look at each card individually, to read what he wrote on the ones addressed to her. But something told her that there was something quite significant about how he had left these for her. Left them behind for her to find instead of offering them to her when he was there. She had a feeling that she was about to find out more about his travels than perhaps she was wanted to know. 

She moved across her bed, settling cross-legged in the middle. She started to pick up the postcards, one by one, and laid them carefully out across her bedspread. 14 postcards from Australia, all of them tracking his vacation. Melbourne. Alice Springs. Ayers Rock. Carne. The Great Barrier Reef. Sydney. But that wasn't the amazing part. She she sorted them she realized that every single one of them was addressed to her, c/o the Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch. There were no stamps attached, but Jim had written on the back of each, and as she started to read, she could feel tears rising. He had written a postcard to her every day of his vacation, and it became clear he never thought he would send them. His honesty was extremely painful for Pam to read, but she couldn't turn away from his words.

Based on the dates he'd written in the corners, she started with the small collection of scenes from Melbourne:

"_Well, I made it here. I took this vacation to escape your wedding, but before I left I heard you had called it off. I almost didn't get on the plane for fear I'd miss your call. Hope to talk to you soon."_

_ "Day Two, and I can't quite believe I'm here. It's an amazing town, but can't seem to appreciate it because I all want to do is share with you. And then I realize that I can't. I miss you."_

_ "Today it poured rain. I stayed in my hotel and poured beer, mostly down my throat. I'm waiting for this vacation to get fun. Without you here I suspect I'll be waiting a while."_

_ "Rained again. Drank again. Tomorrow's my last day to take in Melbourne, so I hope both the city and I can stay dry. I hope you're holding up okay. I also hope I hear from you."_

_ "Weather's better. Took a city tour. Tomorrow I'm heading out to the Outback – maybe I'll see you there."_

The next few postcards featured scenes from the Outback.

_ "Welcome to Alice Springs! Now I feel like I'm in really in Australia. I just wish I didn't feel so completely disconnected from you. Maybe the desert will parch you out of my system? Doubt it."_

_ "Woke at 6am, and took the bus to Ayers Rock. Didn't climb it, but took the 6 mile walk all around it. Absolutely beautiful. Just like you."_

_ "Spend the day in Alice Springs again. Very small but interesting. I bought you something at the Todd Mall. I think you'll like it but I wonder if you'll get the joke. Miss you still."_

The postcard with a Koala bear was straight and to the point:

_ "Dammit, Pam – where are you? I miss you so much."_

Then there was the series of three postcards highlighting The Great Barrier Reef.

_ "Today in Cairns. Just another city without you. What am I going to do if you don't contact me when I get back home?"_

_ "Spent all day on a glass bottom boat out over the reef today. It's probably the most beautiful place on Earth, and I all could think about was you. What am I going to do?"_

_ "On my way to Sydney tomorrow. I can't believe this is practically over. I'm almost afraid to go back home. Will you be there?"_

_ "Sydney nightlife. Yes, I'm drunk. A pretty Oz girl wanted me. I'm so lonely I almost told her yes, but then wondered if you might be waiting for me when I get home. Please be waiting."_

_ "I'm writing this on the plane as I head back to the US. Still no messages or emails from you. How could I have gotten this all so wrong?"_

By the time Pam finished reading the last postcard, her tears were falling freely and heavily. The version of his Australian adventure had sounded so much nicer on the phone on Saturday. He clearly hadn't wanted to upset her. Why give these to her now? Deep down, she knew why. Because he wanted her to see the truth. He needed her to know just how much she had hurt him. How much her rejection of him had crushed him. And despite all of that, he had willingly come back into her life.

Pam sobbed bitterly. If there really was something called 'a moment of clarity,' Pam was experiencing it. She really understood for the first time tht she wasn't the only one who had been suffering for so long. She thought about all her guilt and pain, and these postcards allowed her to feel everything Jim had been carrying around, too. They'd been so close for such a long time, but still hadn't been able to understand or reach out to each other. Regret filled her heart so much she could practically taste it. At the same moment, however, she made the decision to let it go. She just knew that it's what Jim wanted when he left those postcards with her. Acknowledge it and move on. Move together.

She never loved anyone as much as she loved Jim at that moment. She was so lost in her feelings that the sound of her cell phone ringing made her jump. She knew who it was going to be.

"Hello?" Pam said. She knew she still sounded sniffily.

"Hey, what's up?" Jim's tone suddenly sounded concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she smiled. "I just was looking through some stuff that was left on my bed today."

"Oh," he replied, sounding cautious. "Anything interesting?"

She let out a low laugh. "You could say that. I don't think I've ever received anything that, well..." she was stumbling for the right words. "anything that's ever touched me so much. I really don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything right now if you don't want to."

"Well, I guess maybe 'Sorry I ruined your vacation' would be appropriate."

Jim finally laughed. "Not your fault."

"Next time I think I'll come along, if that's okay with you."

"That sounds more than okay to me," Jim replied, his voice sounded a bit rough.

She felt a rush of love at his reply. "Why did you just leave them here?"

He was silent for a few moments. "I needed you know." Jim replied softly.

The air hung heavy with so many things still left unsaid. "I wish you were here," she said quietly. "It would be easier to talk about this if you were here."

"We don't have to talk about it right now, Pam."

"But I want to," she sighed.

"It's okay," he soothed. "Nothing is going to change if we wait until we can be together to sort through things. Leaving those with you means I want to be with you, not that I'm trying to push you way somehow."

"I know," she said, feeling herself starting to cry again.

"Oh, Pam..." Jim felt anguished. "Please don't cry"

"Jim..." she sniffed in a very unfeminine manner. "I'm just so sorry. About everything."

"I know," he repeated. "I am too."

"Jim..." she faltered again.

"Hmm?"

She thought for a moment about how special she had wanted "that moment" to be. Then she looked at the postcards laid out on her bed like a photo mosaic poster for Australia.

"I love you, Jim," she said tearfully. "I love you so very, very much."

"Hey," he teased her softly, "You're going to get me crying too if you aren't careful."

She laughed amidst her tears. "But I do love you. I love, love, love you."

"So what exactly are you trying to say, Beesly?" He replied, his voice sounding much like a caress when he said her name. "I think you're purposely being a little vague here."

She couldn't help but giggle. "Oh, suck it, Halpert!"

"There, now that sounds like the girl I know. You had me worried for a minute."

"Can't you be serious for just a minute?" she asked, exasperated.

"Um, no, actually I can't," he replied his voice quieter.

"Why?"

"Because I can't be this far away from you and hear you say these things. Not for the first time. If I really think about what you're saying I'm going to walk right out of here and drive back to Scranton. And that would be kind of rude to my host." He paused for just a beat. "But I do love you, too."

They both remained quiet a moment, the feeling of mutual affection practically radiating between them despite the distance.

Jim finally broke the silence. "So what did you think of the souvenir?"

"What souvenir?"

"Check the envelope. I put more than just postcards in there. You would know that if you'd actually bothered to read the postcards."

"I did read them – all of them!" She protested with a laugh. She looked into the envelope, and shook its contents into her hand. A small square bundle tumbled out. "Found it," she told him.

Silence while Pam fumbled with the paper it was wrapped in.

"Well?" Jim asked impatiently.

"I'm getting there. Why are you calling me so early anyway? I thought you were busy with your ahem ex-girlfriend?"

"Oh, I am. We're back from dinner, but we are meeting some of her friends for a late movie. She's upstairs getting ready. I just thought you wouldn't mind my checking in."

She was pleased that he thought it mattered to call. "No, of course I don't mind, you dork."

"Nice," Jim grinned. "I can see I've made a smart decision in putting all my trust in you."

"Oh, you have," she replied, but she was only half-listening. She had unwrapped the square box, and opened the lid. Inside was a small gold charm. "Hey, I opened the box," she offered.

"...and?"

"It's very pretty. That's an opal, isn't it?"

"Yep, a native Australian opal."

"...and it's set in an...ostrich?" She asked with uncertainty.

"No, dork. It's not an ostrich, it's an emu."

"Oh, right – their one of Australia's symbols or something, right?"

"Yeah, I think so – but that's not why I bought it." Jim let out an exaggerated sigh. "I can't believe you don't get it, Beesly. Haven't you always wanted an emu?"

The significance suddenly hit her. "Oh. My. God!" And they both started laughing.

"That's so awesome!"

------------------------------------------------------------------

_It was the time Jim threw the barbeque party at his house for everyone at the office. (Well, except Michael, but he showed up anyway.) It was toward the end of the evening, when just about everybody except herself had gone home and Pam was starting to feel the warmth of the few beers she'd had. Jim had drunk a few himself, and by this time was making the most of his karaoke machine rental. She stood in the kitchen and watched him, quite enjoying the show. He really had a pretty decent voice, she thought, although he was playing it mostly for laughs. At one point he caught her laughing at him, and so he grabbed her arm and dragged her back to the microphone with him._

_"What do you want to sing, Beesly"_

_"Um, I don't want to sing anything, Jim"  
_

_ "Oh, come on – I need to get my money out of this thing. You pick a song or I will."_

_At this challenge, Pam picked up the song book and tried to find something that wouldn't be too painfully corny. Or too romantic. She didn't have the strength to go that route right now. Then her eye caught the title of one her favorite songs._

_"This one!" She practically squealed. "Let's do this one." Jim leaned over her shoulder to see what she'd chosen. "Ohh, nice choice, Beesly. I can truly say that song is probably on my list of 10 greatest songs ever."_

_"Mine, too!" she smiled. "But do you know the ad-libs lyrics as well?" She challenged._

_He pretended to look offended. "You really think I wouldn't know all the ab-libs to this song? Pam, I thought you of all people would know better. I can match you ad-lib for ad-lib any day of the week."_

_"Then bring it on, Halpert," she teased._

_He punched in the selection number and grabbed the microphone. Pam finished her beer (for courage, she thought) and stood close enough to Jim to share the microphone. Without a thought he put his right arm around her, and she pretended not to notice so she wouldn't have to object._

_"You want to sing lead or backup?" He asked. He was so close to her it felt like he had whispered it in her ear. This caused her to feel even dizzier than what the beer was responsible for, so she put her left arm around the back of his waist to steady herself. Or at least that's what she told herself. "Oh, backup, definitely," she said, smiling up at him. They continued to look at each other until the song started and broke the spell._

_Jim: If I had $1,000,000 _

_Pam: if I had $1,000,000 _

_Jim: Well, I'd buy you a house _

_Pam: I would buy you a house..._

_Pam would have bet serious money that she sang every line correctly, but when she tried to think back, there were only a few lines she remembered actually singing. Mostly she remembered feeling a fuzzy warm feeling, silly in the knowledge that Jim had said he loved this song as much as she did. She had no idea why that mattered, but at the time it seemed Seriously Important._

_Jim: If I had $1,000,000 _

_Pam: if I had $1,000,000 _

_Jim: I'd buy you a fur coat _

_Pam: but not a real fur coat, that's cruel _

_Jim: and if I had $1,000,000 _

_Pam: if I had $1,000,000 _

_Jim: Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet _

_Pam: Yep - like a llama or an emu..._

_She did clearly remember the last line of every chorus...  
_

_Jim: and if I had $1,000,000 _

_Both: I'd buy your love..._

_...because the first time she sang it she blushed and looked away. The next time she blushed but shyly looked up at Jim, then blushed harder when she noticed how intently he was looking at her. But his gaze was magnetic, and she soon found herself spending the rest of the song singing right to him._

_Pam: If I had $1,000,000 _

_Jim: Well, I'd buy you some art _

_Pam: a Picasso or a Garfunkel _

_Jim: and if I had $1,000,000 _

_Pam: if I had $1,000,000 _

_Jim: Well, I'd buy you a monkey _

_Pam: Haven't you always wanted a monkey?_

_Jim: If I had $1,000,000 _

_Both: I'd buy your love._

_They finished the song with their eyes locked, and lips inches apart from sharing the microphone. They still had their arms around each other. What Jim's next move could have been was lost to eternity when the silence was broken by Meredith's clapping._

_"You guys are awesome!" she raved. Neither Jim nor Pam had realized she had still been there, and at that moment the awkwardness was tangible._

_The next day the song entered Pam and Jim's repetoire of private jokes. Neither of them mentioned the undercurrent of emotion that had gone on during their duet, but in the light of day they felt comfortable enough to tease each other with the lyrics. Pam lost count of the number of times Jim would come up to her desk, pop a few jelly beans and simply say "Haven't you always wanted a monkey?" She laughed every single time._

--------------------------------------------------

"Haven't you always wanted a monkey?" Jim asked as the laughter subsided.

"Nah, I'm happy with an emu," Pam grinned. "This is the best present EVER. You're never going to be able to top this one."

"We'll see," was all Jim would reply. "I'm really glad you like it."

"Like it - I love it so much. I'm going start wearing it tomorrow."

"Hey, um, I think Wendy's motioning that we are going out now." Jim said apologetically.

"Oh, okay." She didn't mean to, but Pam knew her reply made her sound sad. She tried to sound more cheerful. "You guys go out and have a great time."

"Do you want me to call you later?" Jim said in a hushed tone. Pam imagined Wendy had walked into the room.

"You mean tonight?" Pam asked.

"Yeah. I mean, if it's not too late, or something."

"Yeah," she said, repeating his intimate tone. "You can call whatever the time."

She could swear she heard him smile. "You got it, Beesly."


	7. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 

Jim didn't remember much about the movie. He thought it had starred Bruce Willis, but maybe it was Nicolas Cage. There was some shooting going on throughout it, and at least 4 different naked women, each extremely necessary for plot advancement. Or so it seemed. Wendy's friends seemed nice, 3 women she worked with, plus the boyfriend of one of them. He only remembered who the boyfriend belonged to because they had been seated on his left and throughout the movie seemed completely preoccupied with disrobing each other. He couldn't help but wonder what finally getting to go to a movie with Pam would be like. Wendy had sat on his right, and had kept finding ways to touch him. She'd grab his arm when surprised or scared, or push her thigh against his when she'd shift in her seat. It all seemed relatively innocuous, but he was aware of it all the same.

When Jim was introduced to Wendy's friends outside the theatre, he shook hands and smiled. He'd even repeated their names back, which was always a good way for him to remember them later. But tonight, even the threat of death wouldn't have been enough to recall who the hell any of them were.

He wasn't trying to be rude. He was pretty sure a casual bystander wouldn't have noticed anything amiss in his manners. He smiled and laughed at the right times. He asked appropriate inane questions and nodded to their answers like he found them fascinating. He looked pleasant and sociable. But on the inside, he was a million miles away. Well, more like 187 miles away. He lost count of how many times he found himself playing and replaying bits of his last conversation with Pam in his head. What in the world was he doing in Philadelphia when the woman who loved him was in Scranton?

Yes. The woman who loved him. She had said so herself tonight. She'd said it several times, actually. It didn't happen the way he had often dreamed about it. For a start, his fantasy included the small detail of her telling him in person, not over the phone. She would finally admit how much she loved him, and he'd be able to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless. He'd had that picture so long in this heart that it almost felt like a real memory to him.

He'd also imagined that her confession of love would have been the result of something spectacularly wonderful he had done or bought for her. Like maybe he'd planned a romantic vacation abroad, and took her on a picnic to reveal his secret. They'd be sitting on the blanket, eating french cheeses and drinking french wine, and he'd give her a new sketchbook. When she'd open it, she would see 2 tickets to Paris, and some note he'd written asking her to draw the city for him when they went. Her eyes would sparkle with delight, she'd flash him one of those smiles that somehow still melted his heart after all this time. And then she'd reply with a passionate "I love you, Jim."

Funny how life never seems to work out that way. Instead of kissing her on a blanket in the park, he could only listen to her voice mingled with her tears. Instead of a trip to Paris prompting her declaration of love, it was a collection of heartbreaking postcards. For so long loving Pam meant devotion entwined with sadness. He thought perhaps it was all right that the prompt to confess her love for him be wrapped in the same emotions. He just wanted their future to be free of all that past suffering.

When they left the theatre, one of Wendy's friends suggested stopping for coffee somewhere. (Was that Becky? Or Miranda? Were any of them even named Miranda?) There was a cafe a short walk from the cinema, so they set off. Jim was still thinking of Pam, of what had been said. Suddenly he stopped in his tracks, almost literally. In the midst of this new development, he'd forgotten to do something very important. Assuring Wendy that he understood the directions to the cafe, he let them wander ahead. Jim had a very important call to make.

Jonathan Halpert answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Jon, it's Jim."

"Hey, what's up? I was wondering when you were going to call."

Jim seemed confused for a moment. It wasn't possible he already knew, was it? "What do you mean?"

"You are in Philly this week, right?"

"Yeah - I'm here now, actually."

"And I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you are calling to make sure we meet up while you are here in the city of BROTHERLY LOVE." He put emphasis on the last two words. "Right, BROTHER?"

Jim felt a stab of guilt. Even though he loved seeing his older brother, in the wake of this past weekend he had completely forgotten to set up plans to meet. At least, not until now. "Oh yeah, of course, Jon. That's why I'm calling."

"You always were a poor liar, Jim. What's going on?"

"I'm heading for coffee with Wendy and some of her friends. Any chance you could meet us?"

"Now?"

"Yeah - you aren't doing anything, right?"

"Nah, of course not. I exist only for your beck and call."

"Shut up."

"Is there something you're not telling me, Jim?"

"Why would you say that?" Jim grinned a bit.

"Because I know you. Are you in woman trouble again?" Jon teased, knowing full well there was only one woman Jim ever called to mope about.

"Heh. That would be a definite 'maybe'."

Jonathan sighed. "Give me the directions and I'll be there as soon as I can."

By the time Jim met back up with Wendy and her friends, they were just getting settled into a couch and chairs set they had claimed. Wendy had made a big deal about saving a seat on the couch next to her for Jim, so he had no choice but to graciously accept it. He wondered how he was going to get to talk to Jonathan given this arrangement.

He hadn't mentioned Pam to Wendy. He knew she was operating on what he had told her when he moved to Stamford - that he wasn't attached. When he arrived today it didn't seem necessary to disclose the new change. But now he wished he would have. She'd acted a little flirty with him from the start, but he wrote it off as just being friendly. When she had introduced him to her friends tonight, she had wrapped her arm through his, and left off any description of their relationship. Again, he didn't really think much of it.

But after her antics in the theatre, and now seated next to her in the coffee shop, he was starting to get slightly worried. Maybe he was just paranoid, but he couldn't be sure. She had already purchased a cappuchino for him, and when he sat down she gave him a welcoming hug. She then turned her body toward him and put one of legs cross his lap. So much for telling Pam not to worry, he thought wryly. He didn't see how he could object to the situation without it being very awkward, but resolved to stand up and move elsewhere once Jonathan arrived.

It was about 30 minutes later when Jim saw his brother enter the cafe. "Hey, Jonathan!" he called, gently disengaging himself from his job as Wendy's ottoman. He strided over, giving his brother a big hug. He lead him back to the group. "Guys, this is my brother, Jonathan"  
He gave a quizzical look at Wendy, "You've met him before, right?"

She looked at Jonathan for a moment, and then back at Jim. "Ah, yeah, I think so. Hi."

Jonathan nodded. "Oh, and this is everybody else," Jim said flippantly, waving his hand vaguely at Wendy's friends, trying to hide the fact that he still couldn't remember anyone else's name. "We'll be right back," he said, leading his brother to the service counter.

Standing in line for Jonathan's coffee, Jim couldn't hold back his news any longer. He leaned close to Jonathan and said in a low voice, "She loves me."

"Who? Wendy?"

Jim gave him an exasperated look. "No, idiot. Not Wendy."

"Who then?" Jonathan feigned ignorance. "Who loves you?"

"You know who."

Jonathan ordered his drink, and they moved down the line for pick-up. He paused, screwing up his face in thought. "Nope, sorry. Nobody comes to mind."

Jim elbowed his brother in the ribs. "C'mon, man. I'm trying to share some good news with you for a change."

Jonathan grinned. "And how would you have come across this information?"

Jim beamed. "She told me."

"Get out. She did not."

"She did indeed."

"When?"

"Today. Tonight. About 4 hours ago, actually." Jim looked down at his feet. He could actually feel himself blushing a little.

"Get the hell out."

"I know." Jim smiled.

Jonathan's drink was ready, so they headed back to the group. "You are giving me every single fucking detail before this night is over," he told Jim, his delight at the news evident.

They all sat around in the cafe for about another hour. Jonathan was an enjoyable addition to the party, and by the time the decision to leave was made it seemed like he had attracted the attention of both of Wendy's single friends.

"Yeah, it was great to meet you all. We'll definitely have to do this again," Jonathan said as they walked out the door. He looked at Wendy for a moment. "Hey, would you mind if I drive my brother back to your house? I've got some stuff in my car I've been meaning to give back to him."

Wendy looked briefly annoyed for a second, then composed herself and smiled. "Sure thing. I'm sure Jim can find his way back to my house, right?"

Jim nodded, and they parted company. Jim had barely shut the passenger's door when Jonathan turned to him. "Okay, spill it."

"Are you going to start driving?"

"In a minute. I want to hear how you appear to have finally won the heart of the fair Pam Beesly." Jonathan smirked. "Especially given that you told me on Saturday you had only just started to talk to her again. What the hell happened in 2 days?"

"What can I say?" Jim grinned, shrugging. "The Halpert charm finally sunk in."

Jonathan snorted. "Yeah, after three and a half years." He started the car. "Now tell me what really happened."

Jim gave Jonathan the driving directions, then paused. "Well you already know how we started talking again," Jim began.

"Yeah, she emailed you on Thursday and you emailed and talked on Friday," Jonathan nodded. "You told me all that on Saturday."

"Okay, I'm getting there," Jim smirked. "We did end up talking again on Saturday, although it was a lot later than planned because she had fallen asleep right before she was going to call."

"You're kidding?"

"No, I'm afraid I am not kidding."

"Wow. Sounds like she was eager to talk to you again."

"Hey - do you want to know the details or not?"

"Fine. Go on."

"So we started talking at 10pm and finally hung up sometime around 2am or so."

"What did you talk about for four hours?"

"Things," Jim replied noncommittally. "We've been apart a while, or have you forgotten?"

"Please. As if you'd let me," Jon groaned. He smiled at his brother, "But go on."

"Well, I woke up early Sunday morning, and decided to go see her."

"Did she ask you to come up?"

"No, actually she said I shouldn't."

"And you went anyway?"

Jim nodded.

Jonathan was clearly surprised. "Jesus, Jim. When did you grow a pair?"

Jim punched him in the arm. "Shut up, Jon."

"No, seriously," Jonathan went on. "That's amazing. I really can't believe you did that!  
What did she do?"

Jim smiled at the memory. "Ah, she was happy to see me."

Jonathan shared the smile. "Man, I am beyond thrilled for you. You know that." He raised an eyebrow. "So, just how happy was she?"

Jim laughed. "You're a pig."

"Hey, I'm just asking."

Jim ran his hand through his hair. "It wasn't like that." He smiled again, "It was really nice."

"I'll bet. So you stayed all day Sunday?"

"Yeah. I was going to leave Sunday night to come down here, but then she asked me to stay."

"Always a good sign," Jonathan joked. "Did you get to the hot and heavy monkey sex then?"

"Like I'd tell you if I did."

"So that's a no," Jonathan laughed. "But you did sleep in her bed, right?"

John looked out the window and couldn't help blushing a little. "What is with you tonight? How is any of that your concern?"

"Hey, I'm invested in this relationship, too!" Jonathan complained. "After all the pining I've had to listen to from you, I think I deserve to hear the good stuff, too."

"Hey, putting up with the crap is what brothers are for."

"Well I'm just saying a little payback would be appreciated."

Jim laughed. "You know I appreciate how much you've put up with me, Jon." Jonathan didn't reply. Jim looked out the window again. "Fine," he said, "But you didn't hear it from me."

Jonathan glanced at him. "Nothing to hear about, from what I understand."

"We, um...well, we haven't...you know." Jim did not believe he was having this conversation. "But there certainly were some, um, interesting moments." His eyes had a faraway look in them. "I swear I didn't really appreciate how much I had missed her until we were back together. Jon, she's just fucking amazing."

Jonathan laughed at his brother's discomfort. "God, you are so gone. You're never going to dig yourself out of this one, are you?"

Jim grinned, "I don't intend to, no."

"Thank God. It's about time we had a happy ending around here." He looked at his brother again. "But when did she tell you she loved you? You said it was tonight..."

"Yeah. I called her before I went out with Wendy."

"She just said it out of the blue?" Jonathan looked confused.

"No, not exactly. Remember when I went to Australia? And those postcards I had written to her?" Jonathan nodded twice. "When I left Scranton this morning I left them on her bed for her to find."

"Christ. What possessed you do that?"

"She's changed, Jon. I mean, she's still Pam, but so much more so. She's so confident, and open about things, and well...this weekend we talked like we never had before. About important things. We were unbelievably honest with each other, and the trip felt like the only thing I was still keeping from her. I don't want there to be any more secrets between us. It really feels like we're starting fresh."

"Yeah, I can see how showing her how she crushed your heart and spirit would make her love you."

Jim made a face. "It wasn't my intent to hurt her. It's hard to describe."

"So what was her reaction?"

"When I called she was crying, which made me feel like a dick. But she seemed to get why I had left them. That's when she told me she loved me."

"Kinda sucks it was over the phone though, huh?"

Jim sighed. "You don't know the half of it."

"So why are you still here?"

Jim laughed, "You know I have to be here for a work conference tomorrow. If there were any possible way I could get out of it, you know I would. Besides, when she said it I basically told her I wasn't going to think about what she said since we were apart."

"Which you are so clearly doing. Good work on acting like she never said it."

Jim smiled for a moment, then took his phone out. "Hey, do you mind if I give her a quick call? I told her I'd call, and it's already really late."

"Do I need to pull over and get out so you two can be alone?"

"I think I can manage to hold off on the phone sex right now, if I have to," Jim replied as he dialed the number.

"Hey," Pam said, her voice husky from sleep.

"Hey there," Jim said. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"No, I told you to call." He could hear her yawning. "How'd your date with Wendy go?"

"Nice," Jim laughed. "and I appreciate you being so open minded about our relationship." He looked over at his brother. "Hey, guess who I'm with right now?"

"I'm assuming Wendy..."

"No, Jonathan's here." He held the phone out to his brother. "Say hi to Pam."

"Hey, hot stuff," Jonathan said, grabbing the phone out of Jim's hand. "I hear congratulations are in order."

Jonathan laughed loudly at whatever she had replied. "Yeah, well how do you think I feel? He's been a completely miserable jerk since the beginning of June..."

"Okay, I think we're done here," Jim said, grabbing the phone back. "Don't listen to a word he says, Pam. He's just crazed with jealousy."

"Oh, I don't know," Pam replied. "I did read those postcards, remember..."

"Touche." Jim laughed softly, "You doing okay, Beesly?"

"You mean besides lying here all alone in my bed wondering why you aren't here with me?"

"Well, yeah. Obviously."

"Oh, then I'm just dandy. Things go okay tonight?"

Jim thought briefly about Wendy's flirtations and thought it better to tell her later. "It's been okay. I'll tell you about it later."

"Nothing's wrong, is there?"

"Oh no, nothing to worry about."

"So what are you doing now?"

"Jon's giving me a ride back to Wendy's. I'll probably hang out with him later this week."

"Oh good. That sounds fun."

"You should join us."

"Don't tempt me, Halpert. It's only Monday and I'm more than ready for the weekend."

"Well you know you would be more than welcome."

"I miss you, Jim."

"I'm sorry I couldn't call you sooner. I was thinking about you all night."

Jonathan groaned and rolled his eyes, resulting in another punch from Jim. "Hey, I'll let you get back to sleep. I'll talk to you somehow tomorrow, once I know what to expect from this conference."

"Okay. Sleep tight, Halpert."

"You too, Beesly."

"Jim - "

"Hmm...?"

"I love you."

Jim glanced over at Jonathan, and stuck out his tongue defiantly as he replied to Pam. "I love you, too, Pam. Good night."

"What was that for?" Jonathan demanded laughingly as Jim turned off his phone.

"What was what for?"

"The sticking out your tongue. And the punch!"

"The punch was for you being rude. The other was a pre-emptive strike."

"'I love you, too, Pam'" Jonathan mocked faintly. Then he gave Jim a genuine smile. "I really am happy for you; for both of you. It's about fucking time you guys got it together. I can't wait to see how the holidays turn out with Pam with us to liven it up."

Jim smiled as he watched the street lights go by. He hadn't even thought about things like that yet. "Think our family will scare her away?"

"No, I have faith Pam will be more than up to the challenge. She's got you wrapped around her finger, doesn't she?"

"Sounded to me like you aren't exactly immune to her charm, either." Jim retorted.

"Worried about some competition, little brother?"

Jonathan had just pulled into Wendy's driveway. "You can dream, Jon," Jim grinned. "Thanks for the ride. I'll call you on wednesday?"

"Sounds good. And I'm serious, Jim: It's all good for you and Pam."

Jim smiled. "Thanks." He opened the car door and stepped out. "And it's not a good thing, Jon. It's a great thing."

"Yeah, well let me know when that hot monkey sex gets started - " Jon shouted as Jim shut the door on his brother's teasing face.

Jim shook his head and walked up the drive to Wendy's door. He was exhausted, and he had mixed feelings about the paper conference in the morning. He just wanted to get to bed, so he could stretch out and dream a bit about Pam. He didn't have a key to the door, but fortunately she'd left it unlocked. The hallway was dark, and he thought Wendy must have gone to bed. He climbed the steps and was turning the door handle to the guest room when he heard her speak.

"Hey, Jim - I wondered when you'd be back."

He turned around. "Sorry, Wendy - Jonathan's a bit of a chatterbox." She was standing in the doorway to her bedroom, her silhouette lighted by soft light spilling out from her bedroom. Jim opened the guest room door and reached in to flick on the light. He was a little uncomfortable with the idea that the only light on was the one in her bedroom.

"I'm sorry we haven't really had a chance to connect tonight," she said. "I probably shouldn't have invited my friends along. I felt like I had to share you all night."

"I've had a really nice time," Jim said, trying to ignore the warning sirens going off in his head. "I liked meeting your friends."

"Well you definitely made a good impression with them. You and your brother." Wendy continued to lean against the doorframe, not taking her eyes off him. "You want a drink?"

Jim shook his head slightly. "I shouldn't; I have a full day tomorrow at the conference."

"Right," she nodded.

Jim said good night and slipped into his room. He took a deep breath. There was no way he could have misinterpreted that conversation. He wondered how he was going to manage to stay with Wendy the rest of the week without something bad happening. He shook his head, as if he were trying to shake the whole problem from his mind. He undressed, and headed into the en-suite bathroom for a quick shower. He would worry about it tomorrow. If things were still awkward on Wednesday, he could always go stay with Jon.

When the warm shower water hit him, he stood with his back to the water and let the pulsating stream pound his shoulders. He reached back and turned the hot water up, until he could barely stand the heat. It felt refreshing, and drove out his worries about his accommodation. He ran the water over his hair, washed and rinsed it, and then turned to face the water.

The warmth of the water on his chest immediately sent images of Pam flowing into his mind. He couldn't resist bringing up the image of her kissing his chest. In fact, he closed his eyes and let himself himself revel in the memory. How soft her lips had been. How warm they felt moving across his body, a spark of even more heat when she would dart her tongue out to taste him. Her breath against his skin. He felt his skin tingle at the recollection, and he took a deep breath as he remembered the soft caress of her hand against his stomach,then his thigh that first night. It had turned playful to sensual in a matter of seconds, and it was better than he had ever dreamed it would be. He was surprised by her assertiveness, but it only heightened his desire for her.

His mind had released so many powerful feelings that almost without realizing it Jim had brought his hand down and began to stroke himself. If he concentrated, he could imagine himself back in Scranton with Pam. In the minutes that passed as he worked himself to climax, he didn't miss her quite so much. But as soon as he was finished, he was back to reality, standing alone under the shower head. He turned off the water, grabbed a towel to dry off, and couldn't decide if he now felt better or worse. There certainly was no comparison to the pleasure he had found surrending himself to her touch.

He wrapped the towel around his waist, and as he opened the door he wondered if it was too late to call her again. He could imagine Jonathan ribbing him for his wish to call her again just to tell her how much he loved her. But all thought processes stopped when he looked at his bed.

"Hi," Wendy said. "I was wondering how long you were going to be. Maybe I should have come in and helped."

Jim closed his eyes briefly. This cannot be happening to me, he thought. But he when he opened them up again, she was still there. Wendy was lying on his bed clad simply in underpants and what appeared to be a tight, faded Rolling Stones t-shirt. No, not awkward at all. He self-consciously placed a hand down to his towel, making absolutely sure that it stayed around him.

"Um, Wendy - " Jim choked. "This is a surprise."

She sat up, making the fact that she was wearing nothing under her t-shirt extremely obvious. "I seem to remember that you liked surprises."

Jim avoided looking at her. When plans to visit her had been made, no mention of romantic involvement was ever suggested. At the time he was just looking to fill the empty space were his heart used to be. He'd remembered having fun with Wendy in college, and she certainly seemed to still be an interesting companion. He wasn't coming here for a fling, but he wasn't planning on ruling it out. Anything to take his mind off his misery.

But now, well - this was just awkward and embarrassing. She was lovely, and he was sure many would consider him a fool for throwing away what was so obviously being offered. Offered without any sort of committment, either. And not including the trifles of this past weekend, when was the last time he'd had sex? But even though he heard these thoughts in his head, it was a non-issue with him.  
He wanted one woman. He'd waited for one woman. And he'd be damned if he was going to screw that up when she was just a breath away from finally being his completely.

Jim shook his head and finally looked at Wendy. "I'm sorry, but there's been some sort of misunderstanding," he began.

"Oh come on, Jimmy," Wendy said, getting off the bed. "I just want to have some fun." She walked over to him, and put her hand upon his bare chest. "Surely you would like a little fun?"

He stepped back as soon as she had touched him. He also remembered how much he hated being called 'Jimmy'. "Wendy, you don't understand. I am with somebody now."

She looked at him blankly for a moment. "So? I don't see her here tonight. All I want is tonight."

He shook his head again. "I'm sorry, Wendy. I can't."

"Wow, Jim, I don't remember you ever being a boy scout." She pouted up at him.

"I'm not sure what that even means," he replied, slightly annoyed.

She ignored his reply. "Don't you find me attractive?" She put her hand out again, running one of her nails against his chest and down his stomach toward the towel he was still holding around him. He jumped as if he'd been scorched.

"It's not about that," he said trying to put some distance between them. "I just couldn't possibly be with anyone else. I'm sorry."

She shook her head sadly, "Yeah, I'm sorry, too. I would have made it nice for you. I hope you know what you are letting walk out of here."

She looked at him for a moment, waiting to see if she'd begun to change his mind at all. But Jim just looked out the window. Finally she made a noise of extreme disapproval and walked out.

He went to the closed door, and to his relief found it did have a lock. Sliding it in place he thought Wendy would never even begin to understand how this wasn't even a decision for him. He could appreciate another woman's beauty or style, but there was only one woman he wanted in his bed. He sighed, knowing that probably someday he'd find this scene amusing. He wondered if Pam would, too.


	8. Chapter 15

Pam hated when she woke up in a bad mood. It usually meant things went downhill from there. She'd had a dream last night, a nightmare really, where Jim had left her days before their wedding for some beautiful woman he met in Australia. She tried in vain to find him, to find out exactly why he wanted the other woman, but she couldn't find him. In addition she was upset because she knew she'd never get the money back for the karaoke machine rental. 

It was a ridiculous dream, based on a mishmash of yesterday's events, and she knew that. But knowing it was only a dream didn't seem to lift her mood any. The only smile of her morning came when she remembered she wanted to wear her new necklace. Taking the box off her nightstand, she remembered their conversation. Opening the box and gently lifting out the pendant, she thought about how she'd finally been brave enough to say the words that summed everything up between them. She'd finally told him that she loved him. Funny how saying what was already so obvious to her really did matter. He had teased her when she said it, but she knew what it meant to him to hear it finally. As she touched the gold emu against her chest, she looked forward to seeing Jim again soon. She wanted to see the look in his eyes when she told him she loved him, and kiss the smile that surely would be there.

When she walked into work she was reminded of another reason to be less than chipper: her date tonight. Kelly was in earlier than usual, and she was standing at reception waiting for Pam.

"Are you excited about tonight?" Kelly practically pounced on her at the door.

"I'm not awake enough to be excited about anything."

"Well, you will be. Tom is so great. I know we are going to have a blast tonight."

Pam just nodded and headed for the kitchen. Kelly followed, talking about where she had made reservations and what kind of food it served, and how Pam should make sure she didn't order anything too messy or too smelly.

"You want to keep yourself kissable at all times," she emphasized.

Pam groaned inwardly. She knew this was going to be a disaster. Getting her tea, she went back to her desk. She was surprised to see so many people in the office this early in the morning. She checked the clock to make sure it wasn't because she was late again, but she wasn't. Michael and Dwight were getting ready to head down to the Mid-Market Office Supply Convention, and there seemed to be a great deal of commotion needed to get this accomplished. Pam just wanted to be left alone with her tea. She felt a headache coming on,  
which only added to her grimness.

"Well, we're just about set to leave for Philadelphia," Michael said, appearing in front of her desk. "Any message you'd like for us to pass along to Jim?"

Pam's eyes shot up to Michael's face. "Um..." Pam stammered. It wasn't a question she had been prepared for. Had she been feeling better, she was sure she could have come up with a secret message, but as it was her mind was completely blank.

"Um." Michael replied. "Dwight, Pam wants us to tell Jim 'Um.'"

"Um." Dwight repeated. "Got it, Michael."

Fortunately they were indeed on their way out the door. She wasn't sure she could have taken any more of their damn exuberance. Pam finally had a chance to check her email. Maybe that would cheer her up.

Her day seemed to finally be taking a turn for the better when she saw an email from Jim's brother Jonathan.

**Ms. Beesly,**

**How's everything in Scranton?**

**So just how long am I going to have to wait to hear from you on the latest developments? Did I really have to hear it from my own brother that you and he have finally come to your senses?**

**I thought I meant something to you, Pam. I really did. ;-)**

**Seriously though, I know you guys have taken the long way around, but I have no doubt it's been worth it. I'm pretty sure Jim thinks the sun rises and sets on you, but I'll deny it vehemently if you tell him I told you.**

**I guess the main thing I want to say is that I can't imagine anyone as perfect for my brother as you, and if I'm happy it's not only for what you two have finally pieced together, but because I'm looking forward to having you in the family. I'm always here if you need me, and while I have no doubts wedding bells will be ringing one day for you two, I'd like to assume the role of brother immediately, if that sits well with you. Hope to see you soon.**

**Love,**

**Jonathan**

Pam nearly had a tear in her eye from his kind words. She read his email over again, and couldn't help but feel her heart skip when she reread 'I have no doubts wedding bells will be ringing one day..." She blushed at the thought. _Let me just get through one week with your brother first,_ she thought. _I'm still working on making it that far._

Pam had met Jonathan a few years ago when he showed up at the office to meet up with Jim. Of course she and Jonathan hit it off immediately - how could they not have? He was so much like Jim. Of course, it was easier to talk about some things with Jonathan because he didn't stir up confusing and wistful feelings like Jim did. He had guessed at her feelings for Jim even before she was willing to put a name to them, and had never made her feel badly for the unenviable position she'd been caught in. He sometimes was frustratingly vague when she'd asked him about what to do about Jim, but she knew it stemmed from his deep loyalty to his brother. She respected him for that, and it assured her that anything she told him stayed in his confidence. She hadn't talked to him since before Jim transferred to Stamford, but there had been plenty of times she had wanted to, and even a few times she got as far as dialing his number. But before it could ring she'd hang up in a panic, not sure what she even wanted to tell him.

Before she could compose a reply, Kelly was up at her desk again. "Here," Kelly said, "I brought this for you to read today. There's a great article on the 10 best ways to make a good first date impression." She handed Pam a thick, glossy, Cosmo-type magazine. The front of it showed a heavily bosomed blonde in a red deep v-necked sweater. "The Love & Sex Issue" the cover boasted.

"Thanks," Pam said unenthusiastically.

Kelly went back to her desk and Pam leafed through the first few pages of the magazine. She had absolutely no desire to make a good first date impression, but maybe she'd read the article so she'd know what NOT to do. When she got to the table of contents, she was amused by some of the article titles:

Let's Get It On: Lingerie that takes it to the next level

Bucking For A Promotion: The best way to make a move on your boss

Takin' It To The Streets: Unusual sex rendezvous

Running Hot, Running Cold: are you sending the wrong signals?

Quiz Bonus: Is he really that into you? Are you really that into him?

Flannel Pajamas: What are you really afraid to share?

With Michael and Dwight out of her hair for the day, Pam decided to goof off a bit by taking the quizzes. She stared with the one that would tell her if 'He was really into her'. 20 questions later and it was confirmed: Jim was apparently completely into her. The results made her giggle, pleasing her more than it should have, given how little faith she had in such quizzes.

Next she thought she should make sure she was into him. Again, 20 questions probed her deepest feelings and actions and judged that yes, she was in deep. Whew, she thought. I'm glad this quiz was here to reassure me.

She realized that she hadn't heard from Jim yet, so she used the quizzes as an excuse to send him an email.

**Jim,**

**I hope you've gotten through the conference registration okay. How many people showed up to talk about the wonders of office supplies? What sort of free stuff are you getting? I want dibs on any colorful post-it note cubes you get.**

**I've completed two very serious magazine quizzes this morning, and thought you should know the results.**

**First I took "Is he that into you?" The results said:**

**"Good news. Based on your quiz responses, this guy is definitely into you. He seems to really care about you and see a future together. If you feel the same way, now is the time to share your feelings and start building something special together."**

**So does that match what you think? Are you that into me? ;-)**

**Next I took "Are you that into him?" I said:**

**"Baby, you have something more precious than diamonds: totally legit love. If he were to dump you tomorrow (the horror!), you'd mourn his scent, his kisses, even his completely ridiculous sense of humor. In fact, you're so enamored, you'd still be rip-his-pants-off attracted to him even if he lost his job or his looks took a nosedive."**

**Heh - I did struggle on the question that asked if I'd still love you if you lost all your hair. I mean, seriously, it's one of my weaknesses when it comes to you. I've always loved your hair. (Yes, I did check the 'would still love him' box. I'm just saying it was close.) ;-)**

**Let me know what your hotel room number is. Maybe if you're good you'll find a surprise there tonight. (Or maybe not.)**

**Your brother emailed me this morning. Just what did you tell him?**

**Oh, and I had an awful dream last night, which resulted in waking up in a completely foul mood. It was heightened by Kelly's cheerleading over tonight's date, but your brother's email helped cheer me a bit. I wish you were here so I could tell you about the dream. It was too stupid to tell you about in email. I don't want any incriminating evidence floating around in cyberspace.**

**Call or text me when you can.**

**Love,  
Pam**

**P.S. Oh, and I'm wearing my Emu necklace today. No one's noticed it, but I know its there. I love you.**

She decided she might as well write Jonathan too.

**Jonathan -**

**I'm writing you from my personal email account so you'll have the address for future use. It was wonderful to get your email. I was having a bit of a bad morning, but as usual you arrived and cheered me up.**

**To be honest, I've always kind of thought of you as my brother anyway. Granted, that was wishful thinking, so it feels good that now I can call it the truth.**

**I look forward to see you soon, too.**

**Love,  
Pam**

That done she went back to the magazine. She ended up skimming the dating tips article, and found out that what she needed to do tonight was to talk obsessively about herself, completely forget her table manners, and demand sex at the end of the night.

She figured she was up for everything except the last one. She smirked to herself imagining Jim's reaction if she said she was planning on that one. Jim was to his credit a pretty laid back guy, but he'd been edgy about her just going on a date that they both knew was bogus.

The thought of Jim behaving jealously flattered her a bit, but she knew she'd never purposely do anything to attract it. She felt there was still much to do in building their mutual trust back up, and she didn't want to be responsible for any more misunderstandings. While she had tried to push it out of her mind now that things had taken a turn for the good, she knew she wasn't completely healed from the wounds they had inflicted on each other in their separation. She guessed he probably wasn't whole yet either. She felt a yearning to keep him safe and make everything up to him. She wondered if he felt that way at all.

She didn't do much more than browse through the ads, until she stopped at an article that really caught her attention. The title was nearly painful to read, but the contents struck her as uncomfortably familiar.

I have a headache: when you love the man but avoid the sex. Ugh, Pam thought. Could that get any cheesier? Reading on, the point of the article seemed to be that sometimes not wanting sex wasn't because you weren't in love or attracted to the man. It was, it said, because you were repressing feelings of anger or had a situation that hadn't been properly dealt with. Even if you thought you were over a particular problem, if deep down you felt you hadn't been heard, or your opinions were ignored, you might still be harboring resentment, and it might showing up in the bedroom.

Sighing, Pam flipped the page. What a bunch of psychobabble, she thought. Whatever. Besides, it's not that she wasn't interested in sex. She was just taking it slow. I mean, what was the rush, she thought defensively. It took how long just to get together? Why did they have to rush right to the end of the story? The article clearly didn't apply to her. They were talking again, were pretty much together as a couple. What was there to be angry about anymore?

Pam threw the magazine to the other side of her desk and got up. She was disturbed by the article's assumption that if you weren't content to fuck mindlessly everytime you were together, something had to be wrong. And there wasn't anything wrong, was there? She went back to the kitchen to make more tea.

Pam felt depressed for most of the morning. She was still thinking about that crazy, ridiculous dream. Even though she knew it was just a dream, she was feeling just a little insecure today. She tried to focus on the mundane tasks she had in front of her, but that was only making the problem worse. In addition to the dream, that article she had read was still on her mind. She knew there were still things she hadn't confessed to Jim, things that had hurt her very deeply. But the chance to connect again had drowned out those things, made them seem not important anymore. But maybe they did. Maybe there was something she still needed to stay, questions she still wanted to ask.  
She just wasn't sure if she was brave enough to rock the boat and ask them.

One of the worst things about Jim transferring to Stamford was that she no longer had anyone to really talk to when she was in moods like this. She'd started to hang around Kelly more, but this was certainly not a matter she would confide in her about. Kelly friendship was nice, but ultimately superficial. When Pam was feeling this way, there was only on person who could make her feel better.

She was a little sad that she hadn't heard from Jim now that it was approaching lunchtime, but she knew he probably wasn't in a position to call. She had no doubts that he would when he could. That still didn't mean she didn't missed him. Taking the risk he was busy, she decided to text him anyway.

She send the following message: KNOW YOU'RE BUSY; JUST MISSING YOU.

She sighed and put her cell phone on her desk next to her monitor, just in case he could reply. She contemplated emailing Jonathan again, but was interupted by a call on the office line. Her heart jumped, hoping it was Jim. It was just a transfer to Dwight's voicemail.

She turned back to her computer, and noticed the light flashing on her cell phone. It was a text from Jim.

NEVER 2 BUSY 4 U. TALK IN 15 MIN?

She grinned. It was just like him to use abbreviated message speak. He did that when they used to IM at work, and she used to give him a hard time about it. It didn't take that much longer to spell things out correctly. After a while she was pretty sure he did it because it bugged her. What he didn't know was that after a while it became endearing because she knew he was doing it on purpose, just to tease her. For so long in their relationship, teasing was their secret language of love.

She replied: THANKS. I LOVE YOU.

She went to the restroom to splash some water on her face and make sure her hair still looked okay. She knew it was a bit silly, considering he wasn't even going to be able to see her, but she indulged herself. She was about to walk out when Kelly entered.

"Hey - we're halfway through the day!"

"Yeah, just about," Pam replied quietly.

"Are you sure you aren't going to change after work for your big date?" Kelly hadn't been able to hide her disappointment that Pam wasn't going to get all dolled up.

"No, this is just fine." Pam shrugged, "Either he'll like me as I am or he won't." Suddenly her cell phone rang. She quickly brushed past Kelly. "See you later."

She stopped in the kitchen to answer her phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, how are you?" His voice sounded so good to her ears.

"I've been better," she said truthfully. "How are things going there?" She walked back to her desk to get away from potential eavesdroppers.

"Eh. Michael seems weirder than usual. Good to see Dwight's still Dwight. The first thing he asked me was how much I've been selling"  
His voice lowered. "So what's on your mind, Beesly?"

The sound of warmth and concern in her voice brought her immediately to the brink of tears, which was the last thing she wanted. "It's nothing, really. I'm just having a bad day."

"In what way?"

"It's hard to talk about it here." She paused for a moment. "I really don't want to go on that date tonight."

"Then don't go."

"I have to; I fear facing Kelly more than this Tom guy."

"Well, maybe you can go, then feel unwell and leave early."

"Yeah, maybe."

"Hey," he soothed, "I wish I was there to cheer you up."

"Yeah, me too. Sorry to be such a downer."

"No problem. That's what I'm here for."

"I should let you get back to your office supplies." she said, trying to sound more cheerful.

"Don't do that, Pam. If it's helping, just keep talking. I told them I had to go back to my room for something. I've got all the time you need."

"You've got 50 years?"

Jim laughed. "Yeah, and more if you want me."

Pam blushed. She had said that to be funny, but Jim's reply was anything but.

"Yeah," was all she could manage to reply. "What are you doing later tonight?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Get this: Michael is planning to have a party in his room."

"Of course he is. Why doesn't this surprise me? You are going to go?"

"I at least have to go and witness the carnage. This is Michael, after all."

"True."

"Remember to call me as soon as you get out of that date. I can use it as my excuse to get out of there and head back to my room. Unless of course you just want to meet me here."

"I'm not sure my mother would approve of me meeting guys in hotel rooms," she teased, glad that he made a point to let her know he was missing her. "How's Wendy?"

Jim was quite for a moment. "Ah, she's fine. I'll tell you about that when I see you next."

"That doesn't sound good."

"It's nothing to worry about. Really."

"Okay, but I'm not sure I believe you. You sounded weird when I mentioned her last night, too."

Jim chuckled. "Not fair, Beesly. You know me too well. But honestly, it's nothing for you to worry about. Just a funny story I'd rather tell when we are together, okay?"

"Hmm." she pretended to pout. "You didn't have sex with her, did you?"

"No!" he said, slightly too eager. "I can promise you I didn't have sex with her."

"God, I was just teasing you, Halpert. You're starting to sound guilty."

"Well, I didn't. I'm not." Now it was his turn to try and change the subject. "You sure you don't want to tell me why you are having such a bad day? I told you I've got the time."

"Well..." Pam stalled.

"I'm not going to be able to concentrate in these meetings if I think you're sitting at work moping."

"I'm not moping!"

"Well whatever. Tell me what's wrong."

Pam sighed. "Well, I had a stupid dream that put me in a bad mood, and since then I guess I've just been dwelling on the negative."

"What was the dream about?"

"You'll think it was stupid."

"Probably, but I still want to know. Just spill it, Beesly."

"Well," she paused. "I dreamt that you left me for some woman you met in Australia."

Jim tried not to laugh. "Is that all? Does that even seem like a possibility to you?"

"Well, you didn't just leave me, you left me just a few days before our wedding."

"Oh, Pam," he said softly.

"The funny part was that I was also terribly upset because I wasn't going to get the deposit back on the karaoke machine we'd rented."

Jim laughed. "Now that I can completely understand being upset over."

She smiled. "You're making fun of me now."

"Maybe," his voice deepened again. "But you know nothing like that would ever really happen, Beesly. There's no one I want to be with more than you. You know that."

"I told you it was stupid."

"Not stupid, just not possible." He sounded quite serious for a minute. "Trust me, Pam, if we ever reach that point in our relationship, I can promise you I'd be waiting for you at the alter. I'm not going to leave you. You feel a bit better now that you told me?"

Pam blushed. "Yeah, a little."

"Good. Well, just spend thing the rest of the day thinking about all the ways I'd be trying to make you feel better if I was there."

Pam smiled devilishy, looking around briefly to make sure no one was in listening distance. "And what exactly would you be doing?" She said in a half-whisper.

Jim laughed again. "I guess I asked for that, didn't I? I think I'll just leave it to your imagination and you can tell me what you came up with tonight."

"Coward," she joked.

"No," he protested. "I just have to go back downstairs and it will be easier if I'm down there walking around without"  
he paused. "..inappropriate images in my mind."

"Oh, but it's okay if I've got them?"

"Sure." Jim grinned. "You're hidden behind your desk. Who knows what you could get away with back there."

Pam laughed. "Okay, well I think it's time for you to go."

"So we're okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't we be?"

"Just checking. I love you, Pam. I want you to know that you that I always want to hear about what's bothering you. And there's no mystery woman from Australia to worry about."

"Thanks." She checked for bystanders again. "I love you, too, Jim."

She put down the phone and looked thoughtfully at the magazine that was still on her desk. She thought that maybe she would be brave and sort out some last issues on her mind next time she saw him.


	9. Chapter 16

She slipped into Michael's office and shut the door behind her. She couldn't take the chance she'd be overheard. 

She listened while the phone rang twice before he picked up. He must have noticed the caller ID. "Hey, Pam, what's up?" She could hear lots of talking in the background.

"Hey, Jim - have a minute?"

"Sure. Just hold on." She heard a muffling sound, like he'd covered the mouthpiece with his hand. Suddenly she didn't hear much background noise any more. 'Still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Where are you?"

"Down in the dining area. Are you heading out on your date now?"

"Fairly soon. I wanted to tell you that I'm going to leave my phone on, but the alert will be set to vibrate instead of sound. So feel free to text me at anytime."

"Great." She heard him smile. "I'll have my phone with me all night, so text me during the date. I want the play-by-play, Beesly."

"You can count on it, Halpert." She heard Kelly's voice. "Shit, Kelly's looking for me."

She heard Jim laugh. "Are you sure you really want to go through with this? You don't have to go, you know. I mean, in case you forgot, you aren't available anyway."

"Oh, I'm not?" she teased. "Who says I'm not?"

"I do," Jim grinned. "I seem to remember being told not that long ago that I belonged to you. I daresay that works both ways, Beesly."

She smiled. "It does, Jim. It does."

"Well, try not to forget it tonight, okay?"

"Not likely, Halpert. I am protected from all unwanted advances by my Emu opal necklace."

"Damn straight, Beesly. An Emu can stomp a man to death."

Pam giggled. "I will keep that in mind." She heard Kelly call her name again. "Okay, I really have to go now. I'll talk to you soon."

She hung up and walked out of Michael's office to face her doom. She met up with Kelly and Ryan, and when Kelly suggested they all drive together to the restaurant, Pam was able to convince her that she really needed to drive separate.

"Oh, I get it." Kelly nodded. "In case you want to go off with Tom after dinner, you'll still have your own ride home in the morning." Kelly thought Pam was making a wise first date move. Pam was just glad she had an escape route. She still wasn't confident she'd be able to make it through dinner. One look at Ryan's face as they headed toward their cars almost made her laugh, as he seemed even less excited about the evening than Pam was.

They met Tom at the restaurant at 6pm. The place was nice enough, but it was no Steinman's Pam mused. Tom was even less impressive, Pam thought. But then again she couldn't help but compare him to Jim. Jim was tall and lanky where Tom was average height at best. He wasn't overweight, but he definitely looked like he spent most of his life in front of a desk. Pam couldn't picture Tom looking anywhere near as good playing basketball as Jim did. They shook hands, and his handshake was limp. Ugh, Pam thought. This is getting better and better. Once inside Pam excused herself to use the restroom. She went into a stall to prevent Kelly from interrogating her.

She texted Jim: MET TOM. YOU'RE HOTTER.

She walked out of the stall and checked her hair and outfit in the mirror. Before even getting out of the restroom her phone buzzed in her cardigan pocket.

DETAILS?

She quickly replied. AVERAGE SAY IT ALL. LIMP HANDSHAKE.

Tucking her phone back in her pocket, she joined the group at their booth. Tom stood up and let her slide into the far seat. It irritated Pam because now she was trapped in the booth. She figured since she wasn't out to make a favorable impression, she'd just try to discretely text at the table and leave it at that.

The waitress had just left to fill their drink orders when she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket again. She couldn't help but make a small smile, because it felt like she was hiding Jim in her pocket. She put her right hand into her left pocket and opened the phone under the table. Looking to make sure she wasn't being watched, she read the message.

MADE ANY MOVES ON U YET?

She grinned. Looking up, she saw Ryan looking at her. Kelly, however, was oblivious and continuing to comment on how much Tom and Pam had in common. So far Pam had yet to see any of it. Yes, he drew cartoons for the local paper, but he was hardly Stephan Patis or Darby Conley. Hell, he wasn't even Scott Adams.

Still, Pam got Tom talking about his work, because it was clear it was the topic he knew best. As he continued rambling on about his 'craft', Pam typed a message back to Jim.

YES, HE'S BORING ME TO DEATH.

When the appetizers arrived, Tom was still going on about his comic strip. He had started to draw examples on the cocktail napkins. At one point he laughed at his own joke, and talked about how edgy he liked to be, even in such a conservative paper. When Pam felt her phone vibrate again, she excused herself to use the restroom again. She felt a plan coming on.

Jim had written: IS HE GETTING LUCKY TONIGHT?

It was such a ridiculous question that she laughed outloud. Fortunately there wasn't anyone else in the restroom to doubt her sanity.

OF COURSE HE IS!

She smiled evilly. That's what he gets for such a question. His reply was almost instantaneous.

WHAT?

She replied: DON'T ASK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW. :-P

She looked in the mirror before walking back out. She saw the face of someone caught in competely the wrong place. This whole evening was a farce, and suddenly she just wanted it to end. She started to think of a way to get herself out of this. If she could leave soon, maybe she could drive down to Philadelphia.

The idea hit her completely out of the blue. Philadelphia? That was at least 2 hours away. But she couldn't deny how appealing the idea sounded. On the one hand it was completely crazy - drive two hours just to spend a few hours with Jim. On the other hand, she'd spend time with Jim. She shook her head, trying to argue for logic. It would be completely crazy to do something like that. But a voice inside her argued harder: how incredible would the look on Jim's face be when he saw her? What it really that crazy an idea? She thought about how she could tell him that she loved him in person. And maybe they'd have some time to talk about things Pam hadn't been able to talk to him about yet.

She looked back at herself in the mirror, and made a choice. As far as crazy ideas went, it was pretty tame. But for Pam, this was probably the most adventurous thing she'd considered in a long, long time. Maybe ever. And in the moment she knew she had to do it.

She walked back into a stall and waited a little while. She decided that she was going to wait until Kelly came into check on her, and then plead illness to end the night early. Hell, she'd even promise to reschedule and worry about that part later. She looked at her watch; it was just coming up to seven o'clock. If she was lucky she could get out of there, stop at home for some things, and be back on the road within 30 minutes. With any luck she could be at the hotel by 10pm.

She leaned against the wall, feeling a bit lightheaded. To calm herself she started to make a list of things she would need to bring. She was interupted by her cell phone's vibrations.

UPDATE, BEESLY!

Oh, I've got an update for you, she thought. But unfortunately you'll have to wait. She thought she heard someone enter the restroom, so she quickly replied.

STILL AT DINNER. KISS

There, that'll hold him until I get out of here, she smiled. She stuffed the phone in her cardigan, then turned and flushed the toilet so as not to make it seem suspicious that she'd been in there so long. She assumed a look of nausea, and put her hand to her stomach for good effect. It was all for nothing when she realized that Kelly hadn't been the one to come in.

She decided that she couldn't wait any longer. She assumed her previous look of illness, and slowly walked out of the restroom. She approached the booth from the side that Kelly could see her first. When Kelly noticed her, she waved her over.

"Pam! What's the matter? You look awful!" Kelly looked so concerned Pam almost felt guilty.

"I'm so sorry, Kelly," Pam murmured. "I must be coming down with something. I really think I need to go home."

"Oh, no. How horrible is that? Do you want Tom to take you home?"

"No!" Pam nearly shouted. "I mean, if this is the flu, I wouldn't want him to get it, you know? I'll be fine to go home myself. Just tell him I'm really sorry. Maybe we can do this again some other time."

Kelly gave Pam a gentle hug and walked her past their table. "Guys, Pam's not feeling well, so I'm going to walk her to her car. I'll be right back."

At Pam's car, Kelly gave her a hug again. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Oh, that's okay," Pam replied. "I'll probably just go right to bed. I'll call you tomorrow if I don't make it into work, okay?"

Kelly nodded and helped her in the car.

"Thanks, Kelly," Pam said, genuinely feeling guilty for lying. "You're a really good friend."

Pam pulled out of the parking lot slowly. Some day I'll tell you what really happened, she silently promised. As soon as the restaurant was out of sight, Pam sped up as fast as she thought she could get away with.

At her apartment she breezed in and began to pack an overnight bag. She grabbed some jeans and a shirt for tomorrow, and a sweatshirt in case she was cold. She reached for her sheep pajamas - always a Halpert favorite, she grinned - and a change of underwear. She was gathering the other usual essentials when she spied something else in her lingerie drawer. Despite Jim's suspicion that it didn't exist, Pam reached for her red silk nightdress. She had purchased it ages ago, but had worn it only once. And that was one night when she was alone and just wanted to feel pretty. It was just above knee-length on her, with soft wide straps, and fairly conservative cut. Not much skin showed except her arms, but it just felt so luxurious. She had made up the bit about the matching thong panties, though. It actually came with matching silk shorts, but she didn't think that sounded as sexy. Unfortunately for Jim she was someone who always chose comfy over sexy when it came to clothes. Still, if the moment was right, she was sure he'd find this a sexier choice over the sheep pjs.

She didn't waste much time packing the remainder of items and was soon heading south on Interstate 476. She grabbed her phone to check the time, and noticed she had received another text from Jim during all her rushing around.

DINNER OVER YET?

She smiled. She felt the exhileration of doing something that was so completely unlike her. Well the Pam she used to be, anyway. She never would have considered doing something this spontaneous before, and she had to admit she loved how freeing it felt. She wondered briefly how differently the Casino Night might have turned out if she had been this person back then. But she pushed the thought out of her head. It doesn't matter any more, she told herself. What matters is what's now. She remembered that Jim had never given her his room number. While her plan of action when she arrived was still pretty vague, having his room number was probably one of the important parts.

NEARLY DONE, BUT MOVIE NEXT. WHAT's YOUR RM #?

She grinned as she sent the message off, finding more than a little amusement in letting him believe she would certainly be in Scranton for most of the night. She knew she could count on him not even considering the possibility that she might drive down to surprise him. He might wish it, but he'd never suspect she'd do it. That's what's making me feel so excited, she thought. The look of surprise is going to be amazing.  
She tried to ignore the little voice that mentioned she was just as excited about bringing along her red nightdress; maybe a look of surprise wasn't all she was after.

She turned on the radio and sang along to pass the time as she drove. She felt incapable of staying within the speed limit; every time she looked at her speedometer she was at least 10 miles over. She finally just decided worry less about slowing down and keep a sharper look out for patrol cars.

She'd been on the road for about 20 minutes when Jim replied.

RM #429; WHAT MOVIE?

She remembered that he hadn't kissed her back from her earlier message.

WHERE'S MY KISS?

She knew that would make him laugh. She so enjoyed flirting with him. She hoped it always stayed this much fun. He replied quickly.

COME AND GET IT. :-)

She laughed out loud. If he only knew, she thought. But she was sure he had no idea - she hadn't either until about an hour ago! She was very happy the highway was practically empty tonight. Texting and driving wasn't something she knew she should be doing. Thankfully the smart-text she used tended to get her first choice of word right.

YOU KNOW I CAN'T. :-(

Pam stopped to get gas and a drink at an exit somewhere after Allentown. She knew that she was roughly halfway there, and she was starting to get a few butterflies in her stomach. She was still totally committed to doing this, but she still wasn't sure what she was going to say when she saw him. She also knew that she'd have to make sure she avoided Michael and Dwight. It wouldn't be the end of the world if they found out, seeing as she was free to be with whomever she wanted. But the comments and the questions and the teasings when she returned to work would be unbearable.

Shortly after getting back on the road she had a new message.

OMG! DWIGHT HAS A HOOKER!

Pam's eyes got big as she read the message. She immediately typed back:

WHAT?

Jim must have been waiting on her response for he quickly followed up:

TRIED TO GET IN HIS ROOM & FOUND A HOOKER THERE! CALL ME!

Pam saw an exit coming up, so she pulled off the road. She didn't want to give away the fact she was driving, but she just had to call to find out what was going on. Jim picked up on the first ring.

"Oh my God, Pam! You cannot believe what I just saw!"

"What were you doing in Dwight's room?"

"Well, you know - I was going to play a trick on him for old times' sake."

"Okay, go on..."

"Well, I got his room key from the front desk, and when I opened the door I saw some woman lying on one of the beds. I didn't get that good a look, but I know she wasn't wearing anything on her legs. She said something like 'Hey D' - which by that point I was seriously backing out the door."

"Oh my God! Did she see you?"

"I don't know, but I don't think so. It happened so fast, and I really didn't step too far into the room."

"Are you sure it was a hooker?"

"Pam! Come on! You don't honestly think Dwight would have a girlfriend?"

Pam thought about all the things she'd noticed between Dwight and Angela, especially lately. "I hate to break it to you buddy, but that might not have been a hooker. In fact, I would bet it wasn't."

"Beesly - what have you been holding back?"

"I think it was Angela."

"Angela! No way!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure something is going on between them, and has for a little while."

"Didn't you think that before, though? I thought you said you were wrong."

"Well, let's just say since you've been in Stamford I've noticed more damning evidence."

"Holy shit."

"I know. I hope she didn't recognise you!"

"I really don't think she did. And I didn't say anything, so she didn't hear my voice" Jim paused for a moment. "Man, I'm actually kind of bummed now."

"Why?"

"Because it wasn't a hooker. Having it be Angela isn't nearly as much fun. Are you sure it was her?"

"Well, as sure as I can be. I don't remember seeing much of her today except for this morning, but I was sort of in my own private hell so I didn't notice."

"Well, see how early she comes in to work tomorrow. I don't expect she'd leave here at 6am to get into work on time, do you?"

Pam smiled, "Sure, I'll make sure to write down the time she comes in, and let you know. I'm sorry if I burst your bubble on the hooker dream though."

Jim laughed. "That's okay. Where are you?"

"Oh, I'm in a bathroom stall at the theatre. I was seated on the end of the aisle so it was easy for me to walk out when I felt the phone buzz." She looked at herself in her rear view mirror and rolled her eyes at how easily that lie tripped off her tongue.

"So what are you watching?"

Eek. Pam froze for a moment, then remembered passing the marquee a few days back. "Um, we're watching Little Miss Sunshine. It's some indie comedy. So far it's pretty funny, but it's just started."

"I guess I should let you get back to the film then."

"Yeah, I guess so. I'll call you again when I'm home, right?"

"Definitely. Thanks for calling so quickly. When I found that woman in Dwight's room, my first thought was 'I have to call Pam to tell her.'"

"That's a good first thought, Halpert."

"Thanks, Beesly. Talk to you later."

She pulled back on the highway and let out a sigh of relief. Then she laughed at the thought that Jim had believed Dwight had a hooker in his hotel room. She laughed harder when she imagined the discussion Dwight would have had with the escort agency trying to set up such a tryst. She practically had tears running down her cheeks feeling sorry for whatever prostitute unlucky enough to get Dwight for a client.

Her phone buzzed again; another message from Jim: KISS

She smiled and put her foot down a little harder. She knew she was only about an hour away, but every minute counted.

Driving through downtown Philadelphia was a bit intimidating. Even a Tuesday night there was crazier than a Saturday night in Scranton. But Pam soon made her way to the Marriott Convention Center. She parked in the huge connected parking lot, grabbed her overnight bag and her purse, and started to head to the hotel entrance.

Her plan was to text Jim and find out where he was in the hotel. If he was already in his room, she'd just go up and knock. If he was at Michael's party, she'd ask him to call her from his hotel room. When he arrived at his door, she'd be waiting. She just hoped this wasn't all going to fall apart by her not being able to get on an elevator without a hotel key.

She took a deep breath and walked into the lobby. Fortunately for her it was still overrun with conventioneers and she easily could blend in. She headed for the woman's restroom. Slipping into the handicap stall (more room and a place to set her bag down, she sent her first text message.

WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

She waited about 5 minutes for a reply, which seemed like an hour to her.

IN MICHAEL'S ROOM. YOU HOME?

She wasn't sure what room Michael was in, but for some reason she didn't think it was the same one Jim was on. She walked out of the restroom and headed for the elevators. As she went up, she texted him back.

CALL ME FROM YOUR ROOM.

She got off on the fifth floor, relieved she hadn't encountered anyone she knew in the elevators. She walked down the hall until she found 529, so she would know were to look on the floor below. She entered the stairwell at the end of the hall 529 was on, and walked down a flight. She peeped out the door onto the fourth floor, but Jim wasn't in sight. This was absolutely the worst part: waiting for him to arrive. She noticed that her hands were visibly shaking. She knew he was going to be happy to see her, but it felt like her heart was going to burst waiting for him to arrive.

3 minutes and 15 seconds (approximately, according to Pam) she received a new message:

GOING TO MY ROOM. I'LL CALL SOON.

Pam leaned her head against the cool concrete wall in frustration. Augh, would the guy just get here already! She opened the fire door slightly and listened for the sound of people getting off the elevator. Nothing. She was about to shut the door again, when she heard the ding of the elevator. She closed her eyes and prayed to no one in particular: "Please let it be him, please let it be him."

Room 429 was about half the distance between the elevator and the stairwell Pam was waiting in. It was on the other side of the hall from the door to the stairs, so as long as Jim didn't take great notice in the end of the hallway, she had a good chance of spotting him at his door before he'd see her. She heard the sound of someone walking down the hallway, and her heart felt as if it stopped beating. She listened, and the heavy even steps raised her hopes that it could be Jim. When she was brave enough to look out again, she could see his broad shoulders in front of his door, his hands opening his wallet get his room key. She leaned back and took a deep breath. When she heard his room door shut, she picked up her bags and walked out into the hallway. She was so excited to be there, but she was shaking like a leaf. She was nearly at his door when her phone rang, scaring the shit out of her. She dropped her bag and grabbed her phone out of her pocket, silencing it. Nice one, Beesly, she thought.

She calmed herself down, picked up her bag and finally reached Jim's door. She closed her eyes and gave a good rap on the door. Suddenly the door flew open and his body filled the door frame. He first gave her a look like he didn't know who she was. Then he did a double take, recognizing her but not believing it was really her.

"Pam?" Jim said in an almost whisper, "Oh my god, what are you doing here?"

Before she could answer he reach over and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her into a tight hug. She smiled into his shoulder as he literally twirled her around in the hallway. "Oh my god," he said, putting her back down on the ground.

"Can I come in?" she asked, amused at his complete loss of words at her surprise arrival.

"Oh, God, Yeah! Please, come in!" He took her overnight bag out of her hand and ushered her in. He put her bag down on one of the two queen beds in the room. He made as if to wrap her in another hug, but suddenly stopped and held up a finger. She watched him go back to the door, open it, and hang the Do Not Disturb tag on the outside. Then he flipped both locks shut and returned to finish his plan on embracing her.

She wrapped her arms up around his neck, while his tightened around her waist. He bent his head down and kissed her on the neck. "I can't believe you're here." he said. When he looked at her she wasted no time in bringing his head down to hers for a kiss. When she finally let him go, he rested his forehead against hers.

He indicated that she should sit on one of the beds. "So you want to tell me how your date went?" He asked, a bit of a smile playing at his lips. Pam took off her shoes and made herself comfortable on the bed, plumping the pillows up against her back as she leaned against the head rest. Once comfortable, she offered her hand to have him join her. He grabbed a pillow from the other bed and tucked it under his head and he stretched out on his side to face her.

"Oh, the date went very well," she smiled. "It ended just after the appetizers arrived, when I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and realised I wanted to be here with you instead."

Jim beamed at the news. "What did you say to them?"

She put a hand to her stomach. "Oh, I think I convincingly played off the beginnings of the flu. I actually felt guilty because Kelly felt so badly for me."

"So there was no movie?"

"No, I was passed Allentown when you called."

He laughed. "I am at complete loss, Beesly. You have amazed me."

"In a good way, I hope."

He sat up and moved closer. "Definitely in a good way." He leaned in and began softly kissing her. She shifted position so they both could rest upright but continue their embrace. He pulled her a little closer and she stretched her legs over his. She thought this moment alone was worth the drive. They stayed like that for quite some time, just happy to be in each other's company again.

"So you haven't had dinner?" Jim asked.

"No, actually I haven't. Wow, the sacrifices I make for you." She started to kiss him again.

"There's a 24 hour restaurant downstairs if you want something," he offered between kisses.

"That sounds nice," she murmured. "Maybe in a little while."

She continued to kiss him, knowing that they had plenty time to sort things out later.


	10. Chapter 17

They'd kissed for a little while, but in the end Pam was forced to interupted their tender moment. Two hours in the car and a large soda meant she needed to use the bathroom at an unfortunate moment. She stood in the bathroom and looked into the mirror. This time the woman staring back at her looked considerably less stressed. Her hair looked a little mussed, and there was a pinkness to her cheeks, chin and nose, but she definitely was looking a much happier woman. She smiled at her reflection. 

"Hey, Jim," she said, walking out of the bathroom. "How tired are you feeling?"

Jim smiled at her. "Why? What do you have in mind, Beesly?"

"I just wondered how much time I have with you before you become unconscious."

"What are you saying?"

"Well you look a little flushed. How much did you have to drink down in Michael's room?"

Jim tilted his head, trying to remember. "Not more than 2 or 3. He was pushing Cosmopolitans."

"How very Michael," Pam laughed, and sat down on the bed again. She leaned over and ruffled his already messy hair. "So 3 cosmos later and you aren't drunk?"

He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer. "Not fall down dead drunk, no. More like happy, mellow drunk."

"That's my influence, not the alcohol," she teased. She kissed him. "I'm asking because I'm starting to get hungry and I wouldn't mind going downstairs for a little bit. Unless of course you think we might run into people we shouldn't."

Jim's face light up. "Oh my god, that reminds me!"

"What?"

"When you get back to work you probably should prepare yourself for Michael the Matchmaker."

"Oh, no."

Jim laughed a bit. "Yeah, see he's been so weird to me this whole day. Every time I turned around he was making comments about my leaving for Stamford, and how he must be such an awful boss compared to Josh, et cetera, et cetera. It was clear that he really thought my leaving was his fault. I finally couldn't take it anymore and told him he wasn't the reason I left."

Pam's eyes widened. "What did you tell him?"

Jim looked at her for a moment, and then looked away. "I told him the truth. I said I left because of you."

"Oh," was all Pam could think of to say. He'd just struck upon the one issue she felt they still needed to talk about, and it made her feel a bit uncomfortable. "What did Michael say?"

"Well he first thought I didn't know you were now single, so I told him I had heard that," he grinned up at her. "Then I told him how I had told you how I felt, and how you turned me down. Twice."

"Ouch." Pam replied, slightly taken aback. "You didn't really say that, did you? That's not what happened."

Jim looked at her warily. "What do you mean, 'that's not what happened?'"

"Just what I said." She felt a knot growing in her stomach. She knew where this conversation was heading, and it wasn't the way she wanted it to go. But she was hurt that he would have presented her in such a harsh light. She got up off the bed and walked toward the windows. "I didn't turn you down twice."

Jim stayed seated on the bed but pulled himself up to a fully seated position. "Yes, Pam, you did. First I told you how I felt, and you said, and I quote 'I can't.' Then you told me how perhaps I had misinterpreted things. Pretty much a rejection, don't you think?" Before she could reply he continued, "Then after I kissed you, you told me you were still going to marry Roy. That was rejection number two."

Pam felt herself tearing up. "Is that how it really happened, Jim?" Her voice was starting to shake but he needed to hear what she needed to say. She stayed close to the windows but made a point of looking at him. "See, because from my perspective what happened was more like this: I was having one of nicest nights of my life, when all of a sudden my best friend tells me that he's in love with me. Not only that,  
he says that he doesn't want to be my friend anymore if that's all there is. Shortly afterwards we meet again and he kisses me. And yes, I kissed him back. Then he makes me tell him right then and there if I'm still going to marry someone I've spent the last 10 years with." She stopped a moment to stifle a sob, then continued.

"But the best part was that he didn't even tell me that this was the only chance I had, because I found out the next time I came into work that he'd taken an immediate transfer to another branch two states away."

Pam finally sat down in the chair next to the writing desk. She grabbed a few tissues that were sitting on the table. She cried into her tissue, not entirely convinced she could stop if she tried. When she looked up, Jim was standing up with his back towards her. She made herself calm down, and watched him, waiting for his response.

His hands were shoved into his pockets and he had his head lowered, concentrating intensely on the floor. When he heard her crying subsiding, he turned toward her. He lifted his head, and his eyes shyly searched hers. "What do you want from me, Pam?"

"I just want you to understand my side of things," she said softly. She maintained eye contact with him, trying to make him understand that what she wanted was consolation and discussion, not separation. She stayed seated, not trusting her legs to keep her upright, but proffered her hand towards him. She'd barely begun to extend her arm before he was immediate near her. He dropped down onto his knees,  
and gripped the arms of the chair she was sitting in. They looked at each other for what seemed like a long time, and Pam noticed that she wasn't the only one crying any longer. She leaned forward slightly and rested her forehead on his.

Jim closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Pam," he said slowly. "I guess I never really thought to see things from your perspective. I don't even know where to begin."

She pulled back. "Then just let me talk. I need to tell you this," she said softly, "but I suspect you won't like what I have to say."

The look in Jim's eyes told her he was already fearing the worst. She brought her hands up to his face. "Not that bad, Halpert," she half-smiled. "You aren't getting rid of me that easily."

In a single move he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Tell me,Pam. Tell me everything. As long as I know I won't lose you I'll listen to you all night." She felt her tears returning, and hugged him tight in response. "It wouldn't all be so awful to think about again if I didn't love you so much," she said tearfully.

He continued to hold her close, gently rubbing her back. "Please don't cry," he comforted her. "I'm so sorry."

She pulled back to look at him as she spoke. "The worst part," she began hoarsely, "Was after I broke up with Roy. I was so terribly lonely and sad and angry all at the same time, and there was no one here to talk to. Absolutely no one."

Jim couldn't bear to look at the hurt in her eyes as she relived that painful time. "I know it doesn't help, but I just did what I felt I had to do at the time," he offered. "I really was at my wit's end. You said you were going to marry Roy, and if I would have been forced to witness that, I probably would have killed myself."

"I just wish you would have trusted me enough to mention the fact that you were in love with me a long time ago!" she sighed. She thought for a moment, and then she looked slightly irritated. "When Michael let it slip that you had a crush on me, you told me that had ended years ago. That was a lie, wasn't it?"

Jim could only nod in admission. "Oh Jim," she sighed. "Why couldn't you trust me enough to let me decide what to do with that information?"

"You had just set the date to get married," he replied, already aware it was an excuse as lame as it sounded.

"Yes, but it would have given me more time to think about things." She paused. "I did not call off my wedding with Roy because of you. But do you think it was coincidence that I called it off within two weeks of your declaration? I mean, even if my initial reaction still would have been that I couldn't make any sort of commitment to you, it did make me re-evaluate my life. It did make the problems I had been living with suddenly seem to have a solution. I realised I had options."

He nodded. "I see now what you are saying. But I was so afraid I was going to lose everything with you if I told you how I really felt." He looked sadly at her. "In the end I lost it all anyway."

She gave him a small smile. "At least it wasn't forever."

He brought her hands to his lips, kissing each in succession. "For that I'm forever grateful, Beesly." When he'd finished kissing the tops of her hands, he turned them over and kissed each palm. Pam slid her hands behind his neck and pulled him close for a tender kiss. He kissed her cheek, and then her neck.

"Is there more to say?"

"I don't know," she murmured. I'm feeling a bit all cried out, actually."

He got up in a single fluid movement, and pulled her from the chair. "Then come lie down and make sure we've worked this out," he said.


	11. Chapter 18

Pam didn't object when Jim guided her back to the bed. They laid down on top of the bedspread, facing each other silently. Pam lay on her stomach, her arms wrapped around the pillow that was now supporting her chin. Jim was on his side, one arm bent to rest his head on his hand. Jim watched her intently, eventually reaching out to stroke her cheek. Pam moved a little closer, but they still remained silent. She could see in his eyes the regrets he had, and the sadness that remained over the things she had told him. From his perspective he saw the much the same sadness and regret in her eyes, but he also thought he saw forgiveness and love. 

"Pam, If I could do it -"

She nodded. "I know. Me, too."

"Yeah," he agreed. Of course she knew. They couldn't have had this entire conversation if things hadn't already been accepted and forgiven.

"I just needed to say it," she said.

"Once." They laughed at the fact they'd each said the same word.

Jim could no longer hold back. "So is it all right if I kiss you now?" he asked, his eyebrows raised in such a way that she knew he was being both serious and mocking at exactly the same time. She changed position to free her arms.

"It's more than all right. In fact, I think it's pretty much required as part of your penance."

Jim smiled, leaning over her. "Then let the atonement begin."

He ran his fingers through her hair, fluffing out her curls and allowing her hair clip to fall into his hand. He pushed himself up onto his left elbow for a moment to toss the clip onto the writing table. It landed right in the middle of the Marriott deskpad.

"Nice," Pam purred, in her best Kevin impression.

Jim grinned, still towering over her. "Please. The last thing I need is Kevin's voice in my head right now." Pam giggled. "You really know how to kill a mood, don't you, Beesly?"

She reached up and drew him down to her. "I think I can turn that around," she whispered, kissing the hollow of this throat just below his adam's apple. She continued to nibble and kiss his neck, as he enjoyed the feeling of her soft hair brushing against his face.

"Ah, you're getting there," he whispered teasingly in her ear. "But I think you should put a little more effort into it, Beesly."

She stopped kissing him and pushed him off her. "Oh! You are so rude!" she said, the anger in her voice at complete odds with the sparkle in her eyes. "Like you could do any better, Halpert."

She turned her body away from him and crossed her arms over her chest. She had to try very hard not to let a giggle escape.

Jim reached over and grabbed at her wrists, attempting to roll her back towards him. "I wouldn't mind giving it a shot."

"I bet you wouldn't, " she giggled, resisting his inital attempts. Jim would not be deterred, though. He playfully reached over, grabbed her left shoulder, and pulled her over.

"Ow!" Pam winched in pain.

Jim immediately let her arm go. "What?"

Pam partially sat up and began rubbing her left shoulder. "I don't know. I just felt this incredible snap just now."

Jim also sat up, concerned. "Snap?"

"Snap," she nodded, "or twinge." She continued to rub the area just left of her neck.

"Well, which is it?" Jim teased.

"Does it really matter?"

"Oh yeah. Totally different medical treatments for a snap than a twinge."

She glared at him. "Well whatever it is, it's all your fault, Halpert, manhandling me like that."

"Oh hey, I'm sorry Pam," Jim felt immediately guilty.

Pam chortled, slapping him on the thigh with her free hand. "I'm teasing you, you dork."

"No, you're right," He grinned, "Come here, Beesly. Let me take a look."

Pam swung her feet over the side and sat on the edge of the bed. Jim slid behind her, settling his legs on either side of her. "Here, take your sweater off," he said, helping her remove her cardigan. "Can you unbutton your blouse a bit so I can pull your collar back?"

Pam undid the first two buttons. "Is this your usual way of picking up women?" she asked.

"Oh yeah. You cannot believe the success I've had with this trick." He ran his fingers along her skin from her neck to her shoulder. "Does that hurt?"

"Yeah, a little."

He began to massage the area. "Well you certainly feel a bit tense in your shoulders."

"It's been a stressful week," she kidded him. "Ouch!"

"Sorry! I think you need to put a hot towel on it first, then let me massage it for you."

She turned back to look at him. "Since when did you become a physical therapist?"

"Years of playing basketball, of course." He smiled knowingly. "Trust me, you are in good hands."

"Yeah, I bet."

"No, seriously. Let's get this shirt off and put a warm wet towel there. Or we could go stand you under a hot shower." His look told her immediately which option sounded better to him.

"Coming on to the patient, Halpert? Isn't that just a tad unethical?"

He kissed her gently on her sore shoulder before he got off the bed. "So sue me, Beesly." He picked up her overnight bag from the other bed and dropped it next to her. He unzipped it and began to look inside.

"Hey! What are you doing?" She grabbed the bag with good arm.

"Just trying to help," he grinned. She couldn't help but grin back. He was just so damn adorable sometimes.

"Okay, fine. I guess I could go put my pajamas on. At least I'd be more comfortable."

"Didn't you want to go downstairs to eat?"

She shrugged, then winced at the movement. "I'll live."

"I think they have room service 24/7," he said, sliding into the desk chair and grabbing the hotel information binder.

"That's probably too expensive," she said dismissively.

"Beesly, please," he replied, leafing through the binder. "The least I can do is buy you dinner."

"True," she mused. "I did drive all the way down here to see you and you thank me by physically abusing me."

"Abuse?" He scoffed. "It's not my fault if you're too delicate flower to play with me," Jim said, never taking his eyes off the room service menu he'd just found.

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, and what are you saying?"

He lifted his eyes up from the page to give her a provocative look. "I'm just saying maybe you should start working out if you plan on hanging out with me."

She stood up, sheep pajamas in hand. "Don't you worry about me, Halpert," she cooed, walking over to him. "I only hope you can keep your strength up." She leaned over him, well aware her shirt was now only half-buttoned, and watched the myriad of emotions crossing his face as he took in the view. She smiled slightly then gave him a warm, deep kiss, holding it long enough to lick her tongue slowly across his lips.

"Um, yeah." he said, his eyes widened at the sight and experience. "I'll, uh, keep that in mind." She could feel his eyes continuing to watch her as walked into the bathroom, and decided that was a feeling she could certainly get used to.

In the bathroom she eased out of her button-down oxford and pencil shirt, glad to be free of them. It had been hard lying down in that skirt. It always wanted to ride up a little further than she was ready for. She pulled on her pj bottoms and eased the shirt over her head. She made the decision to forgo the bra tonight. Her lips were flushed pink from her recent kiss, and the thought of just a single thin layer of cotton between herself and Jim brought out the flush in her cheeks as well. It had been a slow dance between them so far, and she thought this was the right next step they needed to learn.

When she came out, Jim showed her the menu and then ordered dinner for them both. He'd gone against her protest that the wine was too expensive and ordered a carafe of white for them to share.

"It's like what? Two glasses each if we're lucky? We'll hardly get drunk from it." She said, "that's a lot of money for just a little bit of wine."

"That's so not the point, Beesly. Sheesh, you are such a romantic," he said sarcastically. "And here I thought your surprise appearance just might be a reason to celebrate."

She could hardly refute that argument, so instead she just curled up next to him on the edge of the bed, gently putting her arm around his waist and resting her head against him while they waited for the food to arrive. He put his arm around her, lightly stroking her back as he did so. His hand stopped for a moment, and he stroked her back again. She couldn't resist a slight smile and looked up at him. His eyes held the question his hand had asked, and her smile was his reply.

Without a word he leaned her back on to the bed and started kissing her again. His one hand supported his weight as he partially covered his body with hers. His other hand found its way to the bottom of Pam's pajama top. Much like he had done that past Sunday, he slid his hand just under the hem, and felt her warm skin. Her stomach was soft, and he was so glad she was smart enough not to be obsessed with being skinny. Not that she was overweight; she just had been blessed with the curves he felt a real woman should have.

Her response to his kisses and her lack of objection to where his hand was encouraged him to explore under her shirt further. He consciously took it slowly, making long, slow sweeps of his hand against the bare skin on her side, caressing the skin around her belly button with his thumb. He finally moved his hand up far enough to touch her breast. It was incredibly soft, and he was slightly surprised that despite his large hands, there was certainly plenty to hold. Her usual office attire had certainly done an excellent job of concealing that fact from him. He felt her squirm for a moment under his touch, so he stopped kissing her.

"Are you okay with this?" he asked, his hand still warm against her. She nodded and brought his head down for another kiss. He ran his thumb over her nipple, feeling it harden under his touch. He heard her moan softly, and the sound alone resulted in his full arousal.

There was a knock at the door. "Fuck," he said, his lips still against hers. This made Pam laugh loudly, and suddenly they knew the moment was officially gone. He got up to answer the door while she pushed her shirt down and gently sat up, her left shoulder still hurting.

Pam pretended to be fascinated with the pattern of the bedspread as the hotel staffer carried in a large tray. Jim reached for his wallet, tipping the man generously, then shutting the door behind him quickly. By the time he turned around, Pam had already taken the food covers off and was enjoying her sandwich.

"Man, you don't waste any time, do you?" he marvelled, grabbing the other plate and settling down beside her.

"I told you I was hungry," she grinned between bites.

"Oh, and here I was thinking that a moment ago you had forgotten about food completely."

"Ha," she laughed, "You clearly forget who you're dealing with." They continued to play and tease each other during their late night meal.

"Is your shoulder still hurting you?" He inquired, finishing off his sandwich. When she nodded he opened up the carafe of wine. "Here," he said, passing her a full glass.

"This might help loosen up your shoulder."

She drank nearly all of it at once, causing him to stare. "Classy, Beesly. Do you want a refill?"

She drank the remainder and handed back her glass. "I just figure it will work quicker if I drink it quicker," she reasoned, reminding Jim of her 'Second Drink' logic from that night at the Dundies. But he refrained from commenting and instead h handed her another glass of wine.

"Is it really hurting that much?" he asked, a little concerned by her wish for quick pain relief. "We could take you to a doctor if we need to."

She leaned a little against him, already feeling a bit of warmth from the wine. "No," she said, "I'll be okay. I'll just have to be looked after by a suitable masseuse." She worked on finishing her second glass of wine.

"Oh, I see your little ploy," Jim said. "Fake an illness just so I'll put my hands all over you. That trick's been tried before, Beesly."

She smiled up at him, "so are you saying it's not going to work?"

He leaned over and kissed her nose. "Oh no. Of course it will work. I'm just saying."

She giggled and finished off her wine. "Wait!" she said, which made Jim grin since he hadn't moved a muscle. "I think I even brought an appropriate lotion." She rummaged through her bag and looked at him triumphantly. It was a seasonal body lotion she had recently purchased, scented with cinnamon, nutmeg and pumpkin.

She handed it over to Jim and sat back down. "Is that okay?" she asked.

"Are we supposed to eat it?" he asked, being purposely obtuse.

She shook her head sadly. "There's just no hope for you, is there?"

She moved over and stretched out on the bed, rolling on on her stomach much as she had before. "I'm ready when you are. Just be gentle, okay?"

Jim put down his empty wine glass sat down next to her prone body. "I think we're going to have a problem here, Beesly" he began.

"Why?"

"Well, for a start I need this shirt to come off if I'm going to do a proper job. And I'll need you to sit up for the first part."

She eyed him suspiciously. "Now that sounds convenient. You have to have my shirt off, but I can't lie down to protect my modesty?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Not if you want it done correctly."

She sighed and sat back up tenderly. "Fine. But bring me a towel."

Jim went off to the bathroom and came back with a couple of towels. He handed one to her, and she managed to take her pajama shirt off and wrap the towel around the front of her in such a demure manner that he almost laughed. One towel had been run under hot water and squeezed out. That one he laid gently onto her sore shoulder area. He had another to make sure the bed didn't get wet.

"Ahh," she said, closing her eyes. "That feels nice. But you forgot one other thing."

"Hmm?"

"Yeah. You need to take your shirt off too. In fact, where are your pajamas?"

He smiled and immediately complied. She appreciated the towel's moist warmth radianting through her stiff shoulder, but she found the floor show more exciting. Jim stood in front of her, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. She made no attempt to hide her enjoyment, and all her unabased staring started to make Jim blush a bit.

"Do you mind?" he asked, "Must you lust after me so openly?"

She grinned. "Yeah, actually I think I do."

He shrugged, unzipping his trousers to reveal dark blue boxer shorts. "Okay, just wanted to be sure," he replied, his eyes never leaving hers. He pulled a dresser drawer open and grabbed his now familiar green flannel pants. Putting them on, he picked up her barrette from the table and then crawled behind her on the bed.

Propping the pillows behind his back, he said, "Come here." He helped her slide back next to him. She could feel the slight scratchiness of his chest hair against her back. That along with the wine made her feel like pulling her shoulder hadn't been such a bad thing after all. He finger combed her hair back until he held all of it in one hand, like he was about to make a pony tail. He twisted it around a bit, then pulled it up off her neck, securing it to her scalp with the barrette.

Pam reached up and felt the twisted hair. "Wow, I'm impressed. I think I'm going to have to fire my current stylist."

He replied by gently kissing the uninjured shoulded. "I think this towel's probably done all it's going to do," he said, tossing the wet towel on the floor. He took the remaining dry towel and gently dried her shoulder. "Does that feel any better?"

She twisted her neck and raised her left shoulder up and down slightly. "Yes, actually it did help a little."

He reached down and picked up the body lotion tube from the bedspread. He opened up the cap and squeezed a small amount onto his hand. He put his hands together, warming the lotion slightly with his body heat. He then spread the lotion between his hands and gently started to work it into both of her shoulders.

Pam closed her eyes to better feel his hands on her neck and shoulders. Even though her shoulder was indeed sore, he seemed to know the exact amount of pressure to apply to soothe her. He spent a great deal of time rubbing and kneading her skin, tracing the lines of her scapulas and upper spine. She felt his long fingers stroking her neck and behind her ears, and the scent of cinnamon and nutmeg and pumpkin filled her senses. She wasn't sure how she'd ever eat a slice of pumpkin pie again without reliving the amazing feeling of his hands on her. She smiled to herself at how awkward the next Thanksgiving might just turn out to be.

"Okay," he said softly in her ear. "You can lay down on your stomach if you'd like and I can do the rest of your back."

She didn't need any further encouragement. Laying down with the towel now underneath her, Jim turned his attention to massaging the lotion along the curves in her back, all the way down to the rise where her hips began. To him this was like a soothing ritual. It was his way to express his appreciation of her beauty and his amazement that she belonged to him. It was both extremely nurturing and extremely sexual to him, and wondered how long he would be able to keep doing this. He willed his hands to remember every curve, every line, every mole, every minor imperfection. In a very real sense he was mapping her body to his mind and heart.

When he felt he was finished, he wiped the excess lotion on a towel and drank up the last of his share of the wine. "All done, Beesly," he said. He stretched out besides her, unclipping her hair and letting it fall down around her shoulders. Her face was pointed away from him, so he leaned over her and kissed her cheek. It was then he realized that she had fallen asleep.

He smiled, shook his head, and kissed her cheek again. He got off the bed, and removed the luggage and the empty food dishes from the bed next to them. He then stripped the bedsheets and blankets off the extra bed, and began to arrange them around Pam. He moved the lotion to the bedside stand, and hit the light switches by the door. He closed the curtains slightly, leaving just enough light from the outside spilling in so he could find his way back to her side. Crawling under the covers, he spooned up next to her, his hand resting in the small of her back. He kissed her sore should gently.

"Good night, Pam," he said against the darkness. "I love you."


	12. Chapter 19

The stillness of the early morning was jarred by the sound of the ringing phone. Jim put his arm out to the small table set between the two queen beds. He picked up the receiver, still not entirely awake. 

"Hello?"

"Jim, it's Josh. Are you meeting us for breakfast or what?"

"What time is it?"

"It's 8:20. The wrap-up meeting is at 9, and I thought we were meeting for breakfast at 8:15."

"Damn. Sorry, Josh, I must have forgotten to set the alarm. I'll have to catch up with you at the meeting."

Jim hung up the phone and closed his eyes again. He was mildly irritated at being awoken like that, as he was sure he had been in the middle of a wonderful dream. He felt Pam stirring beside him and he grinned, wondering if in fact it hadn't been a dream at all. At some point in the night, Pam had moved toward the middle of the bed, as if seeking him out. She was now sleeping on her side facing him, her head resting against his shoulder. Her hand was lying on his chest, roughly in the area of his heart. The towel she'd draped so modestly across her chest last night was somewhere on the other side of the bed, and there was enough light in the room for Jim to have a view that was more than enough reason to stay in bed for.

Cursing his luck, Jim gave Pam a quick kiss on her head and attempted to get up without waking her. Unfortunately her position made that practically impossible.

"Jim?"

Jim sat up, wishing he could stay in bed. "It's okay, you can sleep some more."

Pam rolled onto her back, and stretched out. "What time is it?"

"It's just before 8:30. I have a meeting at 9." He turned around to look at her. "Man, Beesly, do you mind?"

Pam realised that in stretching out the sheets has slipped dangerously to mid-torso. She laughed, but made no move to cover herself up. "What?" she asked innocently.

"Stop it, Beesly. That's just cruel." Jim said, not able to keep his eyes off of her. It took just a moment for him to concede defeat, lying back down on the bed and moving over to her. "How I am supposed to get dressed and sit in a seminar about the importance and significance of differences in paper weights when I now have this image in my mind?"

She smiled. "Then don't go." She reached up to feel the stubble on his face. He leaned over and kissed her. He could perhaps be forgiven if in the course of kissing her good morning, his hands caressed her breasts a great deal more than was strictly necessary.

"Unfortunately the seminar is the reason I'm here." He pulled her blanket up, trying to find a way to convince himself that his attendance downstairs was important. Given the scenario before him however, he wasn't even sure his job was worth walking out of that room for. He forced himself to get off the bed and stand up. "I'll be back before 11am."

"Isn't that checkout time?"

Probably, but I'm pretty sure we booked late checkouts, so we're probably safe to 3pm."

"Fine," she yawned, rolling over and grabbing Jim's pillow. "You go and I'll sleep a little longer."

"Um, Pam?"

"Yeah, Jim?"

"Shouldn't you at least call in sick to work?"

"Shit! I completely forgot." She sat up, this time remembering to keep the sheet at a modest level. "I'm not even sure who I should call. There probably isn't even anyone answering the phones today."

Jim shrugged. "Just call Michael. Let him deal with it."

Pam grinned. "I suppose just dialing his room extension directly would make it obvious I was lying about being home sick?"

Jim's grin matched hers. "No! Do it! I bet there's no way he could tell where your call was coming from." Jim handed her the receiver and punched in Michael's room number before she could object.

"Hey, Michael - this is Pam." She fortunately remembered she was supposed to be sick, so inserted a genuine-sounding cough. Jim nodded his approval and sat down next to her. "Did I wake you? Oh, you just sound a bit groggy."

Jim began to kiss her on the shoulder, causing Pam to try and swat him away.

"Yeah, well I didn't know who to call. I'm really sick today and I can't get into work." Jim moved to kiss her back. Pam squirmed, trying desperately not to laugh while she was on the phone. "Oh, good. Thanks Michael."

Pam quickly put the phone down, and turned to pounce on Jim. "Are you trying to get me in trouble, Halpert?" She had caught him off guard and pinned him down on the bed, the thin sheet between them.

"Maybe," he grinned. He put his arms around her and held her tight to his chest. "Oh and don't bother to thank me for last night's massage. Apparently you either found it completely relaxing or completely boring."

She smiled back. "I'm sorry, Jim. Yesterday was such a long day, and it felt so good I couldn't help but relax. It really was the most amazing massage I've ever had. I promise I'll stay awake next time."

He gently pushed her away so he could get up. "Oh right, like you're getting a next time. I think tonight is my turn."

She grabbed his arm. "Tonight? I thought you'd be going back to Wendy's tonight."

He didn't meet her gaze. "No, I decided not to go back there." He paused, then turned to look at her. "You weren't planning on going back to Scranton today, were you?"

"I didn't think I had a choice."

Jim looked at her tenderly. "You drove all the way down here for a 12 hour visit?"

"Didn't you drive to Scranton on Sunday for a stay that was originally supposed to be even shorter than that?"

He nodded slowly. "We're a pretty pathetic pair, aren't we?"

"Yep," Pam agreed "Totally pathetic."

He took her in his arms to kiss her again. The seminar could start without him.

By the time Jim finally got dressed and left for the seminar, Pam jokingly had wondered why he was bothering to go at all. But to be honest, she appreciated the time alone to get herself together. She still couldn't believe that she had made such an impetuous decision to drive down here, not knowing for sure how things would go. Not that she had doubted he'd be happy to see her, but so much could have gone wrong. And yet she did it. Another milestone for the New Pam.

While Jim was away, Pam took advantage of the luxurious bath, making every use of the complimentary bath products. Freshly washed, exfoliated, and lotioned, she now smelled like a heady combination of fresh raspberries and vanilla. Pam put on her jeans and sweatshirt, and twisted her hair up much like Jim had done the night before. It was a style she'd never worn out before, but she liked how it drew attention to her face, instead of hiding it behind her curls.

She tidied up the room, straightened up the beds and was in the process of folding her clothes into her bag when she absentmindedly reached up to play with her necklace. She suddenly realized it wasn't there. Pam immediately frowned, trying to remember when she had it last. She knew she had shown it to Jim last night, but had no memory of it after that.

She was still in the process of turning the room upside down when Jim came back.

"Hey," Jim said, finding her sitting on the floor near the dresser.

"I can't find it." Pam burst into tears.

"Find what?" He immediately moved to sit down beside her.

"My necklace," she sniffled. "The Emu opal one. I remember I had it on last night, but now I don't know where it is. I've looked everywhere." She started to cry again.

Jim pulled her close for a hug. "It's okay," he soothed, rocking her slightly. "We'll find it."

"But I've looked everywhere. This isn't exactly a big place."

"It's not exactly a big necklace either. Maybe you just need a fresh set of eyes." He kissed her cheek. "Just relax, and let me have a look."

He stood up and walked over to the beds. "Now I'm pretty positive you weren't wearing it last night after you had changed, because I would have noticed putting lotion on it," he thought aloud. "Could you have taken it off in the bathroom when you changed?"

She nodded. "But I've already looked there."

"Let me just take a quick look." Jim walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Pam stood up and moved to sit on the bed. The day had started with so much promise, but now she just felt miserable. She'd never forgive herself for losing that necklace. It meant everything to her. It was the first really personal gift Jim ever gave her, and even if they stayed together forever nothing could replace such an important present.

She was trying hard not to start crying again when Jim walked out of the bathroom, his face looking serious. He dropped down to his knees in front of her. "I know the necklace meant a lot to you," he said gently, "but there's no sense crying over it."

She was about to take objection to that statement when she felt his arms go up around her neck. "There's no sense crying," he repeated, "since I found it." He managed to successfully connect the a tiny clasp with his large hands.

Pam touched the necklace as if to be sure it was really there, and then threw her arms around his neck and let out a joyful squeal. "Oh my god, where was it?"

"It was under the rug in front of the sink." He smiled and kissed her on her forehead. "Now take better care of it, Beesly. I'm not about to move on to fancier jewels if you can't look after the little things I buy you."

She giggled, still feeling the relief that he'd found it. Her only suitable response was another kiss. A heartfelt, thankful, I'm-completely-in-love-with-you kiss.

Crisis averted, Pam still looked slightly concerned.

"What now, Beesly?"

"That's what I'm wondering, Jim. What should we do now?"

"Well, I'm finished here, so we can check out whenever we want. Maybe grab some lunch somewhere?"

Pam interrupted him. "Why aren't you going back to Wendy's?"

Jim hung his head. He knew the question was bound to come up. He just wish he knew how she was going to react to the answer. He remained kneeling in front of her, putting one hand on each side of her.

"I'm not going back because I don't feel comfortable there," he sighed. He looked her in the eye to gauge her reaction, and was surprised to see concern instead of suspicion.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

"Nothing," he tried to assure her. "Absolutely nothing. I swear it, Pam."

He was once again surprised when she smiled slightly, cupping his face with her hand. "I didn't think you did anything wrong, Halpert. I just want to know what happened. You've avoided talking about her since you arrived. I'm not that dense."

He gave a slight nod. "No, of course you aren't. I just didn't want to worry you."

"You won't. Go on..."

"Well," he smiled wryly, "I guess there was just a bit of miscommunication between Wendy and myself."

"Did she try to kiss you?" Pam had no doubt that he had been nothing but a gentleman no matter what had really happened. But she was enjoying his discomfort too much not to pretend she didn't understand.

"Well, yeah, that was part of it."

"Did she come on to you?"

Jim nodded, just a bit embarrassed. "You could say that."

"Were the two of you naked together at any point?"

"Well, I had just come out of the shower, but I was wearing a towel..."

Pam sighed melodramatically. "Jim Halpert, for the love of God just tell me what happened. It's sounding worse and worse the more you drag this out. You are not moving from this spot until I get the details." She smiled mischievously, then separated her knees slightly. She wrapped her legs around the back of his, and placed her arms around his shoulders. Pulling him closer, he was now entangled by her. He moved his hands to rest on her hips.

"Okay, here's what happened. From the time I got there she seemed a bit overly friendly. I just blew it off, or at least kept trying to, as the night went on. When I got back to her house that night, first she offered me a drink, but I turned it down. I went to my room, took a shower, and when I came out of the bathroom - wearing a towel, mind you - she was lying in my bed. She suggested she was open for some fun, and I politely declined."

Pam giggled. "You politely declined?"

"I did. I told her I was in another relationship."

"What did she say to that?"

Jim grinned. "She didn't seem to find that a deal killer."

"So was she naked?"

Jim stared at her. "No!"

"But almost, right?"

"Well, she wasn't dressed for church, if that's what you mean."

Pam giggled again and hugged him close. "You're an idiot," she whispered affectionately. "And you've been worried I'd be angry about this, haven't you?"

Jim pulled back to look at her. "Well I don't think I would have been thrilled had the situation been reversed."

Pam nodded. "I guess I could ask the obvious question of why she even thought you were available. Didn't you tell her about me?"

Jim's guilt appeared again. "No, I didn't, and that was my fault. When I'd made the plans you and I weren't even talking. I should have said something to her the day I arrived."

She hugged him again. feeling the warmth of his skin where she rubbed his back. "It doesn't matter. It really doesn't."

Jim pulled her closer, relief that this was finally out in the open and over with. "Thanks."

She gave him a playful nip on the neck with her teeth. "Just make sure it doesn't happen again, Halpert."

In the end, their afternoon plans were decided for them. Mere moments after the Wendy scandal had been laid to rest, Jim's cell phone rang. It was Jonathan. A short conversation later, Pam and Jim decided that they would drive over to Jonathan's house for lunch.

Their exit from the hotel bordered on the hysterical. Pam was very concerned that they not be seen by anyone from Dunder Mifflin, especially not Dwight or Michael. Jim tried to convince her that those two had probably already left, but she wasn't convinced. For his part Jim didn't really care if they were caught. He was delighted to be seen with her, and part of him wanted to run into Dwight just to see the look on his face. So despite her pleas to the contrary, every time the two of them walked into an open corridor, Jim would find a way to say her name in a very loud voice. ("I think we take the stairs this way, Pam Beesly.") By the time they reached the lobby he had her laughing so hard it was a wonder everyone wasn't turning to watch them.

"Let's just take your car," he suggested, as they walked out of the hotel and into the parking deck. "We can come back for mine later."

She handed him her keys. "Fine, but you get to drive. This town freaked me out last night, and I'm sure the roads are worse now."

They put their luggage in the trunk, and then Jim opened the passenger's side door for Pam. She loved how he never forgot little details like that. It made her send a silent word of thanks to his mother for instilling such courtesy and manners. For a moment she could even picture his sons behaving exactly the same way. Our sons, she thought with a tingle in her stomach. It seemed like a scandalous idea, but she smiled when she realised that it wasn't as impossible a dream as it used to be.

Pam had never visited Jonathan's home. It was a lovely one-and-a-half story white Craftsman original, and it was clear when they pulled into the drive that it had been well maintained. Jonathan was waiting on the front porch when they arrived, and as soon as Pam had stepped out of the car, Jonathan wrapped her in a bear hug.

"Greetings, Hot Stuff!" he laughed as he twirled her around. "Welcome to the Halpert Estate." He made a grand sweeping gesture with his hand as he released her from the hug. "The Jonathan Halpert Estate, I should say."

"It's lovely, it really is. I can't wait to see inside."

"I'll be glad to show you around, Pam. But lunch is hot and waiting."

As they followed Jonathan in, Jim couldn't help himself. He leaned over and whispered in Pam's ear. "That's what she said."

Pam immediately covered her mouth to prevent herself from laughing aloud. Instead she responded with a elbow jab into his stomach, which resulted in Jim grabbing her around the waist in an effort to tickle her. Soon they were both laughing uncontrollably.

Jonathan turned around. "Hey, I thought maybe you guys could at leasteat something before you turned this place into a bordello."

Jim and Pam composed themselves as best they could, and joined Jonathan in the kitchen. "Wow," Pam said when she saw the meal. Jonathan had prepared chicken and mushroom fajitas with a variety of vegetables, condiments and sides.

"Very nice, Jon," Jim concurred. "Thanks, man."

The three of them gathered around the kitchen island on bar stools and dug in. "Well add another talent to your resume," Pam said. "This is wonderful, Jon."

He nodded, pleased at her compliments. "Well it seemed like a special occasion." He said. "Not that I had any idea that YOU were at the hotel when I called. I was just hoping to meet Jim for lunch somewhere downtown."

Pam blushed slightly. "Well, I think it was a surprise for Jim when I showed up at his door last night." She glanced over to Jim.

He put his hand over hers and gave it a small squeeze. "Yeah, I'd say surprised was the right word."

Jonathan cleared his throat and gave a funny look to Jim. "So, what are you guys planning on doing tonight? I mean, are you going back to Wendy's, Jim?"

Jim smiled, slightly enjoying his brother's momentary discomfort. Jim had called Jonathan early Tuesday morning and told him about Wendy's proposition. Jonathan had agreed his early departure from that visit would only be a good thing. What Jonathan didn't know was if Pam was aware of the situation.

Pam's giggles soon made it clear she knew what he was talking about. "No, Jonathan, it's pretty safe to say Jim's not going to be allowed to spend another night over there without adult supervision." She laughed aloud. "Though I do wish I had been a fly on the wall to see Jim's face when he came out of the bathroom and found her there."

Jonathan gave her a grin. "Well, you sound pretty happy for a girl who's sweetheart was in such a compromising position."

"Yeah, well this is the new Pam." She smiled back at him. "Besides, I'd like to think that at this point we've moved beyond unfounded jealousy." Jim said nothing, but kissed her hand in agreement.

They spent at least another thirty minutes over their food, until just a shredding of lettuce and a few dollops of salsa and sour cream remained. Pam held her stomach. "Not fair, Jonathan," she said. "That was too good to stop eating and now I'm going to burst."

"Hey, it's just one of the many services I offer."

"I hope Jim knows how to cook like this," she winked at Jonathan.

"Hey," Jim protested. "I do okay."

"I'm not saying you don't." She grinned. "I've never had the pleasure of finding that out yet. I'm just noting that I hope exceptional culinary skills are a family trait."

"They are." Jim asserted steadfastly. She leaned against him, smiling up at him until he broke his sullen expression. He couldn't resist her and she knew it. He kissed the top of her head and playfully pushed her away.

"Okay, you two. No fighting or I'll separate you." Jonathan admonished.

Pam leaned back towards Jim, putting her arm through his. "Oh, no you don't," she objected. "I'm not letting anything separate us ever again."

She had said it jokingly, but the truth of her statment bought a slightly awkward silence to the room. Finally Jonathan lifted his water glass. "Amen to that," he said softly.

Jonathan began to clear off the empty dishes, and soon Pam and Jim busied themselves in the task of clean up as well. Turning on the dishwasher, Pam turned to Jonathan. "Okay," she said, "when do I get the deluxe tour of your home?"

Wiping his hands on a kitchen towel, Jonathan shrugged. "Right about now works for me."

"Great!"

"Well," he started, "Here we are in the kitchen."

"I see home-tour skills are also a Halpert specialty," Pam grinned, casting a teasing eye on Jim.

"Indeed," Jim nodded. "I learned the fine art of showing off a room right from this man here."

Jonathan then walked them back toward the front of the house, making up all sorts of outragous claims and fabricated historical facts as they wandered through the living room, dining room and then into the den. Pam laughed continously throughout the tour, and even Jim couldn't resist a smile now and then. His brother was completely incorrigible.

"I've set up the guest bed here in the den," Jonathan explained as they walked into a nicely size room lined with floor-to ceiling bookcases on two walls. "There really is more than enough room, and there is a full bathroom just off the other side of the kitchen."

Jim and Pam looked at each other quizzically. "Hey, Jon," Jim said, "Thanks for the effort, but I thought you had just invited us over for lunch?"

"You haven't already made other arrangements for tonight have you?"

"No," Jim replied slowly, "We hadn't really thought about what we were going to do."

"Then stay here. I have to go back into work now, but you guys can hang out here and do whatever it is love-crazed people like you tend to do when you're all alone together, and tonight we'll go out. My treat."

Jim and Pam looked at each other again, and Jim could tell that Pam liked the idea of spending more time with Jonathan. It pleased him that she like his brother so much. "Sure, we'd love to. Thanks, Jon."

Jonathan smiled. "Great. Now Pam, let me take you upstairs to my bedroom." He put his arm around her and lead her from the den. "You can stay down here, Jim. You've seen it all before."

"Nice," Jim replied, following behind. "But not likely. The fact that I know what that den of iniquity looks like is exactly the reason I'm coming along."

"James Halpert, are you suggesting your brother is about to attempt to seduce me?" Pam grinned.

"Don't look so surprised. He's exactly the type you shouldn't trust."

"Ignore him, Pam." Jonathan whispered conspiratorially. "He's always been prone to flights of fancy." He hugged her closer. "You know you're completely safe with me."

Pam burst out laughing. "You two are impossible. She reached over and grabbed Jim's hand. "I think I shall demand you both come along and we'll just see what happens up there." She winked at Jonathan and gave Jim's hand a tug.

"Yeah, looks like you really found yourself a keeper, Jim," Jonathan sighed.

The investigation of Jonathan's bedroom upstairs resulted in antics that could only be considered risque if you were about eleven and had grown up with fanatically religious parents on a beet farm. In other words, a wander around Jonathan's bedroom had ended with the three of them getting into a pillow fight.

It started when Jim teased Jonathan about the number of pillows he had on his bed. And on the futon lounger on the other end of his bedroom.

"Hey, maybe you'd have had more luck in the bedroom if you took the effort to make your room surroundings comfortable," Jonathan retorted.

Pam put her hands to her mouth to conceal a squeal, but the delight in her eyes was impossible to miss. Jim responded by picking up one of the smaller velvet pillows on the bed and aiming it Jonathan's head. He hit his target perfectly. Jonathan immediately retaliated with a larger burgundy pillow, whacking it across Jim's chest. Pam couldn't resist giggling at the ridiculousness of it, and after a few more rounds of brotherly assault, the Halperts looked at each other and reached a silent agreement.

Under the guise of reaching for more weapons of down-filled destruction, Jim and Jonathan moved into position. On the appropriate nod from Jonathan, Jim grabbed Pam and threw her on Jonathan's bed, her protests loudly filling the air. Jonathan flipped one of the larger, fluffy pillows over to his brother and they both took turns attacking the poor giggling Pam. Her cries for mercy went largely ignored, until all three participants were laughing so hard they needed to stop to catch their breath.

Jonathan's king sized bed easily supported the three cohorts, and they spent a few minutes in comfortable bliss. Pam, lying in the center of the bed with one brother on each side sighed happily. "I could get used to this set-up," she mused.

Jim, on her right, sat up slightly. "I don't think so," he protested.

Pam reached for Jonathan's hand. "I think he wants to break us up, Jon."

Jon put his other hand over hers. "Don't worry, Pam. If he can't accept it like this we'll just have to go behind his back."

Pam looked over at Jim and then back to Jonathan. "Okay, that works for me."

Jim shook his head, trying not to laugh. "Jon, shouldn't you be back at work by now?"

Jon brought Pam's hand to his lips. "He's right, my love. I'm afraid I must go."

Pam sighed again dramatically as Jonathan got off the bed. Soon the three were back downstairs, seeing Jonathan off. "I should be home sometime after six," he told them. "So try and hold it together until then, okay?"

Jim pretended he was eager to see his brother leave, and shushed him out the door. Once Jonathan really did leave, Jim had to admit he enjoyed the thought of having Pam all to himself for a few hours. He had no worries that Pam and Jonathan were just having a laugh at his expense, but he still hadn't completely processed the fact that he and Pam were solidly together, and after sharing her like that upstairs, wanted the chance to re-confirm that it really was him she wanted to be with. Fortunately for him, the look she gave him once he had shut the front door told him that he didn't have anything to worry about.


	13. Chapter 20

"Hey," Jim smiled, still leaning against the front door. 

"Hi." Pam smiled back.

"So, what shall we do?"

"I don't know. What do you think we should do?"

"I'm open."

"Me, too."

They stared at each other for a moment, both grinning inanely. Jim made a step towards her, Pam met him halfway. The stood kissing at the front door for several minutes, both still slightly unable to believe they were together.

"You, ah, want to watch a movie?" Jim asked.

"Yeah, I could do that." She leaned in and kissed him again.

"Anything in particular?" he asked between kisses.

"Nothing comes to mind."

Jim finally pulled back a bit. "I think he, uh, keeps his dvds in the den," he said, taking her hand. "Follow me." Once in the den, he shut the door behind them.

"Jim, we're the only ones in the house. Do we really need to shut the door?"

"Sorry," he replied. "Force of habit." But she smiled when she noticed he made no move to reopen it.

"Ah, here's his collection," Pam mused. She browsed through Jonathan's well-represented selection of classic and recent movies. "Anything in particular you'd like to watch?" She asked. When he didn't reply she turned around. Jim was reclined on the guest bed. His long legs stretched out before him, crossed at the ankle. His arms were bent behind his head, and the smile that teased his lips said he had been watching her.

"Well?" she asked, copies of The Princess Bride and Galaxy Quest in her hands.

"Well what?" He continued to smile lazily at her from the bed.

"Hello? We were supposed to pick out a film to watch, not do whatever it is you seem to be doing." She put her hands on her hips, movies still in her hands. "What are you laughing about?"

"Come over here."

"Oh, no. I fell for that last time."

"No, seriously. You need to check out this mattress. You aren't going to believe how comfortable this is for one of those automatically inflated air mattress set thingies."

She grinned and shook her head. "No way. Stay with me, Halpert, I'm picking out a movie to watch. State a preference or risk an afternoon of chick flicks."

"Or you could risk an afternoon with me on this lovely air mattress."

"You're unbelievable," she said, unable to hid a grin. "We are guests in your brother's house. Show some decorum."

"I am! I waited until he left, didn't I?"

She shook her head and turned back to the shelves. "Okay, well consider yourself warned when we watch Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion followed by Steel Magnolias." She continued to read titles and pretended to ignore him, all the while enjoying the heady feeling she was experiencing from the positin he was putting her in. She felt comfortable around Jonathan, and she knew he was well aware of the budding relationship between Jim and her. Hell, he seemed to be revelling in it. Still, she just didn't think it very appropriate to spend the afternoon lying around half naked with the guy's brother in his own home. Maybe she was a prude, or maybe she had just heard "You aren't doing that while under my roof" once too often growing up at home. Either way she knew if she joined Jim on the bed, she'd spend too much time listening for Jonathan coming back home than enjoying herself. She realized that could just explain that to Jim, but then decided she'd rather just tease him. It was more fun that way.

She made a noise of suprised delight and grabbed another dvd off the shelf. She put the other films back in their place. "Okay, now we are ready."

Jim hadn't moved a muscle. "Ready to come join me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She moved to the door. "No, ready to watch a good movie." She walked toward the door, opened it and stood in the doorway. "You joining me or are you going to lie there and pout?"

"Depends," he replied. "Will pouting work?"

"No," she laughed. "But if you hurry maybe I'll give you some ice cream."

Jim jumped up and followed her out the door. "Well, why didn't you mention that in the first place?"

"I didn't realize how far above me it rated in the scheme of things, I guess."

"Do we even have any ice cream?"

"No idea, but I'll be surprised if Jonathan doesn't. It seems like he's got everything else around here."

She was not disappointed and it was obvious by the grin she gave Jim when she pulled her head out of the freezer. "Vanilla bean or rocky road?"

"Ooh, tough choice, Beesly." Jim thought a moment. "Why not both?"

"Greedy," she teased. "Well you're telling your brother we ate all his ice cream," she said, grabbing both tubs. She looked behind a few cabinet doors until she located some bowls. She was about to take down two small bowls when him stopped her.

"Why do we need two?" Jim asked, pulling one spoon and an ice cream scooper from a drawer.

"Because there's two of us?" she relied, looking at him as if he'd just lost understanding of basic counting skills.

"What? I'm not good enough to share a bowl and spoon with you?" Jim said, acting offended. "I assure you any cooties I may or may not possess have already migrated to you."

"Oh, not quite all of them, I'm sure," she said under her breath.

He came up behind her as she started to scoop ice cream into the one bowl Jim had put out in front of her. "What was that?" he asked, putting his hands around her waist and brushing his lips against her neck.

She grinned and leaned back against him. "I believe I said I did not have all of your cooties."

"Well, that's not my fault," he said softly, kissing her neck again. "You know I've been wanting to share my cooties with you for a long, long time."

She laughed and turned around in his embrace. "Now that's a pick-up line certain to charm the ladies." She put her hands on his chest, and paused for a moment. "You know I appreciate how patient you've been with me," she started, speaking in a low voice. She looked up into his hazel green eyes. "I just want things to be perfect. The time, the place, that sort of thing."

His eyes gazed on her warmly. "I think I've made my feelings pretty clear. Any time, any place, Beesly, and it would all be perfect to me. It's the just being with you that matters to me, all right?"

She nodded, pleased by his words. "Well, what I'm trying to say is that I was thinking," she said slowly, drawing a swirling pattern with her finger on his chest, "and perhaps, you know, Stamford might be just the right place."

Jim looked momentarily confused. "Stamford?"

"Yes," she said, focusing her gaze on her hands on his chest. "Maybe it would be nice for you and I to spend some time in Stamford this weekend. I could see your apartment and how your life is all set up there, and well," she slightly stammered, "I-I think it would be nice to be at your apartment."

Her meaning sunk in, and Jim felt his heart beat slightly faster. "Oh! Well, when do you want to go? Because I'm sure I could just leave Jonathan a note if you want to drive back now..."

She laughed and rested her forehead on his chest. "Tomorrow would be fine," she said, feeling herself blush.

"No, seriously. Jonathan would totally understand..."

She laughed harder. "Stop it, Halpert. I'm sure you can wait one more day."

He nuzzled her cheek until she lifted her head up. "I don't know, Beesly. All of a sudden it feels like Christmas Eve around here." Then he leaned down and kissed her, pressing her up against the kitchen counter. He moved his arm to caress her back, and in the process knocked the ice cream scoop on the floor. The loud clatter caused them both to jump.

Pam grinned, as Jim picked up the utensil and threw it in the sink.

"Now do you want to eat this ice cream before it completely melts?" she joked.

They made their way into the living room. Jim pulled the coffee table closer to the couch to rest their bowl and spoon on. "So what monstrosity are you putting me through?"

Pam sat on the floor in front of the dvd player. "Well I did warn you - so how about about When Harry Met Sally? That ought to be enough schmaltz to make you wince," she grinned.

"Hey, be nice" Jim protested. "I like that movie."

"Figures," Pam scoffed, "You are such a complete girl."

Jim looked at her. "Seriously? You don't like that movie?"

She laughed at his expression. "Of course I like that movie, you dork. But you're not supposed to!"

"Hey, I'm a renaissance man," Jim bragged, "I am open to all sorts of cinematic styles. Besides," he added softly, "that film's always kind of reminded me of us."

She turned around to look at him. "The part where Sally has an orgasm in the diner or the part where it takes forever for them to finally get together?"

"Oh, the first one, obviously," Jim rolled his eyes. "and you're calling me a dork."

"Well, my joke completely backfired then, because that's not the film I have here." She displayed the dvd box like a professional show model. "Ta da!" she said clearly excited. "I found a love story of a much different kind. Mike Myers' So I Married an Axe Murderer!"

"Wow. I didn't even know he had that movie!"

"Have you seen it?"

Jim made a face at her. "Seen it? Only about a hundred times. That's definitely on my Five for the Desert Island."

She stared at him for so long he started to get worried. "I think you just got a little more perfect right in front of my eyes," Pam grinned. "I had no idea what wonderful taste in films you had."

"Nearly as good as my taste in women."

"Yes, nearly." She finished loading the disk and joined him on the couch.

"I just love Mike Myers," Pam enthused. "This film is so damn funny."

Jim hit the play button on the remote and put the ice cream bowl on his lap. "Spoon?" he smiled, putting his free arm around her shoulders.

"Thanks," she said, snuggling closer. They spent a very pleasant couple of hours feeding each other ice cream and laughing together. When they'd worked through the bowl, Jim put it and the spoon back down on the coffee table. He grabbed a pillow and stretched out along the sofa, resting his head and upper body on Pam's lap. She liked how warm and solid he felt against her legs and stomach, and how natural it felt to curl his soft dark hair indolently around her finger.

Since she had arrived in Philadelphia, she noticed she was more aware of Jim's physical presence. He was too busy watching the film to notice her lazy smile as she thought about what she'd said to him in the kitchen earlier. Driving over to Stamford with the understanding of what lie ahead already made her feel a bit giddy. The feelings stirring within her just by him casually resting against her were enough to make her start to believe that she should have taken him up on the offer to drive over now. It might have taken her a little while to get comfortable with the idea of taking their relationship to the next level, but now that she felt she was ready, She wondered if the waiting was going to make her crazy.

"Earth to Pam." She was startled out of her reverie.

"Hmm?"

Jim pointed to the screen. "The film's over. Did you want to watch something else?"

"Oh, sure." she smiled slightly. "Why do you go find When Harry Met Sally?"

Jim sat up, turning back toward her. "You okay?"

She reached over, putting her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. "Yes"  
she whispered against his lips. He turned to put his arms around her, fully receptive to the feeling of her kissing him with such intensity. He felt her bite gently on his lower lip, opening his mouth so her tongue could explore his mouth. She pulled her tongue back out, only to coax his tongue into her by a gentle sucking sensation. He ran his hand along her side, slipping his hand under her sweatshirt. When he touched the silky fabric of her bra, he felt her arch toward him slightly. He stroked her nipple through the material, and felt her moan slightly into his mouth. It was his turn to tremble slightly when he felt her move her arm down his chest and rest her hand firmly against the thin material of his dress pants. He was still in the office attire he'd worn to the morning meeting, and her warm hand against his groin caused him to stiffen immediately. Her hand pressed more firmly against him as she continued to kiss him.

"Hey," he said throatily, pulling back slightly to breathe. "Where do you think you're heading with this, Beesly?"

"I don't know," she whispered truthfully, kissing his neck and brushing her cheek against his beard stubble. "but I didn't think you'd object."

He removed his hand from under her sweatshirt and cupped her face. 'I don't object in the slightest," he grinning, kissing her softly with a closed mouth. "But didn't I hear you say earlier that you wanted to behave in my brother's house? I thought you said you wanted to wait until tomorrow?"

"Damn your memory," she joked, her desire for him still burning brightly in her eyes.

He pulled away from her briefly to stand up. "Come on," he said, offering her his hand. "The least we should do is retreat to the den."

She took his hand and silently followed him to the den. Once inside, Jim closed the door. "Now what?" he asked, his eyes searching hers for guidance.

Pam leaned back against the door, her hand still clutching his. "I love you so much"  
she sighed. "Do you have any idea of how much I love you?"

Jim moved closer, his free hand coming up to push back the few curls that had come free from her barrette. "I have some idea of how much I love you," he answered, "which is why I'm willing to wait until tomorrow so things can be just as you want them to be."

She cast him a dangerous grin. "I suppose there are ways to manage until tomorrow," she said.

"And still manage to be a thoughtful guest?" he teased.

"To hell with Jonathan," she chucked. "He'll get over it." Still holding his hand tightly she crooked her head toward the bed. "Care for a massage?" she asked as innocently as she could.

Jim raised his eyebrow. "I suppose I could be talked into it." He leaned down to kiss her, and her hands moved up to undo his shirt buttons. He continued to kiss her while she untucked his shirt from his trousers and pushed the fabric off his shoulders. He managed to walk them over to the bed during all of this, only pausing when Pam reached down and began to take off his belt.

"You need to take my pants off as well?" he asked, both intriqued and amused.

"No, I don't need to," she purred. "I just thought you'd be more comfortable."

"Oh, of course. And this is all about me, isn't it?"

"Entirely. There's no reason I can think of to want to see you with your trousers off."

"Very well, then," Jim sighed. "But how comfortable are you going to be in those heavy jeans and that sweatshirt?"

Without a word, Pam pulled her sweatshirt off and threw it on the floor. "Better?" she asked a clearly bemused Jim.

"Wow. Was not expecting that," he said, looking with approval at her. "Maybe I should see if that door has a lock."

Pam leaned down and grabbed Jim's shirt from the floor. "Probably not a bad idea," she agreed, putting Jim's shirt on. It hung past her knees and needed the sleeves rolled up several times, but she was pleased with the comfortable oversized fit. Once it was buttoned up, she unzipped her jeans and left them on the floor with her sweatshirt.

"You still have your trousers on, Halpert." she said when she was done. "You just going to stand there and stare at me all afternoon?"

The grin he had given her earlier that day in that very same room had returned. "I can think of worse ways to spend a day," he replied. She put her hands on his waistband and unbuttoned his trousers. She slowly unzipped them and let them fall down. There was no question of Jim's interest in the proceedings, but she purposely avoided touching him and instead crawled on to the bed.

She curled up on the far side of the bed and gave the mattress a pat. "Ready for your massage?"

He shook his head slightly, like trying to dispel what certainly must be a mirage. Then he stretched out on the bed next to her, face down. "Like this?" he asked.

"Perfect," she replied, moving alongside him. "I don't have my bag, so we're just going to have to make due without the lotion, I'm afraid," she told him, rubbing her hands together to warm them.

"Damn," Jim complained. "And I really wanted to smell like pumpkin and cinnamon when we went to the pub tonight."

Pam giggled. "Well be good and I make sure we rub some on your pulse points before we leave later."

"Pulse points? That sounds obscene, Beesly."

"Don't be silly, Halpert. Kelly told me all about them. They are the areas of your body where the blood vessels are closest to the skin. That means they give off more heat and acting like mini fragrance pumps. Just so you know, your pulse points are the wrist, behind the ear, crook of the arm and knee, base of the throat."

"Thank you so much for that information, Beesly. I'm sure it will come in very useful."

"Well, don't forget it's also very important to apply frangrance around the ankles, because it will allow the scent to blossom up and stay with you longer."

"How did I survive this long not knowing all this valuable information?"

She smacked him playfully on the behind. "Don't be impertinent. I'm just trying to educate you."

"You call me impertinent, yet you're the one hitting me on the ass," Jim grumbled.

She couldn't help but giggle. "And if you're lucky there will be more of that coming later this week."

Jim shook his head in disbelief. "I have absolutely no response to that, Beesly. I'm not even sure at this point who you are."

She tugged in the waistband of his boxer shorts. "Move a little closer to the middle."

He complied and she climbed onto him, straddling him along his lower back. "Is that comfortable?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm doing okay," Jim replied, his tone a mix of surprise and amusement.

"Okay, good," she said. "Now just relax."

Jim's exquisite massage from the night before still fresh in her mind, Pam began to apply similar techniques to Jim. She found herself having to scoot further up his back to reach his neck and shoulders. She hadn't appreciated just how tall and lanky he was until this point. But his skin was warm and alluringly soft. She knew there were women who didn't have skin this silky. She fought the urge to lean down and just start kissing him.

"Wow," she said softly to herself. She hoped he was enjoying this, because she knew she certainly was.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," she blushed slightly. "Your skin just feels wonderful."

"That's what I said last night," he replied. "And I'm beginning to understand why you fell asleep."

"Boring?"

"Definitely not."

She smiled. She applied firm pressure in a circular motion across his shoulders. She could feel his muscles just underneath his skin. She couldn't help but briefly compare him with Roy, and despite the fact that Roy definitely had more muscle from his work in the warehouse, she found Jim's body more interesting. Less intimidating perhaps. Yet she couldn't imagine a scenario where she wouldn't feel secure being protected by those shoulders. It was just another moment in a list of many where she looked at his body and thought how much she wanted to sketch him.

"Jim," she said cautiously.

"Hmm..?"

"Do you think sometime you might be willing to let me sketch you?"

He turned his head slightly. "In what way?"

"Like this. Just you and me. I would like to capture more than your hands sometime."

"You've drawn my hands?"

She found herself blushing. She had momentarily forgotten that she'd never shared those drawings with him. A few had been made while he was still in Scranton, but the majority had been done this summer, while trying to nurse a lonely and broken heart. "Um, yeah. A few times, maybe." she stammered.

He tried to roll over, albeit unsuccessfully since she was still sitting on him. He pulled her down onto the bed so he could roll onto his side to face her. "Really?" he asked. "You've sketched me?"

"Yeah," she smiled sheepishly.

He seemed a bit taken aback by the idea. "When?"

"Um, once I did a basic outline during a long Michael meeting. The rest were pretty much going on memory." She looked up at him. "I spent a lot of time looking at you, Halpert, whether you knew it or not."

He wrapped his arm around her and moved closer to her. "I would love it if you would sketch me," he whispered, "And I'd love to see what you've already done."

"Oh, it's nothing much. More just doodling for my own satisfaction," she said, feeling a bit self-conscious having told him so much about it.

"Hey, don't do that."

She looked up. "Do what?"

"Talk so negatively about your artwork. I've seen your drawings, so I know how good they are. And that's one thing I want to be perfectly clear about, Beesly. I won't have you dissing your talent. Call it your 'early years' if you want, but don't act, don't believe that it's not good. Because it is. And I'm sure you're only going to get better."

She brought her head close to his. "Tell me again why it took me so damn long to see the amazing gift I have in you?" she asked tenderly.

Jim chuckled, kissing her brow. "I'm afraid I have no fucking clue what your problem was."

They both laughed, breaking the brief tension. "I love you, Beesly," he said, "I just want you to be happy."

She kissed him. "I love you, too. And I am happy. I can honestly say I am the happiest I've ever been, thanks to you."

Their tender moment was broken by the sound of a loudly slamming door.

"Hey guys, I managed to get home early!" The sound of Jonathan yelling was surely his polite way to warn them to put clothes on. Jim rolled his eyes dramatically, causing Pam to giggle.

"We'll be right out!" Jim shouted back.

"I guess the fun's over," Jim sighed, helping Pam to sit up.

"Oh, surely not over," Pam scolded. "Just time for a different kid of fun."

"Yeah, well just remember," he told her, pulling his trousers back on. "He's my brother, and no matter how drunk I get, or how much you plead, there will be no wild threesomes. That's just gross."

"Damn it," Pam pouted.


	14. Chapter 21

iThe Park Inn/i was, quite honestly, one of the most impressive bars Pam had ever been in. Well, bar and restaurant, really. The main floor was the restaurant, warm and inviting with dark wood and tiffany lamps. Downstairs featured a huge bar area which overlooked a stage and dance floor. One end of the restaurant was open to the stage below, so if you arrived for dinner in the later hours, you could still enjoy the music. 

"Wow, Jonathan," she said while they were seated at their booth, "We don't get this fancy in Scranton." 

"Now there's a surprise," Jonathan laughed.

Pam sat next to Jim, with Jonathan facing them opposite. When the waiter arrived the first thing Jonathan told him was that they wanted a bottle of Dom Pérignon for the table.

"What?" Jim exclaimed, "Did you see the price of that stuff?"

Jonathan shrugged. "It's a special occasion." He saw their quizzical looks. "Your anniversary?" he prompted.

"What anniversary?" Pam asked.

"Isn't tomorrow a week since you emailed Jim?"

Jim and Pam exchanged sheepish grins. "Honestly, people," Jonathan sighed. "Do I have to do everything for you two?"

"Well, a $130 bottle of champagne for a week is pretty impressive," Jim grinned. "I can't wait to see what we get for our first month together."

"Don't even start with me," Jonathan smiled. "Last week at this time you wouldn't have even dared to imagine these last 6 days, so don't tell me this isn't a big deal."

Jim grinned. "True," He nodded, then glanced over at Pam. "What do you think, Beesly?"

Pam slipped her arm through Jim's and rested her hand over his on the table. "I think your brother is correct, as usual."

"Now remember what I said," Jonathan said. "Tonight's on me: dinner, drinks, and a free ride home. Just try not to embarrass me too much."

Jim turned to Pam and gave her a very long kiss. Smiling at his brother he said, "You mean like that?"

"Hell, no," Jonathan replied, unruffled by the duo. "Just keep your clothes on and don't start any fights."

The champagne arrived. After the waiter poured the first glasses, Jonathan raised his glass. He paused, clearly thinking of an appropriate toast. "To True Love," he said at last.

Jim and Pam touched glasses with Jonathan, and then again between themselves. They sipped their champagne, and Jim gave Pam another kiss, albeit more restrained than the first.

The waiter returned shortly and took orders. When Pam excused herself to use the restroom, Jonathan leapt at his chance to grill his brother.

"So," Jonathan leered, "Did you guys have a nice afternoon while I was at work?"

Jim grinned over his champagne flute. "You mean the security cameras didn't get it all on tape for you?"

"Well, sure, but I don't pay extra for the audio connection. I thought maybe you'll like to add the commentary."

"Shut up, pervert," Jim laughed. "I'll have you know that Pam was quite concerned about maintaining propriety while under your roof." He raised his eyebrow at his brother. "That's why we are driving to Stamford tomorrow morning."

"What? You're fucking joking. You didn't mention you guys were leaving tomorrow."

"She brought up the idea this afternoon."

"What did she say?"

Jim shrugged. He was used to confiding in his brother, but he also felt a loyalty to Pam. He didn't want to embarrass her by saying too much. "Well, you know we've been taking things slowly. She just suggested spending some time alone at my apartment might be a good thing."

"Are you sure?" Jonathan looked sceptical. "That doesn't sound much like 'Take me to Stamford so we can fuck.' to me. I think you're delusional."

"So I'm paraphrasing." Jim saw Pam returning to the table. "But trust me, we're leaving as soon as we can tomorrow."

When she sat back down in the booth, Jim continued. "You can ask her if you like."

Jonathan's eyes widened and he had the courtesy to blush. Jim had put him in a tight spot. He might tease his brother about he and Pam's bedroom milestones, but he certainly wasn't going to bring the subject up with her.

"Ask me what?" Pam asked, smiling in interest.

"Jim said you guys were heading to Stamford tomorrow," Jonathan said. "He said you'd never been there and I was surprised to know that was true." He knew it sounded lame, but it was the best he could come up with. He shot Jim the familiar iI'm going to kill you the minute you fall asleep/i look the brothers knew so well. 

"No, this will my first time," Pam said. Jonathan grinned at Jim, leaving Pam unaware of the double entendre of her answer. "I am really looking forward to it."

Jim couldn't stop a laugh escaping, and Jonathan looked to change the subject. "I think our soups are coming," he said weakly.

Pam shot a suspicious look at Jim. "What you guys talking about really?" she asked.

Jim put his arm around her and kissed her temple. "Nothing important, honest. I promise I'll tell you later."

She wasn't sure she was in the mood to be fobbed off so lightly, but Jim refilled her flute. "Drink up, Beesly," he said goodnaturedly, "This is our night."

Soon the food did arrive. Pam had enough champagne already in her that her interest in food had declined a bit. Her french onion soup certainly was tasty, but she was more interested in looking around the restaurant, admiring the decor and the different tiffany lamp patterns. Soon the Dom Pérignon was emptied, and Jonathan replaced it with a more affordable sparkling wine. 

When Jonathan stepped away from the table to use the restroom, Pam leaned into Jim, giggling. "Please don't tell your brother, but I think this second wine tastes nicer."

Jim looked lovingly at her. "I do, too, but that probably just shows what wine amateurs we are."

She giggled some more. "I'm happy to be an amateur at those prices."

Jim laughed. "Yeah, me too. But we'll pretend otherwise for Jonathan tonight."

"Am I sitting to close to you?" she asked, "I could move over if I'm crowding you."

"Would that even be possible?" he asked, putting his arm around her briefly and squeezing her shoulders. "You sit as close you like."

She smiled. "Yeah, well I guess I'm still getting used to being able to do that." Pam put her hand under the table and rested it on Jim's thigh. "I assume you're okay with that, too?"

He bit his lip, a faint smile appearing. "Why do I have the impression you are going to be a bit of a handful tonight?"

She smirked. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"How much we end up embarrassing Jonathan tonight."

"Right," she nodded. "I'll be good then." She inched her hand up Jim's leg slightly.

"Beesly, are you already drunk?"

"Heavens, no," she smiled. "You've just never seen me drink when I'm happy to start with."

"I may just have to keep you drinking all weekend then."

She hugged his arm, lacing her fingers through his. "That works for me, Halpert. Just so long as I stay sober enough to remember every detail." She paused. "I'll need the memories to get me through the following week."

Jim frowned at her comment. Next week wasn't something he even had thought about. "Let's forget about that for now. It's just Happy Thoughts here."

She nodded. "Of course. Happy Thoughts. Now quick, kiss me again. Jonathan's coming back."

Jim grinned and complied happily.

"For Pete's sake," Jonathan groaned, sliding back into the booth. "You realize you are only entitled to a finite number of those things. You're going to run out before you know it if you aren't careful."

Pam stuck out her tongue at him and went back to eating. The mood at the table remained jovial during the subsequent meal, additional wine and desserts of rich chocolate mousse.

"Pam, I really hope you know your way around a kitchen well enough to prepare Jim's favorite dessert," Jonathan said with the mousse had arrived.

"And that would be?"

"Chocolate pudding. Preferably Jell-o brand. Oh, and the regular instant, not that sugar-free crap."

Pam laughed. "I'll make sure to practice a few times before making him some. I know how tricking pudding can be."

"I never said chocolate pudding was my favorite dessert," Jim protested. "I just said it was ONE of my favorites."

"So what is your favorite dessert then?" Pam asked.

Jim thought a moment. "Well, I do like french silk pie," he said.

"Chocolate pudding in a pie crust," Jonathan interjected.

Jim glared at his brother. "And Mississippi Mud Pie is really tasty,"

"Chocolate coffee-flavoured pudding in a crust," Jonathan interupted again.

"but I really like cheesecake." Jim finished. "So there."

Pam giggled. "So cheesecake with chocolate pudding topping would earn me points, right?"

Jim nodded. "Most definitely." 

"Yum." Pam replied. She couldn't help but picture them eating cheesecake and pudding in bed in Stamford tomorrow. She wasn't sure if the yum was for the dessert, the location or the company, so she said it again. "Yum."

When dessert was taken away, Jonathan ordered a coffee. Jim had an Irish coffee, and Pam finished off the second bottle of sparkling wine. She definitely was feeling a buzz, but not officially drunk, as the food had started to slow down the wine's metabolism. She felt like the luckiest girl in the world, seated with two such attractive guys. And they weren't just good looking, but intelligent and funny and sweet to top it off. She almost wanted to cry, she was so happy to be there. And the kicker was that one of them was hers. She could make eye contact with every single beautiful women in that room and give them a look that said "See this guy sitting next to me? He's mine. So back off." She giggled just imagining herself doing that. She'd have to tell Jim about it later. He'd think she was nuts, but she knew he'd enjoy it. She had a feeling he'd really get a kick out of how proud she was to be seen with him.

They'd been in the Park Inn for nearly two hours when they decided to head downstairs to the bar. Pam made sure to hold on to both brothers as she made her way down the steps. It wasn't that she was drunk, she reasoned, but that she was just so ungraceful. Jim and Jonthan exchanged a glance over her head, but in the end just decided to agreed with her. 

There was a reasonably sized group for a Wednesday night hanging around the bar. Pam made her way to a small round high table that sat somewhere between the bar and the dance floor. She climbed up onto the barstool with a little bit of help from Jim. The dance floor was practically empty, but the DJ had just started his first set so Pam hoped things would warm up soon. 

The waitress stopped by. More wine for Pam, a beer for Jim, and seltzer for Jonathan. Pam had started a little chair dancing to the music, and so leaned over to Jim. "Will you dance with me later?" She asked.

"Depends," he grinned. "I am a notoriously bad dancer. Just ask Jon."

Jonathan nodded intently. "Don't even ask him to try unless he's too drunk to walk. It's painful to watch otherwise. At least when he's drunk he's funny."

Jim shrugged. "I am a tall gangly white boy. What can I say?"

Pam pushed his beer a little closer to him. "Well, start drinking. Who knows when we'll get another chance."

Jim shook his head, but took a another drink of beer anyway. "We'll see," was as far as he was willing to commit.

Pam's hopes for a crowded dance floor appeared to coming true as the evening progressed. The music put a significant damper on the conversation, so Pam had moved her chair right up against Jim's so she could hear what he was saying. That also made it convenient for her to go back to putting her hand on his thigh. Their position at the table hid her hand from Jonathan's gaze, which combined with the wine, made her feel a bit bolder than she'd typically be in public. Jim rested his right arm around the back of her chair, and now and then she could feel him tracing little circles into her back and shoulder that made her shiver. Pam couldn't remember the last time she spent such a pleasant evening in a bar. Her memories of times spent with Roy in Poor Richards usually involved her sitting alone while he chatting with his buddies, or of her having to help an overly drunk Roy get back home. Here she was being practically doted on. she thought should could really get used to it.

Shortly into the DJ's second set, he heard him say that he had a box at the bar for special requests. After that announcement, she noticed he sometimes prefaced songs, both fast and slow, with dedications. Another glass of wine later, she had an idea. She slipped away from the guys under the guise of another restroom break, and walked over to the request box at the front of the bar. Smiled as she wrote her request, folded it and dropped it into the box. She bought another round of beer and seltzer, and came back to the table.

"Here's another beer, Jim," she said sitting back down next to him. "Think you've had enough to dance yet?"

He had his arm still on the back of her chair, and reached up to rub her back. "Still working on it, Beesly."

"You might want a few more of those brought to the table," Jonathan added helpfully, pointing at the fresh beer.

Pam rolled her eyes. "You guys are awful. It's just a little dancing, for goodness' sake. It's not like anyone's even going to be watching you."

"Pam, I'm refraining for the sake of our relationship," Jim said, trying to look serious. "You will find yourself seriously doubting my compatibility as a mate if you see me dance."

"Compatibility as a mate?" she said, teasing him about his choice of words.

Jim blushed slightly, "Mate, partner, boyfriend, whatever. You know what I mean."

She giggled. "I'm thinking you've had plenty to drink."

The trio continued to people watch, finding more than enough to amuse them in the variety of customers crowding the bar and the dance floor. Pam was a little anxious to see if her request was going to be played, so she amused herself by slowly inching her hand up Jim's thigh. She wondered how far up she could go before he stopped her. She began to wonder if he was on to her little game, because she had her hand mere centimeters from his crotch and he still hadn't reacted. She then changed tactics, sliding her hand along the inside of his thigh. Again no response. She slowely started to trace small circles on the inside of his thigh, mimicking the patterns he'd drawn on her back early. 

Jim finally leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Enjoying yourself?"

She flashed him a wide smile. "Enormously. You?"

He shook his head slightly. "You, Beesly, are a horrible, horrible tease. You will pay for your torment later."

"Torment? Am I bothering you?"

His look said it all. "Let's just say I won't be standing up any time soon."

She purposely bumped her hand higher. She felt terribly pleased with herself when she realized he wasn't kidding. "Sorry," she said, grinning.

"Like hell you are," he replied, trying not to laugh. "You're just lucky I promised Jonathan I wouldn't embarrass him tonight."

At that point Pam heard the room get quieter. The DJ ended his second set by saying, "When I come back, I'll start out with all those requests you guys have been making."

Pam began to worry. It would completely ruin her plan if he wouldn't get up to dance.  
"Well, start thinking about Dwight having sex," she said.

Jim rolled his eyes, "God, that's disgusting," he replied. "Just mentioning such an idea has completely ruined me." 

Pam laughed. "Good."

Jonathan couldn't hear what they were saying, but could tell from the looks on their faces that he shouldn't bother to ask. "Do you guys want to get going anytime soon?"

Jim put down his beer. "I guess we could go. Let me just run to the bathroom." 

When Jim left, Pam turned to Jonathan, looking slightly panicked. "Hey," she said, "Is it okay if we wait a little longer? I sort of put in a request to the DJ and I'd like to see if he plays it."

Jonathan nodded. "Oh - so that's what the dancing talk was about," he grinned. "No problem. I'll correct my faux pas when Jim comes back."

"Thanks." She looked down at the table. "You know, I've never danced with Jim," she said shyly. "We swayed once, though."

"Swayed?"

"Yeah, long story. I'll tell you about later."

Jim walked back to the table to see Pam and Jonathan still firmly in their seats. "Hey, I just remember that I told a friend I would look for them here tonight," Jonathan said casually. "Mind if we wait it out a little longer?"

Jim shrugged and sat back. Pam looked up at him, smiling. He rewarded her with a kiss. "You okay?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" she asked, still grinning.

"You look like you're up to something."

Pam looked down, and felt herself blush. Damn him for knowing her so well. She hoped he'd blame it on the wine. "No, everything's good," she replied, looking back up at him.

He made a face that made it clear he wasn't convinced, but he said no more. 

"What time are you two kids busting out of here tomorrow?" Jonathan asked.

Jim looked at Pam, then back at his brother. "We hadn't set a time, really. I guess some time after we wake up and get breakfast. Probably after rush hour." Pam was nodding in agreement. "Do you need us out at a certain time?"

Jonathan shook his head. "Not really. I have a meeting after lunch, but other than that I'm flexible. I just wondered."

"Shit!" Jim sat upright.

"What?" Jonathan and Pam said in unison.

"I nearly forgot about my car. It's still at the Marriott."

"Can't we just pick it up on the way out of town?" Pam asked.

"Oh, that's right," Jonathan said. "You guys each have a car here." He thought a moment. "Why don't you guys drop me off tomorrow at your car and I'll look after it until I drive it over to you on Sunday. I was going to visit for a few days anyway, remember?"

Jim didn't remember any such arrangement, but he blamed it on the beer. "Then how will you get back to Philly?"

"I'll just catch a train from Grand Central. No big deal."

Jim nodded. "Sure. Thanks."

Pam noticed the DJ putting his headphones back on, and felt her stomach do a little flip. She chided herself for being silly. It was just a dance, after all. It wasn't a big deal that it would be her first chance to dance with Jim, tried to tell herself. Nor did it matter that she'd picked a song she'd always consider one of 'their' songs. iShit, what if doesn't want to dance with me?/i she fretted.

The DJ's first request wasn't hers. Neither was the second nor the third. She was starting to believe that it wasn't going to happen, so she caught Jonathan's eye and shook her head. She knew he wanted to go home, and felt like she was wasting his time. Jonathan seemed to be ignoring her cue, however, as he continued to sit and people watch. Finally the DJ answered her prayers.

"Okay folks, the next request is a little bit of Travis, and it's going out to Jim and Pam."

Pam felt her heart pounding as she turned to Jim. "Care to sway?" she asked, knowing her face was already flushing.

He looked at her a moment as he heard the beginning notes of iSing/i. He didn't say a word, just stood up and took her hand. He let her lead him out on to the dance floor. She brought her hands up behind his neck and he placed his hands loosely on hips.

"For the love you bring won't mean a thing," she sang softly to him. "Unless you sing, sing, sing."

His eyes didn't waver from hers, but she could see a trace of a smile, and more importantly she could see love. They really didn't dance as much as sway to the music, but it was the best dance she could ever remember having. 

After being out there for a while, Jim leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Nice choice, Beesly," he said.

"Could there be any other?" she whispered back. Before he could straighten up, she moved closer and kissed him. He returned her kiss as they heard the song ending. He was about to start walking off the dance floor when Pam heard the next song starting: iAlways on My Mind/i, by Phantom Planet.

She pulled him back toward her. "I love this song!" she beamed. 

"It's a little fast," he complained.

She placed his hands on her hips and put her hands up around his neck again. "Just follow my lead and sway, Halpert."

He shook his head, smiling. "The things I do for you, Beesly," he said softly.

She rested her cheek on his chest for a minute, and she felt his hands tighten slightly against her hips. She then leaned back away, intent to make the most of their time on the dance floor.

She found herself singing along again. "Well, I turn pale when he walks by, I am lost in his eyes, he is always on my mind, he is always on my mind," she sang, conveniently switching personal pronouns. Jim watched her, completely captivated.

She knew Jim too well to push for a third song, so as the strains of iAlways on My Mind/i faded she took his hand and dutifully walked him back to Jonathan.

"We are now ready to go, Jonathan dear," Pam smiled.

"You were in on this?" Jim looked at his brother skeptically.

"Oh no," Jonathan raised his hands up in surrender. "You take it out on her. She just asked me to stick around long enough for them to play the right song."

Jim, who was standing behind Pam, folded his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close against his chest. He kissed her neck, "Oh, she will pay," he grinned.

The air was refreshingly cool as it hit her face when they walked out of the building. Pam thought it contrasted nicely with the warmth of Jim's hand. She could still hear the music as they walked, and she couldn't help dancing a bit. She didn't even care that both Halpert brothers were laughing at her. It had been a really good evening.

She slid into the back seat of Jonathan's car, pulling Jim in with her. Jonathan started the car. "I just had those seat cleaned," he admonished them, "so no funny stuff back there."

Pam fell into a fit of the giggles at this comment, and it was several minutes before she could catch her breath. She snuggled up to Jim, his arm wrapped around her waist, and let her hand drift back to his thigh.

He looked over at her, but didn't move her hand. "I'm sensing a pattern here, Beesly," he said in her ear.

"You are very perceptive, Jim." She grinned, moving her hand higher. "Whatever could it mean?"

"I think it means you are going to behave yourself until we get somewhere more private."

She pouted. "You are no fun, Halpert."

He nuzzled her ear and neck. "Let's see if your saying that tomorrow, Beesly," he replied, his voice sounding gravelly. She turned her head and kissed him. Jim brought his free hand up to cup her face, letting it slowly trail down along her neck. It was only the awareness of his brother as their driver that stopped him from going any further. When he finally pulled back, she rested her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around him for the rest of the drive.

She had fallen asleep by the time they pulled into Jonathan's driveway. The stopping of the car woke her up, and she felt a little woozy until she felt the outside air hit her. She stood in the front yard taking a few deep breaths, while Jim grabbed their luggage from the back of her car. Jonathan offered his arm to help her into the house, and by that time she felt wide away, if still a bit tipsy.

Giving Jonathan a big good night hug and kiss, as well as effusive thanks for everything that evening, Pam decided that a good way to keep her balance was to grab on to the back of Jim's pants, looping her fingers through his belt. She then followed him from room to room, giggling as they got ready for bed. Pam stumbled into the den after Jim, still holding onto the back of his belt.

"Okay, you can let go now," Jim joked, turning around.

"Never," she grinned. She wrapped both arms around his waist, hands still holding on to his belt.

Jim laughed, and put his arms around her. "I promise," he teased, "I'm not anywhere."

She looked up. "Really promise?"

He nodded. "I swear."

"Kiss me first."

He obeyed.

"Mmmmm," Pam sighed happily. "I'm glad you aren't going anywhere." She loosened her grip on his belt, but rested her head against his chest and kept her arms around him.

"Come on, Beesly," he said gently. "Let's get you to bed."

"I love you, Jim,"

His kissed the top her head. "and I love you. Now let's get some sleep so we can get out of here at a good hour tomorrow."

"oh yeah," Pam murmured against his chest. "Tomorrow's going to be fun." She started to giggle.

Jim smiled. "I don't think I've ever heard you laugh as much as I have tonight," he said.

"Honestly, I don't think I've laughed my whole life as much as I have this week. And that's all because of you." She poked her index finger into chest to emphasis each word of her last sentence. "Have I mentioned how fucking wonderful you are?"

"Why don't get get in bed and you can tell me all about it?" he grinned affectionately at her.

"Okay, excellent idea," Pam agreed. She pulled her sweatshirt up over her head and threw it on the floor. She kicked off her shoes, and then unzipped her jeans. Soon they too were on the floor with her sweatshirt. Peeling off her socks, so stood before him in her bra and panties. "Look at you," she scolded, reaching for the buttons on his shirt, "What is taking you so long?" He was too amused at her antics to protest, so she unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it off him and throwing it on the growing clothes pile. She then moved for his pants. She fumbled a bit with the belt, so Jim took pity on her and assisted her. When he was down to his boxers, Pam turned down the blankets on the bed and crawled over to the right side.

"No pajamas?" Jim asked.

"Pshaw," she said, making a dismissive gesture with her hand. "This is good enough. Come on before I forget the reasons you're so wonderful."

Jim switched off the light and crawled in next to her. "You mean fucking wonderful, don't you?"

"Damn straight," she replied. She was lying on her back, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. "Reason Number One," she began, "You love me. You've loved me for such a long time, even when I was a complete idiot and such a total bitch to you that I clearly didn't deserve such devotion. That alone will always make you fucking wonderful."

"You weren't a total bitch to me," Jim replied.

"Close enough," Pam said. "I certainly stomped on your feelings more times than I can bear to think about." She turned to face him. "Why in the world do you still talk to me, much less love me?"

Jim turned to face her in the darkness. "Because you are so fucking wonderful, too," he replied. "You have flaws and imperfections, but I have them too."

Pam snorted, "Name one."

"I can easily get jealous without a good reason."

"Fine. Name five."

"I get impatient over stupid things. I don't take the right things seriously when I should. I can be very passive-agressive. Um...and I'm afraid of spiders. That makes a total of five."

"You're right, I take it all back. You completely suck."

He pulled her close to him. "For the right girl, you bet I do." He pressed forward and kissed her, biting and licking her lips until she opened her mouth. He felt her hand at the back of his head, her fingers curling around the tendrils at the nape of his neck. Dressed only in her underwear, this was the closest he'd been to feeling her naked, and it didn't take long for him to feel completely aroused by her touch.

He pushed her away slightly, rolling onto his back. Moving just far enough away to get some oxygen back to his brain. He knew if he didn't stop now, he wouldn't be stopping, and as much as he knew she wanted him too, he wanted to keep things special the way Pam had envisioned. But more importantly that than, he also didn't want their first time tinged with so much alcohol. He didn't feel very drunk, but he knew Pam was, despite her claims. She was at least as drunk as the night of the Dundies, and so his feelings of protectiveness overrode his feelings of lust and attraction. Just barely, granted, but he strove to stick to the high road. It wasn't even close to easy. 

"Jim?" She had felt him pull back, and suddenly felt shy. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," he replied softly. "We should just get to sleep."

She put her hand out, feeling the warmness of his bare chest. "Did I do something wrong?"

He laughed briefly. "No. I just don't think it's a good idea to start anything tonight."

She kept her hand on his chest. "You are such an incredible kisser," she said, almost more to herself than to him.

"Thanks," Jim said. He wasn't quite sure what reply was expected for compliment like that. "It helps that you aren't so bad either."

She giggled, moving closer to him. "Will you kiss me again?"

"Not tonight, Pam. Just go to sleep." He tried to avoid having her touch him. Even just her one hand on his chest was enough to keep him erect. 

Unfortunately all that wine left Pam immune to subtlety. "Why, Jim?" she asked. She began to stroke his chest. She liked how coarse the hair felt under her fingers. 

"Pam, you're drunk. I don't want anything to happen when you're like this."

He realized that he had just said the very worst thing he could have said, because she had now moved even closer, and her hand travelled down his chest and past his stomach. He drew his breath in sharply when he felt her put her hand inside his boxer shorts.

"Something like this, you mean?" Pam asked, her breath warm against his cheek.

"Yeah," he replied huskily. "Something like that."

She kissed him. If he had intended on putting up any resistance, the idea was quickly rejected when she started pulling his boxers down. He brush her hand away and took off his boxer shorts in one quick movement, pulling them out from under the blankets and dropping them on the floor. He slid his body closer toward the middle of the mattress, that much closer to her. While he continued to kiss her, he reached for her hand and placed it back where it had been. She wrapped her hand around him, and gently began to stroke him.

She continued in this fashion, and could feel him trembling beneath her touch. She was still amazed at the reaction he had to her kiss, to her touch, and all it made her want to do is continue. She wanted him to feel fantastic and know it was because of her.

"I love you, Jim," she whispered against his moist lips. He nodded slightly, but said nothing. She kissed him in the hollow of his throat, tasting his skin. Then she peeled the blankets back and took in the view of his naked body. Even in the relative darkness she could make out his form, see the curve of muscles. She adjusted her position, moving her feet towards her pillow, as she switched the hand she was pleasuring him with, and leaned down to rest on her right elbow. She could smell him, and it was strong but not in the least bit unpleasant. It was musk and rich like a soap. He heard him give a low deep moan when her tongue pressed against his flesh again. She concentrated on running her tongue around his tip, pressing it flat against the underside and sucking slightly. She took him in her mouth little by little, and the shifting of his hips made it clear she was driving him slowely insane. When she reached the base, she slid completely him and out of her mouth.

"Pam, please..." he said, and moved his hips to indicate the rhythm he needed. She acquiesced to his demands, deciding she had teased him long enough. It was not long before his breath came in pants and she felt the hard rapid pulsing against her lips.

When she was done, she tenderly pulled the blankets back up and rolled on her side, away from him. Maybe the wine was finally wearing off, or maybe she was just tired, but she felt a little sad and she wasn't sure why. It wasn't from what she had just done, that much she was certain. She adored the power she had over him like that. She decided she wasn't in the right state of mind to question her sadness. She'd just go to sleep and deal with it all tomorrow.

Jim wasn't so easily dismissed, though. Once recovered he was aware she had moved away from him. He moved closer, resting his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said softly. But soon the sound of a sniffle gave her away.

"Hey," Jim said again, pulling her on her back to face him. "What's the matter?"

I don't know," she said, tears glistening on her cheeks. "I'm just feeling sad."

Jim wasn't sure what to say. "I hope I - I mean, you didn't have to, you know."

He thought he heard her giggle slightly. "No, I'm not sad about that. I liked that."

He brushed her shoulder with his lips. "Oh that's good. I liked that, too."

She giggled again. "Quit it. I'm trying to be sad here."

He slid his arms over and under her, and hugged her as tightly as he could. "You're just tired, Pam. Just close your eyes and let me take care of you." He kissed her temple. She turned back onto her right side, but this time drew Jim's arms around her, spooning against his warm chest and stomach.

"I really love you, you know," he whispered in her ear.

she hugged his arms tighter. "I really, really, love you too, Jim." 


	15. Chapter 22

Jim opened his eyes. The light peeping around the window blinds told him morning had arrived. He could see the clock on the wall. It was 7:45am, a good time to start moving if they wanted to get on the road to Stamford with plenty of time left in the day. Jim looked over at Pam, still soundly asleep. He could hear her snoring slightly, and the noise made him smile. Yeah, I'll be enjoying that in 20 years, he grinned to himself. But for now he found it adorable. He was surprised to find that they had spent the entire night in the same position they had fallen asleep in. He gently kissed her bare shoulder, thinking that there was nothing more he wanted than to get back to Stamford with her. He tried to remember what condition he had left his apartment in, but decided that it probably didn't matter much. At least he knew he'd washed his bedsheets recently. 

His movement while waking set off a sharp pain in his right arm. It had become numb, lying under Pam's waist all night, and the pins and needles feeling was getting stronger. He carefully pulled his arm out from under her without waking her. He sat up in bed, flexing his arm to get the feeling back. He decided to let Pam sleep a little longer while he stepped out to use the bathroom.

Jonathan was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper. "Morning, brother," Jonathan said without looking up.

"Hey," Jim said. The coffee smelled wonderful. Jim reached for a mug, poured himself some, then sat across from his brother at the table. "Any good news?"

"Eh," Jonathan grunted. He turned a page. "Oh wait, here's some. 'In Strange But True: Jim Halpert is finally going to be giving it all to dream girl Pam Beesly. How long will he last and will she come back for more? Stay tuned for tomorrow's update."

Jim put down his mug. "Oh, c'mon man. Don't even start with me on that. Not today."

Jonathan put down his paper. "What's wrong? I was just teasing."

Jim shook his head and keep his eyes on his hands that were wrapped around his coffee. "I'm just not in the mood for it, Jon."

"What's wrong?" Jonathan asked. "Did something go wrong last night?"

"No, no of course not." Jim smiled slightly at last night's memories.

"I'm sorry, Jim," Jonathan said, looking contrite. "I know I've been teasing you mercilessly about this all week. I'll back off."

Jim look up at his brother. "It's just weird, Jon," he began. "I guess I'm just feeling a bit nervous." He drank some more coffee. "I mean you usually don't plan these things, they just happen."

"I somehow doubt you would have had to push her much for it to have 'just happened,'" Jon said. "I mean, if that's what you wanted."

"Yeah, maybe," Jim said, looking back down into his coffee again. "It's not the waiting I mind though. Not really. It's the anticipation that's killing me. The first thought I had when I woke up was 'today's the day.' Hell, this is what it must feel like the morning of your wedding day. Something tells me I'm going to be pretty distracted until it happens."

Jonathan laughed. "Well that sounds romantic."

"Exactly. It's like part of me just wants it to be over with."

"You don't really believe that."

Jim shrugged. "I just hate worrying about it."

Jonathan smiled. "What's there to worry about? You don't think she'll be impressed?"

Jim managed a smile at his brother's ribbing. "No - hell, I don't what I'm worried about. I guess I feel like there's been such a big build up that something has to go wrong."

"Hey, well tell her this," Jonathan said. "Tell her that you won't know what you'll do until you get there. Once you arrive you'll flip a coin and if it's head you'll have sex, and if it's tails, you don't."

Jim laughed. "Yeah, that would work."

"The beauty of it is that if you don't get heads, you can agree to go for best out of 3."

Jim stood up and put his mug in the sink. "Thanks, Jon." he smiled. "I knew I could count on your wisdom." 

When Jim came back into the bedroom, Pam was still sleeping soundly. He had brought a large glass of water and a bottle of Excedrine, just in case. He hoped she wasn't going to be feeling any ill effects of last night's champagne. He climbed back into bed, spooning up behind her, arm back around her waist.

"Pam," he said softly. He nuzzled her neck, placing kisses down her neck and shoulder. "Time to get up, Beesly."

Pam moaned slightly and moved on to her stomach. She clearly had other ideas. Jim chuckled, moving closing. He started to rub her back. "Come on, Beesly. Rise and shine."

Pam turned her head to face him. "Shh," she said, her eyes still closed. "People are trying to sleep here." She smiled slightly. "But continue that that back rub, please. That feels wonderful." 

Jim pushed her hair out of her face, kissing her just above the ear. "There will be plenty of time for backrubs in Stamford," he whispered.

Her eyes opened, and she groaned, stretching and rolling over onto her back. "Stamford," she said slowly. She looked up at Jim, his face enticingly quite near her own. "I guess that makes today Christmas," she said. She brought her right arm up and around his neck, lowering his face to hers.

"Merry Christmas, then," Jim replied kissing her. "I hope Santa brought me something good this year."

"Depends," she said between kisses, "Have you been a good boy or bad boy?"

"Oh, I think I've been an exceptionally good boy."

"That's a shame," she teased. "It's the bad boys who'll get the real treats today." 

Jim dropped his head against her shoulder, unable to supress his laughter. "Alright, Beesly. Let's get going." He sat up and offered his hand to help her do the same. "You feeling okay this morning then?"

She made a face as she sat up. "Eh. Not too bad. I feel terribly thirsty, though."

Jim reached for the glass on the shelf near the bed. "Water?" he offered.

She grabbed it eagerly. "Oh my god, I love you," she said, drinking it down even quicker. "Thank you."

Jim smiled. "I also brought some Excedrine in case you needed it."

She shook her head. "I think I'll be okay. At least after about 10 more glasses of water."

Jim watched her slide off the bed and grab her overnight bag. "Hey," he said, "You remember everything from last night?"

She dropped her bag on the bed, zipping it open. "Um, yeah, I think so. I wasn't really that drunk."

"You sure about that?" Jim grinned.

"Why?" 

"No reason, you just seemed awfully adamant last night that I was wonderful."

"No, I was awfully adamant that you were fucking wonderful," she grinned. "Damn - I really should have thought to bring more clothes."

"It doesn't matter, we aren't going anywhere special." Jim said dismissively. "Anyway, I just wanted to know if you remember crying last night."

She looked up from her bag. "You mean after?"

Jim nodded.

She shrugged. "It wasn't anything serious."

"You want to tell me what it was about anyway?"

"It's stupid. The effects of the alcohol made it worse."

Jim just looked at her. "I don't mind stupid."

She sighed. "There have been more than a few times over the past week where I just get emotional about things. About how things have turned out." She looked back down at her luggage. "Sometimes it just hits me that I don't feel like I deserve you."

Jim stood up and pulled her into his arms. "And you felt that way last night?" His kissed her temple. "After all that you did for me last night?"

She nodded, and his kissed her again. "You're right, that is stupid."

She laughed. "Thanks for clearing that up."

He lifted her chin to look at her. "We both deserve to be happy. You make me happy."

She nodded again. "You make me happy."

"See? End of story, Beesly. Do I need to repeat last night's list as to why I'm not perfect?"

"Nah," she smiled, "I figure we can make a new, expanded list to pass the time on the drive."

By the time Pam and Jim had dressed and packed up their stuff it was nearing nine o'clock. Jonathan was still in the kitchen, this time typing away at his laptop.

"I wondered when you lovebirds would be appearing," he said pleasantly. "Feeling okay I hope, Pam?"

"Oh yeah," she smiled. "I'm just fine."

"Yes, you seemed like you were pretty fine last night, too." Jonathan grinned. "I'm glad you aren't paying for it today. Nothing worse than a long car ride with a hangover."

"Speaking of," Jim interupted, "I think we're ready to go when you are, Jon."

"I thought you guys were going to have breakfast first." Jonathan replied.

Jim and Pam looked at each other. "I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be hungry until lunch," Pam said.

"Well far be it for me to be the one holding you up," Jon said, standing up. "Let's get you guys on the road."

Jim was relieved to find his car untouched and still waiting for him in the convention center parking lot. He opened it up, grabbed a few CDs from the glove compartment, and handed Jonathan the keys. "Now take care of her until Sunday," he admonished. "She's a very fine automobile."

"Yes," Jonathan grinned, "1997 always was a good year for Toyotas."

Pam got out of the car to give Jonathan a hug. "It's been lovely as always," she told him.

"Yeah, I guess I'll be seeing you around more from now on," Jonathan replied, kissing her cheek. "Try and keep him out of trouble, okay?"

Pam laughed. "We'll see. I suspect you'd enjoy it more if concentrated on getting him INTO trouble."

The look on Jonathan's face made her laugh even harder. "I think she's on to us, Jim," Jonathan said.

"She's pretty observant, Jon," Jim replied. "We're going to have to start speaking in code soon."

Pam handed Jim the keys and got into the passenger's seat. Jim turned to wave to his brother, who was making an exaggerated 'call me' motion as they drove away. "He's insane," Jim laughed as they pulled out of the parking deck and merged with mid-day Philadelphia traffic.

"So what exactly did you tell him about us going to Stamford?" She asked, eyebrow raised.

Jim tried not smile. "What do you mean?"

"'What do you mean?'" she mimicked. "You know what I mean. You and your brother have been impugning my good name."

"Impugning?" Jim whooped in laughter. "Do people even use that word anymore?"

Pam smacked him in the arm, trying not to laugh. "What have you been telling him?"

"What do you want me to say? He's my brother." Jim grinned. "It's not like the guy hasn't been around..." Jim let the rest of his thought go unsaid.

"Been around what?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I was going to say it's not like he hasn't been around to hear me go on about you incessantly ever since I first fell in love with you."

Pam reached over and touched his arm. "I never said Jonathan wasn't a great brother. It's just, well, you remember how embarrassed I was on Sunday when I thought the pizza guy knew we'd been making out."

Jim laughed. "You don't seriously think I've been supplying Jonathan with some sort of play-by-play, do you?"

Pam dropped her hand back into her lap. "Well I don't know what you talk about..."

He glanced over at her. "Do you really think I'd do that to you?"

"No," Pam admitted.

"Hey, what we do is between you and me. I'd never tell anyone about that."

"But I know you've told him something about why we are going to Stamford."

Jim chuckled. "Pam, give the guy some credit. He would have figured it out."

She couldn't prevent grinning, but said nothing. She pretended to be fascinated by the passing scenery.

"What did you say though?" she finally asked.

Jim shrugged. "I just told him that you thought it might be nice to go spend some time alone at my apartment."

She nodded.

"Was that okay?"

She looked at Jim for a moment. When he glanced over, she blushed slightly. "Yeah, of course it was," she confessed. "I don't know why I'm being so difficult today. I imagine he's probably been giving you a hard time about it taking this long."

Jim grinned. "Well, actually..."

Pam laughed in spite of herself. "I hope you made it clear it wasn't your fault."

Jim reached over and took her hand. "I didn't make it anyone's fault. I told him there was beauty in being patient."

"Well, you'd certainly know."

He squeezed her hand before put his back on the steering wheel. "I'd wait as long as you needed me to, Pam. That includes this weekend."

"You're nuts. Nobody's that patient."

"Well, I'd be pressing you for more blow jobs, granted..."

Pam giggled. "Really now? I got the impression you didn't care much for those."

Jim felt his face flush. "Oh, you do okay."

"Just okay, hmm?" she teased. "Do you have any suggestions for improvement then?"

"I'm a little fuzzy on details right now. Ask me next time the situation arises."

Pam rummaged through the glove compartment, pulling out a map. She studied it for a moment in silence. "There's a rest area in about 25 miles," she mused. "The situation could, ah, you know, barise/b there and then you could instruct me if you'd like."

Jim felt his flush spread throughout his body. He had no idea if she was being serious or joking, and wasn't quite sure how to respond to her comments. "Maybe next time, Beesly," he finally replied.

"Chicken," Pam teased.

"Maybe I'm just saving up for Stamford."

"Uh huh. Sure."

They rode in silence for a while, save for the sound of the radio. When Jim passed the rest area Pam had mentioned, he heard her giggle.

"Save it, Beesly," he said.

"Apparently," she replied, smiling.

He laughed. "You expect me to believe that you would have had oral sex in the parking lot of a rest area, when you were embarrassed to have the pizza guy find you kissing me?"

"Hey, if we're caught it's not like I'm going to see those people from the rest area again."

"But you run into the pizza guy everyday?"

"Maybe not every day. But that is the best place to get pizza in Scranton."

Jim sighed dramatically. "Do you want me to turn around?"

"No, no," she replied, matching his ridiculous tone. "Too late. I've completely lost interest."

"You're insane." He grinned, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.

"Me? You're the one who drove past a free blow job. I beg to differ as to which one of us is insane."

Jim grunted. "Somehow I doubt it's 'free', Beesly. Don't tell me you aren't keeping score."

"Ooooh," Pam mused. "I hadn't thought of that before." She grinned as she silently counted on her fingers. "So let's see - that means you owe me four."

"Four?" Jim asked incredulously. "How do you get four?"

"Three on Sunday and one last night."

"Three? There was two."

"There were three, Halpert."

"There was the first time on your bed, and then out in the living room during the movie after dinner."

"And the third one in the middle of the night."

"Wait a minute," Jim protested. "I did that one on my own."

Pam gave him an arch look. "Oh, and my watching didn't add anything at all to the experience?"

Jim glanced over, brow furrowed. "Hmmph," he snorted. "Fine, call it four."

Pam squealed delightedly. "Told you. And I'll take all four this evening, please."

"Holy hell, Beesly, what do you have in mind?"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll come up with something," she grinned.

"Thanks." Jim said. "No pressure there."

Pam laughed and rested her head against the window. They had more than half the trip behind them, and suddenly she realized she was feeling a little anxious about what lay ahead.

"Can I ask you something?" she began tentatively.

"Sure."

"How many women have you been with?"

"Okay," Jim said slowly, "Do I want to know where this is going?"

"I just wondered. You pretty much know my history."

"Well, I know who with but that doesn't really tell me much. It could have been nine years of the same old, same old or nine years of the Kama Sutra. And nine years with one person is completely different than the same amount of time spent in and out of relationships."

"Nice try," pam said, "but you didn't answer my question."

"I'm just saying I don't anything about your history either, except for a number."

"Fine. You can ask about mine next."

"Alright," Jim nodded. "I'm not sure this is the right arena for this discussion, but since you asked I'll tell you. Eleven."

"Eleven?!" Pam couldn't even begin to hide her shock. "You've had sex with eleven different women? Wow. I feel pretty unsophisticated right now."

"Don't." Jim replied seriously. "Because if I could go back, I can say with certainty that I would have turned down more than half of those." 

"Why?"

"Let's just say I got a bit crazy when I first started college. I was fairly popular and the college girls I met didn't have a problem with sex on the first date. I had quite a few first dates my freshmen year. Not many second dates, though," he added ruefully.

"So how many serious girlfriends have you had?"

"Really serious? Just the one I'm looking at," he replied. "Ones that seemed heavy at the time? Three, I guess. One in high school, who was my first by the way, one in college my second year, and one right after I started at Dunder Mifflin. But that was over well before you came to work there."

"So eight one-night stands?" Pam still felt a little stunned.

"Is that so unusual?" 

"I don't know what the average is," she replied a bit tersely. "But it sounds like a lot to me."

Jim shrugged, a bit unhappy with the direction this conversation was taking. "Hey, you asked. Should I not have told you?"

Pam shook her head. "No, you're right. I did ask. I guess I just wasn't really expecting a response like that." 

Pam went back to looking out the window, and the only voice heard was from the radio. Snow Patrol's iChasing Cars/i played in its entirety before she spoke again, a tinge of wistfullness in her voice. "I can't help but worry I won't measure up. I mean, I've only one person to compare you to, and you make me so much happier it's ridiculous. And we haven't even had sex yet."

"Why do you feel the need to compare yourself to other women?" Jim asked, sounding irritated. "It's not a contest, Pam. It's just my past, and it's over. Besides," he continued, his tone turning warmer, "our time together has already been mind blowing to me. Even if I was the type to compare, you're already the best I've ever had. Which is saying a lot given that I still haven't seen you entirely naked yet."

"Well I suspect you are being generous. You should withhold judgement until you've seen the proof. I assure you I'm hardly that impressive."

"I'm sure most of my past experiences would say the same thing about me," he smirked. "That's why I strongly encourage you not to compare. I know I won't be."

"Isn't it impossible not to, though?"

"Maybe if I was just in this for the sex," he replied. "But clearly there's more to us than that."

"Hmmm. I guess so."

Jim smiled, "What are you saying? That you're just in this for the sex? Because if that's the case you're probably going to be deeply disappointed to have driven two hours for nothing to write home about."

Pam grinned. "After a two hour car ride I'm expecting great things of you, Halpert."

"Then start preparing for disappointment, Beesly."

"Why? You underestimate your abilities, I bet." she teased.

"Why?" he repeated. "Because I'm scared shitless things aren't going to go well tonight"  
He felt his hands shake a little at his confession, not sure if he was embarrassed or relieved that he'd let that little fact slip.

"Why wouldn't they?" she asked, completely taken aback by the intensity of his words.

"Because it feels like this is some sort of litmus test. We've waited and waited and today's iThe Big Day/i. What if it turns out that it wasn't worth the wait? What if you end up thinking 'That's what I was holding out for?'"

"I don't know what to say." Pam thought a moment. "I'm quite sure things aren't going to unfold anything like that. I mean, I'm nervous too, if you want to know the truth. But I don't expect anything more than the chance to finally break down all of the last walls between us. I was holding off because I wanted to really experience integrating our lives as delightfully slowly as possible. I've never meant it to be any sort of test for you."

Jim nodded. "I know you didn't. But it's stressing me out a little all the same."

"We don't have to do anything," Pam offered. "We could just focus on being together."

Jim gave her a little smile. "I know that. I don't expect it will go that route somehow, though."

Jim felt that there was something strangely liberating having such a conversation while stuck in the car like this. Being there together guaranteed no eavesdroppers, no one barging in at delicate moment. There was also the fact that he found his courage in not having to look right at her as he spoke, yet knew he had her full attention.

"While we are on awkward subjects," Jim continued, "What did you actually say to Roy when you broke it off?"

"You mean, did I mention you at all?"

He couldn't tell if she was teasing, and felt his cheeks burning a bit. "No," he replied quickly. "Well, not really. I didn't expect that you had. I just wondered what excuse you gave him."

Pam shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure I remember, to be honest. It started out as trying to tell him how I was feeling, how anxious I was about the wedding. He'd had his bachelor party the weekend before, and it seemed like once he started drinking that night he just hadn't stopped. He was spending more time with his friends than with me."

Jim put his hand on her hands, which were folded in her lap. He could hear the hurt in her voice even now. It angered him that Roy had treated her callously, even if it meant it was part of the reason she'd finally left him. She knotted her fingers through his. "He blew it off as cold feet. He said I was just overreacting. His attitude, combined with the fact that I had been doubting our decision to get married for a while by that point, caused me to just blow up at him. We had a long, terrible fight that ended with him storming out. At that point I called my mom and told her it was over. I found out later than he'd returned to the house, but by that point I had packed a bag and left him a note telling him I had checked into a motel."

"Did he show up at the motel?" 

"No, he didn't," she sighed. "And it wouldn't have been that hard to find me." She thought back to that night. "And that's when I knew I was making the right choice in not marrying him." She took her free hand and placed it over their joined hands. She gently stroked the back of his hand with her thumb as she gazed out the side window.

"I would have followed you to the motel." Jim said after a moment's silence.

Pam nodded. "I know you would have. I thought the same thing the night I was there. I so very nearly called you, you know."

"Really?" Jim felt a little thrill at the news.

"I wanted to talk to you so badly that night, but I was too damn scared to do anything. I wasn't sure if you'd left for your trip yet, and I was afraid I would have run into Mark while looking for you. I figured he'd have known what happened between us, and assumed he was probably pissed at me too."

Jim said nothing, but squeezed her hand supportively.

"I've often wondered what might have happened had I called," she sighed.

"It seems to me that our biggest problems have always stemmed from just not talking to each other honestly," Jim said. "You can't begin to imagine how much I would have appreciated you calling the night you left Roy."

"I know they are," she agreed. "Still, at that point maybe it was for the best. I would have been looking to be with my best friend, not the man who was complicating my life by telling me he loved me." She looked at him in such a way that told him 'complicating her life' really wasn't a bad thing.

"Maybe you're right. I can't honestly say I would have been able to separate the two, which might have just estranged us further."

Pam nodded, and Jim continued. "I'm sorry, Pam. I wish we could have been honest with each other ages ago. I should have told you how I felt well before Roy set the wedding date on the booze cruise. I would give anything to go back and do it right."

"Doesn't matter," she said holding his hand tightly. "At least we survived it all, right?"

"Yeah, we survived it, Beesly." he squeezed her hand back affectionately. "Didn't seem like we would at times, but I guess that's behind us now."

"I don't want to keep things like that from you anymore, Jim. Promise me you'll always ask if there's something you want to know."

"Even if it's embarrassing and revealing?" He grinned mischieviously at her.

She laughed. "Only if I can do the same!"

"Great," he chuckled, "It sounds like we have a 'blush-off in the works..."

Pam giggled. "Now that sounds like fun. I suspect it's a game best played naked, though."

"I suspect any game we play will be best played naked."

"Even Sudoku?"

He nodded smugly. "Especially Sudoku."

Pam tried to control another bout of giggles as Jim pulled off the highway and into a gas station. He got out of the car to fill the tank as Pam headed for the shop to get something to eat. Her stomach was starting to complain over her decision to skip breakfast.

"Want anything to eat?" she asked Jim.

"Surprise me," he smiled.

In the end her choices were satisfactory but predictable given the selection. A large bag of Sun Chips and two bottles of iced tea, one raspberry and one peach.

Back on the road, Jim looked to see what she'd purchased. "I see you've chosen the standards," he grinned, reaching for the peach tea.

"Not exactly," she said. "Look - they have a new flavor of Sun Chips. Garden Salsa."

"Wow, we really are living on the edge, aren't we Beesly?"

"We certainly are. I plan on trying all sorts of new things over this weekend." The look on his face made her smirk. "Yes, Jim Halpert, be very afraid."

"You already know I have ruled out my brother as a participant in any of your sick fantasies. Maybe now's an appropriate time to spell out the rest of my constraints."

"Well just so you know, my safe word is 'swizzle stick.'"

Jim laughed. "Isn't that two words?"

"Fine. It's my safe phrase then. What's yours?"

"I don't have one," he said, giving her an incredulous look, "and I'm not sure I really want to think about why you seem to have one. Maybe I should be asking more questions about your sexual history."

"Dork." She giggled. "I think we should make yours 'Big Tuna'."

"God help me." Jim rolled his eyes. "So tell me, Beesly, what's this safe word thing, anyway?" The innocent look he gave her almost fooled her into thinking he was serious.

"Well, B.T.," she grinned, "it just a way to let your partner know how comfortable you are in any given sexual situation."

"Comfortable? So you'd put it in a conversation if you wanted it go on then?"

"Heh. More like the opposite. Dork."

"So what word do you use if you want more?"

"'Please?'" Pam replied.

Jim laughed loudly. "Okay, that works. But please do not call me Big Tuna. I will be completely ruined for sex if you say that."

"Well then make up one of your own."

He shook his head. 'Forget it. Do you really think we'll be in a situation where you just couldn't say 'no' if you weren't comfortable?"

Pam frowned. "I guess not. God, we're boring."

Jim just shook his head. "I'm really going to get an education in Pam Beesly, aren't I?"

"You betcha. There's a lot you still need to learn."

"I"ll look forward to it," he replied, winking at her. "But don't worry, I'll be a good student."

"You better be. There will be pop quizzes."

"Really? And mid-terms?"

"And finals." She offered Jim more Sun Chips. "Very hard examinations." She emphasised each word slowly, "You'll need to go over the coursework many, many times to pass. You might even need extra tutorials."

"Wow, that's starting to sound pretty daunting."

"For most people it is." She ate another Sun Chip. "But I've seen your potential."

Jim nearly choked on a Sun Chip. "My potential? Is that what they're calling it these days?"

Pam turned her head away, trying very hard not to break. "Oh yes. And I've been very pleased with your potential." Her laughter finally spilled out, causing Jim to join in.

"No wonder Angela gives you those looks," Jim teased.

"What?" Pam asked innocently.

Jim continued to grin. "What am I getting myself into?" he wondered aloud as they crossed the Connecticut border.

"I guess we'll soon find out," Pam replied softly.

With their arrival into Connecticut, the easy joviality they had been enjoying seemed to slip away. Conversation seemed to cease, except for requests for drinks or chips. Pam watched the changing scenery, and found herself biting her nails. She hadn't reverted back to that habit in years. Jim tried to keep his eyes focused on the traffic, but couldn't resist frequent glances toward Pam, trying to read her mood. He found himself gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were turning white. iWhat the hell is wrong with me?/i He wondered. iJust breathe, Halpert./i

Jim turned off the highway at the second exit into Stamford. "Nearly there," he said to break the silence. Pam looked over at him and gave him a tight smile.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Just a little tired. It's been a long drive."

Jim wound the car through the streets of the urban neighborhood. Pam thought it was a pleasant mix of older commercial buildings and new apartments and condominiums. She seemed surprised when he pulled into the parking lot of a large, elegant brick complex.

"Wow, you live here?"

Jim nodded, "It's a little strange, but I didn't have a whole lot of time to apartment shop. The location's pretty sweet, even if the cost threw me when I first moved here. I'm afraid I was still expecting Scranton prices."

He pulled into an open parking space near one of the entrance doors. "It looks like a hotel," she said.

"Just wait until you get inside. You'll really think I've moved into the Radisson."

Jim grabbed their luggage as Pam got out of the car. She was walking toward the door of the lobby when he called her name. She turned around, waiting for him to catch up. "Hmm?" she said, seeming a bit distracted. She put her hands in the front pockets of her jeans, balling them into fists.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again.

She looked up at him, and saw the concern shining in his eyes. She smiled slightly. "Yeah."

"Pam?"

"Hmm?"

"I thought we were going to keep things honest between us," he said softly. "You've been pretty quiet for a while now."

She looked down at the ground, the smile still tugging at her lips. "I think I'm just a little nervous," she said shyly, finally looking back up at him.

Jim smiled, letting out a big sigh. "Thank god for that, Beesly. So am I."

Pam pulled her hands out of her pockets and put her arms around his waist. Jim dropped their bags and enclosed her in his arms, pulling her close. "I'm so glad you're here," he said into her hair. She looked up, and met his lips in a soft kiss. Pam slid her arms up his chest and around his neck, deepening her kiss. They might have stayed like that for a while longer, had not a car pulled up and parked near them. Silently Pam picked up her bag with one hand and took Jim's hand with the other.

The apartment complex lobby was amazing. It really did look like they had walked into an upscale hotel. There was a help desk manned twenty-four hours a day, an open lounge area with a bar and televisions. There were signs marking the way to the pool and the exercise center, and even rolling carts available to tote larger items up to the apartments. Security issues were not overlooked either, and Pam watched Jim swip a small tag on his keyring to gain access to the elevators. 

Pam and Jim were the only two in the elevator, so when the doors closed, Jim leaned down and stole another kiss. Pam held his hand tightly, feeling a little dizzy that she was moments awy from finally seeing Jim's new apartment. How many times had she envisioned various reasons for turning up on his doorstep? She felt a shiver of anticipation.

Too soon the ding announced they'd arrived on his floor. Making a left down the hall, they walked to nearly the end. Jim stopped and pulled his key out. "Well, get ready," he said. "Here we are."

"Get ready for what?" she asked.

Jim shrugged. "Whatever. Anything. Everything."

She grinned. "Okay," she said slowly.

He unlocked the door and took her bag from her. "Stay right there," he commanded, shutting the door behind him. He returned almost immediately, the bags now free from his hands. He pushed the front door into a locked holding position and walked back into the hallway. Without warning he put one arm behind Pam's back and the other behind her knees, sweeping her up in his arms.

"Jim!" she shouted in surprise, "What are you doing?"

He walked through the doorway and kicked the door closed behind him. "Just felt like that was something that needed doing," he grinned, kissing her. "Welcome to my place." 

"Is this how you greet all your guests?" she asked, clearly not minding the fact he was still holding her.

"Oh sure. Andy really loved it."

"You do know that it's more of a wedding tradition, not an everyday practice."

"Wow. I guess that explains why most people turn down the second invitation to visit."

Pam laughed. "Are you going to put me down now?"

Jim gazed at her, and she saw something in his demeanor change before her eyes. The humor she saw in his face changed to something darker, something hungry. She felt his arms draw tighter against her, and this change made her feel a bit breathless. He kissed her again, this time his mouth demanding against hers. She felt herself tremble, but opened her lips to accept everything he offered. When he finally lifted his lips from hers his look made it clear what he was asking. She nodded, her eyes never leaving his. "Please," she said. her voice barely audible.

He carried her wordlessly to his bedroom, carefully laying her down near the center of his bed. Jackets and shoes were quickly and unceremoniously dumped onto the floor, and then Jim crawled over to where she was lying. He positioned himself over her, keeping most of his weight on his propped forearms, their legs intermingled. He brushed her hair out over the pillows with his fingers, and leaned in to nuzzle her ear and hairline.

"You are so beautiful," he said reverently. He dipped his head down to kiss the soft skin under her ear.

Pam tried to stifle a giggle, to no avail. "Sorry," she apologized. "That tickles."

Jim looked up at her, a touch of amusement on his face. "I'm trying to set a mood here, Beesly."

"I know," she said, trying to look serious. "And you are doing a wonderful job." She failed miserably in her attempt as another laugh escaped her.

Jim made a decidedly frustrated sound and rested his head on her shoulder. Pam ran her hands up the sides of his torso, bringing them up on to back, and then to his shoulders. "Hey," she said, brushing her cheek against hair. "You aren't giving up that easily are you?"

He looked up at her, unable to hide his affection. "There are times when laughter is not the most appropriate response, Beesly."

She could feel his breath on her face, and suddenly she didn't feel like laughing anymore. She felt the weight of his legs against hers, and shifted under him so that hers were outermost, and hips were flush against his, enjoying the heaviness pressing down on her. She slid her hips against his again, and thought she felt a stirring from him.

She looked up into his eyes, and watched for a response.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice sounded even deeper to her.

"Trying to help the mood," she replied. She moved her hands from his back to his chest, and wasted no time in unbuttoning his shirt. When she was done Jim sat up and pulled the shirt off, throwing in on the floor. He returned to his position on top of her, dipping down to kiss her. "Now you're on the right track," he murmured against her lips. 

While he kissed her he moved his right hand down to her waist, pushing her sweatshirt up until he found her satin-covered breast. He rubbed her nipple with this thumb, feeling it harden immediately under his touch. Pam moaned a little and arched her hips into him. Jim switched hands briefly to push up her sweatshirt on the left side, teasing her nipple into erection with just a single touch. He smiled when he realised her bra was front-closing. He sat back, and with Pam's eagar assistance, pulled the blue sweatshirt over her head and onto the floor. She laid back down and closed her eyes when she felt his hands cup both breasts. She felt his fingers unhooking the front of her bra, and felt a brief chill when she felt him pull the material away. His hands felt hot on her bare skin, but nothing compared to the searing she felt when his lips found one of her nipples. She whimpered as he first kissed, then sucked, then licked, then bit her gently. He continued this erotic cycle, finally trailing a line of kisses over to her other breast. She felt lightheaded with desire from his attentions. The breast his mouth was not on was being caressed with his hand, which made Pam increasingly desperate for his touch elsewhere on her body. 

Her squirming with pleasure against him, the feeling of her soft full breasts under his mouth, the very fact he was finally, ifinally/i, making love to the woman of his dreams - all of these conditions made Jim realize very quickly one thing: if he didn't bring the intensity down immediately, he wasn't going to be lasting very much longer. Already his erection ached, sensations increasing each time he felt her push her hips against him. If he wasn't careful it was going to be a replay of the teenage years all over again, climaxing before he could even get his pants undone. It definitely wasn't the way he envisioned his first time with Pam, and the sudden anxiety was enough to pull him back from the edge. 

He moved from her breasts down to her belly, kissing the wonderfully soft silken skin. Pam brought her hands down to run her fingers through his hair, sighing with delight over the feeling of his mouth and tongue on her in ways she'd only dreamed about. His hands busied themselves with unfastening her jeans, drawing the zipper down and tugging them off. Pam lifted her hips up and as he removed her jeans her hands came down to help remove her panties as well. Any semblence of shyness in him seeing her naked had long past, and her only wish was to feel all of her pressed against all of him. She reached for the button to his pants and within moments they both lie there naked and full of desire for each other. 

Jim stroked her rounded stomach, moving to place kisses where his fingers had been. His hand moved lower as he kissed her, and soon discovered her wet with desire. She parted her legs and pressed against his hand, rocking her hips to feel his fingers move against her. She moaned, the sound of which made Jim's erection flush harder. She soon reached down and took his hand, moving it back up her body. He looked at her to see if something was wrong. "Please," she said softly, her eyes pleading.

He lay down again on top of her, this time pushing his knee high between her thighs as if staking his claim. "Please what?" he asked hoarsely, kissing her passionately. She spread her legs apart more, her hands pressing against the backs his thighs, pushing him down against her. It was clear what she was asking for, but Jim wanted to hear her say it. Given how long he had waited for this moment, he needed to hear her say it.

"Please, Jim," she panted against his lips.

"Tell me what you want, Pam," he said, his tone both domineering and coaxing.

"I want you," she said between kisses, feeling herself blush in spite of it all. "I want you inside me."

Jim said no more, partly because he knew he was very close to losing control, and he still needed to hold on a little while longer. He would store away this memory for a later time, when he could fully appreciate the rush of emotions he felt at hearing her confession. He gently reached down and Pam felt the pressure of his erection starting to enter her. Their eyes met and Pam gave a slight nod. He fought his instincts and made his first thrusts slow and gentle, revelling in the exquisite sensations. He thought he could cry over how perfect she felt. He'd never had a fantasy that could have matched this reality.

From Pam's perspective, the only thing she could think of was how suprised she was that she could take all of him in. Even though she had seen him aroused before tonight, had touched and tasted him, she still didn't appreciate his size until now. His first thrusts had been slightly uncomfortable, but he'd been so gentle that it felt good to her. She enjoyed the idea that despite his sweet nature there was still a very masculine side to him. A side only she was getting to see and feel.

Pam rocked her hips against him, an unspoken request for him to move beyond the slow motion beginning. Jim increased his rhythm, thrusting deeper but attempting to hold it inside for a moment before pulling back for more. The brief moments of stillness were somewhat effective in preventing him from coming too soon, but it wasn't a solution that would last forever.

He stilled his movements again, much to an audible sound of dismay from Pam. Jim leaned his head close to hers. "I'm afraid I can't take too much more of this this time around," he said, slightly embarrassed. "You just feel too damn good."

Pam reached up to caress his cheek, slightly rough from stubble. "Then just make the most of what we've got," she said haltingly. "We can go for distance next time." They kissed, a long, deep, mouth-searching kiss that expressed both his apologies and her acceptance.  
Withdrawing from that, Jim relaxed and and just focused on burying himself into her as hard and deep as he could. The sound of her satisfied cries was the final straw in the ecstasy overload he was dealing with. In less than a minute he felt the hot release of orgasm shoot through him, turning his bones into liquid. 

He put his head down on her chest and felt her wrapping her arms around him. They lay in silence for a while, Jim unwilling to end the moment. Finally he pulled out of her, and moved to lay down, lying on his side to face her. Face flushed, he looked carefully for her reaction. She looked at him, eyes still heavy with desire. He felt her arm moving, and it took a moment for him to realise what she was doing. He brought his hand down near hers, and started to stroke the sensitive skin next to her clitoris. Pam held her own hand still as she felt Jim's attempts, but soon put her hand over his to stop him. She looked over at him. "Let me do this," she whispered.

Jim pulled his hand back, embarrassed. "I'm sorry," he started to say, but she shushed him. "Not now," she said firmly, going back to pleasuring herself. With her other hand she moved his hand over her breast. "There are other ways you can help," she said huskily.

Jim eagerly followed her lead, returning his attentions to her breasts. She moaned her pleasure while he could feel her arm moving rhythmically under him. He experimented with his tongue and teeth until he heard her gasp. Keeping her nipple trapped between this teeth, he flicked his tongue against it repeatedly. "Yes," he heard her say, her voice low but tone urgent. He felt her arm moving faster, and couldn't resist running his hand down her body, passing her hand and sliding deep between her legs to stroke her ass. He started to feel himself stiffen again, just watching and listening to her own pleasure. His hand placed so coveteously against her bottom was enough to push Pam over the edge. She was trembling from the pleasure of feeling Jim touching her, seemingly everywhere, and she cried out as she gave into her climax. Jim pulled her closer to him, listening to her ragged breaths slowly returning to normal.

It seemed like an eternity to Jim before Pam opened her eyes and looked at him. She gave him a shy smile. "Hey," she said, not even sure if she remembered how to speak.

Her familiar greeting filled Jim with a rush of pure love. "Hey," he replied, returning her smile. "Everything good?"

Her hand reached over to stoke his face. "Yeah, everything's good." She shifted position, then made a face that seemed at odds with her statement. "Actually, I'm starting to feel a little cold," she admitted.

"Easily fixed," he assured her, helping her sit up so he could pull the bed sheets down. They both crawled underneath the blankets, finding each other again and entwining themselves as if they couldn't bear to have an iota of space between them. Jim stretched out onto his back, Pam molded herself to his side, her head sharing his pillow and her arm stretched possessively across his chest. Her eyelids growing heavy, she kissed his cheek as she felt herself beginning the drift off to sleep. "God you're wonderful, Halpert," she sighed. "I don't know what you were worried about."

Jim held her close, letting himself relax into sleep as well. "Well, I guess it could have been worse," he admitted. "I promise you though, it was no where near my best performance."

She rapped him gently with the hand that had moments ago been lazily caressing his chest. "Don't you dare apologize for anything. I wanted you, not fantastic sex."

"Wow," Jim said, "Thanks. Good to get that straightened out."

She chuckled when she realized how that sounded. "You know what I mean." She yawned, and moved a leg possessively over his. "I love you, Jim," she continued. "and now you truly, finally belong to me."

"I always did, Beesly." He turned his face towards hers and tenderly kissed her forehead. "I always did." 


	16. Chapter 23

Jim stirred first, initially confused about where he was. He opened his eyes and found Pam's face mere inches from his, her breathing deep and even, falling warmly against his cheek and lips. He had turned toward her at some point in their nap, and now their body positions mirrored each other, arms around waists, legs entwined. He took in the vision before him. Her hair had come free from her hair clip some time shortly after they arrived in his apartment, and now fell loosely around her neck and shoulders. He reached out and touched it, drawing his fingers through it. He didn't remember her hair being this long before he left. He couldn't resist bringing her curls to his lips. He could smell her shampoo, something slightly fruity. Or maybe it was floral. Jim never could tell the subtle differences between scents. He just knew it was a fragrance that would remind him of her, and therefore it was the best thing he had ever smelled.

He let her hair fall away, and rested his hand on her bare shoulder. He didn't want to wake her, but he couldn't resist touching her. Her skin was so soft, so smooth. He wasn't sure he'd ever really get used to being able to be so close to her. She was everything he'd ever dreamed of, and yet it was a million times better. Lifting the blanket slightly to get a better look at her while she slept, he felt a rush of passion. Not just desire, although he was already getting erect again, but an overwhelming love and sense of protection towards her. Lost in her own dreams Pam seemed so completely vulnerable, and Jim knew there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to keep her safe from pain and harm.

His hand moved down from her shoulder, along her back, dipping down to her waist, then continuing on to the delicious curve of her hip, finally resting his hand against the roundness of her derriere. She felt so warm, so inviting, that he eased even closer, gently kissing her lips. Tender repeated kisses cause Pam to stir slightly, so Jim kissed her a little more deeply. He kept his lips pressed up against hers, breaking contact for a just a moment, then kissing her again. Pam made a noise and rolled onto her back. Jim felt her hands moving across his back around his waist, and at the same time she had started to responde to his kisses. When he felt her moisten his lips with her tongue, his passion flared and he moved his body on top of hers, his right leg finding its way between hers. He felt her move her right leg out and around his left, so that she had wrapped her legs around his, their bellies and hips in alignment.

Jim pulled his head up from their kisses and saw she had opened her eyes. "Fancy meeting you here," he said, smiling down at her.

"Yeah, I really need to start paying more attention to where I end up," she grinned.

"Feel better for your nap?"

"I was feeling pretty good before the nap, but yeah," she started to yawn, stretching out beneath him. "I slept really well. Woke up pretty nicely, too."

"Well, it's all part of the service," he smiled, leaning in to kiss her again. He pressed his hips against her, making her completely aware of all the services he was willing to offer.

"You better be careful you don't hurt someone with that thing," she teased. She shifted away from him slightly. "Actually, I need to get up for a moment."

"Spoilsport," Jim complained, letting her get out of bed. She disappeared into the bathroom, and Jim rolled onto his back, waiting for her return.

He'd been lying there for a while when he heard the sound of water running. Pam opened the bathroom door, and poked her head out. "Where are your towels?" she asked.

Jim sat up. "What are you doing?"

"Taking a shower," she replied, acting as if she was talking to a three-year-old.

"Without me?"

Pam grinned, looking a bit shy. "Well, grab some towels and come find me," she said, shutting the door again.

Jim practically lept of the bed and stepped out into the hallway. He grabbed a few large, fluffy, bath towels from the linen closet at the end of the hallway, and strode back to the bathroom. He tapped on the door, opening it slowly. "I hope you're not decent in here," he joked.

"Close the door, you're letting the cold air in," Pam called from behind the shower curtain.

Jim smiled and complied. "Not using up all the hot water, I hope," he teased.

She pulled the shower curtain back a bit. Her hair was already curling from the humidity in the small room. "I guess that's the chance you're going to have to take, Halpert," she taunted, pulling the curtain closed again. He dropped the towels on the floor and pulled open the curtain from the side farthest from the shower head. He stepped in, standing behind her and tensing as he become accustomed to the feeling of the warm water against his skin. But the time he was feeling more comfortable, she had turned around towards him.

"Hey there," she said, putting her hands on his chest and raising her face up for a kiss.

"Hey," he replied, putting his arms around her waist and giving her the kiss she so clearly was requesting.

He tilted her head back slightly, and could feel the warm water hitting her back and his hands. She took a step back and he followed, the water now washing her hair back. With her head back like that, the water straightened her hair so it touched his hands. "I didn't realize your hair was so long," he marvelled, reaching up to put his hands into it.

She twisted around slightly and grabbed some shampoo. "If you're going to do that, you might as well wash it for me," she smiled.

"Sure," he smiled back, taking the bottle from her. "Turn around then."

She obeyed and faced the shower head. She leaned back slightly and made sure the water had completely soaked her hair, pulling her fingers through it to comb it back from her face. She kept her eyes closed to better enjoy the experience. She couldn't remember the last time someone else had washed her hair. She heard the soft click of the bottle opening, and could already notice the slight fragrance of coconut filling the shower. So that's what he's been using, she thought to herself. She liked the idea of using Jim's shampoo. Of course she liked the idea of using his shower, too. And sleeping in his bed. And staying in his apartment for a few days. The shampoo was just one of the million little things she filled her mind with. She wanted every moment of this weekend burned into her memory.

The shampoo felt cold on her scalp as his hands rubbed it into her hair. Jim carefully made sure he placed it on the top of her head and used his fingers to move to her hairline. He took the job of keeping the soap out her eyes very seriously, and once a lather had begun in the front, poured a little more shampoo into his hand to work through the back of hair. The white suds began forming, and he took the time to massage her scalp with his fingers.

"Mmmm," Pam couldn't resist moaning, "I really think you have missed your calling," she purred. "That feels wonderful."

He worked his way through the back of her hair again, until he was able to use the foam to pile her hair into a bun on the top of her head. Rinsing his hands under the water, he also rinsed the extra bubbles off her shoulders, and replaced them with kisses.

"Are we leaving my hair like this?" she asked, leaning into his kisses as he worked his way across her shoulders.

"For a moment," He replied. "That stuff has built-in conditioner, or didn't you notice?"

"No, I hadn't noticed,"

"Sheesh, Beesly, who taught you your girl skills? Because they seriously suck."

Pam laughed. "I guess I'll just have to rely on you to bring me up to speed."

"It's starting to look like there's a lot of maintenance involved with you," he sighed. "Now close your eyes while I rinse this stuff out."

She grinned happily and did as he suggested. The conditioner had made her hair so soft Jim had no problem running his fingers through it until he was sure all the soap had been rinsed out. He then put one arm around her waist and pulled her close against him. He brought his head down to her shoulder and kissed her again. When his mouth reached the crook of her neck, his hand that was firmly around her waist began to wander upward. He continued to kiss her as he gently slid his hand across her wet skin, cupping each breast in turn and rubbing her nipples until she arched up against him, her eyes still closed. She could feel his erect penis against her back and bottom, and his touch made her want to push up against him harder. Her inability to keep still under his touch caused Pam to rub temptingly against him. Jim responded by grasping the tub's safety bar with his free hand to prevent them from falling.

Pam's right hand moved up to touch the side of his face, bringing it back down close to hers. She turned her head and upper body toward him, kissing him. "Isn't it you're turn?" she said against his lips.

He smiled slightly and tightened his free arm around her waist. "No, I'm fine here, thanks." he said.

He continued to kiss her, but had now moved his hand from her breasts and began caressing her stomach again, soft sweeping strokes that dipped lower and lower until Pam realized what he was doing. He could feel her tense up slightly. "It's okay," he soothed, until he felt her relax again.

When he reached the top of her thighs, he paused briefly. "Just tell me what to do." he said softly in her ear.

"Gently, just gently," she replied, her breathing already sounding heavy. He nodded and followed her instructions. He knew he was making progress when her left hand reached behind and grabbed on to his thigh. She pressed harder into his body, and her head relaxed back against his shoulder, allowing him not only the ability to continue to kiss her, but to watch the expression on her face. He wanted to get this right for her.

It was not long after she began to push against him that she found her voice again. "Faster. Please." she said hoarsely, and her rocking hips gave him a rhythm to match. He knew she was precariously close to the edge when she asked him to press harder, and shortly after that he felt her body go rigid against his, her chest heaving and the sounds of her cry in his head.

As soon has she began to relax, Jim released the safety bar, wrapping that arm around Pam to support her, and moved his right hand behind her, grasping his penis to find his own satisfaction. She could feel his movement behind her, and drew his arm tighter around herself, wanting to be next to him, feeling his hand move against her back as it brought him closer to release. Her hand tightened over his when she felt his warmth against her back that told her he had finished. He brought his right arm around and held on to her tightly, both silent but feeling completely in tune with each other.

Finally Pam turned to face him, a satisfied smile on her face. "Well I can say with certainty that this is the best shower I ever had." He laughed and pulled her back into a tight embrace. "Now can we get out of here before I completely shrivel up?" she asked.

He released her. "Yeah, just give me a minute." He stepped in front and let the water fall over his body as he quickly rinsed off. Pam just stood back and enjoyed the view. There was something about the male body that she never quite found that attractive, even from an artistic standpoint. But with Jim, she was starting to question that initial assessment. He always looked fantastic to her, and she was well aware he was far from perfect. He features weren't even completely symmetrical, one of the few agreed upon traits for beauty. But there certainly wasn't anyone she liked looking at more than him.

The water off, Jim opened the curtain and grabbed one of the towels. He wrapped it around Pam and helped her step out onto the bath mat. She leaned down and gave him a towel, and then reached for the last one to wrap around her dripping hair. He laughed as he noticed their after-shower techniques were worlds apart. He was happy to use the towel to quickly and efficiently dry off all parts, and then proceed to the bedroom naked but dry, while Pam felt too cold to part with her towel and instead huddled under the towel on the bed, using yet another towel to dry her arms and legs.

"Come on, Beesly, just take it off and get it over with," he teased. "It's like a bandage. Just rip it off and you won't be cold once you've finished drying yourself off." He moved towards her as if to demonstrate.

"Back off, Halpert!" she squealed, keeping the towel wrapped tightly around her. "I'm fine on my own," she laughed.

He flopped down on the bed besides her. "Well at least let me help you with this hair," he said, tugging the turban-wrapped towel off her head. "Did you bring a brush?" She pointed to her bag sitting on the floor in front of his dresser, and he reached down and set it between them while she fished out her wide-tooth comb and brush.

"Comb first, then brush," she instructed him as he moved the bag behind them on the bed. She put her back to him and sat obediently while he first towel dried her hair, and then placed the towel around her shoulders. Taking the comb he carefully worked out the potential tangles and combed it smooth. He then gathered up the ends of her hair in the towel for another dry-rubbing, finally finishing by pulling her hair back into a ponytail and securing with the hair clip she had been wearing when she came in, which had been located somewhere on the bedroom floor.

"Thank you," she said politely, rummaging through her luggage. She pulled out the work outfit of skirt and button down blouse she had worn on Tuesday. That was the night of the impossible date, and her mad dash down to Philadelphia. Had that really only been two days ago?

"What are you doing?" Jim asked.

"Getting dressed."

"Why?"

Pam shrugged, "It seems like the thing to do?"

Jim shook his head firmly. "Beesly, Beesly, Beesly. I thought I had made it fairly clear earlier. We have entered a clothing forbidden zone."

"Really? I think I missed that road marker." She continued to pull things out of her bag. "Besides, I really need to do some wash. I have absolutely no clean underwear. I was so not prepared for this trip."

Jim leaned over the bed and grabbed her arm. "You aren't listening. If you can't wear clothes here, then you certainly don't need underwear."

She looked at him lying back on the bed now, his hand completely encircling her wrist. "You're insane," she said, but pushed her bag on to the floor and stretched out to lay down next to him. "I'll let you win this round, but I'm going to get dressed at some point tonight."

He reached over, pulling her towel open and then pulling her on top of him. "Yeah, yeah," he smiled. "We'll see about that." 


	17. Chapter 24

Pam propped herself up on her pillow so she could better watch him sleep. She found it amusing that this was his second nap of the afternoon, but to be fair she had to admit he'd earned it. His refusal to let her get dressed after their shower had lead to all the usual antics being naked and in love can cause, starting with giggles and teasing and slowly leading to things more serious and sensual. She smiled when she thought of their afternoon, as he was much more adept at knowing what pleased her the second time around. She had to admit, this man was a very quick study. She watched his bare chest rise and fall with each breath he took. His lips were slightly parted, tempting her to come back. His hair was scrunched against his pillow at all angles, and she anticipated some pretty impressive bed head hair. But she couldn't think of one person she found more attractive than Jim Halpert at that moment. She wanted to cuddle, adore, protect, and fuck him, all at the same time. 

Listening to his erratic snore, she decided she had time to sneak out of bed and have a search for food. They'd only had that snack on the road, and that was hours ago. She was starving. She reached into her overnight bag looking for something to slip on, and she spied her red nightdress. She'd forgotten she'd packed it, and happily pulled it on over her naked body. She shut the bedroom door behind her and walked in the direction of the kitchen.

She was amused by what she found. Besides a handful of frozen dinners and half a six-pack of Amstel Light, there wasn't much to eat in the fridge. She found a few slices of bread left in the bag on the counter, so she decided to at least have some bread and butter. After peering into a few cabinets and drawers she found a knife and a plate. Reaching back into the fridge she grabbed the tub of margarine, and to her surprise, a half-wheel of brie. Delighted, she grabbed that as well, happy to find it was still fresh. She was cutting into the brie when she heard the bedroom door open. Jim walked slowly into the kitchen, still rubbing his eyes.

"How long did I sleep?" he asked, coming up behind her to wrap her in his embrace.

She glanced up at the clock on his microwave. "Not long - maybe 40 minutes."

He was rubbing his hands across the material on her stomach when he suddenly stopped. "Hey, what's this?" he asked, taking a step back. "You really do have a red nightdress!"

She turned around and leaned against the counter. "I told you I did, silly. What was there not to believe?" She gave him an appreciative glance. "At least I'm wearing something."

He pulled her closer. "I don't think that sounds much like a complaint, but I could be wrong."

She traced an imaginary pattern on his chest with her finger. "I didn't say I was complaining," she trailed off.

His hands stroked her back. "This is nice," he said rubbing the satin material between his fingers. "I suppose I could bend the No Clothes Rule for this."

She laughed. "You're going to have to bend it for a whole lot more than this, because I need to get to a grocery store." She turned back to show him what she had been doing. "Bread and butter and brie, Halpert? Honestly! You'd think you were a lonely old man living here."

He cuddled up behind her. "You are probably not far off," he said into her shoulder. "I work and I come home to eat and sleep."

She sliced a piece of a brie and handed it to him. "Well we need to change that," she said. "Let's go out and stock up, and then I promise I won't make us leave the apartment until Sunday."

"Mmm," he replied, eating the cheese. "Are you sure you just don't want to go out in this"  
He ran his hands around her waist again, moving them upwards until he cupped her breasts. "Yes, this is very nice," he murmured, kissing her neck. His fingers teased her nipples lightly, causing them to stiffen under his ministrations. She leaned back into him, closing her eyes. She felt his right hand snake down her side, and slip under her nightdress, moving back up to caress her breast again.

"What are you doing?" she asked, his hand feeling slightly cold against her bare skin.

"Shh," he said. "I'm doing research."

She couldn't help giggling. "Research? On what?"

"On tactile similarities and differences of satin versus nature."

She could feel the stubble of his cheek resting on her shoulder. She also felt proof of his arousal against her back. "And when do you think you'll be reaching a conclusion?" she smiled. She loved how he could manage to inject a tone of silliness into everything, no matter what they were doing.

"Oh, well this just the first of many trials." he said, purposefully brushing his hips against her. "I expect my research may take years before I form a final opinion."

She laughed, putting her hands over his and pushing them gently off her breasts. "Well how about we get back to this later then. I'm quite seriously starving." She put another slice of brie in her mouth, and picked up the bread and butter slice.

Jim sighed and stepped back. "See, that's the problem with society. Nobody takes science seriously anymore."

She grinned and headed back to the bedroom. She sat the bed, propping the pillow against her back and resting against the headboard. Jim followed her in, and stretched out on his back next to her. He put on arm behind his head, while his other reached over and stroked her side.

"You really have a fetish with this nightdress, don't you?" she said, teasingly. "Maybe you should wear it."

"I just like it," he mused. He grabbed her wrist as she finished eating, pulling her over and onto his chest. "And I'm pretty sure I don't have the figure to pull it off as well as you do."

"Oh, no," she laughed, pushing up onto her elbows. "You are not going to detract me again from getting dressed."

"Would I?" Jim looked offended. "Pam, I would never try to make you do anything you didn't want to do. I just wanted you to be aware of all your options." As he spoke he rolled over and grabbed her waist, bringing her up against him, making sure she was aware of what he was after.

"What are you, sixteen?" She grinned, "Next you'll be pressuring me by telling me that all the cool kids are doing it."

"Well, they are."

"We aren't going to be gone that long, Halpert. I think you'll survive." She leaned over and kissed his nose, then got off the bed.

Jim continued to lay on the bed, watching her sorting her clothes. She pulled out her striped work blouse and her tan skirt that she had worn on Tuesday. "Okay, we'll go out," he said sitting up, "but with one condition."

She looked up from her bag, bra in hand. "I can't wait to hear this," she replied.

"You can't wear any underwear."

She didn't even look phased. "That will be easy enough. I don't even have any clean underpants. In fact, if we could stop at one of those superstores I would appreciate it."

"Well, no pantyhose or bra, either."

"Oh yea, like that's going to happen," she rolled her eyes. "I don't go anywhere without a bra." She picked up her clothes and walked towards the bathroom. "Get dressed, Halpert," she smiled as she began to shut the door. "Any maybe later you'll get to see if I listened to you."

By the time they reached the store it was nearly seven o'clock. Jim could see that she wasn't wearing pantyhose, but every time he got near enough to try and feel for a pantyline against her skirt she swatted him away. They were giggling like truant teenagers when they entered the store, raising more than a few eyebrows as Jim grabbed a cart and started to chase Pam through the produce section.

"Time out!" Pam called, grabbing the end of the cart and bringing it to a stop.

"Time out?" Jim mocked. "What are we playing, tag?"

"No, but we need to show some decorum or they're going to kick us out."

"Well if you'd just answer my question I'd leave you alone."

"What question?"

Jim gave a pointed look toward her skirt.

"Shut. Up." Pam grinned. "I already said that if you were good, you'd get to find out later. Right now, just use your imagination. Now let's get some food." She turned and tried to walk away in a serious mood but her giggles gave her away. Jim rested his forearms against the handle and leaned against the cart, following Pam around the fresh fruit and vegetables, as she picked up grapes and bananas. They found some fresh strawberries, but Pam balked at the price.

"They're not in season in Connecticut in October," Jim pointed out.

She stood there making unhappy faces, trying to decide what to do. Finally she signed and put a pint in the basket. "I really wanted to have strawberries, so they better be worth the price," she grumbled.

"And why do you NEED strawberries?" Jim asked

"Oh, you'll see soon enough," she smiled.

"O-kay," Jim replied, already liking what her smiled implied. "Feel free to get two pints then."

They wandered throughout the different departments, filling their cart with a variety of sweet and savory treats. They agreed on buying several loaves of French bread to be baked at home. They chose a few different European cheeses, hummus, pesto and two different tapenades to use as toppings for the bread. They bought smoked salmon and cream cheese. Pam insisted on baby dill pickles.

"Beesly, what's up with that?" he demanded when she put it in the cart.

"Nothing, I just like pickles," she said.

"So there's nothing you need to tell me, right? No rocky road ice cream to wash that down with?"

"For heaven's sake," she sighed dramatically, "Like that would even be possible. Didn't your father ever sit you down and tell you how babies are made?"

He grinned. "Maybe. Just checking."

"Besides," she whispered, leaning into him, "Aren't you making sure that sort of thing can't happen?"

Jim smiled slowly faded. "Me? I just assumed you..."

"Gotcha," she laughed. "But you're lucky I never stopped taking it. You really should think about those things, Halpert."

"Should I have asked about your last STD test as well then?"

"I'm good, thanks. Should I ask about yours?"

Jim looked away, slightly embarrassed. "Is this really the place for this type of conversation?"

"Why? Is there something I should know?"

"No, of course not," he said quickly.

"Well, you did start it," she said.

Jim shook his head to indicate surrender and started pushing the buggy forward. Leave it to her to carry on such a conversation in the middle of a grocery store. At least the frozen food guy who could not have missed what was just said knew they were childless and free of disease, Jim thought.

Jim picked out several bottles of wine, and Pam found some whipped cream that made Jim laugh when she put it in the grocery cart.

"How very original," he teased her.

"What?" she grinned. "I'm happy to just eat it out of the can if you don't want to play"  
"You probably would, too."

"Of course I would. And so would you, so don't pretend you are better than me in that respect."

Jim put his arm around her, and gave her kiss.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"Just for being you," Jim laughed.

A little later Pam was putting a roll of refrigerated cookie dough in their cart when Jim protested. "No way, Beesly. We are absolutely not buying that."

"But what if we want cookies?" Pam protested.

"Then we'll make cookies the proper way."

"And do you know how to make cookies the 'proper way'?"

"Are you kidding? I'm the best baker in my family. You can ask anyone." And then to prove his claim he took her down the baking aisle where he stocked up on flour, sugar, chocolate chips, walnuts, and every spice he thought he needed. He picked up butter, eggs and milk in the dairy section, and ruled that they had finished shopping.

Fortunately for Pam this shop was one of those mega-groceries that also carried a wide selection of clothing and housewares. She convinced him to let her take a quick look at the clothes, and in doing so picked up a new 3-pack of underpants and a dark green sweatshirt that had "Stamford" blazoned across it in block letters.

"I can think of it as my souvenir," she grinned.

"Who needs souvenirs with all the memories we're making," he winked. "Besides, are people even suppose to know you're here?"

She shrugged. "Who cares? And it's not like I'll be wearing it to the office."

They checked out and headed for Pam's car. As they were pulling out of the parking lot, Pam said, "Speaking of offices, how far away is yours from here? I'd really like to see where you're working now."

"Not terribly far. We can go if you want. Nobody will be there, but I have the key. I sometimes go in on weekends to do paperwork."

The journey took about twenty minutes, but Jim had taken them the slow route so they could drive along as much of the coast as they could. He loved how excited Pam was to be near the ocean, and promised to take her out there in the daytime sometime this weekend. He could already imagine how much nicer weekends in Stamford were going to be for him, now that things were finally sorting themselves out in his world. When they arrived, the parking lot was empty, just like Jim had said it would be.

They parked and Jim used his key to get them in one of the side doors. A flight up the steps, and there they were: the entrance to Dunder Mifflin Stamford. When they stepped inside, Jim decided to keep the lights off. There was enough of a glow from the emergency overheads that he figured it would be nicer without the fluorescent glare. Pam walked behind the receptionist's desk and had a seat.

"Wow, this is MUCH nicer! So many little cubby spaces along the back here, and there are more drawers under the desk. Hey, and this phone system looks a lot more complicated."

Jim took his usual position on the opposite side of the counter and wondered for a moment what it would be like with Pam sitting there instead of Rebecca. Rebecca was nice enough, but she had grandchildren and sort of reminded him of how Angela might turn out at 65. She never put out jelly beans, either. He couldn't help but smile at the vision of having Pam back in the same office with him.

"What?" she asked, breaking into his little daydream.

"Nothing, why?"

"You're staring at me with a grin on your face. That usually means I'm in for it."

He shook his head. "I was just trying to picture the office if you worked here now."

"And?" She prompted.

"I could probably live with it," he said. _And you_, he thought. _For the rest of my life_.

"Where do you sit?" She asked, leaning over the counter.

Jim pointed down the aisle way. "The middle desk of those three over there. I told you I had an ocean view."

Pam stood up and hurried around the receptionist's desk. She flopped down into Jim's office chair and spun around in it as he stood back and watched her, tickled by her enthusiasm. She rolled over to the windows and pulled up the blinds. Since they hadn't turned the office lights on, she was able to view the harbor in the darkness. Jim walked over to her as she sat there peering out.

"Oh Jim," she breathed. "This is so beautiful. You were probably happy you left when you saw this view."

"It's not as beautiful as the view I had in Scranton," he said, solemnly looking out at the harbor with her.

Pam stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I didn't mean it like that," she said softly. "You know I wish every day that you'd never left."

"I know," he replied, pulling her close for a cuddle. "I've sat in that chair nearly every day for five months. And each time I looked out this window I wished it was you I was looking at."

"I'm sorry you felt you had to leave because of me," she said. "But I'm sure it's been better for your career down here."

He shrugged and rested his cheek on her head. "It's hard not to be - everyone is much more serious and professional. And I haven't had much of a social life since I moved down here."

"So who sits at these other desks?" Pam asked, trying to lighten the mood. Jim rolled the blind back down and turned around. "Andy sits in front of me, and Karen sits behind me."

She rolled Jim's chair back in front of his desk, and cleared away his keyboard so she could sit on the edge of his desk. "Andy's the one who didn't take to the jello joke, right?"

"Oh yes," Jim grinned. "That did not go well at all. He's also the guy who gave me the nickname."

"Oh right! Big Tuna! I had almost forgotten!" She laughed at the memory. "I love that. Wait until Michael hears about that one."

"Don't you dare," Jim threatened, sliding into his chair. "I will seriously make you pay if you do."

"Oh really?" She challenged, leaning forward towards him. "And what could you possibly have in your arsenal?"

Jim leaned forward also, putting his hands on her thighs. "You have to sleep sometimes, Beesly. And I will have a digital camera poised and waiting for when you do."

He looked so pleased with his threat that Pam shrieked with laughter. "Oh my God, Halpert. You are such a pervert!" She pushed his hands away as if to emphasis her point. "So who sits behind you?" She asked.

"Karen," he replied.

"Is she cute?" Pam felt the need to ask.

Jim shrugged. "She's okay, I guess."

"Good answer, Halpert," she grinned. "You haven't taken any notice, right?"

"Not really, no," he said, his expression sincere. "She barely talks to me and I have the impression she thinks I'm a bit weird."

"I have no idea how she would have gotten that idea, Big Tuna," Pam grinned.

Jim grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap. Her arms wrapped around his neck, they kissed. Pam was excited to be alone with him in his new workplace. She could now picture where he was each day while she was stuck behind the reception desk in Scranton. She kissed him while trying to commit their surroundings to memory, to somehow make his office and his desk still a part of their togetherness. Their kissing continued, and as Jim's hands stroked her back and sides, Pam knew what she wanted.

She surprised Jim by breaking off their kiss, standing up and walking around to the other side of his desk.

"What are you doing?" he asked, watching her as she picked up his computer monitor and placed it on the floor.

"I don't want to be responsible for breaking anything," she replied, moving his picture frames, name plate, and various office supplies onto Andy's desk.

Jim looked both concerned and confused. "And why would you be breaking anything?"

Pam came back around and stood between Jim and his desk. He stared at her in silence as she hitched her skirt up a little higher than what could be considered modest and sat back down on the edge of the desk. She kicked off her shoes and put her feet in his lap. "Well, you never know how things could go," she said, her voice sultry with meaning. "You did want to know what I was wearing under my skirt, didn't you?"

He rested his elbow on his chair and rested his head into for a moment. "Pam, no..." he groaned.

"Why not?" she asked innocently, stroking her feet across his lap.

"My desk?" He looked up at her as if she were insane. "How am I going to be able to sit here and work every day after that?" He seemed to emphasis his point by shifting in his chair, and grabbing her feet with his hands to keep them still.

"That's kind of the point," she purred, pleased to notice her footwork was starting to affect him. "I want to know you'll be thinking of me when I'm not here."

"Trust me, I will be thinking about you." Despite his protests, she could tell he fighting not to smile.

She slid her skirt higher, then pulled his chair closer. "Are you sure?" she asked. She parted her legs a little more, knowing full well the view she was now giving him. He met her gaze, but when he eyes flicked downward over her body she knew he was on the verge of surrender. "Come here," she said softly.

He stood up, closing the distance between them as they once again kissed. Her hands were his hair, her soft-skinned legs wrapped around his denim-clad ones. He moved from kissing her lips to her jaw and then down her neck to her collarbone. She whispered his name softly as his hands traveled down her body, stopping at her skirt to pull it up higher. She put her hands behind her and lifted her butt up as Jim made sure her skirt was entirely scrunched up around her waist. She let out a laugh when she sat back down on the desk. Jim stopped kissing her momentarily.

"Cold," she explained. He laughed quietly and began kissing her again, rubbing his hands around her hips and lower back.

Pam brought her hands forward, resting them on the front of his waistband. She undid the metal button when Jim put his hand on hers, stopping her. "Not yet," he said, his mouth still hot on her neck. He pulled back to look at her. "Lean back," he instructed her.

Pam was initially confused, but she complied. She leaned back onto her elbows as she watched Jim sit back down in his chair. When he rolled closer to her she understood what he was doing. She felt a shiver of nervousness and anticipation - this wasn't what she had planned on at all. She closed her eyes when she felt him kiss the inside of her thigh, and opened her legs wider under his gentle pressure.

The recognition of what he was doing for her made her weak even before he touched her. She couldn't resist a moan the first time she felt his tongue. The sensations nearly overwhelmed her. She was aware of his mouth, his tongue and his fingers all moving together in different ways, sometimes low and gentle, sometimes harder and faster. Her movements against his touch were completely involuntary, and she was aware that she was practically mewling with pleasure, but she couldn't have stopped herself if she had wanted to. It felt so good it was almost a painful sensation, but she didn't want him to stop. He seemed to sense her rhythm, and slowed down several times when she felt she was on the brink of orgasm. Each time she moaned in frustration, only to purr again when he worked her up to an even higher level of pleasure. When he finally pushed her over the edge, Pam was sure she actually saw stars. Jim held her so tight as she climaxed that he left finger marks on her hips.

Her eyes were still closed, her breath still ragged, when she felt Jim stand up and she heard the faint metallic scratch of his zipper as he undid his jeans. "Pam," he said hoarsely. She knew what he was asking.

"Yes, Jim, please," she said.

He wasted no time and soon Pam felt him inside her. She pushed herself back up onto her hands, and wrapped her legs tightly around him. There was an urgency in his thrusts, a roughness that Pam found surprising but also exciting. Clearly he had enjoyed arousing her so thoroughly and it felt to Pam as if he was trying to claim her yet again. It was definitely not a side of Jim's personality she'd ever seen before, but hoped it wasn't going to be last time.

By the time Jim was finished they were both sweaty from exertion, and weak from satiation. He collapsed back into his chair, pulling Pam back onto his lap. They clung to each other in the semi-darkness, their breathing slowly coming back to normal.

"Wow," Pam finally said, a touch of laughter and awe in her voice. "Had I known last year how talented you are..."

Jim nuzzled his face into her neck and hair. "I'm sorry if I was a bit rough toward the end," he began.

"Don't you dare apologize," she said softly, turning her face close to his. "That felt fantastic."

"Wow," Jim echoed. "Okay."

She grinned. "Have I just ruined your image of me as a delicate flower?"

She heard him chuckle. "I don't know. I guess we've still got a lot to learn about each other."

She kissed his cheek. "That's not a bad thing," she replied.

"No, it's not," he agreed. "I just wish we weren't going to be so far apart for much of the time."

"Shh," she said tenderly. "Let's talk about that later. I want to be with you now, not worried about the being apart."

He nodded and tightened his arms around her. "Not that I know how I'm going to be able to work here now." He laughed slightly. "How do I sit in this chair and care about selling paper when I'll be relieving this moment every day?"

"Not my problem," she grinned.

"Oh you are evil, Beesly. I guess I know what my mission is the next time I'm in Scranton."

"I don't think there's enough room to do anything on my desk," she said.

"Oh, I'll figure something out. Maybe I'll just bend you over the copier."

She giggled, which caused Jim to start laughing too.

"It starting to get a little cold," Pam complained. "Should we head home?"

"Home," Jim echoed, imagining the version of home he'd like right now. "Yeah, let's go."

They straightened up Jim's desk while Pam discretely wiped it down. Jim decided to use the men's room as Pam waited at his now clean desk. She grabbed a post-it note and scribbled a message, then stuck it to the foot of the monitor for him to find on Monday morning.

_Wish I was here_, it said.


	18. Chapter 25

The drive back to Jim's apartment was quiet, but pleasant. Pam held Jim's hand in her lap, and she found a radio station that was playing soft jazz.

"I don't usually like this type of music," she admitted, "but it just seems right tonight. Maybe it's all the city lights."

"Scranton has city lights," Jim teased.

"Not like these, and you know it." She stared out the window. "I almost wish I didn't have to go back."

"Almost?" He asked quietly.

She turned her head towards him. "Well, all my stuff's back there, you know."

Jim nodded. They listened to the radio for a few minutes, then he spoke, keeping his eyes glued to the road ahead. "You could go get it and bring it all here."

Pam studied his profile before answering. "I think that's a subject better left until later, don't you?" She saw a small frown come and go quickly, and she squeezed his hand. "Nothing's impossible," she added. Jim was quiet for the rest of the ride, and Pam feared she'd upset him with her answer.

They were carrying their groceries into his apartment when she brought the subject up. "Are you angry with me that I didn't just jump at the idea of moving down here?" she asked, careful not to sound angry or accusing.

He glanced at her, but didn't meet her eyes. "No, why would I?"

"I don't know, Jim, why would you?"

He focused on putting the shopping away, placing her things on the kitchen table. "I'm not angry," he finally said.

"You clammed up after I said we should talk about it later. And I saw that frown," she added.

He shrugged as he placed the French bread on the counter. "It was nothing, Pam. I guess I just felt a little disappointed that you didn't immediately answer with a yes. Not a rational response, but it's the truth."

She had been standing with her arms crossed, leaning against the sink. At his reply she reached out and grabbed his arm, and pulled him over to her. "Hey, I didn't immediately shout no, either. You know I want to be with you."

He finally looked down into her eyes, and that familiar half-grin appeared. "I know."

She slid her arms around his waist and hugged him close. "I love you, you dork," she said, smiling against his chest.

His arms came around her and she felt him rest his head against hers. "Nice, Pam," he said sarcastically.

She leaned back and looked up at him. "Would you prefer if I said, "I love you, you incredibly handsome, smart, and witty man that I just can't seem to get enough of?"

He pretended to consider it for a moment. "I don't know about that one either. You left out sexy and talented. Oh, and the part about being extremely fantastic in bed."

Pam laughed. "That would be quite a mouthful."

Jim's eyes crinkled up as he grinned. "and that's what she said."

She giggled and leaned in against him again. When she could finally speak again, she reached up and put her arm around his neck. "How about I just say I love you?"

"And the rest is assumed?"

"The rest is assumed."

"You know what they say about when you assume, though - "

Pam sighed. "Can you please just kiss me?"

Jim grinned broader for a moment, then happily complied.

Soon after, Pam started pulling out the essentials for dinner. Jim opened the first bottle of wine, and set about cutting the French bread while took Pam the rest of the meal essentials into the living room. When they were done, they sat down together on the couch. Jim grabbed the remote, flipping through the channels while they dined on bits of bread and cheese and sips of wine. They finally gave up on television.

"How about that jazz station we were listening to on the way home?" Pam suggested.

"Oh, so we can complete the aura of urban sophistication?" Jim laughed, getting up off the couch.

"Exactly. We are so the image of modern urban hipsters."

He found the station on his stereo, then slumped back on the couch pulling her on to his lap has he did so. "Whoa!" Pam protested. "I'm trying to eat here."

He kissed her neck. "And you can't eat sitting here?"

"It's certainly more awkward," She leaned down to put her plate on the coffee table, grabbing onto Jim's arm to prevent herself from falling over. "See?"

"What a complainer, honestly," Jim sighed, wrapping his arms around her tighter. "So you'd rather eat than sit with me?"

"I bam/b starving, Jim," she replied, looking up at him. "and I have had plenty of you all day."

"Plenty of me?" Jim scoffed, pushing her off his lap. "Fine, just go eat."

Pam laughed as she moved to sit on the floor. "Come down here with me."

Jim crossed his legs and arms. "No, you just go ahead." 

Pam could tell he was fighting hard not to smile, so she grabbed his leg and began tugging on it, pulling him slowly off the couch. He finally gave in, leaning over and tackling her to the floor. They laid there, Jim sprawled over Pam, laughing like children. Pam put her hands on his face, and kissed him. 

"You really are impossible," she grinned.

He sat up on his elbows, still hovering above her. "Me?"

"Yes, you," Pam replied, still giggling. He looked so adorable she couldn't resist kissing him again. And then just once more.

"I thought you said you already had plenty of me," he said, pulling his head back when she tried to kiss him again.

"Jim Halpert, are you pouting?" Pam reached up, her fingers intertwining with the curls at the nape of his neck. She pulled his face back down to hers. "I said plenty, not too much."

"Then move down here," he replied, his breath warm against her cheek. "You can live here with me."

"Jim," she said softly, her tone telling him she wasn't going to give him the answer he was looking for. He sat up, resting his back against the couch. Pam followed, wrapping both of her arms around his left one. She rested her cheek against his shoulder. "It's not that easy."

"Why isn't it?" he asked, looking away. "It's not like you couldn't find another receptionist job in Stamford."

She lifted his left arm up and put it around her shoulder so she could get closer to him. "Look at me," she said. When he did she continued. "For a start, I don't want to be a receptionist for the rest of my life. I believe you once indicated you couldn't see that future for me, either."

He expression softened. "No, I can't. But it would be a job until you moved onto something better."

"And you are forgetting that I have already enrolled in art classes this semester. They cost me a lot of money, and I can't see just throwing that all away. Besides the fact that it's really been good for me."

Jim rubbed his face with his free hand. "Yeah, I had forgotten about those." He kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry."

Pam put her arms around this waist. "There's nothing to be sorry for. Don't you think I want to be with you, too?"

He slipped his arm from her shoulder to her waist, turning towards her. "Yeah," he replied sheepishly, "I know you do."

"Do you?" she asked again, starting to smile. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Yes. I'm sure."

"Good."

"So maybe after this semester you'll move down?"

Pam couldn't help but laugh at his hopeful expression. "Maybe. Probably." She hugged him. "I don't want us to be apart either, Jim. But right now I don't want to think think about it. I just want to enjoy being with you."

He nodded again. "But I can't help thinking about the fact that for over three years we were together in the same city, and yet we were apart. Now it's the reverse. I don't know which is worse." She was about to reply when the look in his eyes told her he was joking. "It's just that I'm really going to miss you, Beesly," he said softly. 

"Then let's make the most of our time now, Jim." She could feel tears starting to prick her eyelids. "I'm going to be be miserable without you during the week, but we'll see each other on weekends, and there's these crazy inventions called the telephone and the internet, that actually will let us transmit our thoughts and feelings to each other instantaneously. We'll still be able to get on each other's nerves miles and miles from each other."

Jim laughed. "I get it, I get it." He leaned over and picked up a piece of French bread. "Should we eat now?"

They had pushed the coffee table further back from the couch, and were halfway through the second bottle of wine, and mostly through with dinner, when Pam started giggling to herself. She was laughing so hard that she set down her wine glass and stretched out on her stomach on the carpet, resting her head on her arms.

"Out with it," Jim grinned.

"I was just thinking about our earlier adventure today," she grinned. 

"Which one?"

"At your office."

"Oh, right," Jim laughed. "iThat/i adventure." He stretched out next to her. "Any thoughts you care to share?"

"Actually," she said, rolling on her side to face him, "I was wondering what sort of fantasies you might have had when you were up in Scranton."

"Uh oh, this sounds like the wine talking," Jim grinned, inching closer. 

"No," Pam insisted, "I am not even near drunk. I was just wondering where in the office you'd ever imagined, you know - "

"I'd imagined what?" he replied, his expression daring her to say it.

"Well, you have been in love with me for a long time, I can't believe you never thought about trysts between us after hours."

"Trysts?" Jim furrowed his brow as if confused by her words.

"You know what I mean," she replied, smacking his shoulder.

He inched even closer, now practically touching her. "Yeah, but I want to hear you say it."

She rolled her eyes, and continued to grin. "Are you going to tell me if I say it?"

He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I might."

"Might?" Pam pushed herself up against him. "You'll have to do better than might."

Jim ran his hand up her side, resting it at her waist. "What do you want to know?" he asked.

Pam thought his eyes looked very dark green at that moment. His lips were very close to hers, and she could feel his breath against her skin. She kept her eyes locked on his, feeling the electricity between them even as they remained still.

"Tell me one of your fantasies about you and I making love in the office," she said, her voice rough with desire.

"One from before or after I kissed you that night?"

"You left right that kiss," she said, her heart beating so fast she was sure he could feel it. "You didn't fantasize about us in the office after you left, did you?"

His arm moved from her waist upward, his hand sliding around the back of her neck. "Like hell I didn't," he whispered, kissing her. His kiss was urgent, insistent, and he pushed her back gently. "I still have dreams about being with you in the office that night," he said, continuing to kiss her. "Except this time we don't stop kissing, and soon it comes more than just kissing."

"Like what?" she asked. She encouraged him to continue by pulling up on his sweatshirt and running her hands along his sides and back. He felt so warm under her hands, and as she did so he undid the buttons of her blouse.

"Sometimes I'd push your skirt up, and we'd do it right against my desk," he told her, kissing her neck. "Sometimes we'd end up on the conference table."

Pam wanted to laugh, but it came out as more of a moan as she felt his hands on her breasts, pushing away her shirt and unfastening her bra. "Where else have you imagined us?" She said, her breathing coming a little faster under this touch.

He raised his head up from her neck to look at her for a moment. "Where haven't I imagined us?" he asked, his voice hoarse. "Five days a week of looking at you, for over three years?" He smiled affectionately at her. "Everywhere you can imagine, Pam." He kissed her lips, trailing his down her chin, her neck, and then to her breasts.

Pam closed her eyes and rested her hands in his hair as she enjoyed his attention. "Against the fridge in the kitchen?" she asked.

He nodded slightly, making an affirmative sound against her skin.

"In the break room?"

"On Tables and up against the vending machine," he replied, stroking her stomach.

"Michael's desk?"

Jim laughed against her belly, causing Pam to giggle. He brought his face back to hers. "Okay, maybe not beverywhere/b."

"So that's probably a no to Dwight's desk, too?"

He bit her neck. "Stop. Please," he groaned. "That's just wrong." He sat up slightly, and fanned her hair out with fingers. Propped up on his right elbow, his left hand finished smoothing out her hair and slid down to caress her exposed breast. "What about you?" he asked. "Did you ever fantasize about me at work?"

She smiled up at him. "A bit, when you were there. Mostly just moments, when I wondered what it would be like to kiss you, or cuddle up with you. It wasn't until after I left Roy that I let myself imagine more, that I didn't feel guilty dreaming about more."

"And what more did you dream?" 

She closed her eyes for a moment, reveling in his closeness, enjoying the fact that she could tell him her secrets. Finally. She opened her eyes and gazed up at him. "One of my favorite fantasies is reliving that night we found Michael's screenplay. Going up on the roof for dinner, but this time we bring a couple of blankets, and while Dwight is playing around with his fireworks we're up on the roof making love."

Jim smiled. "You know, next time I come up, we could arrange that."

Pam laughed. "Well, it's starting to get a little cold in Scranton. We might want to wait until Spring." She stroked his jaw. "The rest of that fantasy always includes me going home with you afterwards."

He leaned down for another kiss. "Hey, you want some of those strawberries now?" he asked. Her smile was enough of a response, so he helped her up and they went into the kitchen. Jim grabbed the pint of berries off the counter and rinsed them while Pam got the can of whipped cream from the fridge. She started to walk back into the living room when Jim stopped her.

"I think it would be more comfortable back in the bedroom, don't you?"

She eyed him suspiciously. "You're up to something."

Jim gave her his most innocent look. "I'm just looking out for you, Beesly. If you'd rather go back down on that scratchy wool carpet, be my guest."

She laughed. "Yeah, thanks for looking out for me." She headed down the hallway toward the bedroom, taking the cap off the whipped cream as she went. She was having a taste of the cream as Jim walked in with the strawberries.

"Classy, Beesly," he joked as she directed the nozzle of the can into her mouth. 

"Don't worry," she teased back, "You're next." She was about to sit down on the bed when Jim stopped her.

"Ah, no clothes allowed while on my bed," he said, putting the strawberries on the bedside table and walking toward her. "Or have you forgotten the rules so quickly?"

"Fascist," she replied, pulling on his sweatshirt. "I assume you're abiding by the same rules, then?"

He pulled his sweatshirt off and tossed it on the floor. "Naturally," he agreed. He carefully pushed Pam's shirt, which was still unbuttoned from their earlier exploits, down off her shoulders and to the floor, followed immediately by her bra. 

"Halfway ready," she said, reaching for the waist of his jeans.

Jim reached around her waist and undid the button and zipper of her skirt, his hands running over her hips as it feel to the ground. Soon Jim's jeans and boxers were history as well, and he dragged her onto the bed when she made a move to grab her red nightdress.

"I thought you liked that nightdress!" she exclaimed.

"Not tonight," he grinned, grabbing the bowl of strawberries.

"You are going to have strawberry juice stains all over these sheets if you aren't careful," she warned. 

"Oh, I'll be careful," he insisted. "Now move closer."

In the end, the can of whipped cream sat neglected on the dresser, as the combination of strawberries and kisses was more than sweet enough for the two of them. Pam thought she would never be able to eat another fresh strawberry without associating it with the feel of Jim's tongue against her lips, or how his mouth tasted after he'd eaten one. She also discovered that he liked when she would take the cold strawberry and lightly draw it across his body, following the line with her warm mouth. She'd worked her way across his neck and chest, and across his stomach before he grabbed her and rolled her over on her back.

"I was just getting started," she protested. "You didn't let me finish."

"Well, maybe it's my turn," he grinned. 

"Don't you think you've already done enough for one day?" she teased.

He stopped for a moment, and looked at the clock on the dresser. It was closing in on Midnight. "Man, this really still is Thursday, isn't it?"

Pam laughed. "Well, almost Friday, but yeah."

Jim dropped his head down on her shoulder. "I was wondering why I was starting to feel tired." He peeked up at Pam. "I do believe I met your quota today, though, Miss Beesly. It was four, was it not?"

Pam pretended to be counting. "I do believe you are correct, Mister Halpert. Nice work."

"Thank you," he replied, "I suppose you'll be expecting more of the same tomorrow, then?"

"Of course. You know, once you give the people what they want, they just expect more and more."

"Well, at least I'm getting well paid," he sighed, kissing her.

Minutes later, he stopped kissing her long enough to get out of bed and turn off the light. When he came back to her side, he began to kiss her again.

"Aren't you tired of kissing me yet?" Pam asked in a amused voice, kissing his chest.

"Honestly?" he said quietly, the serious tone in his voice clear. "No, I'm not. Is that okay?"

"It's more than okay," she replied, tilting her head up to meet his lips. "I am so in love with you." She felt him smile against her lips, and mentally made a note to pick up Chapstick tomorrow. She was sure she was going to need it.

Slowly their kissing winded down into cuddles, Jim having stretched out on his back with Pam clinging warmly to his right side. Pam was getting sleepier by the minute, but something was gnawing on her conscious, and she knew she couldn't keep it to herself any longer.

"Jim?" She whispered in the darkness.

"Hmm?"

"When we were talking out in the living room earlier, well, I didn't really tell you the complete truth."

She could feel him turn his body toward her, their limbs readjusting, reconnecting. "No?" he replied, waiting.

"No. Remember how I told you how my favorite fantasy was about that night up on the roof?"

"Yes."

"Well, I know I made it sound like I didn't start thinking about that until this past summer. But that's a lie."

"Oh?"

"No, the first time I had that fantasy - well, it was that same night, after I got home."

Jim was quiet. "That same night?" he finally repeated.

"I wanted so badly to go home with you that night." She paused, feeling the guilt and frustration of her past mistakes. "You never misinterpreted anything, Jim. You never did. It was all me, just being scared and stupid."

Jim pulled her closer. "Shh," he said softly. "It's okay."

"And it wasn't like it was just that one night. I thought about being with you all the time," she paused. "Toward the end, I avoided being with Roy as much as I could get away with."

"You'll forgive me if I would rather not ever have to imagine you with him," he said, his voice sounding slightly pained.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know that during those final months, whenever I would, I'd close my eyes and try to pretend it was you."

Jim did not reply. Pam started to feel a bit embarrassed for saying anything, but she'd carried the guilt for so long she needed to share it with someone. With the one person she thought might understand. But his silence seemed to prove her wrong. She tried to turn over, move away from her discomfort when she felt Jim stop her.

"Don't move away from me, Pam." He brought her hand up to his face, and she felt dampness on his cheek. "Please."

"I didn't mean to upset you," she apologized.

"Shh," he said once again. "I love you, Pam. I promise you that you'll never have to pretend again. Ever." 


	19. Chapter 26

Jim awoke with several thoughts floating through his brain. First was the realization that it was Friday, which meant it was the last day of his vacation. Most people would argue that he still had two more additional days, but weekends he was usually off anyway, so they didn't count. He couldn't give you a good reason why they didn't count, but he'd always felt that way, even back in school when winter and spring breaks would arrive. It was just one of many quirks Pam was doomed to discover she was stuck with.

His second thought was that he could smell strawberries, and relaxed for a while into his memories of last night. He then turned over to reach for Pam, and that's when his third thought hit. Pam was not with him. He was awake enough to know he hadn't just dreamt her up, so he laid there silently, hoping to hear where she was. There was no water running, and he didn't hear the television or the radio. He waited a bit longer, and when he was convinced he heard no clues to suggest where she might be he finally got out of bed. 

Jim pulled on a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt and wandered into the kitchen room. An empty mug sat in the sink, but nothing else seemed out of place. He assumed she ran out for something and started to set up the coffee machine. The clock on the wall said it was nearly ten o'clock. He was surprised he had slept that late, but Thursday had certainly been a long day. He rummaged through his kitchen cabinets for cereal and a bowl, and hoped Pam would be back soon. It was amazing how quickly he had gotten used to her being around constantly, and her current absence was a hint at what life was going to be like again next week. He pour milk on his mini-wheats and sat down to eat, trying to ignore the fact that he already knew he was going to miss her dreadfully.

He was drinking the milk from the bottom of his bowl when he heard his front door open. He got up and headed down the hallway, where he was greeted by the sight of Pam wrapped up in his forest green terry cloth robe and carrying a laundry basket.

⌠I was getting worried,■ he said, leaning against the hallway wall.

She walked over and ran her fingers over his upper lip. ⌠Nice milk mustache,■ she laughed. She then gave him a kiss. ⌠I'm sorry, I really didn't expect I'd be gone so long. Let me just drop this off in the bedroom.■

Jim followed her. ⌠Why didn't you expect to be gone so long?■

⌠I was just going to put the laundry in the dryer and come back, but there was a very nice guy doing his laundry too and we started talking.■

Jim sat on the bed. ⌠Oh really? You were flirting with a guy from my apartment building?■

Pam laughed. ⌠Oh yes, I batted my eyelashes at him over fabric softener sheets.■ She sat down on the bed next to him, elbowing him. ⌠No, he just asked if I was new here, and I said I was just visiting, and he told me about some of the great places to visit while I was here.■

⌠Did you happen to mention that you were visiting your boyfriend?■

⌠And ruin a perfectly flirty conversation?■ She grinned. ⌠Besides, I didn't know you were my boyfriend.■

Jim laid back on the bed, arms stretching out over his head. ⌠Then what am I?■

Jim's stretching had caused his t-shirt to ride up, exposing his stomach, the sight of which was something Pam simply couldn't refuse. She laid down on the bed, facing him with her head supported by her bent arm. ⌠I don't know,■ she answered as she trailed her fingers across his bare stomach, tracing the thin line of hair that lead down to the waistband of his boxer shorts. ⌠Lover, paramour, partner, best thing that every happened to me...■

⌠Yes, I like that last one,■ he interrupted. ⌠I can see just see as at Christmas Dinner with your family - 'and this is Jim, the best thing that every happened to me.'■

They laughed together, and she slid further up the bed towards him. ⌠It would be the truth, though,■ she said, putting her hand on his chest. ⌠Boyfriend doesn't even touch the surface of what you are to me.■

⌠Is that what you said to your laundry friend?■ He teased.

⌠Quit it,■ she smacked his chest gently. ⌠If you must know, I spent a good amount of time talking about you. And, as it so happens, he was married. So there.■

Jim brought his arms down and rolled toward her. ⌠So what did you say about me?■

⌠I thought that would get your attention,■ she said. ⌠I don't remember exactly how we got on the subject - oh, wait! Now I remember. I said I was staying with you, and I said that you were 'kind of my boyfriend', and he asked how you could be 'kind of' a boyfriend. So I told him a shortened version of the story.■

⌠And what did he say?■

⌠He said that if we managed to get together after all of that, then you were definitely my boyfriend.■ She blushed slightly. ⌠Then he said that we should get married immediately and put an end to all the nonsense.■

⌠I think this guy just became my new best friend,■ Jim replied. He moved closer, his hand running along her neck and up into her hair that she had pulled into a ponytail with her barrette. He kissed her, his fingers deftly unclasping the barrette. He tossed it on the floor and rolled on to her as his hand spread her curls through his fingers. He gazed down at her. ⌠I think we should get married immediately and put an end to all the nonsense.■

⌠Oh, no,■ she said, her tone boarding on a giggle. ⌠No, no, no, no, no.■ He started to pull back, but her hands reached up and held his face near hers. ⌠You aren't getting out of things that easily.■

⌠What?■ He smiled.

⌠We are not doing a throwaway marriage proposal. None of this 'oh, and by the way, why don't we get married' crap.■ She brought her head up to his, kissing him and biting his lower lip slightly as she pulled back. ⌠You, my friend, are going to have to earn a Yes the old-fashioned way.■

⌠The old-fashioned way?■ He asked.

⌠Yes. Roll over,■ she told him, ⌠and I will explain it to you.■ Jim moved off her, sliding up to put his head on his pillow. Before he realized what was happening, Pam had climbed on top of him, casting his robe onto the floor. She was wearing her red silk nightdress underneath. She grabbed her pillow and plopped it on his chest, then rested her arms on it, followed by resting her head on her arms. This gave her a slight perch from which to look at Jim, while distracting him by rubbing her legs against his and feeling the warmth of their torsos and hips pressed together.

⌠The old-fashioned way is that you spend a suitable amount of time courting me, and then when you feel vaguely confident that I might agree to such an idea, you spend more money than you should on an engagement ring. Then you plan some wonderfully romantic event in which the highlight is getting down on one knee and presenting me with said ring, at the same time professing your deep and unending love for me and begging humbly for me to marry you.■ She smiled knowingly at him.

⌠Wow. Can you write that all down for me? Because I'm going to need a checklist to remember all that.■ Jim's looked at her in disbelief. ⌠And an expensive ring? You think you're worth it?■

Pam grinned at him. ⌠I know I am.■

⌠Now that's what I want to hear,■ he laughed. He pulled her pillow out from under her arms.

⌠Hey!■ she called out in surprise, sliding down onto the bed next to him. He took this opportunity to turn toward her and pull her close.

⌠You deserve the best of everything, Pam. I want to be the one who gives that to you.■

⌠You don't have to worry,■ Pam replied, brushing her palm against the roughness of his unshaved face. ⌠I am not going anywhere. I just don't want to rush it. I want to know what it's like to be your girlfriend for a while.■

⌠It's going to be difficult with us living in different cities.■

⌠Yeah, maybe, but hardly impossible,■ she shrugged, kissing him. ⌠I happen to think you're worth a little bit of effort.■ 

⌠Well, thank you,■ he replied.

⌠Besides, I'd rather be separated by distance than situation, if that makes any sense.■

Jim rested his forehead against hers, his hand brushing her hair back from her face. ⌠It does, and I agree. At least I know you're mine.■

She put her arm around his waist and pulled herself closer. ⌠Always,■ she replied. ⌠We'll make it, Jim. Whatever happens, this isn't going to change, you know?■

He pulled his head back slightly, his eyes searching hers, his expression serious. ⌠I know,■ he finally said. ⌠I just hope this all gets easier soon. I don't want to be away from you.■

⌠Me, too.■

Talking about being separated made being as close together as possible now very necessary. The fact that they were getting used to each other bodies, were familiar with how they fit together and what made the other feel good seemed to bring with it a sense of languidness. The passion was still there, intensively there - but the fear, the fear that they would lose each other if they didn't hold on - seemed to be diminishing. They took their time with each other, talking and laughing and cuddling in between their moments of heat and wanting and their instinctive need for each other. Today was a day to completely lock out the outside world and focus on each other, and it was well after noon by the time they emerged from Jim's bedroom.

They decided to stay in pajamas: Jim back in his solid blue boxers and grey t-shirt, Pam in her silk red nightdress with Jim's green terrycloth robe on top, the sleeves cuffed back twice. They gathered food from the kitchen and laid it out on the coffee table while Jim flipped on the television. They leaned against each other on the couch, eating left over French bread and cheeses while they caught up with Headline News then switched over to the Game Show Network at Pam's request.

Jim had his arm around her, and squeezed her shoulder playfully. ⌠Family Feud, Pam? Seriously?■

She elbowed him gently in the stomach. ⌠Hey I don't usually get to sit around watching television all afternoon. I grew up watching this show, and I bet so did you.■

⌠I may have been forced to sit through a episode or two,■ he admitted. She tilted her head back to look at him skeptically. ⌠Or a dozen or two.■

⌠Well I'm sure I can remember the answers better than you can,■ Pam said casual but smug in her claim.

Jim tilted his head back against the couch and laughed. ⌠Oh, Beesly, you are just so transparent. Do you really want to spend this afternoon being repeated trounced by me?■

She snuggled closer. ⌠Trounced? Unless there a new meaning to that word, the only thing you are going to do to me is bow down before my superior trivia knowledge.■

⌠Outdated trivia knowledge. Pam, these polls were taken over 20 years ago!■

⌠Whatever,■ she said flippantly. ⌠I'll still mop the floor with you.■

He nuzzled her neck, whispering in her ear. ⌠Care to put a wager on that claim?■

⌠I thought you'd never ask,■ she purred, turning towards him. ⌠Winner's choice?■

⌠Wow,■ Jim laughed. ⌠I do believe you are a hustler, Pamela Beesly.■

⌠If you're scared,■ she taunted, pressing her finger into his chest with each word.

⌠Of you?■ He grinned. ⌠You just better be ready to pay up when I win.■

She offered her hand. ⌠Shake on it?■

⌠Please,■ he scoffed. ⌠Handshaking is for amateurs.■ He wrapped both arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. ⌠I only seal deals with kisses.■

She giggled loudly. ⌠Then I hope you chose your betting partners wisely.■

He pulled her face to his. ⌠Oh, I'm very choosy.■

What start as a sign of agreement soon progressed to sometime much more, and the game show was more than half over by the time they decided that maybe they should be paying more attention to it. Pam was happy to remain on Jim's lap, however, bouncing excitedly when she beat Jim at giving the top scoring answers. Jim enjoyed playing along, although the more she moved around on his lap, the less focused he became on the television. Especially after Pam took off his green bathrobe, complaining she was feeling warm. With just cotton boxer shorts and a silk nightdress separating them, Jim starting to think about better ways they could be spending the time, and watching Richard Dawson indiscriminately kiss people was not winning out.

With his arms still securely around her waist, he found his attention drawn to her bare shoulders and arms. She kept her eyes on the television, but her little sighs as he kissed his way slowly up her left arm told him she wasn't as immune to his attention as she was pretending. She finally reacted when he began sliding his tongue across her skin as he kissed her. He smiled as she shivered a bit, and continued across her shoulder blade, tugging on the thin strap until it fell off her shoulder. He could see goose bumps rising on her skin, but he continued his pattern of kissing and tasting her skin until he reached the back of her neck. 

When he kissed her there she sighed again and pushed back against him. He was already feeling the familiar sensation in his stomach that said television had lost out a long time ago, but when she silently took his hands and placed them over her breasts Jim felt momentarily dizzy as all the blood in his brain headed immediately south. Her nipples were hard and feeling them through the slipperiness of her nightdress made him so immediately erect he knew she had to have felt it happen. The grin on her face as she turned around to face him told him he was right.

Pam shifted position, straddling her legs across his lap, and putting her arms up around his neck. ⌠You don't appear to be paying attention to the show, Jim,■ she teased. ⌠Is this your way of admitting defeat?■

⌠Not defeat,■ he replied, ⌠Just a better game.■

⌠A better game?■ She repeated, purposely moving her hips against his.

⌠Definitely. We both win this one.■ Jim grabbed the tv remote, clicked off the television and threw the remote on the coffee table.

Pam laughed, and kissed the left side of his throat, the chafe of his stubble tingling her lips. She worked her way to his ear. ⌠Admit default to my game and I will be more than happy to play yours.■

⌠You just never give up, do you?■ He replied.

⌠Nope, not when I know I've won.■

⌠But you didn't win. We never really started playing.■ 

They were punctuating their good-natured disagreement with kisses. ⌠We did start playing, and you quit so I won,■ she insisted. She pulled back as if she were about to stand up, and Jim quickly pulled her back down on top of him.

⌠Fine, Beesly, if that's how you want to take a win, be my guest.■ The look in his eyes said he'd long since past the point of caring about their game. Pam wasn't so willing to let it go.

⌠I'm taking the win as I should, and therefore I am ready to claim the first part of my prize.■ She sat back on his lap, her hands reaching down for the hem of his grey t-shirt. She lifted it upwards, and Jim assisted her but pulling it up over his head and throwing it toward the other end of the couch. 

⌠Okay, well if this is part of your winnings,■ he grinned, ⌠Then I completely believe you won.■

She leaned forward, standing up on her knees as she began to kiss him again . ⌠I thought you might start to see things my way.■

Jim held his hands firmly against her lower back and bottom, holding her close while at the same time relaxing under her touch. She concentrated on placing kisses along his brow, across his cheeks, along his jaw. When she focused back on his mouth she could feel his hands grasp her tighter, and she smiled against his lips. She loved the power he had over him, knowing that she had the ability to make him feel so good. She sat back on her haunches, resting on his lap as she began to brush her lips against his neck and throat.

Jim closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the couch. Her hands were brushing across his chest and stomach, and he could feel her mouth following closely behind. When she stepped back off the couch and pushed the coffee table further away, he opened his eyes to see what she was doing. A moment later he watched her lower herself between his legs, kneeling on the floor. She gave him a mischievous smile as their eyes met. When her fingers curled around the waistband of his boxers, he began to understand what she was doing. He lifted his hips up off the sofa as she pulled his boxers down, and lifted each leg up so she could pull them off completely. She threw them on the couch next to his t-shirt with a dramatic flourish, and the both laughed briefly. 

Then their eyes met again, and Jim slouched further down the couch as Pam ran her hands slowly along both of his thighs. She moved close enough that her stomach brushed against his erection, and as she leaned in to kiss his stomach again, the swish of the red silk against his penis made him squirm a bit. The coolness of the material followed immediately by the warmth of her body pressing against him was a heady experience, and he tried to relax in order to enjoy the sensation as long as possible.

Her hands still caressed his legs as mouth moved lower along his abdomen, and felt the need to lock his legs around her. His hands fell gently on her shoulders, his fingers threading through her hair. The first feeling of her mouth on his penis was when she slowly ran her tongue up along its underside, from base to tip. He couldn't help groan at how good it felt. His fingers tightened around her shoulders as she continued, and he found himself wishing he could somehow bottle the sensations she was causing.

⌠God, you are so good at this,■ he said softly.

She stopped for a moment. ⌠Please don't make me laugh,■ she said, already trying very hard to stop smiling.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. ⌠I'm not trying to.■

⌠I know,■ she grinned, ⌠I'm sorry.■ A fit of giggles soon overtook Pam, and she rested her head against his leg while she tried to stop laughing.

Jim sat up, the mood at least momentarily lost. ⌠What is so funny?■ 

⌠Nothing,■ she said, wiping away tears that had started to form. ⌠I swear, I don't know why I'm laughing.■ She sat up on her knees again. ⌠I'm so sorry about that.■

He couldn't help but smile, despite her atrocious timing. ⌠I'm glad you find sex with me to be so funny, Beesly.■

⌠It's not, really,■ she replied, holding onto his arms and trying valiantly to look serious. She took a deep breath and looked back up at him as she finally felt serious again. ⌠I'm sorry, Jim. Can I start over?■

⌠If you think you can handle it,■ Jim replied. ⌠I wouldn't want to set you off again.■

She pushed him back against the couch. ⌠Just shut up,■ she told him. He felt her hands on him and it didn't take long to get him to agree that it was worth another try. He closed his eyes, and felt the need to touch her shoulders again, moving his hips in response to her hands and mouth. He again found himself marveling at her skills, but he wisely kept that thought to himself for the time being. 

Soon it was as if their interruption had never occurred. The only thought in his head was that this wonderful feeling was Pam, and he wasn't sure if he was ever going to be able to get enough of her. His hands were wrapped around her forearms as she drove him over the edge, and it was only afterwards that they both noticed the red scratch marks he'd left on her. She crawled back up onto his lap, pulling the green bathrobe over them like a blanket.

⌠Sorry about the scratches,■ he said softly, running his hand over her arm.

⌠Souvenirs,■ she grinned, kissing his cheek and cuddling closer. ⌠Don't worry, you'll get yours before I leave.■

⌠I better,■ he replied warmly. ⌠No fair you getting all the good stuff.■

They stayed like that for a little while, eventually shifting into a more comfortable position with them both lying on the couch, a blanket and their arms around each other. It was a close fit, with minimal movement permitted, but neither were complaining. The afternoon nap they shared was both romantic and comforting, and they hesitated to leave their little cocoon even when things like hunger and other human necessities called.

⌠Come on, Halpert,■ Pam sighed, pulling ineffectively at the blanket, ⌠I really need to get up now.■

⌠Fine,■ Jim complained with a grin, ⌠Ruin a beautifully cozy afternoon.■ He pulled the blanket from where it had wrapped underneath Pam and laughed as he watched her get up quickly and head toward his bathroom.

By the time Pam returned he was sitting up, dressed again in his boxers and t-shirt. She plopped down beside him and pulled the blanket up, attempting to cuddle up next to him again. Jim playfully pushed her away.

⌠Nope,■ he told her, ⌠you broke the spell. You have to sit on that side of the couch now.■

She made a face of disbelief. ⌠Jim, I had to go to the bathroom, for heaven's sake.■

⌠Not my problem. You should have thought of that before.■ He crossed his arms over his chest and regarded her smugly.

⌠You're a dork,■ Pam replied, rolling her eyes. She made a big display of moving to the opposite corner of the couch, then pulled the blanked completely off Jim, tucking it in around her.

⌠Hey!■ He complained, ⌠That's my blanket.■

⌠Not my problem,■ she said airily.

⌠Oh, I think it's about to be,■ Jim threatened. 

Before Pam could respond, Jim lunged across the couch and began pulling the blanket back. Soon they had a full-blown tug-of-war commencing, and despite Jim larger size, Pam was able to hold her own for a while. That was until it became clear that Jim was not above resorting to tickling to try and win. 

⌠Hey, quit it!■ Pam yelped, moving from the couch to the floor to escape his hands. She did, however, manage to keep hold of a corner of the blanket.

⌠You started it, Beesly,■ Jim grinned, moving to the floor as well.

⌠Does everything have to be a contest?■ Pam grumbled. 

Jim stopped and looked at her, his mouth literally dropping open. ⌠Oh. My. God. You did not just say that. You, of all people! Pot, I'd like you to meet kettle.■

Pam had the courtesy to blush and pulled her edge of the blanket up to her face as she giggled. While she was distracted Jim moved closer and grabbed hold of her leg. Suddenly his interest was no longer the blanket, but in pining Pam down to the floor. He managed to push the coffee table a little further back and grab her wrists before she noticed what he was doing.

⌠When did this become wrestling?■ she asked, his face mere inches from hers. They were both breathing a little rapidly, but neither seemed inclined to stop as Pam attempted to free her arms to no avail.

⌠Do you want me to stop?■

She glanced up at his hands, still securely pressing her wrists to the carpet. ⌠I didn't say that,■ she replied coyly.

⌠Then what do you want?■ His voice dropped a little deeper.

She looked into his eyes and deliberately licked her lips. ⌠I think I'm getting a little hungry actually,■ she said.

Jim closed his eyes and shook his head, laughter bubbling up. He relaxed his body against her, releasing her arms. She reached up and wrapped them around his neck and giggled as well. He pulled his head up and kissed her gently. ⌠You really are something special, Pam - you know that right?■

She kissed him back. ⌠I do try.■

He moved off of her and sat up, resting his back against the couch. He offered his hand and pulled her up next to him, and they began to discuss the possibilities for dinner. As they still had no intention of getting dressed or stepping outside of the apartment, dinner was determined by the leaflets of local delivery shops Jim had scattered in a kitchen drawer or taped to the fridge. 

⌠Well what do you want to do tonight? Watch movies? What we do might influence what we should eat.■ 

⌠I don't much mind, but I'm not in the mood for complicated food.■

Jim lowered the Mexican food menu in his hand and smiled at her. ⌠Complicated food?■

⌠Yeah, you know. I don't want to have to mix things together, or have to decide which sides I want. Food with no options.■

⌠Is picking pizza toppings too complicated?■

⌠No,■ she shook her head. ⌠That's fine. I don't much care what's on a pizza anyway. I have no forbidden toppings.■

⌠Good to know,■ Jim laughed. ⌠Pizza it shall be then.■

Pam was sitting on the floor in front of his DVD collection, trying to pick which movies to watch when she noticed a few boxes that were different from the rest. She pulled one of them off the shelf, and took it into the kitchen where Jim was sorting out plates and drinks for their upcoming meal.

⌠Hey, Jim,■ she said, reading the back of the box as she walked in, ⌠I have kind of a crazy idea.■

⌠And this is different from your usual ones how exactly?■

She bumped herself into him. ⌠Funny,■ she replied, sticking her tongue out. She handed him the box. ⌠You want to play this?■

He looked at the box and she could see something akin to shock clearly on his face. Shock and just a touch of delight. ⌠Are you serious?■

⌠Yeah, I'm serious.■

⌠Do you know how to play?■

⌠This game or THE game?■

⌠This video game.■ She had handed him his prized copy of Madden Football '07. 

⌠No, but would it be hard to teach me?■

⌠It might take a little time,■ he mused, ⌠but it's not like you don't already understand the basics of football, right?■

⌠Jim, I grew up in Scranton. You aren't allowed to graduate high school unless you know the difference between a wide receiver and a tight end.■

⌠True.■ He glanced at the game and smiled again at her. ⌠You really want to learn how to play this?■ 

⌠Yeah. It would be nice to have something else to beat you at.■ She gave him a cheeky smile, but it really just made her happy that she'd found something that he clearly was excited to do.

⌠In your dreams,■ he mocked, handing her the game back. ⌠But I will certainly enjoy watching you learn to play.■

When the pizza arrived, Jim answered the door in his green bathrobe, as Pam modestly hid in the living room. It didn't take them long to surround themselves with the food and drink (beer Jim had found in a cabinet), sit next to each other on the floor, and start playing.

Pam was at first a little fearful as to how it would turn out, because she was used to having Roy teach her things, which usually involved him making her feel like an idiot at some point and her getting angry and giving up. But one thing Jim was uniquely good at was teaching, and explaining the rules and the options of the video game was no exception. He was incredibly patient, and encouraged her to handle the controls right from the beginning, even if she knew it was probably painful for him to watch. They started out at the most basic level, them against the computer, and they spent more time laughing at her horrendous plays than scoring any points for quite some time.

For Jim's part, he was impressed with how quickly she learned and understood the various options, and while it would be quite some time before he'd have to worry about her beating him in his favorite game, it was still so much fun playing it with her.

As the evening unfolded, the pizza was completely finished off. The beer was slowly but ultimately drank, as had the little bit of wine Pam found in the fridge. During all of that they continued to play. The first time Pam noticed what time it was, she was walking into the kitchen to put dishes in the sink. She just stopped at stared at the clock, amazed to see that it was well after ten o'clock. They'd been playing Madden '07 for over five hours straight. 

When she walked back into the living room, she sat on the couch instead of back on the floor next to Jim. He'd seen her expression and turned to face her.

⌠Pam, what's the matter?■

⌠We've been playing football for five hours.■

⌠Yeah,■ he grinned.

⌠I have no idea where the time went.■

He put the controls down and joined her on the couch, putting his arm around her. ⌠We were having fun,■ he said slowly.

She looked at him like he was out of his mind. ⌠Yeah, but how did five hours pass like that?■ She snapped her fingers.

⌠Why does that bother you?■

She gave him a long look without saying a word, then she put her head on his shoulder. ⌠Because it's all going too fast,■ she said softly. 

He hugged her tighter, understanding completely. ⌠Come on,■ he said gently, kissing the top of her head. He stood up and held out his hand, helping her up. He reached for the remote and turned off the television and the game box. He flicked off the living room light, and lead her down the hallway with just the slightest pressure of his hand on her back.

They didn't bother to switch on the bedroom light. Jim just held back the sheets and helped Pam climb into bed, then walked around the bed and slid in on the other side. They met in the middle, facing each other, limbs entwined. 

⌠It's going to work out, you know,■ Jim finally said.

⌠I know,■ she sighed. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness and she could still make out his features. She smiled, hoping he could see her as well. ⌠And I really did have fun tonight.■

⌠I know,■ he echoed. ⌠You did pretty damn well, too.■

⌠We are so weird.■

Jim laughed. ⌠Any reason in particular?■

⌠You'd think we were kids they way we play.■

⌠And that's bad?■

⌠I don't know. It just doesn't seem normal.■

Jim inched closer. ⌠Pam, we've never been normal.■ He smiled at the sound of her giggle. ⌠I wouldn't want us to be.■

⌠Aren't we supposed to be grown-ups by now?■

Jim ran his hand lazily down her side. ⌠You feel pretty grown-up to me.■

She groaned and pushed his hand away. ⌠You know what I mean.■

⌠I know that I love you just the way you are. I know how much I love how we are together. I don't care if that means we are grown-up or not.■

⌠But relationships are hard work.■

⌠True, but we've not exactly had a free ride to this point. I think we've worked hard.■

She was silent for a minute. ⌠I guess I never thought being with someone could be this much fun.■

⌠I'll take that as a compliment then.■ 

She laughed again. ⌠It is.■ She sighed, pulling herself close to him. ⌠I'm sorry I've put such a damper to the end of such a lovely day.■

She felt Jim run his hand over her nightdress, and felt him smile against her neck as he began to kiss her. 

⌠Who said the day is over?■ He whispered. 


	20. Chapter 27

"I thought you said we were going to stay in your apartment all weekend?" She asked as they got in her car.

Jim shrugged as he started the engine. "I changed my mind. Is that going to be a problem?" He gave her a look daring her to suggest it was going to be one, and she laughed.

"Not at all. I just wonder what you are up to."

"Why do you think I'm up to something?"

"Why are you answering all my questions with more questions?"

"Does that bother you?" Jim grinned.

"No, but I feel like we are playing a game from _Whose Line Is It Anyway_," she laughed.

"Would you like to?"

"Shut up!" She giggled. "Just tell me what we are doing."

"Now that I can do," he replied. "Sort of. We are now heading to the illustrious Stamford Town Center for a bit of shopping."

"Okay, that sounds fun. What do you need?"

"It's not what I need, Pam. It's what you need."

"Really? And what do I need, Jim?"

He merged with the freeway traffic before replying. "Today you need an outfit for the evening I have planned."

"What sort of outfit?"

"Something dressier than the few things you have with you, that much is certain," he nodded.

"What do you have planned?" She asked again.

"I am not at liberty to discuss the details at this time," he said. His voice sounded serious but there was an excited gleam in his eye as they glanced at each other. "Just trust me, okay?"

"Okay," she said simply. She reached over and put her hand on his arm that was resting on the console. "Will it include playing some more Madden later?"

Jim smiled broadly. "You know, Beesly, you might just be the perfect woman."

Once at the mall, Jim lead Pam straight to Saks. Pam was admiring several lovely dresses until she stole a glance at the price tag on her favorite. She dropped it like she'd just been burned. "I hate to break it to you, Jim," she said in a voice she hoped was low enough to avoid detection by the sales associate standing just a few feet away, "But it has just been officially confirmed that Dunder Mifflin does not pay its receptionists well enough to shop at Saks Fifth Avenue."

"That is sad news," Jim nodded. "But they pay their salesmen enough - especially if the paper salesman in question was the branch's top earner for the last three months in a row."

"Impressive," Pam replied sincerely. "But that doesn't change the fact that there isn't anything in here that I can afford."

"Which is why you aren't the one who has to worry about the cost. Just pick the one you like best."

Jim noticed the smile slip from her face, and wondered what was wrong. Pam stared at him blankly for a moment, then turned and walked away from him, heading toward the exit doors that lead to the rest of the mall. He quickly followed, grabbing her arm as they made it into the mall corridor.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"You can't just do that!" Pam replied, her face flushed with anger. "You don't get to do that."

He gently pulled her over to a cluster of benches, sitting them down. "Do what? I just want to buy you a dress."

"I don't need you to prove anything, Jim. I know you are making a lot more money than I am."

"Hey," Jim replied, feeling a bit hurt by her accusation. "That's not what this is about at all. Do you honestly think I care how much money you make - or don't make? I would want to buy you a dress today even if you made more money than I did. I just wanted to give you something that I know you probably wouldn't buy for yourself."

Pam snorted. "You got that right. Four hundred dollars! That dress I looked at was four hundred dollars!"

"But you liked it, right?"

She looked at him, and finally understood what he was thinking. "But it's four hundred dollars. For a dress, Jim!" She laughed softly at how earnestly he was still looking at her. "I would kick your ass if you ever spent four hundred dollars on a single dress for me. That's ridiculous."

He felt much more relaxed at her smile and put his hand into hers. "Well what if I buy you a less expensive dress. Would you mind that so much?"

"Maybe," she replied, looking down at their hands. "But you really don't have to do it. I am capable of buying my own dress for tonight."

"I am sure you are. But I really want to buy it for you. It's part of the whole day's experience."

Pam tilted her head and looked at him, as if she just didn't know what to do with him. She kissed his cheek and grinned. "Okay, fine. But only because you really seem set on the idea."

Jim laughed and pulled her to her feet before giving her a kiss back. "Yes, I am doing this only because it will make me happy. Now let's go find a dress that doesn't cost four hundred dollars. I'm really not in the mood to have my ass kicked right now."

They wandered through the mall hand-in-hand. Jim suggested different shops to explore, while Pam was happy just window shopping. "They don't have their entire stock in the windows, Pam," he teased her.

"I know," she replied. "But I'll know what I want when I see it." She glanced up at him. "You in any hurry?"

"Not really, why?"

"Just wondered if there's anywhere we need to be at a certain time."

Jim grinned. "Nice try, Beesly. You are just going to have to wait and see."

She finally found a dress that caught her attention. Short and black with a fun pattern of red apples along the bottom hem, the wide band of collar distracted the eye from the fact that it was sleeveless, which didn't make it the most practical dress for early October. But Pam loved it. It also turned out to be less than thirty dollars.

"You have an instinctive sense for a bargain, I'll give you that," Jim grinned as they walked out of the shop with it. Pam had decided he couldn't see her in it until tonight, so she had made him wait at the front of the store while she tried it on. Her pleasure at its fit made him look forward to tonight even more.

"I'm going to need shoes now, you know," she said. "Unless you want me to match this with my Keds."

"See, I knew once you got started you'd find it easy to spend my money," he teased.

"You caught me," Pam admitted swinging their clasped hands between them as they walked. "I'm not leaving here until I bleed you dry."

Jim stopped for a moment and took a look at his watch. "Tell you what," he said, fishing his wallet out of his pocket. "I need to go check on something, so you take this -" he handed her a handful of bills "and go get whatever else you need. You call me when you're finished and we'll meet in the food court downstairs."

"What do you need to check on?"

"Never you mind," he replied, kissing her on the cheek. "It will all be clear later."

"You really have a flair for the dramatic, don't you?" she laughed.

"Oh," he added, "there's at least one hair salon downstairs. You should get your hair done too while we're here."

"Yes, sir."

He kissed her again. "Doing what you're told? Now this is a nice change."

She stuck her tongue out at him as she playfully pushed him away. "Go. I need to spend this money."

Jim grabbed her for one more kiss, knowing that people were starting to stare at them. "See you later," he said as he finally walked away and stepped onto the down escalator. He couldn't help but keep his eyes on her face until he disappeared below the floor line.

It was ridiculous how much he was enjoying their afternoon. Part of it was the anticipation of what he had planned for the evening, but the other part was just his amazement at how doing such ordinary things seemed like so much fun because he was doing them with her. He couldn't imagine ever truly having a bad day if she was around.

His errand took even less time than he thought it would, and he found himself sitting in the food court, nursing a iced coffee and reliving his morning. Jim had woken up that morning a little after seven, his first thoughts ones of contentment as he watched Pam sleeping next to him. She was snoring again, albeit slightly, and her hair was tousled from sleep and their encounter in the night. He smiled as he pushed some of the unruly tendrils from her face, remembering how he'd woken up in the night and found her lying there awake as well. It had taken less than a few moments of eye contact in the darkened room for them to know what they both wanted. Jim felt himself stirring at just the memory, both of them silent as they made love except for sighs, moans and similar expressions that had no words in the English language that could do them justice. For two people who had always had the ability to speak to each other without saying a word, Jim thought it might have been the best sex he'd ever had, though he was willing to put that theory to the test with repeated trials.

He decided not to wake her, and instead he kept still and watched her, trying to memorize the the way her face looked when she slept, the way she curled her hands up under her chin and bent her knees. Waking up to her these past days was a simple joy he had not truly appreciated until he experienced it, and he thought it might be what he missed most when they were apart.

He started to think about what they might do with their last full day of the weekend together, and knew immediately that he wanted to do something special for her. Something to give her absolutely no doubts about where he stood, where they stood. He rejected the idea of a proposal, though he was more than willing if he thought she'd accept. _Just take it slow_, he told himself. _We don't need to rush. There will be time for that. _

A few ideas floated through his head, and he found himself slipping out of bed and into the living room to his computer. Oblivious to the fact that he was sitting as his desk naked, Jim brought up page after page of sites to nail down the details of his plan. It was shortly after nine o'clock when he made his way back to bed, looking forward to the surprises he had prepared for Pam.

...And now it was all starting to fall into place. He knew he still had plenty of time to kill, so he wandered off to find a tie that wouldn't clash too horribly with Pam's dress.

Forty minutes and two tie purchases later, Jim finally met up with Pam in the food court. As she was keeping her purchases under wraps, he did the same. He ended up with two ties because he wasn't sure which one he liked better. Both were reasonably conservative, that much was a given. But he never really gave much thought to ties before, and certainly not with an eye to try and compliment anyone else's outfit. He hoped she wouldn't laugh too hard at him, but he bought both and figured he'd let her decide.

At least one of Pam's investments was impossible to hide. As she approached his table, he stood up to greet her. "Turn around," he instructed, "Let me see the back."

Pam had been convinced by the hair stylist to try something new, and the result was a riotous mass of curls cascading from a soft bun that was wrapped with a braid. It was by far the most complicated hair-do she'd ever worn, and Jim could tell she was feeling a little self-conscious about it.

"Nice," he enthused as she put her shopping bag down and twirled around.

"Are you sure?" She pushed one of the curls near her face behind her ear. "Maybe it's a little too much."

"Not at all," he smiled. "I like it."

She didn't look convinced. "I feel like everyone is staring at me."

He put his arm around her and pulled out a chair at the table for her. "If they are it's because you look so beautiful."

Pam laughed and sat down. "You are so full of it," she replied, but he could tell she was feeling a bit more relaxed. They grabbed some lunch in the form of gyros and a shared order of Chick-Fil-A waffle fries, and soon headed back to Jim's apartment. Jim walked behind Pam as they headed down the corridor to his place, and despite being laden down with all the bags, the only thing he was concentrating on was the back of Pam's neck. She rarely wore her hair up, so it was a part of her he never fully appreciated. At least not until this moment. Now he found that all he wanted to do was get into his apartment, throw down the bags, and kiss the back of her neck. And that's exactly what he did.

"Hey," Pam called out in surprise as she felt his lips brushing against her hairline. "Be careful back there."

"Sorry," he laughed and wrapped his arms around her, still placing kisses against her exposed neck. "I'm afraid I couldn't resist."

She turned around in his arms. "So what do you have planned for this afternoon? Are we staying in for a while or do we have to jet off to somewhere else?"

"I have no plans but to be with you," he grinned. "Do you have any suggestions?"

"Well, I did have one," she mused, flashing him a sly smile, "but I'm not sure it's going to work now that I had my hair done for tonight."

"Oh, and why not?"

"Because I didn't spend all that time under the dryer to have my hair get mussed before the night even starts."

"I'm sure we could be careful." He laughed and kissed her neck again. "And did you really just use the word 'mussed'?"

"You don't even know what I'm going to suggest," she laughed as he continued kissing her, pushing her slowly backwards toward his bedroom. "And yes I did. You paid a lot of money for this hair style."

"Doesn't matter. I've just come up with better plan."

"How do you know your plan is better?" She giggled. "You don't even know what my idea is."

"Does your idea involve nudity?" 

Pam put her arm out against the bedroom door frame, stopping their progression into the bedroom. "That's what makes your idea automatically superior?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "Maybe."

Pam took her hand off the frame in order to pulled his face down to hers. "Just watch the hair," she murmured as she kissed him. "Actually," she smiled, "Let's take this to the living room."

It was hard to tell if Pam pushed Jim onto the couch or he pulled her down on top of him, but they didn't waste any time once they got there. It was an unspoken race to see who could be the first to undo all of each other's shirt buttons, and with the exception of being willing to be slowed down by kisses, they took their competition seriously. With fewer buttons to deal with, Jim had her shirt off first, and was happily focused on the hooks of her bra.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you what other shop I went into today," she said, finally pushing his white oxford off his shoulders.

"The Godiva chocolate shop?"

"Oooh - no, but that would have been a good idea." She rewarded his guess with a kiss on his chest as her hands ran down his sides.

"Wetzel's Pretzels?"

Pam giggled. "Wetzel's Pretzels? Why do you automatically think I must have gone for food?"

Jim pulled the straps off her shoulders, depositing the bra on the cushion next to them. "I didn't," he grinned, more for the sight and feel as he placed his hands over her breasts than for their conversation. "I just like saying 'Wetzel's Pretzels'."

"You're such a dork," she laughed as her fingers found their way under the waistband of his jeans. "I was talking about Victoria's Secret."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh." She could feel his hand snaking around her waist to find the zipper of her skirt. "But don't get your hopes up. That place scared me."

"That's okay," he said, successfully lowering the skirt's zipper. "That place kind of scares me, too."

"I mean, when they refer to having bra 'technology' I have to wonder if I've been doing something wrong all these years." Jim slouched a little further down the cushions as Pam undid the button of his jeans and slowly unzipped them.

He pushed her up to a standing position while they both discarded their remaining clothes on the floor, then eagerly grabbed her back to him. "Trust me," he said as his lips trailed down her neck, "if you've been doing something wrong, I certainly can't tell."

She laughed in response but soon they found themselves less than interested in continuing the conversation. It was still amazing to her how quickly they could cross the line between silly and serious, and to her it only made it that much better. She couldn't help but remember how Roy was almost always too serious when they were having sex, unless he was drunk and then it was like she wasn't even there at all. With Jim she'd still be shaking with mirth when he'd touch her in a way that would literally take her breath away. She wasn't sure she'd ever quite get used to that, but she certainly wasn't complaining.

It felt a bit decadent to be making love on the couch in the middle of the afternoon, with the sunlight streaming through the windows. It was like they were flaunting the unwritten rules Pam had grown up with of what nice girls do and don't do. Pam thought briefly that maybe being a nice girl was seriously overrated.

When they'd finished Pam remained straddled across his lap, snuggling up under his chin as he placed the throw blanket over her back to keep them warm. She could hear the frantic beating of his heart, and knew hers was still pulsing as rapidly. His hands felt warm against her skin as he wrapped his arms around her, and she closed her eyes to better appreciate the sensations.

"I love you," he whispered into her hair, following it with a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I know," she sighed. "I love you, too. But I think we did things a bit backwards."

"Really? How so?"

"Doesn't the date part usually come before the sex part?"

She felt him chuckle. "Well, now we have eliminated that awkward 'will-we-or-won't-we-have-sex-later' tension that most dates experience."

"Good point. And I can guiltlessly order the most expensive thing on the menu seeing as I've already put out."

"Absolutely. Feel free to order an appetizer _and_ dessert."

"Wow - that good, huh?"

He hugged her tight. "Yeah, that good."

They stayed cocooned together for a little while, both hesitant to be the first to break the mood. "You didn't say if you bought anything from Victoria's Secret," he finally said.

"I did actually," she nodded against his chest. Her hand ran along his jaw, the roughness of stubble already starting to appear. She loved how it felt under her fingers. She'd have to make sure he didn't try and shave again for the evening. "But nothing complicated. I bought something from their 'Second Skin Satin' series."

"That sounds promising."

"Well, I base most of my fashion sense on what doesn't itch," she replied, to which Jim laughed. "Actually, Gilda Radner said that first, but I have to admit it's true for me too."

"Given that I've been told I have no fashion sense, that sounds good to me."

"Who said you didn't have fashion sense?"

"Who do you think?"

Pam sat up. "Kelly?"

Jim laughed. "Bingo. I'm not even sure what I was wearing but she clearly thought I was hopeless."

Pam wrapped her arms around his neck. "That's okay, I'll be seen with you."

"Thanks," he smiled, and the cycle of kissing began again. Regretfully, Jim finally pulled away. "Speaking of, I guess we should think about getting dressed and going out. We do have plans, you know."

"You have plans," Pam corrected. "All I have is a nice outfit and no idea where we are going."

He tapped her nose with his finger. "All in good time, Beesly."

Pam's original plan of being completely dressed before he saw her outfit unraveled almost immediately when she remembered that the dress had buttons up the back, not a zipper, and she was going to have to have Jim help her.

"It's just as well, really," Jim said as he sat on the bed and watched her take her new purchases out of their bags. "I had no intention of not peeking."

"Nice," Pam replied sarcastically, tossing a small shopping bag at him. "I think this is yours." She gathered up her dress and a pink Victoria's Secret bag. "I'm going to go get dressed in the bathroom."

"Good luck with those buttons," he teased as she shut the door on him, sticking her tongue out as she did so. Jim sat smiling at the closed door for a moment, then started to get ready himself. He opened the black bag she had thrown at him, and was suddenly very happy she hadn't looked inside. In the midst of his impatience to kiss her when they arrived home, he had forgotten that he'd slipped his gift for her in the bag with his ties. He changed into one of his newer suits, a black one he'd only worn a time or two. He stuck the gift for Pam in one of the inside jacket pockets and laid out the two ties on the bed, waiting for a decision on which one to wear. He was laying back on the bed when Pam opened the the bathroom door, and walked out backwards.

"Okay, don't look," she instructed him. "Just do up these buttons, please."

Jim moved to the end of the bed and put his hands on her hips, pulling her back to him. "Too late, I'm already looking," he joked. "And if the front looks half as good as the back..."

"Shush," Pam laughed.

He couldn't help but notice the satin undergarments she had been talking about. He wasn't surprised to see she'd chosen them in a light pink color. It suited her, he thought, and ran his hand down one of the straps, causing her to jump in surprise. 

"What are you doing?"

"Just admiring your fancy new clothes," he replied, unable to resist running his fingers across the satin band of her panties.

"Stop it," she said, sounding completely unconvincing.

He responded by tucking both hands into her open dress and resting them on her hips. "Yeah, you sound like you really want me to stop," he said, kissing her exposed shoulder.

"I'd like to get dressed so we could go eat," she pointed out, unable to resist leaning back into his chest. "I am getting hungry."

Jim sighed and began to button up her dress. "Oh, so you think we are going to dinner then?"

"I hope for your sake we are. I can get quite cranky when I'm hungry."

"Good to know," he said as his fastened the last button. He kissed her neck. "All done. Now you can help me pick out a tie."

She turned around and surveyed the two choices. "Are these new?"

"Yeah, I couldn't decide which one to choose." She smiled and looked him up and down. "New suit, too?"

"No - well, new to you. I bought a few new suits right after I moved here."

"Well, turn around," she teased. "Let me see how it fits you."

Jim felt himself blush slightly but complied. "Is it acceptable?" He asked.

"I see they have tailors in Stamford," she replied, her eyebrow raised appreciatively. She held up each tie against his white shirt. Both ties were silk, one a slick black-on-black stripe and the other dotted with small gold and white embroidered diamonds. "I can see why you bought both," she finally said, "but let's go with the black stripe."

Jim stood in front of the dresser mirror to put on his tie, all the while watching Pam as she opened the last shopping bag to get her shoes. He was more than a little surprised by her choice.

"Wow," he said, turning around. "Red shoes, Pam?"

"What?" She asked, slipping the thick-heeled retro-styled shoes on.

"I guess I just never pegged you as someone so bold."

Pam fastened the straps and stood up, twirling once. "Every woman should have at least one pair of red shoes."

"Says who?"

"Me." She grinned. "So now I have mine. Do they look okay?"

"They look more than okay. You look beautiful."

"You clean up pretty well yourself," she smiled. "Are we ready to go now?"

Aware that her gift was starting to burn a hole in pocket he smiled back. "Absolutely."

It was a pleasant drive along the smaller roads as they made their way to dinner. Most of the time Pam could see glimpses of the ocean, and she admitted that she was starting to see some advantages to living in there instead of Scranton.

"Well the cost of living here is a downside," Jim admitted. "So I think it's a decision that's going to take a few more drives near the ocean to decide."

"True," she admitted. "at least a few."

The sun was just starting to set in the October sky when Jim pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. Harbor Lights was a romantic, oceanfront restaurant known as much for its atmosphere as it was for its cuisine. Pam looked in awe at the stone building flanked with floor to ceiling windows facing the water.

"I hope I have chosen well," he said, taking her hand as they headed for the door.

"It certainly looks that way," she smiled. "Very nice, Jim."

When Jim had called with reservations earlier that day, he mentioned that it was a special dinner and was happy when they were lead to one of the cozier tables sitting right up against the front windows. "Just in time for the sunset, I think," he told Pam as she guided her to the seat with the best view.

"Oh, as if you had no idea," she teased.

"I might have checked," he grinned.

"It's perfect, Jim, " she replied, opening her menu. "I just hope I don't embarrass you."

"Why in the world would you embarrass me?"

"It's just so fancy here," she whispered, leaning towards him. "Heavens, did you see these prices? I'm not sure my table manners are up to a place like this."

"It's really not that fancy," he assured her. "And ignore the prices. This is my treat for you. For what it's worth, I'll probably embarrass you first anyway."

"Promise?"

Jim laughed loud enough to almost fulfill that request immediately. "Sure," he finally said, reaching across the table for her hand.

Despite their worries the meal progressed very smoothly, and halfway through the main course Jim started wondering when he should give Pam her present. He decided the point between ordering dessert and when it actually arrived would be good. The first problem with that plan, however, was that Pam started complaining about being full well before dessert was even mentioned.

"We can take the rest of your meal home with us," he suggested. "But you really should have some dessert."

"I have no idea where I'd put it," she protested.

"Then just sit and relax for a minute," Jim said. "We aren't in any rush."

"True," she smiled. "I have to admit I'm reluctant to leave anytime soon. It's probably the best dinner I've had in as long as I can remember." She tightened her fingers around his. "I won't have anywhere nearly as nice to take you when you come up to Scranton."

"Doesn't matter," he shrugged. "I won't be visiting for the restaurants." The waitress then approached their table, and Jim asked to see the dessert menu. They debated the merits of flourless chocolate cake over creme brulee, and in the end decided to share some white chocolate mousse. As soon as the waitress walked away with their order, Jim slipped his free hand into his jacket, ready to present his gift to Pam.

"Jim?" His head jerked up when his named was called, and the slim, dark-haired woman who had called his name approached their table. He left the box in his jacket, and placed a polite smile on his face.

"Hi, Karen," Jim said, standing up from his chair. "Didn't expect to run into anyone from work here in

Norwalk."

Karen waved her glass of white wine at him indicating he should sit back down. "It's just down the road, really," she smiled. "Plus, Josh likes the seafood here." She indicated behind her, where Jim saw his boss sitting at the bar. He had heard the rumors that Karen was dating him, despite the fact he was married with kids at home, but he didn't consider it any of his business. Now that he saw the evidence, he felt a little awkward.

"Right," Jim nodded. "Well I have to agree that the food here is excellent."

"We'll have to get together and come back up here together sometime," Karen replied, her tone almost overly friendly. She glanced over at Pam, and then back to Jim, clearly awaiting an introduction.

"Oh, Karen, this is Pam," Jim said. "Pam, this is Karen." The two women nodded at each other, neither certain of each other's relationship with Jim. "Karen works at the Stamford branch with me," Jim added.

"Oh right," Pam started to smile. "Her desk is the one behind yours, isn't it?"

"Jim's taken you to the office?" Karen asked. "That must have been fun."

Jim and Pam shared a brief look that put a flush on both of their faces, and Karen didn't miss it. "Are you Jim's sister?" She asked, fishing for the obvious. The fact that they were sitting there holding hands across the table made her question even more ridiculous. Jim wondered how many glasses of wine Karen had already had.

"Oh no," Pam laughed slightly. "We worked together in Scranton."

"Just in town for the weekend then?"

"A little longer than that, but I'm going back tomorrow."

"Oh, that's a shame," Karen smiled. "Well, I'll be sure to take good care of him after you leave."

Jim knitted his brow and flashed Pam a distressed look. Had this meeting occurred prior to their past week together, Pam would have been seriously worried about what was going on between Jim and his co-worker. But things had changed, and so had Pam. She smiled up at Karen.

"Jim's pretty good at looking after himself," Pam replied. "But I appreciate your offer." Karen was prevented from replying to Pam's rebuff by the arrival of dessert. She wished them a good evening and they watched her make her way back to Josh.

"Wow," Pam said softly, picking up her dessert spoon.

"Yeah," Jim replied. "I wish I could tell you what that was all about."

"Oh, I thought it was pretty obvious," Pam laughed. "Mmmm, this mousse is excellent."

Jim held his spoon, but had yet to taste the dessert. "Pam, I've never given her _any_ indication that I was interested in her."

Pam brushed thumb against his. "Jim, I didn't occur to me that you had. Now try this dessert before I eat it all."

He put down his spoon and stared at her for a moment. What could have been a awkward moment was completely swept under the table because Pam hadn't considered Karen a threat in any way. Not that she should have, but he marveled at just how much Pam had changed. She never seemed that strong before, or that confident. Maybe things had happened for a reason, despite how much it had hurt.

"Are you okay?" Pam asked, "You look a little dazed."

Jim grinned. "I'm okay. I was just thinking how wonderful you are."

"Shut up," Pam blushed. "Just taste this dessert. It was amazing."

"No, I've got something more important to do first." He finally pulled out the black velvet box and put it on the table in front of her. "I got you a little something to remember our week by."

Pam's spoon stopped in mid-scoop, her eyes growing big as she shot Jim a very surprised look. Jim realized that she might misinterpret what it was and spoke again quickly.

"It's not that," he said. "I'm not making any formal declarations tonight, so you can relax." He wasn't sure if her expression was relieved or disappointed. "I reserve the right to do so at a future time, though," he added.

"What is it?" Pam asked, still a bit hesitant to touch it.

"I think you are going to have to actually open it to find that out."

"You didn't need to buy me anything," she said as she gently picked the box up. "You've already spent too much money today."

"I know. But I wanted to."

Pam's hand was trembling as she opened the box. "Jim." She whispered. "You - this is too much." Inside the box a princess cut solitaire necklace sparkled up at her, the lighting in the restaurant perfectly capturing its brilliance.

"It's only a bit over a third of a carat, but I have the paperwork back at my apartment that assures you it's a very nice diamond."

"'Only' a third of a carat? I think I should slap you for sounding apologetic about that," she replied, her eyes never leaving the diamond. "It looks huge to me."

"Oh, and the clarity is VS1."

Pam wiped a tear that was threatening to fall. "I have no idea what that even means," she laughed. "But it's just gorgeous. Thank you."

"Would you like to put it on now?"

"Yes, definitely." She scooted her chair closer to his, and handed him the box while she removed her gold necklace. Despite his large hands Jim deftly hooked the lobster claw catch closed.

"Done," he said, running his hands gently down her shoulders. She turned to face him, the pendant resting over her collar.

"How does it look?"

"Perfect."

She smiled, then leaned over and gave him a kiss. Not just a quick peck, but a heartfelt thank you that in the back of her mind she hoped Karen was watching. "Are we ready to go?" she asked quietly. "I think you need to be thanked properly."

"I will get the check," Jim grinned.

Pam headed to the restroom as Jim took care of the bill, and she was standing at the sink, admiring her new necklace in the mirror when Karen walked in.

"Well, hello again," Karen said. It was clear she'd had a few more wine spritzers since she'd stopped at their table earlier.

"Hi," Pam smiled.

"Are you enjoying your evening?" Karen asked.

"Oh definitely. This place has been just wonderful."

"So how long have you and Jim being going out?"

_She doesn't waste any time, does she?_ Pam thought. "It's a complicated story," she finally said. "We've known each other for years, but have only recently started dating."

"I knew you must be new," Karen replied, ignoring over half of what Pam had just said. "He's never mentioned you before."

Pam shrugged, and reached for a paper towel to dry her hands. "We are both pretty private people. That doesn't surprise me."

"Yeah, Jim's quite a catch," Karen continued. "It's going to be hard for you to keep it going when you are so far apart."

"I'm not worried," Pam said lightly, tossing the paper towel away. She really wanted to get away from this woman, who seemed bent on making Pam jealous. All Karen really was doing was making Pam irritated. "He's been in love with me for years," she continued. " I don't see that changing anytime soon." Pam walked out of the bathroom before she said something that might embarrass Jim later.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jim asked, grabbing her arm as she strode through the lobby. She had been so lost in the thoughts of what she really wanted to say to Karen that she failed to notice him standing there.

"Oh, hey," she said, a smile finally reappearing. "It's nothing. I just ran into your fellow salesperson in the bathroom."

"I hope she didn't upset you."

"No," she replied, leaning into him as he put an arm around her waist. "She just felt the need to point out that you'd never mentioned me to her before, and how hard it was going to be for us to maintain a relationship being so far apart. You know, the usual girl-to-girl pep talk."

Jim sighed as he held the door open for her. "I'm sorry, Pam. I had no idea."

She laughed and snuggled closer as they made their way to the car. "It's fine. I guess I should expect such competition. You are quite the catch."

"Oh yeah, there's been a mile long line of girls hounding me. Did I forget to mention that to you?"

"Must have slipped your mind," she replied as she got into the car. When Jim got behind the steering wheel she continued her thought. "It's a shame you're going to have to break all their hearts."

Jim looked distressed. "All of them?"

Pam nodded. "All of them, Jim."

"Can't I even have just one back-up? You know, like an extra?"

"You mean like a spare you keep in your trunk? For emergencies?"

"Or the closet. I mean, you are going to be three hours away. Things happen."

Pam's laughter filled the car. "Just take me home, Halpert. You obviously need reminded that you don't have the time or the energy for any other woman but me."

Jim started the car. "I'm pretty sure truer words have never been spoken."


	21. Chapter 28

"I can't believe you almost forgot the ice," Pam giggled as they stepping inside Jim's apartment. "I mean it's only one of the most important ingredients."

Jim leaned back against the door to shut it. "I beg to differ, Pam." He lifted the slim brown bag up to her face. ''Clearly it would have been worse had I not remembered the coconut rum."

Pam smiled and took the bottle from his hand. "I stand corrected. That would have been a tragedy."

She leaned up against him, rewarding his memory with a kiss. Jim automatically put his arm around her, which caused her to jump back with a shriek, as he was also holding a five pound bag of ice with that hand.

"Oops," Jim grinned. "Sorry about that."

"Sure you are," Pam replied, walking toward the kitchen. "You can just keep your frozen mitts to yourself now."

Jim laughed, following close behind. "Yeah, we'll see about that.." He dropped the ice into the sink and grabbed her around the waist, effectively pinning her against the counter. "Are you really sure you want me to keep my hands to myself now?"

Pam ran her hands over his tie, and with her right hand began to loosen the knot. "Well, I do owe you a proper thank you for today," she purred. "so unless you'd rather go play some Madden..."

He absentmindedly fingered the buttons running down the back of her dress as he pulled her closer. "While I usually would be the first to suggest that nothing says 'Thanks for everything' like a good game of video football, I think I'm going to pass on that suggestion."

As he kissed her Pam ran her hands up around his collar, her fingers finding their favorite resting place amidst the curls that clung to the nape of his neck. Jim's hand followed the silky feel of her dress from her waist to her hips, and then around the soft curve of her behind. Without warning he picked her up and sat her down on the kitchen counter.

"Whoa," Pam responded, her arms tightening around his neck. "What's this about?"

"Just thought you'd like a better perspective as I mix our drinks."

"I'm not that short," she huffed good naturedly. He was about to step away to get the blender when she grabbed his coat lapel. "Hey, I'm not done with you yet."

"I should hope not," he mused, stepping closer. Now seated up on the counter Pam was practically at eye level with Jim, and he had to admit it made it more comfortable to kiss her in that position. The fact that he'd nudged one of his legs between hers made the whole situation more appealing to him as well. They kissed for a few minutes longer, and Jim was starting to think about undoing those buttons on her dress when Pam finally pushed him away.

"We better start making those drinks before the ice all melts," she reminded him.

"Right," Jim nodded, still more interested in her lips than the state of the ice cubes. "Okay." He rummaged through the cabinets, pulling out a blender and some brandy snifters while Pam took their recent purchases out of the bags.

"So you know how to make pina coladas, right?" Pam asked, handing him the tins of coconut milk.

"No, I thought you did."

"No, I told you I didn't." They looked at each other in disbelief then both began to smile.

"The internet," Pam said.

"Let's look it up," Jim said at the same time, offering her his hand to help her off the counter. "So how did you know what to buy then?"

Pam sat down at Jim's computer. "I just figured it was obvious. I just don't know the proper proportions."

They compared a few mixology sites, and were pleased to see that indeed they hadn't forgotten anything important. Pam wrote down a few things, then pressed the post-it note to Jim's shirt. "Okay, you go to it," she smiled.

"Me?" He laughed as he shed his jacket and threw it on the chair. "I thought you were going to run the show."

"I trust you," she smiled, finishing the job of removing his tie that she had started earlier. "I'll be your beautiful assistant."

"Alrighty then," he replied, rolling up his sleeves as they walked back into the kitchen. "But first we have to taste the rum."

A single shot turned into two, and then three as the two of them attempted to get the measurements right for the drinks. It might have helped had Jim actually owned a set of measuring cups.

"How do you not own a set?" Pam asked between giggles.

"I thought I had some," Jim relied, "I must have left them with Mark."

"And you just noticed now?"

"I'm afraid I haven't been doing much in the way of measured cooking, Pam. It's been a lot of takeaway and frozen pizza."

Pam rubbed her hand over his back. "Aw, poor Jim. Well, I will send you a new set of measuring cups on Monday, okay?"

Jim grinned despite her sarcasm. "Oh would you really? Because I don't know how I'll survive if I don't have a set." He switched off the blender and poured their first attempt in the snifters. "Here, try this."

"Smells delicious," Pam replied. She took a taste and her eyes widened. "Wow. I think you went a little heavy on the coconut rum in this batch."

"I don't know, I think it tastes good."

"Well, I can taste the rum, and that's saying a lot given that I'm already feeling the rum shots we had. I don't see me getting through many of these things."

"Always the lightweight, huh, Beesly?" Jim had to admit that the rum shots were sending a warm feeling through his body. Not quite buzzed yet, but certainly aware of how happy he was to be standing there with the woman he loved. Aware of how beautiful she was, and how much he wanted her.

"There are benefits to not needing a lot of alcohol," she replied, taking another sip of her drink.

"Saves money," Jim nodded.

"And my liver thanks me," she added.

"Well, it's always good to have a grateful liver," Jim replied. He put his drink down on the counter and cupped Pam's face in his hands. "You look amazing," he said softly.

"Wow. Um, okay," Pam said, putting her drink down behind her. "Thanks."

"You sound surprised," he smiled as he kissed her.

"Well, I usually don't hear such compliments right after comments on my internal organs."

Jim kissed her again. "Yeah, I guess that was a little bit of a non-sequitur."

"Just a little," she grinned, kissing him back. "But I can deal with it."

They continued to stand in the kitchen kissing, their drinks melting unnoticed, until Pam took a step back. "Can we go sit down, or at least let me take my shoes off? These heels are starting to hurt."

Jim looked down as she kicked off her one shoe. "I didn't even notice you were wearing pantyhose," he commented.

"I'm not really," she replied, pulling off her other shoe. "They are thigh high stockings."

Jim eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline. "Thigh high stockings? And you are just telling me this now?"

"Yeah," she grinned. "Does it matter?"

Jim took a drink of his cocktail. "Well, it depends what you mean by 'matter'. I mean, I probably wouldn't have been half as coherent tonight had I known."

Pam laughed. "I had no idea you had a thing for them."

Jim tried to shrug it off. "I wouldn't exactly call it a thing," he said carelessly. "I just think they are interesting."

"Interesting?" Pam raised an eyebrow. "The fact that the idea of me wearing them would leave you incoherent makes them way more than interesting." She slid her fingers through his belt loops and tugged him toward her. "Now tell me what you like about them."

Jim felt himself flush, equal parts embarrassment and excitement. They'd shared a great deal over this past week, but confessing to fantasies he'd had about her - well that was new territory. He finished his drink before saying anything. He cleared his throat, aware that she was still waiting for an answer.

"Well, it's possible that I have imagined you wearing them."

"Go on." Pam smiled. "And why were you doing that?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "Give me a break, will you? How long did I sit across the office from you, watching you every day? Do you think I never thought about what I'd rather be doing than just talking to you?"

"I have wondered about that," she replied. "If it makes you feel any better you weren't the only one doing that."

"Now you tell me," he replied.

"But go on - what's so special about thigh high stockings?"

"Well, they're so much more convenient, aren't they?"

"In what way?" She asked, the sparkle in her eye telling him she already knew what he meant, but was purposely egging him on. He was quickly losing any sense of embarrassment, as his desire for her was eclipsing it.

"You can stay practically dressed and still have sex, can't you?" Jim was pressing her back against the counter, and he knew she could feel he was already aroused.

"Is that what you fantasied about?" She asked, her voice suddenly huskier. Her hands were now on his chest, and she could feel his heart beating. Beating nearly as fast as she felt hers pounding. "You and I having sex in the office?"

"Sometimes," he answered, aware that his voice was sounding strange to his ears, almost gravelly. "Sometimes it was just the idea of being able to touch you. To pleasure you."

"Oh," she replied, feeling a bit breathless. She licked her lips. "Like how?"

Jim couldn't resist kissing her, feeling the electricity running through him as he did so. "Do you want me to tell you one of my fantasies?" He whispered against her ear as he continued kissing her cheek and neck.

"No," she replied. She turned her head to look into his eyes. "I want you to show me."

"Okay," he said, his hands brushing up into her hair, "But let's create the scene a little more realistically. Can I take your hair down?"

"Sure," she replied, reaching up to help him take out the bobby pins.

'It's okay, I can do it," he said, pushing her hands away.

"You're stalling," she teased.

"No, I'm not," he said, his tone serious. "I just want to do this."

She brought her hands back to his chest, and closed her eyes. "Knock yourself out." She heard the sound of the metal bobby pins clicking on the formica counter as he carefully pulled each out of her bun. She sighed in pleasure as she felt his fingers running along her scalp, fluffing out the sleekly pulled back hair, and carefully undoing the braid that had encompassed the bun. Soon her hair was down around her shoulders.

"There," Jim said. "That's the Pam I know."

She opened her eyes. "I knew you didn't like that style," she smiled.

"I did," he insisted, his fingers still weaving through the ends of her curls. "I really did. But I'm a big fan of everyday Pam, too." He kissed her gently on the lips. "This is the Pam I fantasize about."

"Everyday Pam doesn't wear thigh high stockings," she reminded him, kissing him back.

Jim chuckled. "Maybe not. But I'm allowed a few liberties."

"So tell me your fantasy," she prompted him softly. "Where are we?"

"Well, in Scranton, obviously," he began. "There are a few different scenarios."

"Tell me your favorite."

"They're all pretty good, I mean, they _are_ my fantasies."

"You're stalling again."

"I'm not - I'm just telling you the truth."

Pam rubbed her hands over his chest. "Then pick one."

Jim closed his eyes for a moment. "Okay," he finally said, running his hands along her shoulders. "We are in the conference room, having been corralled into another exciting Michael meeting."

Pam giggled. "Michael's not part of this fantasy, is he?"

"God no," Jim said quickly. "Just listen, okay?"

"Okay, sorry."

"So we've been trapped in the meeting for a while - too long, of course - and we're sitting next to each other." He gently stroked the sides of her neck, then followed his thumbs with his lips. Pam leaned her head back in encouragement.

"You've crossed your legs and begin to brush your foot against my leg. We're seated at the conference table so no one can see what you are doing."

"I can picture that," she said softly.

"Good. I put my hand under the table and rest it on your knee, giving you a look that asks you to stop it because the way you're stroking my leg with yours is already making me hard." His kisses continue along her throat, to her chin and jaw and finally her lips, as his hands move down along her sides.

"And do I stop?"

"You do, but that's because you've put your hand over mine and move it up your thigh." Jim's hands move down past her waist, his fingers curling under the hem of her dress. "That's when I discover your stockings."

Pam couldn't help but giggle despite the fact she was finding this fantasy totally thrilling. "I like how you think," she smiled as she kissed him, her lips parting to deepen her kiss. It took a few minutes for Jim to find the breath to continue.

"When the meeting finally breaks up, I keep my hand on your leg so you know not to get up and leave yet. Once everyone else has filed out, we stand up and head toward the door." Jim pulls her away from the counter, and steers her slowly toward the wall at the far side of the kitchen. "When we get towards the door and I close it and push you up against the wall."

He follows his words by pushing her against the kitchen wall, his mouth seeking hers yet again as his hands are stroking her thighs over the skirt of her dress.

"And then what?" she asks, feeling her belly filling with a warmth that was not entirely due to the rum.

"Shh," he hushed her between kisses. "I don't think we need any narration from this point."

"Do you lock the door?" She couldn't help but ask.

He pulled back to look at her, the slightest glimpse of amusement evident at her question. "No," he replied. "That's part of the fun."

His one hand then found the curve of her breast while the other traveled back under the hem of her dress, his fingers stopping to stroke the satiny band of material at the top of her stockings. Pam felt a little lightheaded by all the attention and locked her hands behind his neck to make sure she didn't fall. She felt his hand move higher and she couldn't help but part her legs slightly, an involuntary shiver going through her body. She already knew she'd never be able to walk into that conference room again without thinking of this moment.

For his part Jim had already concluded that the reality was hotter than any fantasy he'd ever imagined. Her satin panties felt smooth under his fingers, and his reaction to the fact that they were already damp was to kiss her deeper, his free arm going around her waist to steady her as tasted the rum and the pineapple in her mouth.

She moaned as his hand pushed past her panties and began to stroke her. She grasped his shoulders and moved against his hand, and Jim wondered if he wouldn't come before she did, simply because he was so turned on by her obvious pleasure.

Her hand snaked down to his belt, and began to stroke his obvious bulge, but he stepped back. "Don't," he said. "This isn't about me."

She looked deep into his eyes. "Yes it is," she said, her hand curling around the waistband of his trousers. "This is all about you. Only you."

"Soon," was all he replied, and indeed it didn't take much more for Pam to shudder in climax. He held her close against him as she finished, and had to smile when he felt her making a move to undo his belt again. He didn't resist this time, and when she began to stroke him again through his pants he closed his eyes and leaned into her hand, the sensation making his legs feel weak. "Maybe we need to rethink this whole standing up thing," he said softly. "I think the rum's affecting my sense of balance."

Pam's laughter bubbled up even as she continued to stroke him in earnest. "The rum, huh?"

Jim pulled her away from the kitchen wall. "Come on," he encouraged, "Let get more comfortable."

"You're young and healthy," Pam cajoled as she followed him. "You can't manage to carry on standing up for just a little while longer?"

Jim pushed the coffee table aside and threw all the couch cushions onto the floor, then pulled her down to join him. "I don't think you truly appreciate the effect you have on me," he finally replied, as they both reclined on the cushions facing each other.

"Is that so?" She asked, her hand pulling his shirt out from his waistband.

"Yeah, it is." He dragged her hand lower as he moved closer. "I would much rather be in a position to enjoy it than be in a position that I have to concentrate on maintaining."

Pam leaned over him and began to unbutton his shirt. "Wow, I had no idea how boring you are, Jim."

His arms went around her as he began in unbutton her dress. "Yeah, I was kind of hoping my brilliant wit and charm would blind you to that sad fact."

"Well yeah, maybe in the short term," she remarked, feeling the need to kiss his chest as she undid each button. "But how are you going to be able to sustain my interest in the long run?"

Jim had undone all her buttons so he sat up, his hands tugging the dress down to her waist. "I guess I'm just going to have to rely on a great deal of coconut rum," he mused, kissing her now bare shoulder.

"Good plan," she laughed, pulling herself closer to him. Their eyes met and Pam brushed her hand against his jaw, rough with the evening's stubble. "Of course I love you, you know, " she added, "So that forgives a multitude of sins."

"Even the sin of boring sex?"

"I never said the sex was boring," she grinned. "I just said you were."

"Nice, thank you," he laughed, pulling his shirt off and tossing in the direction of the couch. "Good to know we cleared that up." He pushed her back onto the cushions, shimmying her dress down her hips as he did so. Her dress soon headed in the direction his shirt had taken, and he rested his head in his hand as he took in the view of her in the satin undergarments and stockings.

"So are those pants ever going to come off?" She asked, sounding slightly exasperated.

"Only if you know the magic word," he replied.

"Flutternufter?"

Jim laughed. "That's not even a word!"

"Maybe that's why it's the magic word."

Jim rolled his eyes. "No. That's not the word."

"Fahrvergnügen."

"Come on, that's a Volkswagen commercial. Last chance, Pam."

"Last chance? For what?"

"Last chance to guess the magic word."

"And if I don't?"

"Then I guess the pants are staying on."

Pam rolled away from him, giggling. "That sounds more like your misfortune than mine."

Jim grabbed her by the waist, spooning up behind her. "Can you be sure of that?"

"I think I need another pina colada."

"Okay, but then you have to give your last guess." Jim jumped up and disappeared into the kitchen. Pam sat up as he came in with one of their glasses and the rest of the cocktail in the blender pitcher.

"One glass?"

"There's not that much left," Jim explained, sitting down in front of her. "You have a problem with sharing?"

"No," she smiled, "Of course not." She watched as he filled the glass and handed it to her. "Thanks." She took a long sip, then offered the glass back. Jim placed it on the coffee table, next to the pitcher.

"So what's the final guess, Beesly?"

She tilted her head and just gazed at him. Had anyone told her two weeks ago that she's be in this position, in this state of dress, and she would have though them insane. But here she was, with everything she ever wanted right in front of her. She sat up on her knees and moved closer.

"Please," she said, putting her arms around his neck. "The magic word is please."


	22. Chapter 29

Pam had no idea what movie had been playing when she finally fell asleep, but it was now three twenty-four in the wee hours of the morning and the living room was dark but for the moonlight shining in through the still open window blinds. She was lying on her back against the bed of pillows and comforters Jim had constructed, and he was sleeping nestled up against her left side as if he'd been molded to do just that very thing. He felt warm and comfortable, and with his arm draped possessively over her stomach, she felt wanted. And safe. And like she never wanted to move from that position ever. She never felt more like she was home than in that moment.

She knew however that when the sun came up things would be changing. She literally walked away from her life nearly a week ago. Used up sick days she didn't even have because she had to be with him, had to follow him to Philadelphia and then to Stamford. When she'd called her mother that Wednesday morning from Philly, Joanna Beesly had told her not to worry - that she'd take care of Pam's mail, her plants, even her boss. As usual, Pam's mom came to her rescue. The fact that she said she was thrilled that Pam was finally going after what she wanted was just an added benefit.

Pam snuggled closer to Jim, kissing his cheek and trying to memorize the feeling of being there next to him. She imagined that it was just another night in a long string of nights they'd shared and ones that would surely come to pass. She didn't want to make a big deal about going home. She didn't want to be the clingy girlfriend. But the truth was that deep down, she was afraid it couldn't stay this good. That this week had been a fluke, a lovely dream that wouldn't hold up against the reality of being part more than they could be together.

Pam could barely believe how things had changed so quickly. Had it been too quickly? Were they really going to be that lucky and manage to keep what they'd found when she went back to Scranton and he stayed behind in Stamford? She thought about Jim's comments about her moving here, living with him, starting a life together in Connecticut. Was she a fool not to jump at that chance? Scranton had always been home for her; would she be happy moving here? She didn't know if it was fear that stopped her, or something else – maybe the feeling deep down that Stamford wasn't where they were meant to be. Maybe if they could get through a little bit a separation now, they'd find themselves together somewhere else – be it back in Scranton or somewhere else entirely. But when and where and how? She didn't have answers for any of those questions, but she couldn't get them out of her mind.

Pam closed her eyes. The sound of Jim's rhythmic breathing, combined with the feel of his warm breath on her cheek, soothed her, and she found herself slowly drifting back to sleep.

"Hey."

The deep, raspy sound of Jim's voice shook Pam out of her reverie. "Hey," she replied.

"What are you doing?"

"Drinking tea." Pam had woken up about a half-hour earlier, and now sat next to him cross-legged on the living room floor, a warm mug cradled in her hands.

"What time is it?"

"I think it's a little after seven."

Jim groaned. "What are you doing awake?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"So you're sitting there watching me sleep?"

"And drinking tea."

"Okay." Jim's lips curled up in to a teasing smile. "That's not creepy at all."

"What can I say," she shrugged. "You bring out the creepy in me."

"Nice." Jim threw off his blanket and stood up. "I'll be right back."

When Jim returned, he sat down on the floor next to her, grabbing a comforter to wrap around his shoulders. He peered at her. "You're wearing my sweatshirt," he observed.

Pam looked down at the grey sweatshirt with the faded Sixers logo she'd found hanging off the back of the bathroom door. "I was cold." She looked up. "Do you want it back?"

"No," he said casually. "Just observing."

"Well, you are nothing if not observant."

Jim chuckled. "Yeah, right. My powers of observation are legendary. That's why the last year or so of my life as been such a mess."

Pam put her now empty mug down. "What does that mean?"

Jim stretched back out on the floor. "Nothing. I just think I've taken too many things at face value in the past. Didn't question things I should have."

"Like what?"

Jim didn't reply at first, but instead just kept his eyes fastened to hers. "Like believing you when you said I'd misinterpreted our friendship."

Pam dropped her gaze guiltily. "Oh."

"I think I knew it wasn't true even as I heard you say it, but I let it go."

"I was wrong to say that," she replied softly, her eyes focused on her hands clasped in her lap.

"You were," he admitted, watching surprise light up Pam's face. "But I was wrong to let you get away with it."

She nodded slightly, and when Jim extended his hand toward her, she grasped it firmly and eagerly. He pulled her down to him, kissing her neck as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Well you aren't misinterpreting anything now," she murmured, kissing him back.

"Good to know," he chuckled, his hand pushing up under the hem of the oversized sweatshirt. "But right now I wouldn't care if I was."

Pam laughed. "Wow. I hadn't pegged you as an indiscriminate ravisher of women."

"Not indiscriminate," he replied, his lips moving along her jaw. "Just you."

"Oh, well okay then."

"I thought you'd say that."

Between kisses and snippets of silly conversation, garments discarded and blankets pulled close afterwards for moments of snuggled sleep, it was nearly ten o'clock before either of them thought about moving from the living room floor.

"Do you want to go get some breakfast?" Jim asked, propping himself up on his elbow as he brushed some hair from her eyes.

She shook her head. "Not really."

"It doesn't technically have to be breakfast, you know. There's a place around the corner that serves anything you could want all day long."

She shook her head. "I'm really not hungry, Jim."

Jim ran his hand through his own hair distractedly, then let his arm fall back down to his side. "Yeah, me neither."

"I'm sorry," she sighed, reaching up to stroke his cheek. "I don't think I'm up to dealing with other people right now. I just want to stay here with you."

Jim covered her hand with his, then pressed a kiss into her palm. "Trust me, I know the feeling."

He leaned down to kiss her when an audible growl emanated from the direction of his stomach.

"I think your stomach is calling you a liar," Pam giggled. "Shall we see what we have left in the kitchen before you die of hunger?"

Tea and coffee were prepared as Jim scavenged the refrigerator. "We never did make the cookies I promised," he said as he pulled out eggs and butter.

"Maybe next time," Pam sighed.

"Well, we've got enough eggs for breakfast and my world famous chocolate chip cookies," Jim announced. "So I don't see why we can't make them now."

"That's a bit of a project, don't you think?"

"Why, do you have somewhere to be?" Their eyes met at Jim's question, and Pam looked away guiltily.

"Unfortunately I do," she said quietly. She turned her attention to pouring the hot water into her mug. When she put the kettle down Jim walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"We have more than enough time to do a little baking before you go. It's only a three hour drive to Scranton." Jim kissed her gently below her right ear. "Unless of course you are eager to get out of here."

Pam had meant to smack his arm in protest, but instead found herself hugging him closer instead. "Of course I'm not," she scolded. She was fighting the urge to cry, though her eyes were already misting up. She knew if she gave in to tears now, they'd never turn off. "I hope you plan to make them with extra chocolate chips."

"Please, Beesly." He tried to sound offended. "Is there any other way?" He kissed her again and nudged her towards the kitchen table. "You sit down and I'll make breakfast."

Pam was happy to sit back and watch him. Dressed merely in dark blue patterned boxers and a grey t-shirt he'd discovered on the side of the couch as they were getting up, Pam unabashedly followed his every move. She couldn't help but remember the first time she'd ever seen him in shorts – that afternoon basketball game at the warehouse. She recognized now that she was feeling the same things the sight of him stirred in her all that time ago. If she'd only been self-aware enough to know that then, to have figured out what it all had really meant, she thought sadly. So much could have been different. Still, she was determined to not lose another moment, and enjoyed watching the shift of muscles under his shirt as he reached for bowls and plates, and tried not to grin too appreciatively as he bent down to grab the frying pan from under the counter. Her eye followed the curve of his ass down the length of his thigh, and she felt a flutter at the memory of how it felt to be pressed against him.

"Hello?" Jim's voice made her jump. "Earth to Pam?"

"I'm sorry," she hid her blush behind her mug as she took a quick sip. "What?"

"You're staring at me." He was standing at the stove, the spatula raised accusingly in one hand.

"No, I'm not." she lied ineffectually, her giggle giving her away.

"Right." His grin only broadened. "Then what did I just ask you?"

"Mmmm, I'm afraid I didn't hear you. I must have been lost in thought."

"I'm almost afraid to ask what you were thinking about given the leer you were giving me."

Pam's blush only deepened. "Like you'd really mind anyway."

"Never said I did. Just don't try to deny it. My allure is _un_deniable."

"Oh, shut up," she rolled her eyes. "What were you asking me anyway?"

Jim made a confused face. "You know, you completely made me forget with all that objectifying you were doing."

Pam laughed. "You're a dork. Maybe it had something to do with breakfast?"

He face brightened. "Oh, yeah – do you want cheese in your scrambled eggs?"

"That was it? All that fuss to over such an obvious question?"

"How is it an obvious question?"

"Jim, it's cheese. For me, that's a given. I never say no to cheese."

"I didn't know that," Jim replied in mock defense.

"Geez," Pam scoffed. "You knew mixed berries but never picked up on my cheese obsession?"

"Okay, I hear you," Jim complained with a smirk. "I'll make sure it goes on the list of things I'll never forget again."

"See that you do," she said sternly. "That's the sort of thing that will cost you boyfriend points."

Jim smiled slightly and turned back toward the stove, grating cheese over the cooking eggs. "Boyfriend points?" He commented after a brief silence. "So that's how it is then, hmm?"

Pam stood up and put her empty mug in the sink. "That's how what is?"

"You said the other day you didn't want to put a label on things between us. Have you changed your mind?"

"Hmm," she mused, "I guess I meant at the time that I didn't want to force us into expectations until we saw where this was going."

"Or you were just talking crap," he teased.

"Or I was just talking crap," she laughed lightly. "Boyfriend works for me, though." She glanced up at him, aware of how ludicrous it was to feel this nervous at making such a statement given all that had passed between them. Jim stepped over and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead.

"Works for me too," he agreed. "Now sit down because breakfast is served."

Pam had to admit that for such a simple meal it really had tasted delicious, and told Jim so as she moved to clean up their plates.

"You sound like you can't believe I can cook," he replied. "Just because I didn't have any food in the house doesn't mean I never do. Or that I don't know what to do with it."

"It's not that I don't believe it," Pam protested. "It just never occurred to me. When would I have discovered that bit of information?"

Jim turned her to face him as they stood at the sink, his arms wrapping around her. "Good point," he acknowledged. "I think we both are going to have to start keeping notes on all the new things we're now in a position to discover."

"Maybe we could start a daily email exchange - a little 'what you don't know about me' quiz," Pam grinned.

"Look at you, always with the games," he teased.

"It was just an idea."

"And not a bad one, so don't get all defensive," Jim kissed her temple. "Maybe we can even keep all these random tidbits sorted on a web page for future reference. Sort of like our own personal version of Wikipedia."

"Just please don't ever mention it to Michael," Pam groaned. "Apparently Wikipedia is his new thing."

"His new _thing_?"

"Oh, he can barely go a day anymore without making some reference to something he's read there. It scares me how much faith he puts into it – you'd think he was quoting the bible."

"That sounds like the basis of a wonderful future prank," Jim mused, his eyes dancing. "Can I count you in?"

"Do you really even need to ask, Jim? I mean honestly."

"You're right. I'm sorry. The first thing I'll put in our new wikipedia is that you can always be counted upon to work a prank."

"Thank you," she smiled. "I would hate to think you've found a new partner in Stamford."

"Not in the least bit likely," he replied, pulling her into a hug. "Now let me impress you with more of my culinary skills."

Breakfast dishes were set aside as Pam helped Jim dig out the required ingredients and mixing bowls. Pam worried his lack of proper measuring cups would once again haunt them, but Jim didn't even blink. "It's an art, Pam. I know how much I need to use."

"Actually, cooking might be an art," she corrected him, "but baking is a science. You need to get the balance right."

"Just trust me, okay?" He flashed her a smile that would have caused her to believe anything he asked of her. "They're going to be wonderful."

Maybe it was the increase of sugar in both their bloodstreams – after all neither of them could resist nibbling at the chocolate chips as the dough was being made. But before long a sense of silliness descended on them as bits of flour found its way onto their clothing, in their hair, and streaked across their faces. Jim had finished mixing in the walnuts and chocolate chips when he took the wooden spoon he was holding and traced it lightly down the side of Pam's face, a trail of sweet dough left behind.

"Hey!" Pam complained. "What the hell are you doing?" She reached for the spoon but his longer arms kept it easily out of reach. So instead she used a finger to scoop a bit of cookie dough from the mixing bowl and dab it directly on his nose.

"Oh, now who's causing trouble?" Jim replied.

"Hey, it was too easy a target," she grinned wickedly.

Jim's eyes widened. "You better not be implying what I think you are."

"And what would I be implying?"

"You are making a thinly veiled crack about the size of my nose."

"Not necessarily," Pam giggled. "I'm just saying it was impossible to miss."

Jim gasped in fake outrage. "Okay, you're dead." He wiped the cookie dough off his nose with his finger and pushed it toward her face. He attempted to place it on her nose, but this time Pam was ready and she grabbed his hand. He was still stronger than she was and he continued to bring the dough perilously close. Their eyes met, amused hazel staring down competitive hazel, when suddenly Pam changed tactics. She brought his finger down to her mouth, where she captured it with her lips. She immediately and deliberately began to lick and suck the cookie dough off. The atmosphere between them changed immediately.

Jim closed his eyes briefly as he felt her tongue against his finger. When he opened them again he leaned over and ever so slowly began to lick the remaining cookie dough from the side of her face. When he was done he moved his hand away from her mouth and began kissing her, the cookies all but forgotten.

The sound of beeping startled them apart. "The oven's finished preheating," Jim explained sheepishly.

"I guess we should put the cookies in then," Pam replied, putting her hand along the side of the kitchen to counter the dizziness his kisses had caused.

"Yeah, cookies," Jim stepped back, grinning. "I knew we were doing something."

He produced two flat baking sheets with a proud flourish, and they spent the next moments dropping rather large spoonfuls of the mixture onto them. Pam warned Jim that he was spacing them too close together, and it would end up being one large sheet of cookie, but he pleasantly ignored her.

"And really, what would be so wrong about that?"

"That's just not how you are supposed to do it," she replied, trying to maintain the voice of reason.

"They're cookies," he insisted, scraping the last bit of dough from the bowl and eating it. "There is no _supposed to_ with cookies."

"No?" Pam laughed. "Why not?"

Jim placed the first sheet in the oven and set the kitchen timer. "Beesly," he said, in a voice that sounded very much like someone patiently explaining something obvious for more than the first time. "Cookies just are."

Pam chortled. "So cookies are what? Zen?"

"Exactly." He walked toward her and put his hands on her waist. "Cookies are a philosophy unto themselves. Don't question the cookies."

Pam grinned up at him. "You're insane." She noticed that he had slowly been pushing her backwards when the kitchen table bumped up against the back of her thighs. Jim lifted her up slightly and sat her down on the edge of the table. "What are you doing?"

"We've got to do something with the time while the cookies bake," he murmured, his lips already moving down her throat. He began tugging on the Sixers sweatshirt she was still wearing.

She covered his hands with hers to stop the progression of the shirt's removal. "It only takes them fifteen minutes to bake, Jim," she reminded him.

"Fifteen to eighteen per sheet," he corrected her. "And only one sheet fits in the oven at a time."

"So what – you're going to break halfway through to switch them?"

"I'll manage," he assured her. He gave up taking off her shirt and instead let his hands slip underneath it to roam against her skin as he continued to kiss her neck and shoulder. She could feel him smile when he discovered that she was was wearing nothing but panties under the sweatshirt. Jim began to gently push her back, but she protested, albeit very weakly.

"This table is not going to support both of us," she told him. "It's not even really a table, it's a dinette!"

"It doesn't have to support both of us," he corrected her. "I'm fine right where I'm at."

"This is where you eat," she replied, trying to find another excuse. "Do you really think we should be doing this here?"

"I eat at my desk at work and, correct me if I'm wrong, but you didn't have any problem at all with that location," he teased.

"Well, that's different," she said. "I wanted you to have a reason to think of me the next time you sat there."

"I assure you, I would be doing that anyway." Jim laughed. "And besides, does that logic mean you don't want me to be thinking of you when I sit here?"

Pam shook her head, her laughter smothered as she buried her face in his shoulder. "Okay, okay. You win. I surrender."

"Now that's more like it," he said, his focus shifting back to the removal of the oversized sweatshirt.

They were sitting back on the living room floor, a plate of still-warm, oversized chocolate chip cookies between them. Pam stole a sip of milk from Jim's mug while he chewed thoughtfully. "So was I right?" He asked as she put the mug back down on the floor.

"Right about what?"

"About everything," he gloated. "For a start, you have to admit the cookies turned out perfectly."

Pam nodded. "I have to concede you do make a wonderful chocolate chip cookie." She then smiled mischievously. "Although after this morning I don't think I'll ever associate baking with Christmas at my grandmother's again."

"Which brings me to my next correct prediction: the kitchen table didn't collapse."

"Not from lack of the trying," she replied, shaking her head. "I just hope your mother never eats at that table."

"Please," Jim shook his head. "It's a little too late for the fake modesty bit, don't you think? The whole world knows what a wild woman you are now."

"The whole world? That seems a bit unlikely."

Jim finished off the cookie in his hand. "Well, I know anyway. Seems like the world would know by association."

"They don't." She tried to sound serious and failed miserably. "I would appreciate if you could keep that your little secret."

He leaned over and kissed her, the taste of chocolate still on his lips. "Oh, I can't make any promises," he replied lightly. "Information like this is just so hard to keep to myself."

The ringing of Jim's phone interrupted Pam's response and she watched him leap up and head into the kitchen to answer it. The cord was long enough that Jim wandered back into the doorway to look at her as he talked.

"Yes, we are both still here, Jon," Jim said, raising his eyebrows dramatically at Pam.

Pam looked down at the carpet, and felt the warmth of their morning together just slip away. She'd forgotten that Jonathan was arriving today, and the thought of it was the equivalent of the whole world crashing in and reminding her of how things really were. That she didn't live here with Jim. That she lived two hours away and that life needed her to go back. It reminded her that it was best she pack her stuff up and get out of here before he arrived. It was going to be hard enough to leave with just Jim there. Add his brother to the mix and she would be seriously tempted to never go back to Scranton. Not that she liked Jonathan in that way – there was no one who'd ever come close to Jim in her eyes. But he was simply so much like his brother in some ways that being with both made her feel alive in a way she never thought she could be. It was like a guilty pleasure to be in their company; as if she was having almost too much fun.

She half-listened to Jim's conversation as she stood up and began tidying the living room. She folded up the blankets and stacked them neatly in the corner of the room, adding the pillows one by one onto the pile. She put all the dishes and cups in the center of the coffee table, and she folded the few items of clothes she found against the back of the chair. She sat and stared glumly at her clasped hands as she waited for Jim to come back.

"Jonathan's about to get on the road," Jim announced as he bounded back into the living room. "He thought we – hey, what's the matter?" He had taken in the the complete transformation of the room and the way Pam sat slouched on the couch.

Pam stood up at his question. "I picked up everything I knew what to do with," she explained. "I think it's time I get going."

Jim stared at her, as if he simply didn't comprehend her words. "Jon thought we could get an early dinner when he gets here."

Pam shook her head, and picked up her clothes off the chair. "I really need to leave," she said, and headed down the hall to Jim's bedroom.

Jim recovered from his stupor quickly and followed her. He watched as she pulled her overnight bag onto his bed. He hadn't really noticed until then that her things were already on nearly every surface of his room, as well as on the counter in the bathroom. In a few short days she'd practically moved in, and it had been so seamless. Now as he watched her pick up her clothes, her toothbrush, her jewelry, it all seemed so final. Like she was breaking up with him instead of just going back home. Her sudden emotional change made it feel that way to Jim as well.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked tentatively. "You seem upset."

"No, you didn't do anything wrong," she replied, though she didn't look up as she answered. "I just need to be getting back to Scranton."

"I wasn't expecting you to leave so early, you know." Jim's voice was tinged with the anxiety he felt forming knot-like in his stomach. "It's only a three hour drive, and it's barely after noon now."

"Yeah, but I really should though. There's so much I sorta just let go of this past week. I got in the car and drove away without thinking."

"I know." Jim did not like where this conversation was heading, but felt helpless to turn it in another direction. "Do you regret doing that?"

Pam finally looked up at him. "No, of course I don't," she said softly. "But I do have to go back."

"But why right this moment? It seemed like leaving was the farthest thing from your mind before Jonathan called."

Pam was certain that she wouldn't be able to explain anything without breaking down into tears, so she simply shrugged and continued to pack her things, unable to meet his gaze another time. She felt incredibly guilty because she knew she was being unfair to Jim, but her focus was on getting out of their without embarrassing herself. Everything would be fine if she could keep it together until she got out of the apartment. Jim continued to watch her, the silence between them growing more and more deafening until he finally sighed in frustration and walked out of the room. Pam went into the bathroom and closed the door, sobbing quietly into a bath towel so she wouldn't be heard.

Ten minutes had passed before Pam felt her eyes had lost enough puffy redness that should could come out of the bathroom without looking like she'd been crying. She half expected to find Jim waiting for her when she opened the door, but the bedroom was empty. She changed into her own clothes, carefully placing the Sixers sweatshirt on the pillow she'd slept on at the head of Jim's bed. She took a quick look around to make sure she hadn't left anything, then zipped up her overnight bag and headed into the hallway.

Jim was not waiting for her in the hallway, nor was he in the kitchen. She walked into the living room and found him lying on the couch, his eyes focused on the television as he clicked aimlessly through the channels. She knew he was aware of her presence, even though he didn't say anything or even look in her direction. She wondered if it were even possible for things to have soured so badly in such a short amount of time, and might have laughed at it all if she didn't feel her heart breaking.

"I'm all ready to go," she said, her voice so low she barely heard it herself.

"There's some cookies on the kitchen table if you want them," Jim replied, his eyes never leaving the screen.

Pam bit her lip to prevent more tears. This was not how she wanted things to go, and yet she felt powerless to stop. "Okay," she replied. She waited a few more moments to see if he'd look at her, or say anything else, but he didn't. She walked out of the room and straight for the door, not even stopping to take the wrapped parcel of cookies. When she stepped out into the corridor, she pulled the front door closed with a slam that caused a neighbor at the other end of the hallway to turn around and glare at her. Pam had thought the action would have given her some satisfaction – wasn't that how all angry couples left each other? - but it gave her none. It just made her feel childish and small, and the tears threatened to return.

She walked slowly down the hallway toward the elevator, the morning's events playing over and over in her mind. She felt the guilt and the responsibility for the way things had gone, though part of her tried to remain angry with Jim by listing the things he could have done better as well.

She was aware that while so much had changed, it was near impossible to completely shake bad habits perfected over a lifetime. For years all they did was ignore confrontation between them. So why should now really be any different?

She pressed the elevator button and wondered bleakly when she'd next talk to him. She wasn't feeling so fatalistic that she thought she never would, but she expected it would be a while. Maybe they just weren't meant to be together, she thought. Maybe things are just better this way. She knew even as she thought that that she was a terrible liar.

The elevator doors dinged open and she continued to stand there, lost in thought. She stood motionless as they closed again. She heard the sound of the elevator car descending without her, and something in the sound of the gears churning and the slight scraping of metal on metal seemed to wake her from her reverie.

What was she doing? The enormity of her actions struck her all at once, leaving her feeling angry and ashamed. Had she lived through the last year of her life and learned absolutely nothing? When in her life had the most important things been easy? Exactly never.

She turned around and headed back down the hall toward Jim's door. It had been her choice to withdraw from him, to become sullen and cold as a way to avoid being hurt. But where did that leave her? Still hurt, and having hurt him in the process. She knew she couldn't leave things this way. He deserved so much more. She was steps away from his apartment when her cell phone rang, but she ignored it in her haste to talk to Jim. It continued to ring as she knocked loudly on his door, and she remembered irritably that she'd changed it to a longer ring after she'd fallen asleep that night she was supposed to stay up and talk to Jim on the phone. She was grateful when the ringing stop, and knocked again anxiously on Jim's door.

She continued to stand there waiting when her phone rang again. She sighed in frustration and was about to turn the damn thing off when the door to Jim's apartment swung open. His tall frame filled the doorway, and his cell phone was pressed up against his ear.

"Don't you answer the phone anymore, Beesly?"


	23. Chapter 30

Pam had to admit her first day back wasn't going as badly as she'd feared. She had been the first to arrive, uncertain of what to expect, and found several haphazard piles of paperwork across her desk. At least she'd be busy for a while. As the staff started to trickle in, she noticed that her morning greetings were met with the usual unexcited replies. They didn't ask how she was, or where she'd been for nearly a week. No one, that is, except for Toby, whose genuine concern over her health made Pam feel slightly guilty, and Kelly, who was primarily excited to see her back because her neighbor Alan wanted to go out with Pam again. 

"Did he call you? He said he had such a wonderful time at dinner that night."

"Why would he call me?"

"I just said, silly - he really liked you. He told me that he rarely meets girls like you," Kelly raved.

"I can't imagine why not," Pam replied, marveling silently that it seemed impossible that less than a full week had passed since that disaster.

"So has he called?"

"I don't know," Pam answered truthfully. "I don't have an answering machine at home."

"Oh, that's right. You went to your mom's, didn't you? I can't believe you got so sick you couldn't stay at your own place!"

"My mom's always been a bit overprotective," Pam smiled faintly. "Still, it was nice to be looked after."

"So now that you're back, I'll give Alan your cell phone number, okay?"

"No," Pam said, perhaps a bit too strongly. "I mean, he was nice, but I don't think I'll be able to see him again."

"Why not?" Kelly pouted. "You two looked so good together!"

Pam bit her lip. The last person she wanted to confide in at this point was Kelly, but she knew how determined she would be unless she gave her a good reason not to date Alan again. "Well, I kind of met someone last week," Pam said carefully.

"Oh my God!" Kelly squealed in delight. "You met a doctor at your mom's, didn't you? Did he fall in love with you while nursing you back to health?"

Pam couldn't help but laugh at Kelly's imagination. "Not quite like that," she said. "But you're right, he doesn't live in Scranton. It's all very up in the air, but promising at this point.-"

"Oh, Alan's going to be so disappointed," Kelly sighed. "But you absolutely have to tell me everything. What's his name?"

"Um, why don't we talk about it at lunch," Pam suggested. "I've got so much work to catch up on."

Kelly happily agreed and Pam sent Jim a short email updating him on her morning.

_**To: Jim**_

_**From: Pam  
**_

_**From: Subject: It's like I never left...**_

_Hey you - glad to be back at work? ;-)_

_I know you'll be shocked, but no one even really noticed I was gone last week. The first thing Kelly did when she saw me was try to get me to go out with her neighbor again, so I had to let her believe I'd met someone while I was out sick last week. Not completely a lie, but... I have to come up with a story of my new romance by lunchtime...where are you?!?_

_No sight of Michael yet. I wonder how long I'll stay lucky?_

_Wish you were here...XXX_

It was nearly ten-thirty when Michael arrived, and her worries that he would ask all sorts of embarrassing questions about where she'd been were for naught, as he appeared to be in a grumpy mood and headed straight for his office without so much as a wave in her direction. The sound of thunder as lunchtime neared announced the start of a heavy rain that darkened the office and had Pam praying for a power loss. She realized her mood was slowly matching the weather outside because it was after eleven and she still hadn't heard one word from Jim.

When Pam realized it had been Jim ringing her cell phone, reaching out to her before he even knew she was coming back to him, the tears finally won out. She dropped her luggage right there in the corridor and didn't wait for an invitation to wrap her arms around him and dampen the front of his t-shirt with her tears. He somehow managed to bring both her and her luggage back into his apartment without separating himself from her embrace. He shut the door with his body by backing up against it.

Jim's cell phone fell to the floor as he draped his arms around her, his head dropping down so his cheek rested against her hair. Pam was aware of how warm his skin was, how comforting it felt and how soothing the sound of his heart beating against her ear felt. She could also hear his deep voice, murmuring faint sounds of shushing as he tried to stop her crying. The result of his attempts however was a fresh batch of guilty tears.

When she felt a bit more composed, Pam pulled back to look up at Jim. She opened her mouth to apologize but he kissed her before a single word could be spoken. His lips felt gentle but insistent against hers, as if he would accept no other alternative but for her to accept him. Her hands found their way to the sides of his face, pulling him closer. After a dizzying amount of time spent pressed against the front door, Pam took a step back, her hands falling along his shoulders and down his arms, linking her hands with his.

"Come on," she said softly, pulling him towards her as she walked backwards down the hall and eventually to his bedroom.

"Forgive me?" She asked.

Jim shook his head. "There's nothing to forgive."

Pam didn't look convinced. "I behaved like a jerk. I had no right to act like that. Not after - not after everything." She fidgeted with her necklace as she spoke, the shiny new diamond solitaire he'd given her on Saturday sparkling through her fingers. As she stood there she seemed to remember what necklace she was now wearing, which only resulted in making her look (and feel) more guilt-ridden.

"You came back, though."

"Yeah," she grudgingly agreed.

"I'm pretty sure that's never happened before."

"What do you mean?"

"In the handful of arguments we've ever had, you've never been the one to make the first attempt to patch things up. And you never seemed interested in doing so this soon, either."

She continued to stare silently, a slight nod her only acknowledgment of his truth.

"It's a big thing to me," Jim admitted. "It's a big thing that you came back."

"Well, maybe I realized that you are a big thing to me."

Jim's eyebrows shot up in mirth at her unintentional double entendre. "Thank you," he couldn't help but grin. "I didn't realize size mattered so much to you."

She smiled at his lame joke, relief evident in her eyes. "Come here," she sighed, pulling him back onto the bed with her. "If I'm going to stay a little longer I want to make the most of it."

In the end Pam did decide to leave before Jonathan arrived, but it was still several hours after her initial attempt and time very well spent in both their opinions. Their goodbye in the parking lot was protracted, and neither could claim completely dry eyes as she finally drove away, but at least they'd parted knowing all was well between them.

The other positive outcome from going back was that it resulted in Pam now enjoying one of the several chocolate chip cookies she'd brought into work. The very same cookies she and Jim had made yesterday morning.

She tried to bury her rising paranoia in the sweet chocolaty goodness. She knew there must be reason she hadn't heard from Jim yet. There certainly hadn't been anything wrong when she talked to him last night after she'd arrived back in Scranton. Even with Jonathan openly teasing him in the background, Jim had remained on the phone with her for nearly two hours. There was no chance he'd merely forgotten to email or message her. But it didn't stop her from falling into her natural state of self-doubt.

Moments after finishing her cookie, almost as if she'd willed it into existence, she received an email from Jim.

_**To: Pam**_

_**From: Jim**_

_**Subject: Finally!**_

_Pam -_

_First things first - despite how it must look, I have not been ignoring you. I have been at the mercy of Josh since I walked in this morning: first with a 'chat' over coffee to recap the convention results, then the usual Monday morning sales meeting. (I'm pretty sure Karen was giving me weird looks - what exactly did you say to her on Saturday:-)) So it's been a long and tedious day, and it's not even lunch yet! The moral of this story is: Don't go away on vacation!!_

_Okay, maybe that's not it. But this really has been my first chance to get to email all morning and if I know you (and I think I do), you're sitting there at your desk fretting that you haven't heard from me yet. Don't even try to deny it. ;-)_

_What story have you told Kelly yet? You could always keep things simple and tell her your new boyfriend is named Jim - because seriously, do you think she'd even make the connection??_

_I'll give you a call at lunch, if that's okay. Dammit - Josh wants to talk to me in his office again._

_Love,_

_Jim_

_P.S. - oh, I found your little note on my monitor. I wish you were here, too. :-)_

Pam smiled as she read Jim's email over again, then glanced up at the clock. It was nearing noon, so she quickly replied to tell him she'd wait at her desk until he called. She watched Dwight leave the office at exactly twelve o'clock, then hid a smile behind her hand as Angela left two minutes later. She wondered how long the two of them would continue to hide their relationship, and then wondered what they saw in each other. Then the telephone rang and decided it wasn't a topic she'd ever really understand.

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Jim."

"Hey you," she said, her smiled infusing into her voice. "Decided you couldn't run from me all day, huh?"

"You caught me," Jim laughed. "Can you talk, or should I call you on your cell phone?"

Pam looked around the office. "No, this is fine. Nobody's paying any attention to me."

"Business as usual then?"

"Pretty much."

"Did Michael ever come in?"

"Yeah, he did," she replied. "But he's in a strange mood. He barely acknowledged me, and he's been hiding in his office since he got in."

"Count your blessings then," Jim advised.

"Oh, I am. I am."

"How are you then?" Pam could hear a slight change in the timbre of his voice, and the warmth of his tone told her what he was really asking.

"I'm doing okay," she replied. "How are you?"

"You mean besides being held hostage by my boss?"

Pam laughed. "Yeah, besides that."

"Well, my mind keeps wandering to the last time I was in this office," he said with a slight laugh. "It really does look a whole lot different with the lights on, you know."

"I'll have to see for myself some time."

"Yes, you definitely will."

"What's Jonathan doing?"

"I have no idea," Jim replied. "Probably sleeping, the bum. He offered to cook dinner, but we'll see."

"So what's the rest of your day like?" Pam asked.

Jim groaned. "Oh man, you don't want to know. Not only was I trapped in meetings all morning, but Josh informed me I have to go to a seminar this afternoon that the City of Stamford puts on for their new contractors."

"What? Why?"

"I helped get the account last month, so Josh has decided to make me the primary contact. It's really a waste of time, but at least that means I get credit for the sales."

"Wow. Earning the big bucks now, huh?"

"You know it."

Pam laughed. "Nice that one of us is. So will you be gone all afternoon?"

"Probably." Jim sighed. "I have to be there at one. I'll call you when I get out though, okay?"

"Sure," she replied. "Just try not to have too much fun." Pam heard a sound and looked up to see Kelly stood in front of the reception desk, clearly listening in. "Is that your new boyfriend?" She whispered a little too loudly to Pam.

"Hey, I have to go now," Pam said into the phone.

"Was that Kelly I heard?" Jim asked.

"Yes," Pam said simply.

"Are you going to tell her all about me?" Jim teased.

"No," Pam said sternly.

"Oh go on," Jim replied. "Make her happy. I want to know if she even blinks when you tell her the name of your new boyfriend."

"We'll see," Pam laughed. "I'll talk to you later."

"You will," he said warmly. "I promise."

Pam reluctantly hung up the phone, bracing herself for the Kelly onslaught. She was miraculously saved by the arrival of Ryan. To be completely honest, Pam hadn't even noticed he hadn't been in the office. But his appearance completely captured Kelly's attention, and Pam was able to disappear into the safety of the kitchen.

Pam was rummaging through her purse looking for her newest lip gloss when she noticed her cell phone was flashing. She had a text message. She gave up on finding the gloss and instead opened her phone. It was a message from Jim.

_**This seminar is BORING. Save me!**_

She noticed the time stamp and compared it to the time on her computer. It was now a quarter to two, and he'd sent the message nearly twenty minutes ago. She quickly replied.

_Sorry, just found your message. How can I help?_

She placed her cell phone on her desk, and waited for his reply. She hoped he hadn't turned off his phone, thinking she wasn't going to respond. It didn't take long to find out that he'd still been waiting to hear from her.

_**Entertain me.**_

Pam thought for a moment, then replied.

_How? Where are you and what can you do from there?_

She'd just hit send when Michael walked out of his office, looking extremely pleased about something. He had his coat already on, and stopped briefly at Pam's desk.

"If anyone calls, tell them I'm out on business calls." He paused, and seemed to be thinking. "If Jan calls, tell her I went home sick."

"What's going on?" Pam asked.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," Michael grinned unconvincingly. He leaned over her desk conspiratorially. "I just found out they are delivering the new magic tricks this afternoon. I've had them on order for two months now! I've got to get to the condo and wait for the Fed Ex Guy."

Pam nodded. "Got it."

"Thanks, Pam. See you tomorrow!" With a happy wave, Michael was gone. During their conversation Jim had replied.

**_Back table in a conf room. 25 other people. Did I mention boring?_**

_Shouldn't you be paying attention?_

As she sent her new text, she had a feeling her work productivity was about to take a nose dive.

_**All the info is in the booklet. They're literally reading to us!**_

_What do you want me to do?_

_**Anything. :-)**_

_Play a game ?_

_**Depends.**_

Pam thought about what they could play via text messages.

_Twenty Questions?_

**_No - too tame._**

_What does that mean??_

**_Exactly what I said. Let's make it personal._**

_How?_

**_Like truth or dare._**

_It's kind of hard to do the dare part._

**_Truth or truth then. Tell me something I don't know about you._**

_Just random facts?_

**_No, we can ask each other questions. And you have to answer._**

_And honesty is expected?_

**_Absolutely._**

_Hmm. Should I be scared?_

**_Maybe :-)_**

_Um...okay. Who goes first?_

**_I will. What are you wearing today?_**

_Oh, it's going to go THAT way?_

**_;-)_**

_Nothing exciting. White and blue striped shirt, light blue skirt, beige cardigan._

**_And?_**

_And what?_

**_what else are you wearing?_**

Pam grinned, and felt herself flush a little at the question. She decided to make him have to ask specifically for what he wanted.

_Hoop earrings. The necklace you gave me._

**_and??_**

_that's it. :-)_

**_really? Nothing under the skirt then? or the shirt?_**

_nothing exciting._

**_says you._**

_basic cotton, I'm afraid. They don't even match._

**_Ew. I am completely unattracted to you now._**

Pam burst of laughter caused Dwight to eye her with suspicion, but he soon went back to work.

_Sorry. :-( Is there nothing I can do to win you back?_

**_Tell me what you'd wear if you were trying to seduce me._**

Pam's eyes grew large as she read his challenge. She was starting to wish she was anywhere else but at work right now.

_First tell me what you're wearing._

**_dark blue suit, white shirt, dark blue tie._**

_solid color or patterned tie?_

**_small pattern - kind of like lopsided dots. I really have no idea what they are supposed to be._**

_and what else?_

**_black shoes, dk blue socks_**

_and...? ;-)_

**_boxer briefs. gray._**

_nice. :-)_

**_Now back to you._**

_Well, I guess I'd need to know what you'd like._

**_That sounds like a cop out._**

_Not really! What color do you find sexiest?_

**_In general?_**

_What would you like to see me in?_

**_Preferably nothing, but that would be awkward at work._**

_Let's start basic: cotton or satin?_

**_Satin sounds good._**

_red or black?_

**_honestly? neither._**

_what color then?_

**_I've always liked you best in pink._**

Pam smiled. She'd suggested the colors based on what she knew Roy always wanted. She should have known Jim was a dorky romantic. Just like she was.

_Then pink it is. VS has lots of pink, acc'd to Kelly._

**_Good to know. :-)_**

_Where am I trying to seduce you?_

**_Your choice._**

_No, you pick._

**_My apt._**

_I show up at your door one night?_

**_Yes._**

_In a short black dress?_

**_Is that a question?_**

_I'm not very good at this, I'm afraid._

**_You're doing fine from here._**

_Ha. I don't know how to act sexy. Or dress it._

**_You don't give yourself enough credit._**

Pam figured it was time to put him on the spot.

_What do you find sexy about me?_

**_Everything._**

_Not an answer. Be specific._

**_How soft your skin is. Esp. your breasts._**

_Okay, that was specific._

**_You did ask. :-)_**

Pam's attention was called back to work as she transferred two calls and took a message for Michael on the third. Jim's comments were still playing in the back of her mind, and she had no idea how to respond to them. She knew what she would say if he were here, or if she was somewhere other than sitting at her desk during work, but right now the natural ability to flirt with Jim seemed to be deserting her.

**_are you still there?_**

_Sorry, I actually had to work._

**_I thought I'd scared you away._**

_Hardly. There's a lot I'd like to say if I were in a better position._

**_a better position?_**

_yeah, like actually with you._

**_I know the feeling._**

_or at least somewhere more private. Dwight keeps looking over at me._

**_that's def. a mood killer._**

_I do miss you, though - I mean even though I just saw you yesterday._

**_I miss you too. It was very odd waking up without you today._**

_I woke up in the night and didn't know where I was for a minute._

**_that's because you weren't where you should have been._**

_True._

**_Want to know what else about you is sexy?_**

_sure_

**_how you laugh when I kiss your neck._**

_well it usually tickles! in a good way. :-)_

**_I wish I could feel your skin right now._**

Pam closed her eyes for a moment, certain they were both thinking the same thing.

_So do I._

**_I'm going to leave for Scranton right from work on Friday, so I should be there before 9pm._**

_Shall I make you dinner?_

**_I don't care. Just be there._**

_I'll be the one waiting anxiously on the front steps._

**_Naked?_**

_Not on the steps, no. But I'll dress to seduce. ;-)_

_See that you do._

_Oops. Looks like this is over._

_the seminar?_

_yeah. gotta go._

Pam took the opportunity to run to the women's restroom, and noticed as she looked into the mirror how flushed her cheek and lips looked. Her eyes looked dark and shining. No wonder Dwight kept staring at me, she thought. Imagine what I'd look like if Jim was still working here.

She splashed some cool water on her face, and headed back to her desk. She was startled to see a delivery man standing at her desk, but even more surprised by what he held: a large vase full of delicate pink roses.

"You'll sign for these?" The man asked, clearly irritated to have been kept waiting.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," Pam replied. She had learned over the past year that ninety-nine percent of the time floral deliveries were for Phyllis. Accepting that fact made signing for them a little less bothersome. But given her past week with Jim, a tiny voice inside couldn't help but hope that for once they were for her. Her hand shook slightly as she reached for the card, almost too afraid to look because she knew she'd be disappointed.

But amazingly she wasn't. The card on the flowers was addressed to Pam Beesly. She leaned in to take a deep breath, the lovely scent of tea roses filling her sense of smell. She opened the card with hands shaking even more than before.

I have always wanted to send you flowers. Love you. Jim.

She held the card against her chest as she admired the flowers a little longer. She couldn't help but count the roses but there were so many that she kept losing her starting point. Instead she focused on the pinkness of the flowers and was immediately reminded of his earlier comment: he'd always liked her best in pink. She'd never considered pink her favorite color before - but she thought she'd just developed a deep affinity for the shade.

She finally sat back down at her desk, and picked up her phone. She didn't know when Jim would get it, but she sent him another text message.

_Thank you for being the best at everything. I love you. xoxoxo_

She heard Kelly squeal from across the room and knew she would soon have a visitor.

"Oh my God, who are those for?" Kelly said breathlessly. "Please don't say Phyllis."

"They're not," Pam replied, unable to stop the smile from lighting up her face. "They're for me, actually."

"Oooh, you are sooo lucky!" She turned around to face her boyfriend. "Ryan did you see these?"

He didn't even look up. "Yes, Kel, they are very nice."

"You aren't even looking," she sighed, then turned back to Pam. "So who are they from? I bet they are from your new doctor boyfriend, aren't they?"

Pam chuckled. Her new doctor boyfriend. She couldn't wait to tell Jim about his new profession. "Yes," she admitted, "they are from my new boyfriend."

"So what's his name?" Kelly demanded. "I just have to know!"

"Jim," Pam said. "His name is Jim."

"Jim. That's cool." Kelly nodded. "Hey, that will be easy for you to remember, given Jim used to work here. I mean, not the same one, obviously - I mean, our Jim wasn't a doctor." She took another sniff of the roses and headed over to Ryan's desk. Pam turned back to her computer screen, trying to block out the drone of Kelly's lament over her lack flowers. The office phone rang and Pam slipped back into her role of receptionist.

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."

"When you say 'the best of everything', do you mean the best of absolutely everything? Because that covers a lot of ground."

Pam couldn't help but giggle. "I mean everything."

"Wow. I must be pretty awesome."

"You are. And according to what Kelly now thinks, you are also a doctor."

"You said your boyfriend's name was Jim?"

"I did."

"Brilliant. And she never said a word?"

"She suggested it would be an easy name for me to remember."

"That's true enough."

"You going back to work?"

"Unfortunately so. I'll email you when I get in."

"Hey," Pam said, her voice dropping to just above a whisper. "I really liked texting like that today. I mean, even if I'm not very good at it."

She heard him laugh. "I disagree that you aren't any good at it, but I'm happy to practice with you if you'd like."

"Yeah, I think we definitely should practice some more. Maybe even do some on the phone as well."

She heard him chuckle. "Practice on the phone? Pamela Beesly, are you suggesting we engage in phone sex?"

"No!" She immediately replied, feeling herself blush.

"Oh," Jim mused, "that's disappointing."

She realized he'd been teasing her and let out a sigh. "Well, I didn't say I would rule it out completely."

"That's better."

"In fact," she grinned, "it's a shame your brother is staying with you."

"Why is it a shame?"

"Because if you were alone I'd suggest I could call you up tonight, you know - to practice."

"He doesn't sleep in my bed, Beesly. I'm pretty sure I'd have more than enough privacy to, um, practice later this evening."

"They're beautiful, you know," she said, staring at her pink roses.

"Just like you. And as I said, I've been waiting a long time to give them to you."

"Too long," she agreed. "I hope they are still alive by Friday."

"I'll bring more in case they aren't."

Pam laughed. "Careful or I'll expect them all the time."

"Not a problem."

"You don't need to do that," she chided him. "I know they aren't cheap."

"Well, I've been talking to a guy about bulk discounting," Jim teased.

"Shut up," Pam laughed. "Go back to work."

"So you'll call me tonight?" He said, his voice turning more serious.

"Of course I will. What time?"

Jim paused a moment. "How about ten? Is that too late?"

"Nope, ten works for me."

"Great - just do me one favor before you call."

"What's that?"

"Don't forget to stretch first. You don't want to injure yourself during practice."


	24. Epilogue

It was not an ideal situation by any stretch of the imagination, but Pam couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this happy. Typical Monday through Friday workdays passed quicker with their endless stream of exchanged emails, text messages, and the occasional lunchtime phone calls. Pam kept Jim so up-to-date on the office's activities that sometimes he felt like he hadn't left at all. Well, except for the fact he could no longer see her from his desk. He missed that sight more than ever. Their desire to bridge the distance resulted in some pretty complicated Dwight pranks, most of which had hilarious results. With his mind and heart fully elsewhere, Jim's sales numbers fell slightly that first month, but he found it fairly difficult to care. The trade offs had made it more than worth it.

Friday nights were always the same: one of them left straight from work with a packed bag already in their trunk and made the now familiar three hour trip. Three out of the last four weeks it had been Jim coming to Scranton. He claimed it made more sense because he could adjust his schedule to leave early. It was a bit closer to the truth to say that he just preferred to spend the time at Pam's apartment. He had nothing but good memories from being there and somehow being surrounded by so many things connected to Pam seemed to make the next week just slightly more bearable. Friday night dinners were always served out of some sort of delivered container, and usually sat mostly ignored.

They would make plans for Saturday – go to the park, maybe run some errands, catch a movie. Invariably they did none of those things. Just being together was too important to interrupt it with outside distractions. Saturdays were always good days. The same could not be said of Sundays. For as compatible as they were, if they were going to argue over something silly, it happened on Sunday.

It took them three weeks of Sunday afternoon spats to see the pattern: the stress of their imminent separation meant it wasn't as easy to joke around or comments were taken completely the wrong way. Put simply, they both got cranky on Sunday. On the Friday morning of their fourth week together, Jim sent Pam an email.

_**To: Pam**_

_**From: Jim**_

_**Subject: Weekend Plans**_

_Just so I can be prepared, which of the following topics would you like to blow out of proportion on Sunday? In addition, which one(s) would you like me to overreact about? Feel free to add any issues you think I may have forgotten. Maybe my forgetfulness can be a point of contention all to itself. Possible ideas include:_

_- Any reference to Roy in any capacity_

_- Girls I've looked at more than twice (once?)_

_- Why bleu cheese dressing rocks and French dressing sucks_

_- How you still don't trust me enough to attend a sporting event_

_- Personal opinions on tacky personal items (Can you please explain to me how anyone can hate Mickey Mouse?! I'm pretty sure that makes you a communist.)_

_- Moving to Stamford_

_- Moving back to Scranton_

_- Telling people we are dating_

_- Telling our parents we are dating_

_- Law & Order versus CSI: which spin-off shows are not lame_

_- Pizza toppings (don't think that one is over by a long shot, Beesly!)_

_Anyway, I figure we can cover a lot of ground if we're prepared. _

_Your cooperation is appreciated. :-)_

_See you in less than 10 hours, you lucky girl._

_Jim :-)_

_**To: Jim**_

_**From: Pam**_

_**Subject: RE: Weekend Plans**_

_Wow. I hardly know where to begin - they all sound so good:-P How about you choose this week? After all, if I've learned nothing this past month at least I know we argue on Sunday for two reasons:_

_1. You're a smart ass._

_2. You can't admit that I am right. About everything._

_So suck on that._

_See you less than 9.5 hours now. Hope you can handle it._

_Pam_

_P.S. We also argue because of this stupid distance thing, but I'm sure you've addressed that somewhere in the list above._

_P.S.S. I love you. Dork. _

That weekend, Sunday turned out to be pretty good too.

This was not to suggest that things were perfect. Even with their natural rapport and their varieties of ways to keep in touch, the fact was that they missed each other. Terribly. And even sharing weekends together didn't seem to make it any easier to bear on the colder mid-week evenings.

Pam was seated on her living room floor, her laptop open on the coffee table. She'd purchased a simple digital camera with her last paycheck, and was sorting through all the dozens of photos she'd taken of Jim and that he'd taken of her during their past visit. Silly photos. Happy Photos. She grinned at the photos that she'd definitely not be showing her mother. Or anyone else besides Jim, for that matter. It was just after nine o'clock when her cell phone rang. She knew who it was without even glancing at the caller ID.

"Right on time, Mr. Halpert," she answered the phone with a smile.

'Hey." He sounded tired, and Pam frowned.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing, really. Just a long day."

"Want to tell me about it?"

"I don't know," Jim sighed. "It'll just bore you even more than it does me."

"Go on," she teased gently. "I'm used to bored with you."

"Thanks," he replied, unable to stop a chuckle. "That makes me feel so much better."

"I know what will make you feel better," Pam said, clicking her way through her photos.

"What?"

"These photos."

"What photos?"

"The ones we took this weekend. With my new camera."

"You're looking at them now?"

"Yep. You want to see them?"

"Of course. A chance to mock your photography skills will probably cheer me right up."

"Nice, crankypants," she scoffed. "I'll have you know my artistic flair extends to all types of media." She opened up a web browser. "Get online and check out the link I'll be sending you soon."

"Already online, Beesly," he replied. "So hurry up."

They chatted about how the paper industry was sucking both of their souls dry while Pam finished uploading the photos. "Okay, you should have email from me very soon."

"How many photos did we take?"

"Forty-three."

"Jesus. Pam, we didn't even go anywhere but Giant on Saturday night because we were out of - well, everything I as recall."

"I know," she giggled. "And trust me - I'm pretty sure most of these aren't going to be of interest to anyone but us anyway."

"Hold on, I just got your email. Let me look for myself."

Pam waited for his reaction. She could hear the sound of the clicking of his mouse, and after a few moments with no response she couldn't keep quiet any longer. "Well?" She prompted.

"I'm just starting to look. Give me a minute." Shortly after his reply she heard Jim gasp.

"What? Which one are you looking at?"

"Beesly, I'm not sure you're allowed to put these kinds of pictures on Photobucket. Oh my God," he immediately continued, "when did you take this one of me? Shit – or that one?"

"Which ones?" She couldn't help but giggle.

"You know exactly the ones I'm talking about. You know, those are the kind of photos they wouldn't even develop if it had been taken on film. They just would have contacted the vice squad."

"Well, thank God for the digital age," she teased. "I think they're great pictures."

"Pam, I think you've just ruined any chance I ever had for running for public office."

Pam giggled. "I think you're overreacting just a bit, don't you?"

"That's just – just no. I cannot believe you took those pictures!" His ranting was off-set by the sound of amusement in his tone, so she knew he was purposely giving her a hard time. "When did you even take these?"

"Saturday morning. Don't you remember? The camera was still by the bed so when you went off to the bathroom I grabbed it and awaited your return."

"You need to take these down right now."

"Don't worry, I will take most of these back down once you've seen them."

"And then you can delete them from your hard drive."

"Absolutely not," she insisted. "Those are mine forever. I shall make back-ups of back-ups of these babies."

"Christ," he muttered. "I didn't know your photographic interests leaned toward pornography, Pam."

"Only of you, Jim," she replied giddily. "Only of you. Besides, I had more than a few surprises myself when I first saw these, so don't act all innocent."

"What?" She could practically here the smile breaking in his voice.

"Just keep looking." Another minute or so of silent viewing and then Pam heard a low but quite emphatic comment on the other end of the phone.

"Wow."

"Which one?"

"The second one on page two. Oh, and the third. And the fourth."

"Yeah, I thought so. Now who's the pornographer, Halpert? When did you take those? I mean, I'm sleeping in two of them! Talk about lack of consent!"

"Sorry. I couldn't resist," he said quietly. Pam waited for him to say more, but all she heard was the sound of his soft breathing.

"You don't sound sorry," she teased. "You've got nothing else to say for yourself?"

"I think I'm going to need a minute," he replied cryptically.

Pam leaned back against the couch. "You okay?"

He paused again, then cleared his throat. "God, you are so beautiful," he finally said.

"Shut up," she told him, feeling the heat of a blush creep over her.

"It's true," he said simply. The teasing tone was gone from his voice. "Even just in pictures. You...you have no idea what you do to me."

The atmosphere in Pam's living room seemed to change completely and immediately with his words. She shivered though she clearly felt warmer, her eyes still focused on the photos of the two of them splashed across her screen. "Tell me then," she encouraged.

He sighed. "Really?"

She knew he was asking so many things at once. "Really."

"Where would I even begin to start?" He asked, a touch of humor returning to his voice. "You know, you've been at the heart of my fantasies for such a long time I'm not even sure who I dreamt of before you."

"Shut up," she said again, an automatic response to his compliments. For as much as she wanted to hear his words, her modesty fought them.

"Hey, do you want me to tell you or not?"

"I do. Really I do."

"Then quit telling me to shut up," he laughed.

"Sorry," she replied. "I'll be quiet now."

"I don't want you to be quiet," he said. "I just want you to understand."

"I'll try. Go on."

She heard him sigh again. "As I was saying," he said in an exaggerated fashion, "it's been you for a long, long time."

"I know."

"And I guess what I'm trying to say is that before... before how it is now, I had so little to base those dreams on. I was running on assumptions for years, and don't get me wrong - you'd be happy with all the credit I gave you. What you'd be like, how things would be between us..."

"I'm not sure I want to know - I might start feeling the pressure to meet those expectations of yours."

"But that's the thing, Pam," he interrupted. "A part of me accepted that I was probably idealizing you, idealizing us. But I didn't. I wasn't. What amazes me is how much better the reality has been."

Pam smiled. "Maybe your expectations were lower than you thought."

"God, no." He continued. "It was just impossible to imagine how good you truly feel."

She felt the flush creeping back, but she had to admit liked it. "I know that feeling," she said quietly. "There's nothing I love more than being with you."

He let out a slight chuckle. "So you'll understand if I'm currently feeling a little off-kilter looking at these photos."

"Off-kilter?"

"Discombobulated?"

Pam's laughter rang out. "Discombobulated? Where did you find that word - in your grandmother's attic?"

"Forget it."

"No, no - I'm just teasing you. Why do you feel so strange? You took those photos."

She heard him chuckle slightly. She recognized it as the response he usually gave when he was feeling a bit bashful, and could easily picture him sitting there running his hand through his hair. It was a habit of his for as long as she'd known him, and it never failed to make her think he looked adorable.

"Oh, I don't know," he replied. "Maybe it's the impact of the added visuals. It's not like I wasn't already wishing you were here before I called. And then missed you more when I heard your voice. Now I've got photos of you to compound the problem."

"A problem? That's a bad thing?"

"Only in that you are there instead of here. Not much use for these feelings with you so far away."

"Oh I don't know," she mused, tentatively testing the waters. "There's a lot to be said for being creative."

Pam stretched her legs out in front on her and waited for his response. When he didn't seem to be giving one, she spoke again. "So where are you right now?"

"I'm at my desk in the living room," he replied.

"You sure you wouldn't be more comfortable somewhere else?"

"Probably. What are you suggesting?"

"Oh, I don't know. I was thinking stretching out on the couch might be nice for you. Or even going back to your bedroom."

"Where are you?"

"I'm currently on my living room floor."

"That doesn't sound very comfortable either."

"Yeah, I was thinking of relocating."

"Tell me where you're going and I'll do the same."

Pam balanced her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she stood up. "Given that I'm already in my pajamas, I think the bedroom is the most appropriate place to continue this conversation."

"The bedroom it is then," he replied. "Which pajamas are you wearing?"

"You don't want to know," she groaned. "They definitely aren't going to push the mood in a good direction."

"Go on, Beesly," he cajoled. "Tell me anyway."

"Um, well... my ensemble starts with my old faded pink sweatpants. These are the ones that don't even have a string at the waist because it was lost in the wash ages ago."

"Sound comfortable."

"Oh, they are. That's the only reason I can't bear to throw them away. They are topped off with a grey, slightly oversized sweatshirt that has one, two, three, four, five lighthouses across the front, and Outer Banks, North Carolina, below it. It was a gift from my mom, and has to be at least as old as the sweatpants."

"Nice."

"But wait! Don't forget the dark blue fuzzy socks. Oh, and the black stretchy headband."

"Now you're just making things up to tease me. You know how fuzzy socks turn me on."

Pam giggled and stretched out onto her bed. "See, that's why I didn't want to say anything. I figured you were already dying with desire for me." She could hear the familiar creak of his bed in the background, and smiled at the idea that they were now arguably engaging in pillow talk. _Such a dork_, she thought to herself, but it wasn't clear if she was referring to him or herself.

"I am already dying with desire for you," he agreed. "But it's certainly a pleasant way to go."

"So now it's your turn."

"For what?"

"Tell me what you're wearing."

"Nothing nearly as sexy as what you've got on, I'm afraid."

"Go on," she urged. "I want to know anyway."

"Um, let's see. A white t-shirt imprinted with information about a fun run from 2003 that I don't remember being a part of, so I'm guessing it used to be Mark's shirt."

"You've just now noticed that it's not your shirt?"

"We lived together for a while, Beesly. Things got jumbled together. I'm sure he ended up with a few shirts of mine."

"Okay, what else?"

"Those old jeans you were making fun of last weekend because of the green permanent ink markings on the back of the knees. Which, if you don't mind my bluntness, are significantly less comfortable since I started talking to you."

"That weird," she teased. "Have you been eating a big meal during this conversation?"

"It's not the waistband that's tightened, Beesly."

"Well maybe you should get out of those jeans then, Jim. I really wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable while we talked. It might make you want to hang up early."

"That's not a bad idea," he replied. "I might just do that in a minute or two."

"Anything else then?"

"Not really. My watch, a pair of blue boxer briefs."

"No socks?"

"Nope. Totally barefoot."

"Nice," Pam grinned. "I have a weakness for those feet of yours."

"It's called a fetish, Pam," Jim corrected jokingly, "and it's kind of creepy, if you want to know the truth."

"That's not what you said before," she retorted.

"I was just trying to be polite."

"So you're saying you don't want another pedicure? Ever?"

"Well, let's not be hasty," Jim replied, causing another bark of laughter from Pam. "I wouldn't want to deny you all the pleasure you were so obviously gaining from it."

"Oh! The pleasure I was gaining from it? So you'd tolerate it just for the sake of my happiness?"

"Exactly."

"Wow. You are the best boyfriend, like, ever."

"Totally." They stopped talking as laughter overtook both of them. Pam hoped to move the conversation to a more intimate level.

"So are those jeans off yet?" She asked, aware her voice was sounding a little deeper than usual.

"Do you really want me to take them off?" His reply sounded more challenging than questioning.

"I just wish I was there to do it for you," she replied, a surge of adrenaline hitting her at her own boldness.

"That would be nice," he said. "Hold on a minute." She could hear the muffled sounds of the bed creaking, but soon he was talking again. "That's better," he said. "But what about you?"

"My pants fit fine," she grinned.

"That's a shame," he replied. "Here I thought we had some important things in common. Maybe I should just let you get back to your photos."

"Now wait a minute," Pam protested, "you didn't let me finish. They fit fine, but I have to say it's awfully warm in here. Much too warm for sweats."

"Right. In that case, I think you should do whatever it is you need to in order to feel more comfortable. I wouldn't want you to get overheated."

"You sure about that?"

"Well..."

"Yeah I thought so." Still, she shimmied her sweatpants down around her ankles, then threw them toward the corner of her room. "There, now we're even," she told him, lying back on the bed. "I took the socks off, too."

"Aw, now you've gone and ruined it, Pam."

"Quiet, you," she laughed. "and don't forget to take that shirt off."

"Okay," Jim chuckled. "Barking orders at me now, are you?"

"I've learned I'm happier when I ask for what I want."

"That sounded a little stronger than just an 'ask'."

"Maybe I really want it."

"Wow," Jim replied. "Yes, ma'am." A moment later he spoke again. "Done. Now what about you?"

"Tell me something first," she said.

"Sure."

"Those fantasies you were talking about," Pam paused, wanting so much to ask the question but unsure of her words, "back when things were, well, before -"

"You want to hear one?"

Her voice was barely louder than a whisper. "Yes."

"Wow. Well, okay." Jim let out a deep breath. "They were never actually intended for public disclosure."

Pam giggled. "I promise I won't grade you on them."

"It's not that," he laughed. "It's just there isn't much to tell. None of them were very complicated."

"You surprise me, Jim. I would have expected more in the way of complex storylines from you."

"I'm a guy, Pam. The situations might have altered slightly, but I assure you the stories all end the same way. And they get to the point pretty quickly."

"And the point being?"

"Fucking you."

"Jim!"

His laugh was deep and unapologetic. "You were asking for that, Beesly. You know you were."

"I'm shocked," she replied, her laughter making a liar of her. "I'm deeply, deeply shocked."

"Yeah, that's why you've got me on my bed stripped down to my underwear. You're here for a book club discussion."

"Perhaps. But why are you still in your underwear?" She teased.

"Just waiting for the word, I guess."

"Consider it given then."

"Not until I hear that sweatshirt of yours is gone."

She sat back up, and brushed the edge of her collar against the phone as she pulled the offending garment over her head. "Hear that sound? That's the departure of my sweatshirt."

"About damn time, too."

"Why, do you have someplace you need to be?"

"Sort of," he said. "And on my own I'd probably have been there twice by now."

"Oh Jim," she sighed dramatically, "Don't you know it's all about the journey?"

"I don't know about that," he countered. "I've heard some amazing things about the destination."

"If you're in such a hurry I could let you go – you know, attend to these matters" she dragged the end of her sentence out slowly, "all by yourself."

He chuckled. "Okay, now you're really being a tease."

"Besides," she continued, "I bet you started without me a while ago." He laughed again, but didn't reply. "I'm right, aren't I?" She asked.

"I guess it depends on your definition of 'started'."

"Are you trying to sound like Bill Clinton? Because it's scaring me."

"Don't be shy, Pam. Just ask what you are obviously dying to ask."

Pam closed her eyes and giggled slightly at the delicious perversity of it all. "Jim Halpert, are you playing with yourself?"

Like vaudeville act waiting for the set up, she could practically hear him smiling. "Absolutely, I am."

"Unbelievable," she laughed, aware of just how turned on she was at this information. Assuming was one thing, but knowing... "I have to say, you've sure changed your tune since last time."

"Last time?"

"Yeah, the last time I got to witness your self-love."

"Hey, not about me, it's all about you. And excuse me for not being an exhibitionist before I met you."

"Oh, so now that's my fault."

"Entirely."

"That's okay - I can live with that. Just limit your urge to expose yourself to one person, okay?"

"Is that ONLY one person or one person at a time?"

"Only ONE person - namely, me."

"Hmm...I'm not sure. Think you can handle sole responsibility for that?"

"I've seen you," she teased. "And I certainly can."

"Wait...that doesn't sound like a compliment."

"Don't be so sensitive," she replied. "If I didn't want the job I wouldn't have offered. Or are you going to be the type who needs their ego stroked continuously?"

"Amongst other things."

"Nice," she laughed. "I still don't understand why you were embarrassed that night anyway."

"Well, obviously unlike you, I'm not in the habit of jerking off in front of other people."

"Unlike me? Trust me, nobody's ever been to that particular show."

"No?"

"Noooo... Why would that be so hard to believe?"

"I guess I just assumed... I mean you were in a relationship a long time... Seriously? Never?"

"Let's just say that Roy was the type to think masturbation was for people who weren't getting it regularly, and why do it if you could just have sex instead? He would have taken it as a blow to his pride had he known I ever did it."

"But you did. Do it, I mean."

"Yeah, occasionally. Maybe a little more often late in the relationship."

"Oh really?" Jim sounded a bit amused at this revelation.

"Yeah."

"Do I sense a confession?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"I just think it might make you feel better getting it off your chest. Just like that bra I'm going to have to ask you to take off."

"Relax," Pam laughed. "We'll get there, Halpert." She paused. "And if you really want to know the truth there were times I had someone else on my mind."

"Beesly, you hussy!"

"Shush," she replied, unable to stop a giggle. "I felt guilty enough at the time."

"Did you really?"

"Well, yeah. It was kinda of like cheating. At least to me."

"Well, I hope you had a good time hypothetically cheating with this other interest."

"I did," she said thoughtfully, "but like you said earlier, the reality turned out to be so much better."

A silence fell heavy between them, but it was comforting and warm, and it only highlighted the electricity between them. Jim cleared his throat before he spoke again.

"So you've never - with anyone?"

"That's what I said."

"Will you show me?"

Pam smiled. Despite everything she thought he sounded slightly nervous, as if there were even a possibility she'd say no. Like she'd deny him anything at that point.

"I suppose that's something I'd be open to." She mused. "Reciprocity is expected, of course."

"Of course."

"Good. I quite enjoyed the show last time."

"Well, just so you know, I do encourage audience participation."

"Kind of like now?"

"Very much like now, except it's more hands-on, if you get what I mean."

"Yeah," she laughed, throaty and low. "I definitely got that impression."

"Speaking of that, how's that bra coming along?"

"I think I need some help with it, actually."

"What sort of help?"

"Maybe having someone talking me through it. You know, so I do it right."

"Well you are in luck, Beesly."

"I am?"

"You are. I happened to be a qualified bra remover."

"What are the odds?" Pam couldn't help but roll her eyes. "So what sort of qualifications do you have?"

"I studied for years under the finest talents in Europe."

"Wow, that is impressive."

"And I've been through your underwear drawer, so I'm familiar with every bra you own."

"Well you do sound well-suited for the job. Care to give me a hand?"

"If only I could, Pam," he said wistfully.

"Well I've got a hell of a good imagination if you do," she replied.

"Okay," he said, his voice deliberately more cheerful, "are the hooks in the front or the back?"

"Front."

"Ah - is the beige or the blue one?"

Pam was impressed. "The blue. You really have been going through my drawers."

"I notice details, Pam. Especially those sorts of details."

"Okay," she grinned. "You know what I'm wearing. Now what?"

"Well, here's where it gets complicated. You'll need to unclapse all three hooks."

"Starting from the top or bottom?"

"Definitely the top."

She took a deep breathe and was aware of a tingling spreading through out her body. "Okay, there's the first." Pause. "And the second." Another brief pause. "And finally the third. Now what do you want me to do?"

"It's completely up to you, but I'd probably take it off."

Pam was quiet. So quiet Jim spoke again. "Still there?"

"This is so weird," she replied.

Jim seemed genuinely confused. "In what way?"

"I don't know - I guess I didn't expect things would stay so much the same."

"I'm not sure I follow you. Do you not want to do this?"

"No! No, of course I want to do this. It just hit me."

"What did...?"

"I mean, look at us. We've been on the phone for nearly an hour, both half-undressed -"

"...actually I'm completely undressed," Jim interrupted.

"Well, exactly," she replied. "Yet even in this scenario we continue to giggle and laugh like we're just having some sort of high school sleepover."

gI'm sorry. Do you want me to be more serious? I just didn't want you to think I was trying to rush you into anything. You seemed more interested in taking our time, and despite my earlier comments, I really don't mind."

"I - No, I don't just mean now. I guess the idea just hit me that I never expected being together like this would be so much fun."

"You know what, Pam? I really don't want to think too hard on what your past experiences must have been like to form that idea, because I'd just get angry." Jim's voice sounded strained and Pam worried she'd upset him. "But trust me, things are only suppose to get better when you move beyond friendship. Not worse, and not entirely different. Who we are hasn't changed. You're still my best friend; why wouldn't it be this easy to laugh and joke around despite the fact that I'm still dying to make love to you?"

"I know," she replied apologetically. "It's stupid."

"No, it's not. You're just not used to being loved the way you deserve to be. I've been turned on since you picked up the phone, and hell, Pam - just the sound of your laugh makes me harder every time I hear it. So, I think I'm already pretty damn serious when it comes to you."

Pam rolled onto her side. "I'm sorry. I know I've ruined the moment."

"Hey, you haven't ruined anything." Jim sighed. "I'm still here completely naked, and you're still there hopefully removing your bra, so we're good as far as I can tell."

Her laughter was contagious. "I'm glad you're not losing focus on what's important."

"I love you, Pam. That's what's important. That and the fact this erection is not going to away as long as it thinks there's a chance at getting you out of the rest of the clothes."

She moved onto her back once more, tossing another clothing item onto the floor. "Well, you'll be happy to know that the bra is now gone. And I really love you, too."

She heard him chuckle. "So tell me, is your skin as soft as I remember?"

"You mean since Sunday?"

"Seems like it's been much longer than Sunday."

"It does." Pam ran her hand across her belly, her fingers brushing across the waistband of her briefs. "And yes, my skin is just as you remember."

She thought she heard his breath hitch and felt a shiver at the thought of what he was doing. "I wish I was there to help you," she said.

"Oh, you're doing just fine," he assured her. "I wish I could be doing more for you."

Pam slipped her panties off. "Trust me, there's no complaints from this side."

"Really? None?"

"Uh-uh." She felt like she should tell him what she was doing, but the words simply weren't forming. "Do you know what I really love about you?" She asked instead.

"No, tell me."

"I love your voice. I could listen to it all day long. In fact," she added, "I have a little confession."

"Go on," Jim encouraged.

"I still have every voice mail you've sent. Some nights I lie in bed and listen to them over and over."

"You are such a dork, Beesly," he said softly.

"I do," she insisted. "You have no idea what your voice does to me."

"What's it doing to you right now?"

"Making me feel very good."

"Are you sure that's all because of my voice?" He teased.

"It's certainly helping."

"Helping what?" Jim replied. "Pam Beesly, what are you doing?"

"Whatever you want me to be doing."

"Are you...?"

"Yes," she replied. "Aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Good."

"I don't think it will be for much longer though," he paused. "Not while imagining you like that."

"That's okay," she said. "Keep talking and I won't be either."

"What do you want me to talk about?"

"Anything. Where should we go on a vacation." Her breathing was heavier, more audible, and she knew he could hear it. She wanted him to hear it.

"I... I guess it depends on the time of year," He said. She could hear the change in his voice, in his breathing, too. She thought perhaps she was being a bit cruel in having to make him actually think, but maybe it was more fun that way.

"How about this winter?" She supplied helpfully. "Where would you like to go that's warm?"

"To be honest, Pam, right now a week in bed with you sounds like the best plan I've ever heard."

"That would be warm," she replied. "Let's take the first week of February off and do that."

"Deal," he said softly.

Pam felt like she was coming close. "Jim?"

"Hmm...?"

"Are you...?"

"Almost."

"Me, too." She wanted to say more, to ensure that he knew how much he affected her, just by being there, just by listening to him breathe, most of all by just how safe she felt with him. "I am so in love with you, Jim."

His response was muffled as she felt herself slipping under, and she didn't try to stop the sounds of pleasure she made as she climaxed. She had barely returned to her senses when she could hear him saying her name. She closed her eyes, willing that sound into her memory. She hugged the phone to her ear silently, waiting for him to return. It seemed like forever until she finally heard his voice again.

"Hey, you still there?"

She smiled. "Yes. You?"

"I'm here."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

Something in his tone made her doubt his words. "Are you sure?" The quiet on his end of the line was deafening. "Jim?"

"I don't want to end this conversation in an argument," he finally said.

Now it was Pam's turn to be confused. "Why would it? What's the matter?"

"I don't know how much longer I can bear this."

She guessed what he was talking about, but didn't want to take the risk of misinterpreting things. "Bear what?"

"I know we haven't been together all that long, but at the same time we have. And maybe I just feel the weight of all that missing time. I know I shouldn't push you."

"I miss you too, Jim. You know that."

"I know. And I know this hasn't been easy for you either, but I've been really thinking about things."

Pam's heart skipped a little erratically. Was he going to break up with her? It didn't seem possible but it was the first fear that crept into her mind. "What things, Jim?"

"I know we agreed to wait a little while before talking about plans for the future. But if tonight's taught me anything, it's that I can't bear to wait. I know... I know when we first got together I asked you about moving down to Stamford, and you weren't interested."

"It wasn't that I wasn't interested. It was just all a little too much too fast to process. So much had changed in that one week."

"Yeah, well I know how much of your life is wrapped up in Scranton. I mean, it's not like my family isn't in the area too." He took a deep breath before continuing. "So I just need you to know that I'll move back to Scranton if that's what you want – if you really don't think you would be happy here. I just need you, Pam. Where ever that is."

The intensity of his words and the vulnerability she knew was behind them made her heart ache for him. "I need you too. You know that. And I feel the same way. I really do." Pam wanted to reach through the phone to assure him they were on the same side of this. "You're right, it is time to talk about things like that. But let's do it in person, okay? I promise we'll talk about it this weekend."

"I'm not saying one of us has to uproot in the next week – or month even. I just want a plan. I want something concrete I can look forward to, knowing we aren't going to be in limbo like this forever."

"Me too. We'll work this out, Jim. I'm not afraid to make plans – I just want to make sure they're best for both of us."

"Well by this point the only thing best for me is being with you – wherever you want that place to be."

"Wherever _we_ want that place to be," she corrected.

Despite her sincere intentions, the coming weekend did not result in talking about their future. When Jim arrived at her door early Friday evening, it was to find a very unwell Pam sitting on the floor of her bathroom. What they'd hoped would be another weekend of quiet escape in each other turned into Jim's transformation into quite a respectable nurse, looking after Pam while she spent most of the weekend asleep in bed.

Pam was full of apologies during her waking moments, but Jim didn't mind. He would, of course rather she'd not been sick, but looking after her was something he took pleasure in. It was something he was confident that he was good at, and he wanted to be the person she could turn to when she needed help. It might not have been a weekend as full of passionate encounters as the others had been, but when he left for Stamford on Sunday, he felt he had somehow managed to fall even further in love with her.

That following week Pam felt like she was watching her life from the outside looking in. She wondered what it was that as keeping her in Scranton. As she scanned the faces in the office that Tuesday morning, she realized she had an attachment of some sort to everyone in that office. Even when they made her crazy, there was a comfort in being there. Then her eyes rested on Jim's desk, and she knew she would trade everyone in that office for just him. And suddenly the answer seemed to simple.

He'd left Scranton to get away from her and the life he thought she'd chosen. He left to try and find something new for himself. And for all his years of talk that selling paper wasn't something he wanted to do, she was so proud of how well he'd made it in Stamford in such a short amount of time. Even if she knew that part of his focus was driven by his earlier need to try and forget her, the fact was he was now reasonably established in Stamford. He'd reached some level of success, and she couldn't see a single reason to take that away from him. She was the reason he'd left Scranton; it was only fitting she come to him in Stamford.

Decision made, Pam spent the rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday learning everything she could about her new future hometown. She studied maps of the area, read the classifieds online, and sent for more information on the Connecticut Institute of Art, which was located in nearby Greenwich. The more she thought about it, the more certain she was of her decision. She carefully printed out everything she found, tucking it into a neat red folder. She was driving to Stamford this weekend, and she decided she'd wait until then to tell Jim.

She arrived home Thursday night to the welcome surprise of Jim sitting on her front porch steps. "What are you doing here?" She asked. "I thought I was driving to see you tomorrow."

He shrugged and stood up, pulling her a hug. "I have a surprise for you that just couldn't wait."

"Well, let's get inside, you feel frozen." She replied, rubbing his arms. She unlocked the front door and followed him inside, the weight of her red folder heavy in her bag. She smiled to herself as she took off her coat.

"Actually, Jim, I have a surprise for you as well," she said, her smile shining brighter. "I was going to tell you tomorrow, but seeing as you're here..."

He turned to face her, still standing. "Why don't you go first then?"

She noticed how he was shifting on his feet, and wondered why he looked a bit nervous. "You don't have bad news, do you?"

"Oh no – nothing bad," he assured her. "I'm just interested in your surprise."

"Do you want to sit down?"

"Is this something I should sit down for?" He asked, a slight smile crossing his face.

Pam grabbed his hand and pulled him down on the couch with her. "Yeah, probably." They sat semi-facing each other, Jim's arm draped along the back of the sofa, his hand resting near her shoulder. "Okay, here's the thing," she started, glancing up at him. "I decided I want to move to Stamford."

"Pam...wow," Jim stuttered. "That's not even close to what I expected you to say."

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know," he half-laughed. "But it wasn't that. I -"

"Please," she held up her hand. "Let me finish saying everything."

He bit his lip and nodded slightly, allowing her to continue.

"I want to be with you," she said. "I've been thinking about all the good things you've accomplished down there, and how beautiful it is, and even though all my family is here – the truth is that you're my family now, and as long as I'm with you I'm going to be just fine."

She pulled her bag onto her lap and pulled out her folder. "I have a bunch of stuff inside to show you – an art school I was thinking I could attend, some companies that might be needing a receptionist – I really think this could work."

He held up his hand to stop her animated chatter. "Okay, I get the picture."

"Aren't you happy with the news?" Pam was feeling a bit worried by his lack of reaction. "Isn't this want you wanted?"

He shook his head adamantly. "No, it's not about that. I am delighted you made a decision – that you're willing to take such a big leap for me. But I think you need to hear my news."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's nothing life-threatening. Or bad, really." He ran both his hands through his hair and gave her a lopsided smile. "It's just that Jan told us today that they're closing the Stamford branch next month. I'm coming back to Scranton."


End file.
